Rated M for language.

When Worlds Collide

Eric Northman was sprawled in a huge couch, a look of misery on his face. He looked up without any real interest as a trio of young men sat down on the couch and the seats beside him. He smirked at them. "Shopping and women, eh?" There was a note of commiseration in his voice.

The biggest one grinned back. "Hell on earth." A look of masculine suffering passed between them.

The bronze-haired one merely sighed. "It isn't that bad."

"That's because you're already half girl yourself, Edward," the big one retorted.

Eric looked at the young man and had to agree. He was perfectly groomed and was extremely…well, the only word to describe him was pretty. But the three of them looked different, and Eric took a delicate sniff of the air.

They smelled different too. They smelled like vamps, or close enough anyway. Blue eyes narrowed as he studied them. Pale white skin, gold eyes – all of them, how weird was that? He took another sniff. Yes, definitely vampire-like. But vampires usually indulged in a bit of "let's whip them out and measure" when encountering an unknown of their own kind.

These did not.



Instead of predators, they approached him as if he was just another man sitting in a store waiting for his female to conclude her shopping expedition. Eric leaned in close and took an audible sniff. "Excuse me, but are you…vampire?"

The three of them looked stunned and the blonde one finally answered. "Yes. How did you know?"

"Eric Northman," Eric said. "Sherriff of Area Five."

"Sherriff?" the pretty one asked.

"You boys really should have let me know you were passing through," Eric chided softly. "Your own sheriff should have taught you better manners."

"Sorry," Jasper said. "We didn't know."

"We just got dragged along to do a little shopping on our way to Florida," the big one said. "I'm Emmett Cullen." He pointed to the blond. "That's my brother Jasper, and that's my sister – oops I mean my brother, Edward."

"Like that's not getting old," the pretty one snapped.

Emmett tilted his head and pretended to study the matter. "Nope, not old yet."

"Excuse him," Edward said. "He's still going through puberty."

Eric laughed at the trio, more amused than he had hoped to be at the start of the tortuous process. These strange vampires were intriguing, even if they were slightly…stupid. "So, you're here with your mates?" Eric asked to be polite, though in reality he was imagining what Sookie looked like standing in front of the mirror in nothing but that white silk thong he knew she was wearing.

"God yes," Edward sighed. "At least Bella doesn't like shopping as much as Alice does, but still…"

"Alice is mine," Jasper said with a hint of possessiveness. Eric smiled at him, fully approving of such a display.

"I'm here with my bonded human, Sookie," he explained.

"Rosalie's off drooling over some cars across the street," Emmett explained.

"Ah, a woman after my own heart," Eric said. "So, what do you plan on doing while you're here, besides shopping?"

"Well, we'll probably try and get some privacy," Edward said. "It's rather in short supply since we all share a home."

"You all share a nest?" It was not unheard of, of course. But usually a large number of vampires in the same nest made for an increase in cruelty. And these vampires seemed extraordinarily tame to Eric.

"A home," Jasper said. "We consider ourselves a family."

"Ah, you want to be able to get loud while you claim your mates," Eric said with an understanding grin. "I, too, like to yell."

Edward gaped at the huge blond vampire. "Excuse me, but what do you mean?"

Emmett snorted and even Jasper rolled his eyes.

Eric regarded the pretty vampire with disdain. "Come boy, you know…suck and fuck," Eric said with a suggestive roll of his hips. "It gets loud. I understand this. Any male worth his female will yell out as he claims her. It is expected." He shrugged.

"I heard that Eric Northman!" A soft sweet, Southern voice volleyed out of one of the dressing rooms. Jasper sat up in interest.

"Where is she from?" he asked, his own Southern drawl deepening.

"Louisiana," Eric replied tersely and then looked back at Edward. "What's the use of being a vampire if you can't play suck and fuck?" he asked in horror. "I'd have met the sun two days after I was made if that wasn't one of the perks."

"Met the sun?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, you know, met the sun, been incinerated, the final death," Eric replied.

"Uh, we don't burst into flames in the sun," Edward told him with a hint of superiority in his voice.

"So you can walk about during the day just like a human?" Eric was intrigued.

"Well, not exactly," Jasper conceded.

"Uh, yeah, we have to be careful," Edward added.

"Why? Do you just smoke a bit then?" Eric seemed amused by this image.

"No, well, we uh…we sparkle,' Edward said.

Eric gaped at him for a moment. "You sparkle?"

Edward and Jasper looked uncomfortable, but nodded.

Eric laughed. "That's just gay, as the humans would say."

"Hey!" Jasper protested.

"Besides, who wants to sparkle?" Eric pointed out. "I sleep during the day, as all self-respecting vampires do."

"We don't sleep," Emmett said with a note of longing in his voice.

"Ever?" Eric asked, clearly astonished.

"No," Edward replied. "Never."

Eric seemed bewildered by this. "Okay then." He shook his head. "In all my thousand years I've never heard anything so…so…"

"Magical?" Edward asked helpfully. "Amazing?"

"Boring," Eric disagreed. He looked at the trio of vampires. "I'd really suggest staying away from Louisiana. They like their vampires with fangs there." With that, he let his own extend and watched with satisfaction as three pairs of golden eyes grew wide.

"That's way cool," Emmett said. "I wish we had fangs." He nudged Jasper. "Why the hell don't we have fangs?"

"We've got venom," Edward reminded him helpfully.

"Oh yeah, that's so much cooler than fangs," Emmett muttered. "I want fangs," he added under his breath.

"By Odin," Eric said with a shake of his head. He hoped that humans did not know about these strange vampires, no one would ever fear a vamp again! They would soon start putting vampires in petting zoos to amuse human children.

"Are you a Viking?" Edward asked with interest.

"I've pillaged and raided with the best of them," Eric confirmed with a wicked leer.

Edward groaned. "Listen, do me a favor, would you? Don't tell Bella? Please. She's got a…thing for Vikings."

Eric shrugged, as if to say that was to be expected. Edward rolled his eyes.

"So how long have you been together?" Edward asked, just to be polite.

Smiling wickedly, Eric said softly, "Oh it took me a while to get my Sookie into bed." He looked at Edward. "She belonged to another, but he was not worthy of her. He is gone now."

"She's still human?" Jasper asked.

Eric sighed. "Yes, she is most stubborn on the issue." He shook his head. "I shall wait for her butt to start to sag and try again. She will be more open to the suggestion then."

Edward sighed. "Bella couldn't wait to be immortal," he confided.

"Yeah, but that was because she was dead clumsy as a human," Emmett suggested. "It was probably only a matter of time before she accidentally killed herself. For the best, really."

"So you're telling me that while you were…" He looked over in the direction of the fitting rooms. "While you made love to your Bella, you couldn't enjoy a little sip while you were buried in her?" He wriggled his eyebrows at the pretty vampire.

Edward looked uncomfortable but shook his head. "No, the venom would have turned her, and I didn't really want to-"

Eric leaned forward. "Are you sure you don't like boys?"

Emmett laughed and pointed and Edward. "I told you!"

Sighing deeply, Edward continued. "And besides, we waited until we were married to…uh…you know…uh…"

"Fuck?" Eric supplied helpfully.

"Eric Northman!" It was Sookie again.

"I'm sorry, my lover," Eric called out in a very sincere and loving voice, rolling his eyes as he did so.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, you big Viking," Sookie warned.

Eric laughed. "She does love to chastise me." He did not sound at all displeased by the notion. He turned back to Edward. "So, even after you were married you couldn't sink your fangs into her femoral artery while you made her scream out your name?"

"He was a virgin, so I doubt there was much screaming going on, unless it was 'Ouch! Ouch! You're on my hair!'" Emmett interjected.

"We don't have fangs," Edward reminded him , ignoring his brother.

A look of disdain came over Eric's face. "Then you're not really vampires," he said with great certainty, waving his hand in dismissal.

"Yes we are," Edward shot back.

"No fangs, no bursting into flames in the sunlight, and no suck and fuck?" He shook his head. "No, you're not a vampire."

"We're vampires," Edward insisted.

"All right then," Eric said, as if soothing a small, cranky child. "If you say so."

"So tell me, Mr. Northman," Jasper said. "How did you get to be a Vampire Sherriff?"

"Well, someone has to deal with the vampires and the humans and I'm the law here for our kind." He shrugged. "Our public relations people keep most of the unfortunate incidences under wraps, but every now and then…" He shrugged again. "So I deal with the law-breaker and the humans feel better that the big, bad vampire has been punished." Eric snorted. "They're so stupid."

"You mean…the humans know about us?" Jasper asked.

"They know about vampires," Eric said, clearly indicating that they were not to be considered true vampires.

"That's…incredible," Edward said.

"We came out of the coffin several years ago," Eric explained. "It's mostly just a few fanatics now who give us problems."

"Uh oh," Jasper said, shaking his head. "The Volturi are not going to be happy about this at all!"

"The Vol-what?" Eric asked.

"The Volturi," Edward explained. "They're the closest thing our world has to royalty. They enforce the laws."

"I am the law," Eric said, shaking his head.

Jasper and Edward shrugged. "They live in Italy and-"

Eric started laughing. "You expect me to be scared of a bunch of Romans?" He snorted. "They make nice suits…and shoes," he conceded. "But I'm not going to allow a bunch of Romans to tell me what to do." He snorted again at the very thought. "Besides, we have our own royalty. Every territory has a king or queen. And none of them are from Rome."

"Well, I guess we do things a little differently," Jasper said quietly. He shrugged.

"What prompted you to come out of the coffin, as you put it?" Edward asked curiously.

"The synthetic blood," Eric answered. "Vile, metallic tasting shit, but it serves in a pinch." He winked at the younger vampires. "Though I must confess that I prefer my blood warm from the vessel." The fangs extended once more. "Especially from my Sookie."

"We only hunt animals," Edward said, a note of longing in his voice.

"Yes," Jasper agreed. "But I remember…" He shook his head. "Never mind."

"I wish we had fangs," Emmett muttered once more.

To be continued….