Author's rant: This piece was actually inspired by two things: the twenty truths community on LJ and the works of the lovely lovesrainscent who's Twenty Truths about Orochimaru is a must read – as are all her Jiraiya/Tsunade and Shikaku/Yoshino works.
Also, a huge thank you goes out to my beauty, Sezjera, for beta-ing this. And she doesn't even know the Narutoverse, isn't she awesome? *hugs*
Regarding language: Hime = Princess, Baa-chan = Grandma
And lastly, I love feedback. So please leave me a review, even if it's only a short one. :)
Twenty Truths about Jiraiya… Some known to all, some he guards most zealously.
Jiraiya was seven when he peeked into the women's section of the bath house for the first time. It confused him back then, which led to more peeking.
Jiraiya was not as bad a student as the academy instructors believed, he just flubbed his tests so he would end up on the same team as that flat-chested, blonde kid whom everyone treated like a princess. Unfortunately, he got stuck with that pale, genius kid Orochimaru, too.
Jiraiya started calling Tsunade "Hime" after their first mission as genin just to annoy her. He did not know then how much the nickname would come to mean to both of them.
Jiraiya does not think Orochimaru is as bad as the other genin make him out to be. It's their fault if they don't learn to stay out of his way. They should know he's smarter than they'll ever be.
Jiraiya was jealous of Orochimaru up until they were fourteen. But then Tsunade told him he was a much kinder person than Orochimaru would ever be and somehow, the jealousy started subsiding after that.
To this day, Jiraiya regrets laughing when a seventeen year old Orochimaru tried to discuss the possible ways of eliminating death. He wishes he had paid more attention, tried to explain to his friend how death was not the worst thing to happen to someone… He wishes he hadn't just shook his head and told his teammate off for being an idiot.
Tsunade is not the most beautiful woman Jiraiya has ever seen.
She is, however, the only woman he wants to see over and over again.
When the three of them were fighting in Ame, Jiraiya was more worried about Tsunade's safety than his own. He didn't know why or how, he just knew he couldn't let anything happen to her. It simply wasn't an option.
From that day onwards, Jiraiya privately started calling Tsunade his Hime.
Jiraiya's first book, The Tale of a Gutsy Ninja, was a total flop. No one showed up at the signing and Jiraiya doubts anyone other than his student Minato ever bought a copy.
In the odd twenty years when Tsunade was away from Konoha and no one knew where she was, Jiraiya knew. He knew because he kept track of her no matter how many years went by.
A not-very-small part of Jiraiya still hates himself for not trying harder to get Orochimaru back. No matter what everyone says, he cannot help but think he's failed as a friend and comrade.
Jiraiya did not want to take care of another orphan, because he failed the first time. That is why he turned Kushina down when she brought baby Naruto to him after Minato's death. He still holds himself responsible for her death soon after.
Jiraiya has slept with a lot of women. But sadly, the only one he wanted to sleep with, he could never gather the courage to ask. After all, a princess needed a prince, and he was far from one.
Naruto looks more and more like his father every day. Jiraiya wishes he could tell his student that, but he knows he can't.
Jiraiya loves the fact that Naruto calls his Hime "Baa-chan". And as angry as she might seem at the address, he also knows she likes it.
Jiraiya used to wish he could tell Tsunade how he felt about her. But before leaving for Ame, as he saw the tears in her eyes when she thought he was gone, he got the feeling she somehow knew.
Jiraiya's last coherent thought as he left this world was that it was up to Naruto now to protect his Baa-chan… And the world, but more importantly, his Hime…
His Hime... Always his… Hime…