Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I don't even own a Freakazoid plushie to cuddle at night! Sob! So don't sue me for wishing that I did! 'Cause if I did, I would definately make some movie deal with Freakazoid in it, and it would be cooool.
Camouflaged in the darkness and balanced on the edge of a roof, he watched.
He typically watched over the city this way to scout for anything suspicious, and the high vantage point was ideal. At the moment, he was watching a man run down the street in a comical fashion. The man's arms were raised high in the air and he could vaguely hear the person making "whooshing" noises, almost like he was a little kid pretending to be Superman. This wasn't suspicious, it was downright unusual.
For a moment he wondered if Superman would laugh or be offended by such a display.
Other than the man's bizarre way of running around in the middle of the night, he had spiked black hair and blue skin.
Not that it wasn't the strangest thing he had ever seen, but it wasn't exactly normal. This also applied to the red suit that the character was wearing.
If Batman had just met the person, he would probably assume that they were another hero visiting Gotham or a criminal to add to the ever-growing list. However, since he had been following the strange man for some time, he had to conclude that it was probably some loon that escaped Arkham.
And the blue skin? By now, Batman was sure he could pull off the same effect with some spray paint and make-up.
He hadn't watched the individual long enough to be absolutely sure, but he was fairly certain that although insane, the man seemed harmless enough.
He wanted to chuckle at the man's misfortune of running into a street lamp, but settled for a barely repressed grin. If anyone caught him laughing at some mentally impaired individual, that would look worse than most of the "crimes" he had commited.
The blue-skinned man rubbed his forehead and mumbled something inaudible before going back to his bizarre activity. At this point, Batman acknowledged that this person was more of a danger to himself. The police could easily take care of it, but who knew what could happen before they arrived?
He was about to swoop down and put the display to an end, until the man suddenly yelled, "Heeeeey!"
For a split second, Batman thought that he had been discovered, but the person hadn't turned to face him, so it had to have been for some other reason.
"Hand it over or your IN BIG TROUBLE!" the man shouted. Confused, Batman looked in the direction that the man was facing and noticed that there was a darkly dressed woman at the end of the street. She looked startled at the man's outburst, but took off running when the man "flew" toward her.
Alright, so maybe this person wasn't entirely harmless.
Leaping from rooftop to rooftop, he quickly caught up to the crazed man and leapt in front of him.
"Whoa!" the other raised his voice in panic as he tried to slow down. Before he could make impact, Batman sidestepped and grabbed the back of his clothes, yanking him to a sudden stop.
Ignoring the man's indignant yelp of, "Hey! What are you doing?!" Batman seized both of his arms and handcuffed him. He was able to get a decent look at the man's face and noted the mask that covered his eyes. Further down, on the chest, was a "F!" design that must have been a logo of some sort.
"Wait a minute!" the blue man said, "I know you! Your that bat guy! Can I have your autograph?"
Not a common request from someone he had just apprehended, but the stranger thing was that the man hadn't struggled. A little too easy, but perhaps the problem was that he was a little too insane.
"Who are you?" Batman gruffly asked the individual.
"I'm FREAKAZOID!" came the immediate response, "So how's about that autograph? Hey, can you sign my forehead? Pleeeease?" Being in such close proximity, Batman had to resist the urge to rub his pained ears.
Freakazoid? Well, the name suited him, but that wasn't really the information he wanted, "What's your real name?"
"Nuh uh," the blue man chided, "Tell me yours first."
Before Batman could retort Freakazoid exclaimed, "Okay fine! I'll tell you! My name's Bill Clinton!"
Batman mentally sighed. The problem with working with crazies, is that you rarely got a straight answer. He fired another question regardless, "Are you from Arkham?"
"From what?" Freakazoid asked cluelessly.
"Nevermind," Batman pulled the man over to a street lamp and withdrew some rope, tensing his body for any sudden moves.
Freakazoid readily complied, however, and it was putting him ill at ease. As he wrapped the rope around him, the man yammered on a mile a minute, "How about when your done with that, let's go get some burgers? I'm staaaarving. I haven't eaten anything since fifteen minutes ago. We could go flying around with your funny bat powers of doom and hit all the burger stands fast! It'd be great! Oh, by the way, I'm a hero too."
"That's nice," Batman said while securing the rope. He could just tip the police on where the man was and let them figure out where this guy was supposed to go. Done with his task, he gave the man a short frisk to make sure he didn't have anything he could use to get away.
The crazed man continued, "Yeah, only I can't fly, but I can do a bunch of other cool stuff! Except telekinesis. It's sooo lame. But I can run super--WOW! You can tie REALLY good knots!"
Indeed he did, which was needed, since he couldn't spend the entire night babysitting the man. Turning to leave, Freakazoid suddenly gasped, "Oh no!"
Batman faced the man in curiosity, "What is it?"
"I just remembered!" Freakazoid said morosely, "I was supposed to catch Cobra Queen and she got away! Nutbunnies! Now I'll probably have to go in the sewers! I HATE poo gas!"
Batman made no comment, but instead walked away before Freakazoid said anything else distracting. On his way to the bat-mobile, he tipped off the police and erased the event almost entirely from his mind.
Several weeks later, while he was researching a criminal that came from Maryland, he came across a Washington D.C. news article about the city giving an award to a blue-skinned hero. His thoughts weren't on how the man had managed to escape, but instead he pondered over something else.
Gotham has Batman, Metropolis has Superman, New York has the Fantastic Four, but the nation's capital had Freakazoid to be their hero?
Bruce Wayne sat down hard on his chair and was torn between snorting or sighing.
Interesting? Good? Bad? Do you think I should make it multi-chapter? What should be done? Oh, and yes, Batman likes to frisk people all the time. X3 Just thought that this should be done since there is so few Freakazoid stories out there. He needs some love too! Ah yes, and I know some of you might be screeching "What about Spiderman? And Thor? And the X-Men! And Spawn! And Iron Man!" Well, I'm not going to list every one so deal. Other than that, I think this was good progress in the battle of Freakazoid earning a place in the world. Good for him! :D