This is my take on how the night before entering Omega 4 relay in ME2 might have gone. No sitting on lap, or cuddling with all clothes on. And this time, Garrus did his reseach about human reproduction ;-)

(Note 4.3.2012: finally felt inspired to edit out some cussing that didn't feel like something Garrus would do. I hope y'all appreciate my heroic efforts to improve this story :D)

"Come in, Garrus."

The door to the captain's cabin opened with a soft hiss. Garrus stepped in, feeling not unlike a cub leaving its mother's nest for the first time.

The room was warm and dim, and his visor chimed to life, calculating surfaces and distances, painting shapes – including hers – out of the half-darkness with familiar violet grids.

Comm. Jane Shepard - dist. 4.78m - 1.78 m, 68.2 kg, female human. Search?

He shut the blinking cursor off with a flick of his eye. The violet grids and calculations disappeared and only the light-enhancing capabilities of his visor remained on, painting out the same shapes with a more discreet blue pallor, now.

There she stood, arms across her chest, wearing the white and black Cerberus casual overalls that hugged her like a second skin. It was almost as if he had never before really seen her. Not like this. He registered her waist, narrow for a human female he knew, and her strong warrior's back - the muscular thighs and strange round buttocks, molded by endless hours of running in heavy N7 armor with thirty kilograms of weaponry on her back.

There weren't many human women that looked like her. Not really. At least not in the cringe-worthy vids Garrus had lately subjected himself to watching. She was a queen, a goddess of war. It was hard to imagine anyone touching her like the women in the vids had been touched.

Yet that was exactly what she had asked him to do.

"Come here, Garrus."

He obeyed. When had he not, with her?

Garrus descended the small stairs into her sleeping quarters, feeling clumsy and alien in this space created by humans. Even the steps were a bit too small for him - or his feet a bit too large. The great double bed took up most of the space, down here, neatly made in military fashion, but with delicate satin sheets that he knew would be destroyed if he ever tried sleeping on them.

Her head tilted, and the soft red mouth curved into a smile – an expression impossible for him, but familiar as hell. And he couldn't help but wonder what exactly it was that she saw in him. Why him, and not one of the maybe hundred human males on this human warship, or, well, the snake-smooth assassin, if she really was a xenophiliac like they said? It was hard to imagine her actually finding him attractive. She herself wasn't beautiful to him, not exactly, but – it was her. Jane Shepard. The woman who had shaped him. Made him what he was.

She had smiled like that when she first suggested that they try this. Lately, she had seemed to have found it more and more amusing to see him fluster and search for words in her presence. That gentle mockery had turned into something more, and lead them here, into this room. And he couldn't decide whether to stay, or to turn back and run like hell.

Her glossy, black hair was in its usual tight bun. Her slanted brown eyes watched him step closer. Proximity three meters. Two, now. Target armed, trained in combat. He flicked his visor warnings off. Did her eyes see through him, the lost feeling inside?

He closed the distance between them, and now she was near enough for his senses to pick up her body warmth, to react to it like a hand reacts to the feeling of soft fur. Even his hand, with its thick hide and hard, sharp talons... Would she hate it? How rough he would be against her skin? But this had been her idea. The responsibility should also be hers. Maybe it would be a catastrophe, and both of them would welcome tomorrow's

battle with the collectors, just to forget these horrible awkward moments –

But he didn't want it to be a catastrophe. He desperately wanted it to be something... not a catastrophe.

"How do you want me to call you, Shepard?" he asked, and even his voice was something strange and alien here, how it rumbled from his chest, deep and unhuman.

Again the crooked little smile. She removed her M-6 from its holster, placed it on a desk nerby.

"I find it sexy when you call me Commander." She placed her hands on her hips. He knew that a human male would have found her flaring nether regions attractive. He couldn't help wondering how anything would fit there, between those round, fleshy thighs of hers that kept rubbing against each other through the cloth.

"Commander it is, then," he said.

She reached up a slender, amber-colored, five-fingered hand, ran it down his chest, covered by standard uniform. "I wish I knew more about you, Garrus." He suppressed a shudder at her touch. Did that hand, that slender wrist really have the strength to carry a rifle, a grenade launcher even? "There are adrenaline shots on the night stand, and I know you prefer to be warm, so I increased the temperature." Again that crook of her lip. But it wasn't directed at him. She was mocking herself, instead, he realised, and relaxed a little. She wasn't trying to make him uncomfortable. Hell, this was Shepard. A little trust, was that too much to ask?

That hand... Reaching for his face, now. He felt a rush of embarrasment and grabbed her fingers in his talons. Too early... It was too early, he had to be able to think, to not let her have the upper hand in everything.

"Well... I've done my share of research, Commander. I hope it is enough."

Her teeth glittered in the dim light of the cabin as she smiled. They were very white and even and strange between her soft red human lips. He recalled humans were omnivorous, and flicked his tongue over his own sharp fangs.

"You have? And what did you think of our human ways, Garrus?"

"I found them... Strange. My kind, we are not so... gentle with each other."

"Gentle? Pardon me but have we watched the same holos?"

Why did she laugh? Were those vids not representative of how her species had sex?

"So, do you think we two will be able to..?"

"Commander, our species are, uh, compatible in some ways at least. We have... certain parts in similar places... And, well, I've already told that I'm willing to give it a – umm – to try. If that's what you want. And it seems to be, although why... that's hard for me to understand."

Her pale, narrow fingers curled around his talons.

"Is it impossible to think that I could actually find you attractive, Garrus?"

"Ahh... I suppose not, but... Commander, do you think this is a good idea? I might end up hurting you, or -"

"Garrus, I like many things about you," she said and closed her eyes. "Like... your voice. I could listen to you read those bloody firing algorithms of yours and it would be like sex." She smirked. "Well... almost."

Suddenly it was impossible for him to speak.

He had forgotten her other hand. There it was, on his face – and he couldn't help reacting to the touch – and she saw it, too, the way he flared out to press against her fingers. Her hand tracked the ugly scars on the right side of his face, the edge of the metal plate that had been installed to replace the part of his head that had been blown off by the merc gunship on Omega. A deep purr rose from his chest. He tried to suppress it, knowing it would sound alien and animalistic to her.

"You like this, Garrus?"


"The things I don't know about turians," she laughed. "Your mandibles are actually an erogenous zone. And you purr! How convenient." The soft female sound caught in her throat as he grabbed her and pulled her against him.

Soft. So soft. And yet, so strong. He inhaled her presence, her warmth and strength, and from her scent he knew she was opening up to him. Control yourself, you goddamn fool...

"Wait... wait." She lifted her hands to her hair, pulled at things, and the black pelt cascaded down her back, soft as everything in her – well, compared to him, at least. She was all smooth, long muscle, soft breasts and that strange round ass under the standard issue cloth, black hair and deep brown eyes, so unlike his. They were big and eloquent in her warm-colored face, so expressive it seemed almost comical to him.

"I like your hair," he said, running his talons through it. "It is like silk... I didn't know there's so much of it. Why do you always keep it up?"

"Well, it's not very convenient, for a marine. You either cut it off, or tie it up." Again that maddening flash of teeth. She was stroking his face again. Garrus purred and ran his talons down her back, to her round, firm bottom. He squeezed and her smile grew wider. How strange that humans found it erotic when someone was touching their bottom cushions.

"Well, don't cut your hair, Commander. Because I like it."

"You're like a big cat, Garrus. I just need to find the spots that make you purr."

"Commander," he gasped against her small round ear. "Commander, I..."

"We're going to do this, right? Don't tell me I'm making a fool of myself, Garrus. You're not just humoring me because I'm your commanding officer?"

"No. I want to do it, Shepard."

"Then help me out of these clothes."

The overalls, and then the tank top and small white pants beneath slid off her like a breath. A minute, or half, and she was standing there, all honey-colored skin and human and so... different than him.

"So... What do you think?" Was there the barest hint of uncertainty to her voice, right there? In Jane Shepard, of all people – the most sexually assured person he'd ever met? Did she actually imagine he could find her repulsive? He pulled her close again.

"I've never had a thing for humans, Commander," he whispered against her neck. "But I definitely have a thing for you."

She let out a breathless laugh. "I'm at a disadvantage here, Garrus."

"Yes..." Her fingers found the fastenings of his coat and opened it, and now her hands were on his skin, and tracked the scales that covered his chest and back. He yanked at the coat impatiently and threw it aside, and kicked his boots off, and pulled her close... and almost stumbled, trying not to step on her fragile, bare, tiny feet. God, he would have to be more careful or he would hurt her, bad – he could hear his claws make small nasty sounds against the floor and knew somebody would find some really ugly scratches there the next day.

She raised her hands and removed his visor. It chimed off, and he blinked in the half darkness, seeing her with his natural sight for the first time. Her skin seemed to shimmer in the soft, blue light from her great aquarium, empty because she never remembered to feed her bloody fish.

She pressed against him, and frowned. "You said we're similar down there, but where's your..?"

The purr died. Garrus cleared his throat. "Umm... Ahh... The radiation on our home planet... It's all hidden if I'm not... uh... really aroused... Don't laugh, Shepard!"

She was grinning so widely now that surely her face must hurt.

"I can't kiss you, Commander," he said. "I would like to... But it's not possible for me."

She pulled his head down by his neck and rested her smooth forehead against his scaled one, and smiled. "Kissing is nice, Garrus, but I don't mind. What would you do with a female of your own species?"

"Oh." He chuckled, feeling lost. "I don't... I don't think you'd want that. You're not... armored enough."

She seemed almost insulted. "What? Tell me!"

"Well... I would compliment her waist... and she would compliment my fringe. Then we would throw each other around a bit. Then we would... well... have sex. The fighting would probably take about half an hour and wreck this room, and half the ship would wonder what the hell the screaming is about. Then the actual sex might take about two minutes. But we would do it ten or twenty times before morning."

She raised a regal black eyebrow. "So... You have a plan b for this human weakling, then?"

"I thought I might... Try something else."


They said she was tall for a human female, but she didn't seem to weigh much to him as he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed, claws clicking against the floor. The bed creaked beneath their combined weight. She laughed, but her laughter died as he pressed against her, nuzzled his face against hers, and she shivered as he drew his talons down her body.

"Garrus, what are you -"

"You must tell me if you find anything I do unpleasant."

He pushed her against the bed and licked her throat, and felt her tremble all over. "Oh..."

His mandibles shook in amusement. "Commander?"

"God, your tongue... It's like a cat's. I didn't know..."

He had no idea what a cat was, but apparently not anything she found repulsive. Suddenly he realised that he was not the only one on strange ground, here, that it would be just as different and new to her as it was to him.

"It wouldn't do much for a female of my own species," he breathed against her shoulder, feeling his own voice resonate in his chest – and why was he suddenly so aware of himself and his own voice, anyway?

"I thought it might be different for you, Commander."

"Good god." She swallowed. "I - I like it. To say the least."

Her breasts – once again something strange and new to him – were round and soft, so soft under his hand. In the vids, human women seemed to like it when they were touched there. He teased her right breast with his tongue and saw its center contract into a tight little nipple.

"Interesting," he mused, not realising he had said it aloud before he felt her laugh, breathlessly, with almost no sound rising from her throat.

"We descendants of apes are like that." Her voice was unbelievably mellow. Was this the same voice which for years had barked commands at her teammates? It grew unfamiliar now – he could hear she was struggling to control it. "All interesting reactions. To touch, anyway."

He licked her other breast into similar attention, and she did not try to speak any more, but he could hear it was a good kind of silence, with her breathing hard and trembling against his hands and mouth. He licked his way across her flat, smoothly muscled abdomen, and lower, his mandibles searching her with feathery touches. How annoying he couldn't really control what they did because it was all reaction, now – down there, he knew human women had a spot there that was especially sensitive to touch, and he was not quite sure how to go about it but – he licked the inside of her thigh, and bit it very gently, careful not to break the soft, tender skin with his teeth, and she moaned, opening her legs to him in blatant invitation, and that must be a good sign, yes?

"Garrus, if you're going to do it -"

Oh hell, here it went -

He touched the spot with his tongue and her back arched and she let out a shuddering, broken sound, not unlike someone might make in great pain.

"Commander, are you all right?" he asked.

"Oh god – won't you – won't you get sick if you do that?"

A chuckle escaped his throat. "You mentioned you have adrenaline shots ready? Although I would prefer not to need them."

"Don't stop, then -"

He had thought it might be disgusting or repulsive but it wasn't – she was hot and moist and very, very human down there, all convenient self-lubrication and inviting warm flesh, so unlike his own species – turian females could, at best, be called like fortresses between their legs, with their natural armor only baring what absolutely must to allow for intercourse.

And it wasn't at all unpleasant to him, either, how her fingers groped blindly at his head crest, and how her strong smooth legs wrapped themselves across his back, and how she shuddered and called his name, almost sobbing when he learned the geography of her sex. He held her hips by her thighs and played with her, quickly learning what to do to make her moan louder and louder, and what was either too little or too much.

She came eventually, her whole body tensing up and shuddering rhythmically time after another, sounds of pleasure turning into helpless whimpers as he rode her with his mouth until it was over, and her legs relaxed.

"Oh, god... That was..."

"What, Commander?" he heard himself ask. It had actually been quite arousing, how she arched and reacted to him, and was so open to all he did, so sincere about what she felt... Had she been like this with Liara? he thought, and ground his teeth, why did he have to remember the asari, now –

He bit her thigh, gently, to remind himself that it was him here, now, with her. Gradually she relaxed, her pliant long body growing even softer if possible, trembling now and then with aftershocks of her orgasm.

"That was... amazing, Garrus," she said. "God, I had no idea..."

He couldn't help feeling a bit smug. "Better than with a human?"

"Oh lord, yes."

He extricated himself from her limbs and climbed her body like a vine, nudged his face against her silk-smooth skin and tasted it with his tongue, whispered against it with his mandibles – a turian female would barely feel it but she shivered each time, and it was quite nice to get a reaction for even the smallest touch.

"What do you want to do, Garrus?"

"I'm – I'm not sure, Commander. You are so... soft... and breakable... I don't want to hurt you."

"What would you do with a turian female?"

Images flashed through his mind, then, ones that would be impossible to repeat with her, at least he thought so – and he shuddered and realised he was far too gone to be all gentle with her any more. "I would – I would turn her, like this," and he did, turning her back toward him, feeling her surprise as he yanked her to her knees. She grabbed the bed's headboard and, with what seemed like an instinct, braced herself against it as he leaned into her from behind.

His talons fumbled at his trousers and somehow he managed to get them open, and felt the cabin's warm air against his skin – and he leaned into her and spoke into her ear, let her have his voice since she said she liked it – "And I would take her from behind so she can't bite me –"

He entered her, knowing only from the disgusting vids where, and she cried out and pushed against him in response. Was it different for her, he wondered, since he sure as hell could say it as different for him – she was much softer than he was used to, warm and wet, but tight, gods so tight –

But it was not too different – they were actually of compatible size and shape, although he knew it would become inconvenient later, but maybe she didn't – and, oh gods, she was tight and warm –

He grabbed her hair, finding a purpose for it, to keep her in place as he thrust into her.

"I would... restrain her... so she can't claw me –"

"Garrus – oh fuck –"

The soft curve of her neck was there, so close, and smelled of clean human sweat... prey smell. He couldn't help himself. Purring deep from his chest, he bit into it, like he would bite down on a female of his own species when mating. His left arm curled around her waist, and his mandibles searched for purchase against her skin, out of instinct expecting to find the edges of hard scales there, but of course there were no scales, just warm smooth human skin. He bit down harder in his mounting pleasure, not knowing if he was purring or growling any more, and fucked her –

He stopped for a moment, to push against the bed with his feet, still biting her neck and purring more loudly, now, and felt the sheets tear beneath his claws. She squirmed and pleaded, pushed against him.

"Garrus, please..."

A deep growl rose from his chest in response. He started to move again, and it was strange, but arousing all the same, her rounds buttocks, her pleading sounds. He was losing it fast now, she was becoming tighter and tighter, and he knew he couldn't resist pressure much longer – and then she was coming again, contracting around his cock unlike any turian would, gods, what a strange feeling – and he couldn't help it, he came, with a sound like the deep rumble of earth from within his chest, and pulsed to the rhythm of his heartbeat as he spilled into her.

His legs folded beneath him and he sat down, to lean against the headboard, and pulled her into his lap. She leaned back against him, panting like she had been running, and weakly pushed at strands of hair that were sticking into her sweaty face.

"Jesus, Vakarian..."

Suddenly he realised there was the tang of alien blood in his mouth. He grabbed her by the shoulder, pulled her hair aside to see the row of ugly, bleeding puncture marks of his teeth.


"Garrus?" She seemed almost unnaturally drowsy in her post-orgasmic state.

He tried to exctricate himself, but of course he couldn't, his swollen member was stuck inside her, now, and he would hurt both of them trying to get out. Embarrassment flushed over him like a hot wave. "Commander, I – I'm stuck for a while, here." He cringed at noticing more marks on her flesh - her arm was bruised and his mandibles had left big blue spots across her back, their touch actually strong enough to hurt, in the end. And the bed was a total mess, its fluffy innards flying everywhere from the gashes his claws had made.


"Garrus, I'm a big girl," she said. "I'm not going to break if you bite me a little."

He clenched his teeth. "I didn't just bite you a little. I mutilated you, Commander. You're bleeding."

"Relax, soldier," she almost mumbled, and nuzzled her back against his chest. "I like it rough sometimes. I have medi-gel if it's that bad. Come on, it's all right."

He found tissues from the night stand and wiped the blood off her shoulder, at least. There was less of it than he'd thought. Still, her back seemed like someone had unleashed a varren on her.

"It's going to take about five minutes before I can pull out," he said, still mortified. "It's – it's a thing that happens to the males of my species. I wasn't sure if it would happen with a human."

"So you guys are like dogs," she chuckled. "Sorry. Don't worry. Just lie there and hold me until it's over. It doesn't hurt."

He pulled the mutilated sheets over them, and did. And what the hell was a dog, anyway? She had compared him to a falcon, and a cat, and now a dog. It seemed he still had some research to do about Earth.

"Is it terribly uncomfortable, Commander?" he asked.

"No... it just feels strange. Full. And the funniest thing is... I can feel your heartbeat. And it's irregular."

He leaned back against the pillows and sighed in exasperation.

Her fingers tracked the edges of the scales on his arm. Against his will it made him shiver with pleasure. Her lovely amber skin was covered by a thin sheen of sweat, and she smelled different than before, all musky, but not unpleasant – did all human women smell like this after sex, or just her?

He felt his mind start to drift. His talons stroked her smooth thighs and belly, and he was starting to realise that he could get used to this, to not having that extra layer of scales and hide between him and her. He pulled her even closer to him and purred, not caring anymore that she might find it too weird. Tired, so tired, falling asleep now - he would wake up soon, maybe take her again if she wanted, and trying to be more gentle this time... He didn't even know how many times humans did it, hopefully not only once..?

"Garrus... I think I'm in love with you," she said. And he was wide awake again and energetically banged his fringe against the wall.

"Goddamn!" He held his head, moaned in pain. "What? Shepard? What did you say?"

"I said I'm in love with you, Garrus."

Shit. She wasn't teasing. She was actually serious. He rubbed his eyes.

"Hell, Shepard, that's just the sex talking." His voice grew harsh. "You don't love me. You love doctor T'Soni. I'm just... a diversion. An amazing diversion, maybe, based on how you reacted, but –"

"No! You stupid turian bastard, don't dare to joke now." Shepard couldn't turn toward him yet, but he saw her face tighten, was she fighting back something? "I died. And came back. That makes you think what you actually want from life. And then, when I found you again, you almost had your head blown off within half an hour. I swore to myself right then and there that, if there was any chance you don't find me completely disgusting, I would find a way for this to happen... And we both know now how it went, so I'm even more sure that -"

"Commander, you're just confused because –" But he was too lost for words to finish. Something started to grow inside him, a realisation. Why he had reacted the way he did when she died... Why he had sought death, only to bring it to those around him. After her death, he had built a whole life around her memory, a ruthless and bloody life perhaps, but not one without honor or its own kind of beauty –

And now she was here again. Rebuilt by Cerberus, to save the world one more time. And she would. Hell, she was always about doing what's right. Unlike him. Did she know what was right, this time, as well? Know it better than him?

"Yeah, yeah. I'm human, and you're turian, and there's a rift between those two the size of a sovereign." Some bitter memory seemed to surface, to come and go in her voice. "You made that clear enough. It was always there... Written all over your face... And you kept me at arms length, practically drove me to Liara, and talked about respect. Bloody respect. I respected you all right, you insensitive prick."

She had been so close, but now she was receding again, and suddenly he realised that he didn't want it to happen, to lose whatever it was that had just started to emerge between them.

"I don't want to be just friends with benefits," he heard her say. "The sex was amazing, against all odds I might add, but I've lived without sex for years and years. So, if that's all it's going to be, tell me now and we can end this. Because I'm too fucking old to have my heart broken."

Shepard, in love with him? He felt unreal. Was love even the same thing for humans as it was for his kind? Or was it just something lost in translation?

What if it wasn't? Didn't most known hormone-driven species have same kind of feelings of attachment toward each other?

"I'm not... I don't –" His mandibles moved in bewilderment as he grasped futilely at words. "I didn't mean it like that. You flirted with everybody, Shepard. And you are my commanding officer. It wasn't... uh... simple enough. Forgive me. I like to keep things simple."

"Garrus, I don't expect you to love me back," she said. She took his hand and examined it with her own like it was something strange and out of this world. Maybe it was, to her, with his sharp talons and only three fingers? "Either of us can be dead tomorrow. I might see you die. Or you might see me die. And Cerberus won't be there to bring us back."

"Shepard," he heard himself say, and buried his face in her hair, damn it smelled nice - and his voice became even deeper than usually. She had a thing for his voice, was it why she now shivered against him, as he spoke. "Yeah, the sex was amazing but - I already said I don't have a fetish for humans. I have a thing for you. If I love anyone in this goddamn galaxy, it's you."

She was silent for a long while, then laughed softly. "Now if you die tomorrow, Mr Vakarian, I'm going to be very angry. You hear?"

"I hear you, Shepard." She was moving, feeling that he was not stuck in her any longer – and she was sitting with her face toward his, now. Her smooth, long limbs twined around him, and maybe turians might have been as soft if their sun hadn't gone all crazy once? No barriers. No fortresses of scale and hide, or bitter and unyielding honor, or rules meant to keep them apart, the whole damn system built around layers and layers of codes – it all felt so distant now, with her so close. Like he could finally, actually let it all go.

Had he really thought her ugly when they first met? She seemed quite beautiful to him, now.

"Jane," she said. "Whatever we are to each other outside this room, Garrus... Whatever happens... Within these walls at least, it's Jane."

And she rested her forehead against his, and was there.