I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.
Eric studied the strange group of golden-eyed vampires. He gave them a slight smile to show his lack of aggressive intentions and they all gave him a nod of acknowledgement. "Well now," Eric said. "I feel as if it is my duty, as the Sherriff of this Area, to invite you all to my home for the evening."
The big one grinned widely. "That would be awesome!"
The blond vampire was more circumspect in his approval, but he smiled and nodded. Emmett nudged Edward and said, "Do you think they'll have a Viking orgy?"
"I think that was the Romans," Edward replied tersely.
"We Vikings have been known to indulge in a bit of sexual excess," Eric noted modestly, thinking about having Sookie dress up as a slave. He would conquer her and have his way with her on a huge trestle table. Yes, that would be a fine way to spend a night.
"Yes, well…" Edward heaved a long suffering sigh.
Emmett grinned at Eric. "Our boy here needs to loosen up. We'd hoped that finally getting cherry popped would do the job, but he still seems to have that stick up his ass."
"You're not funny, Emmett," Edward snapped.
"Oh I think I am," Emmett said. Just then a gorgeous blond sauntered into the shop and Eric sat up and took notice automatically. Like any male creature, he preened a bit for her approval. He would never betray Sookie, but it was only natural to seek the approval of the female. That urge was wired into him. The blond gave him a flirtatious smile before she fell into the lap of the big one.
Emmett licked at his mate's neck and then pretended to bite her. "Hey!" she cried out and smacked him in the chest. "Watch those teeth buddy! That shit stings!"
Making a pouty face, Emmett pointed at Eric. "He's got fangs. How unfair is that shit?"
Rose looked at Eric with more interest. "Is that so?"
Eric grinned widely at her and let his fangs descend. She looked suitably impressed. "Well, well…" she murmured. She had a speculative look on her beautiful face.
Just then Sookie emerged from the dressing room. "What do you think of this one, Eric?" She turned around, showing off her curvy figure which was enhanced by the snug, white dress.
Eric's fangs flashed once more and he nodded his approval. Sookie gave him a pleased grin and then looked at his companions. "Did I hear y'all say you were traveling through?"
"Yes, ma'am," Edward answered politely. He tilted his head. "Odd…I can't hear your thoughts." He glanced at Eric. "Or yours either."
Sookie laughed and shook her head. "Well, I should hope not. You probably wouldn't want a peek into my Viking's mind." Then she sat down in Eric's lap, much like Rosalie had done with Emmett. "Don't worry, I can't read your minds either. My little talent doesn't seem to work with vampires." She swatted Eric on the chest as his hand roamed up her thigh and disappeared beneath the short white skirt. "Which is probably a good thing or I'd be tempted to stake Mr. Northman here."
Eric nibbled at her neck, still showing off his fangs. Emmett's mood grew more morose and he began openly sulking. Then Bella came out of the dressing room, tugging at the skirt of a simple cotton dress. "I don't know," she muttered. "What do you think, Edward?"
He got to his feet and took her hands in his. "You look lovely as always, my love."
Bella turned and looked at her back in the mirror. "Is it too…Alice?"
"No, dearest, it's perfectly you," Edward assured her.
Eric nudged Emmett. "How did he convince someone to actually become his mate?" He was genuinely curious. The pretty one seemed much too tame to have lasted long as a vamp. The weak died young, embracing the final death soon after the temporary one.
Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You mean the silly little human?" She looked at Sookie. "No offense, but really, Bella is a pain, even for a human." Then she grinned. "Now that she's one of us, she's a lot more fun. More durable anyway." Rose smirked. "Though you'd never know it by how she acts sometimes."
Edward threw a sharp glance at Rosalie while Bella just rolled her eyes. Rose shrugged. "What? You know I'm right. Who else would get involved with vampires and werewolves and still be afraid of fast cars?"
"Wolves, huh?" Eric said. "Yes, we have experienced some difficulties with the shifters ourselves."
"They're not all bad," Sookie scolded.
Eric sighed and nodded reluctantly. "I suppose."
"We have a treaty with the pack," Jasper said. "We allied with them to fight off some rogue vampires."
"Rogues?" Eric looked interested, mostly because he was. He had always enjoyed a good, bloody battle. Next to sex, it was his favorite pastime.
"We killed them," Emmett noted with satisfaction. "All ashes now." He sighed fondly at the memory. "It was really wild."
Rose smirked. "Yeah, it was kind of cool ripping their heads off and shit."
Edward was pulling Bella toward them. "Enough," he said. He didn't like to talk about the wolves or the battle or anything else from that time.
Emmett snorted. "Edward still gets his panties in a wad when you talk about the wolves."
"Do not," Edward muttered.
"Oh yes you do," Jasper countered, smiling as Alice skipped out of the dressing room with a dozen dresses piled up in her arms. She shoved them onto the couch and settled into Jasper's lap.
"You do, Edward, you know you do," Alice agreed. She looked at Eric and smiled widely. "See, a wolf had had his eyes on Bella forever and then he kissed her to try and convince her to choose him instead of Edward."
"How did the pack react when you killed him for this transgression?" Eric asked Edward.
Edward pursed his lips and frowned. "Uh…I kept the treaty," he said.
Eric looked at Emmett for confirmation. "He let him go, told him he'd let Bella make her own choice," Emmett explained, looking rather shamefaced.
Eric stared at Edward. "Your nest mate jests, surely?"
"Uh no, I mean, I couldn't kill him just because he kissed her." Edward looked at Bella uncomfortably.
"Why?" Eric pressed.
"Because that wouldn't right," Edward answered earnestly.
"You can't take a life for a kiss," Edward argued. He sounded genuinely offended at the idea.
"Why not?" Eric seemed genuinely confused. "It is how it's done. He touched what was yours and you must teach him a lesson." The Viking shrugged. "It is his fault if that lesson is fatal." He sighed. "These things happen."
"I broke my hand when I hit him," Bella offered and Eric gave her an approving smile.
"Your mate understands," Eric murmured. "Such trespasses cannot be forgiven or they will be repeated." He shrugged again. "If the wolf starts sniffing around your mate again, you will have no one to blame but yourself. You should have ripped his balls from his body and then fed them to him nice and slowly before you bit his head off." He looked at Sookie and tucked a bright strand of hair behind her ear. "It's what I would have done if anything dared to touch my bonded human after I let it be known that she was mine."
"That's not how our family handles these things," Edward insisted.
"It's how I would have done if that dog touched my Rosie," Emmett bragged. "Ripped those furry balls right off his body. I might have even sautéed them before I fed them to him."
Rose giggled and whispered something naughty in Emmett's ear in approval. "You really know the way to a girl's heart," she said. "And into her panties…" Then she licked his ear.
Edward groaned. "Really, Rosalie, such behavior is hardly appropriate."
Rose rolled her eyes and looked at Bella over her shoulder. "Would you please go blow Edward in the dressing room and then see if you can get that stick out of his ass while you're playing around down there?"
Bella looked as if she might have been happy to help but Edward pouted and sat down in a chair. Bella sat on his lap and tried to kiss him, but he just frowned and continued sulking.
"I told you he was gay," Emmett whispered loudly to Rose.
Alice giggled and wrapped her arms around Jasper's neck. "Not my Jazz," she told everyone. "Unless I want to be the Oreo filling…"
Edward groaned loudly. "Really, Alice? Do you have to subject me to your lurid sexual interludes?"
Eric looked at Alice. Lurid sexual interludes? He mouthed the words and Alice just rolled her eyes. Jasper winked at Eric and licked his lips. Eric was not opposed to same gender encounters, but he would most definitely want to include his Sookie. He looked at Sookie, whose gaze was locked on the Southern gentleman vampire and decided that maybe it would be better to just stick with Sookie. Alone. The three of them would definitely be too much blond.
"Well, are you ladies done shopping?" Eric asked. What he really wanted was to play suck and fuck with his Sookie and these vampires were just too strange for his tastes. "You could come to my house for the evening. Though I must be resting before dawn." He hated the fact that he had made the invitation, but there was nothing to be done about it now.
"I'm all done," Bella answered, hopping to her feet. "Let me go change into my clothes so we can pay for this."
Alice got up too and picked up the pile of clothing and handed it to Jasper. "Here, baby, take care of this for me." Jasper looked at the mountain of clothing and sighed.
"It's a good thing we've got an eternity to gather a fortune because that girl could shop Bill Gates into the poor house."
Rose leaned in and licked Emmett's ear again. "I saw a sweet ride over there baby. What do you say we go buy it and then you can ride me in the back seat?" She batted her eyelashes at Eric. "We might be just a little late."
Emmett growled his agreement. Edward just looked pain. Sookie held out her hand to Edward. "Aw, that's no problem. It'll take me a bit to get ready anyway." She looked at Eric. "Unlike some of you, I have to eat real food."
"Ah yes, a human moment," Edward murmured. "I miss those," he said quietly.
Bella rolled her eyes and nudged him. "Get over it. I'm one of you now."
"Yes, dear," Edward replied politely.
Eric gave the blond vamp his address, sort of hoping that they would not show up. He really wanted to spread Sookie out on the table and ravish her. He wanted to tie her up and listen to her cries for mercy. Yes, that was a proper way for a vampire to spend an evening. He had a feeling the pretty one would be quoting poetry to his mate.
Sookie stared after the six strange vampires. "They're…different," she finally said.
"You have no idea," Eric muttered.
A pause. "Are you sure the pretty male prefers females?"
"So he says," Eric said dryly.
Sookie shook her head. "Whatever, come on my big Viking, let's get you home so you can worship at my feet…and a little higher too, you and your fangs and your gracious plenty…" Sookie laughed. "Before our company arrives."
They heard Bella gasp. "He's a Viking? And he's got fangs?" She whirled around and studied Eric with new interest.
"I told you fangs were chick magnets," Emmett said as he nudged Jasper.
Bella stopped and looked at Edward with narrowed eyes. "Where can we get you some fangs?" She pursed her lips. "And one of those hats with horns?" Bella sighed. "I think I'd really like the fangs."
"That's what I'm saying," Emmett grumbled.