Summary: Hikaru had fallen in love with Haruhi Fujioka. But the stupid thing was, it had been such a casual and small moment, that she probably didn't even remember it.
Pairings: HikaHaru, TamaHaru
Disclaimer: I disclaim any claims you claim I claim as I don't claim those claims you claim I claim. End disclaimer. :3 Now say that that ten times, really fast. XD
Hikaru had fallen in love with Haruhi Fujioka.
He could name the exact moment it had happened too. It wasn't an important or particularly remarkable moment in any way, so much so that he knew Haruhi would've already forgotten it, and thoughtlessly brushed it off as an everyday occurrence. But her off-hand words that day had hit him so forcefully, that it had finally knocked him over the edge.
And he had fallen for her. Hard.
So hard, he could practically feel his heart shuddering and aching painfully in complete and utter longing as he stared at her. But the stupid thing was, it had been such a casual and small moment, that she probably didn't even remember it.
The moment it happened had been subtle and fleeting.
"I'm glad you and Kaoru are talking again."
"I missed seeing the both of you together."
"Are you and Kaoru feeling alright now?"
Hikaru paused and flashed his best hosting smile at the small crowd of girls around him, trying not to get distracted from them by catching sight of his newly dark ash bangs falling into eyes; he still wasn't used to the stark change of colour, having only dyed it that morning. Kaoru was on the other side of the room, attempting to hurriedly look over his homework while his own group of teary eyed girls pestered him with identical worries and woes.
"Yes, we're both fine." He told them reassuringly, fidgeting slightly as he glanced over to where Haruhi was taking her books out.
"Good." The girl beamed, drawing his attention back. "I missed the two of you together."
Mm. Me too.
Hikaru finally got to amble over to his seat and sit down, happily swapping a quick smirk with his counterpart.
He had missed Kaoru when they had been fighting.
It had killed him to be apart from him for so long, being forced to consider the horrible possibility that his twin might genuinely hate him. It had killed him to see Kaoru acting to cosily with Haruhi, inspiring bursts of jealous anger. The whole fight had killed him.
Kaoru returned his smirk with a soft grin of his own, one he hadn't seen for what seemed like ages.
He had missed him.
He had missed her too.
As the teacher began the lecture, only pausing to remind the class to take notes, he glanced over to her hesitantly, a warm blush tinting his face as he promptly ignored his notes, opting to just copy some from Kaoru later.
Haruhi, of course, was doing the complete opposite and was rigorously taking down annotations, eyes set almost determinedly as she scribbled down every note the teacher said.
Having stayed up the whole night prior worrying about Kaoru, Hikaru's mind felt too dopey to bother with the strict pace the teacher set and he just let his mind wander aimlessly instead, lazily doodling pictures of whatever came to his head on the corner of his book. Occasionally, he glanced up at Haruhi, just for the pure want to look at her.
He nearly had a heart attack when she caught him off guard by suddenly looking straight back at him.
Subtly, she slid a folded piece of paper onto his desk without the teacher noticing, mouthing 'From Kaoru' when he shot her a puzzled look. There was a small, exasperated smile on her face as he looked at it hesitantly, wondering mildly whether Kaoru was going to tell him off for completely ignoring the whole class (in note form); Haruhi rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she glanced back to the teacher, too glad that the two were talking again to really get annoyed.
Shooting Kaoru a suspicious look, Hikaru unfolded the note, instantly spotting Kaoru's small writing;
Quit staring at Haruhi, you're drooling all over your doodles. ;P You're not drawing her are you?
Flushing a bright scarlet, Hikaru's brow furrowed as he glared over at his twin, who was coughing to try and mask his teasing sniggers from the teacher's distrustful gaze. Crossing Kaoru's note out furiously, he quickly flipped the paper round and proceeded to write the most crushing and witty comeback he could think of.
What? He was tired.
Feeling slightly miffed at his feeble comeback, but too distracted by trying to hide his flustered blush to really care, Hikaru quickly passed the note back, sulking when Kaoru responded to his reply with a triumphant smirk.
Stupid know-it-all brother.
But it wasn't long until he was stealing glances at her again.
The moment he fell in love with her wasn't when she flawlessly told him apart from his twin. The moment wasn't when she had been so kind to him and he'd held her in the church in Karuizawa. It hadn't even been when she'd comforted him when he was forced to be separated from Kaoru.
The moment was much more subtle and unimportant.
He suddenly realised that class had ended and almost everyone had left and he jumped up hurriedly, noticing Haruhi give him an incredulous look.
"Coming, Hikaru?" She prompted in an amused drawl, cocking an eyebrow as he nearly fell over his own feet in his scramble to get up; Kaoru, who was hovering by the door as he waited for them, showed his support by snorting with laughter.
"Yeah, yeah..." He managed to mumble as he collected his books, slightly red-faced; it did nothing to help his newly found Haruhi-induced blush when he noticed her waiting politely for him, while Kaoru gave him a rather suggestive look before wandering innocently out of the door, leaving the two (Hikaru noticed with a jolt) alone.
There a slow pause as Haruhi watched him silently and Hikaru, very aware of this, tried to stuff his things away as quickly as possible.
Oh God, Haruhi's talking.
"Mm? Yeah, Haruhi?"
And then she said it. The simple, off-hand comment that made him snap and helplessly cave into his burning affection.
"I missed you, Hikaru." She said with a small smile. "I'm glad you can talk to me again. Despite the fact you can be really annoying, I didn't like not having you around me like you usually are."
I missed you, Hikaru.
Not Hikaru and Kaoru. Not both. Just Hikaru.
And that was the moment Hikaru Hitachiin fell in love.
Because that was what he wanted. Secretly held in the depths of his subconscious, that was the thing he longed for more than anything; for someone to miss him, to need him, to love him more than anyone else in the world. For someone to single him out and chose him above everyone, even his twin.
He wanted the individuality that came with being loved.
And, in that moment, he loved her so much.
But Haruhi, oblivious to the power of her casual words held, simply turned away to glance at the clock, commenting casually about the fact they were going to be late for their next lesson. She had made him fall for her without even noticing, without even showing any effort.
She needn't need to.
She carried on talking about something as they walked together, trying to catch Kaoru up, but, though he hung on every syllable she spoke with a greedy adoration, he was too fuzzy-minded to make out her words.
Hikaru had fallen in love with Haruhi.
Haruhi broke Hikaru's heart.
And he knew the exact moment it happened too.
It wasn't when she became flustered whenever a certain blonde came near her. It wasn't when she rejected Hikaru's heartfelt confession. It wasn't even when he when he saw her gently return the gesture when the said blonde threw his arms round her.
Though all that, his heart beat too strongly to ever break.
He loved her too much for his heart to ever weaken enough to shatter. He loved her with too much fire to ever give up. Through everything, he found no alternative to his unrequited feelings but to keep trying desperately, changing everything he could to try and prove to her how deep and true his love was.
But Haruhi broke Hikaru's heart.
The moment it happened had been subtle and fleeting.
It had been a normal, uneventful day at the club; Tamaki was giving a sappy speech about Huni and Mori's graduation and the twins, having quickly grown bored of his dramatics, were flicking through a commoner's magazine Haruhi had brought in for them, sniggering at all the money saving tips.
Stumbling onto an article that made both cynical twins snort out loud in disbelief, Hikaru quickly turned to share it with Haruhi, grinning. When he saw her, his grin fell away.
And he saw it. The simple, over-looked thing that finally wormed its way through his optimistic defences like a maggot and broke his heart in two.
It wasn't because she looking so intently at Tamaki; he had already gotten used to that, gotten used to hurriedly brushing it off as nothing. It was the soft expression he suddenly noticed in her eyes.
It looked exactly like how he looked at her.
And then he realised.
And his heart broke.
Because if she loved him as much as Hikaru loved her, there was no way he would ever be able to have her. There would be no way he could ever get her to change her mind or sway her to open her heart to another. She would never learn to love him in the way he wanted. She wouldn't, couldn't.
Not if she loved Tamaki with the total adoration Hikaru loved her.
He couldn't just shift his devoted love. So neither could she.
He couldn't win.
And that was the moment Hikaru's heart finally broke and splintered into a thousand, jagged pieces, the silent pain of it causing a miserable shudder to tremble down his spine.
Haruhi didn't notice.
That night was the first time Hikaru had ever cried for his love for Haruhi.
He'd wept furiously and childishly for the pointlessness of it all, unable to help the feeble sobs as he gripped his twin's shoulder. Kaoru had stayed with him all night, holding him securely, eyes shadowed with such pity and sorrow it matched Hikaru's own.
"I'm sorry, Kaoru." He had spluttered. "I'm sorry. I won't cry again, I promise. Just for tonight, and I'll get over her tomorrow. I'll just cry tonight and I'll love her how I'm supposed to tomorrow. I can do that, can't I, Kaoru? I promise, I will. It'll stop hurting tomorrow. Right, Kaoru? I can forget her soon. I'll just cry for now, and I'll be okay tomorrow. Right, Kaoru?"
But no matter how many times he asked, Kaoru remained silent.
He just couldn't bring himself to lie.
That night was the first time Hikaru cried for his love for Haruhi.
A/N: ....well. That was depressing. O.o Stuck with an urge to write but no ideas to write about, I came out with this. Neh. It's not very good. But yeah. Blame TamaHaru and the current manga chapter for this one-shot's depressing-ness! Let's all join hands and curse TamaHaru together. :3
I'm off to write HikaHaru fluff to cheer myself up. Thank you for reading! XD –throws chocolates-