Summary: Mike just doesn't know when to quit.

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"Hey, Bella!"

I turned and inwardly groaned as I saw Mike darting towards me through the crowd. He bounded up to me. "What's up?" he said cheerfully, hoisting his backpack up higher. It had slipped on his journey.

"Not much" I said, forcing friendliness into my tone "just going to class."

"Me too!" he said, as if it wasn't the most obvious thing in the world. I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Well, we are in school" I said. He nodded quickly before glancing at what I was holding.

"What're you reading?" he said "Romeo and Juliet?"

"Yes" I said, looking down at the book cover "have you read it yet? It's on the reading list"

"No" he said "I'm too lazy. I haven't even picked it up!" he laughed. "Is it a favourite of yours?" he was suddenly very serious.

"Yes." I said, smiling "it always makes me cry"

"Really?" Mike said and he looked like he was thinking. That seemed kind of dangerous.

I forced a smile "well uh, I really have to go now Mike. See you later." I disappeared down a corridor and left Mike behind. "Oh. Okay. See you Bella!" he called and I felt bad for being so impatient with him. He was just being friendly. Although with Mike, there were always anterior motives – how anyone couldn't see that I was head over heels in love already astounded me. I think he thought he could win me over and be the Romeo to my Juliet. Unfortunately for him, he could only ever be Paris.

"You hurt Mike's feelings, you know" a voice said quietly in my ear as cold arms wrapped around my waist. I shivered in pleasure.

"Did I really? I tried so hard not too" I said, displeased with myself. I didn't like hurting people and no matter how much Mike annoyed me, I would never purposely hurt him.

"He'll get over it" Edward answered "once he's gone through with his, er... plan."

"What?" I stopped walking and pulled away to face Edward. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back so we were facing each other, hands held together loosely at our sides "what plan?"

Edward grinned a little "you'll see. Humour him, love, it's taken him a long time to think up such a... ingenious idea."

"Edward!" I scolded, really worried now. What did Mike plan to do? "He's not going to try and... kiss me or anything, is he?"

Edward's eyes blazed "not if he wants to still be walking tomorrow"

I smiled and bit my lip. Of course, I was overreacting. Edward would tell me if Mike was planning anything like that. He would never let it happen. But then again, he could only hear the plan Mike had now...

Later, at lunch, I sat opposite my omniscient best friend and looked at her very seriously. She looked up from the pages of Vogue and raised an eyebrow. "What do you want to know?"

"How did you –"Alice tapped her head knowingly.

"You keep changing your mind though" she said thoughtfully "you're not sure whether to ask because part of you doesn't want to know. Am I right?"

I nodded. "Edward said Mike was planning something. I think it's for tonight because he mentioned Mike not being able to walk tomorrow..."

Alice rolled her eyes "that sounds like him alright"

"I just want to know... what I'm up against."

"Bella" Alice laughed "this isn't the Volutri. It's Mike! What's the worst that can happen?"

"I don't know" I said seriously "but I don't want to be unprepared."

With an amused smile, Alice closed her eyes. She was silent for a few seconds before they opened and laughter escaped her lips.

"HA!"

People were staring at us. I sunk a little lower in my seat.

"What did you see?" I said anxiously "I don't want Edward to know I asked you"

"Oh, I'm sorry Bella but I'm with Edward on this one. You're going to just have to wait and see."

"Alice!" I said, pretending to be hurt "I never thought you'd do this to me"

"That won't work on me" she said with a smile, standing up and gathering her pile of fashion magazines "by the way; you might want to go to the window as soon as possible. Don't want to wake Charlie up now, do we!"

"What? Alice!" the pixie like vampire floated away. I slumped back in my chair with a huff. Stupid vampires.

--

I was lying on my bed, my forehead screwed up as I rubbed out an equation. Math was definitely not my strong point. I sighed and glanced at the clock. Edward wasn't here yet and it was almost 10. I rolled over and tucked the math book back into my bag and stood up, stretching. That's when I heard it. It was coming from my window and I moved slowly, pulling back the curtain cautiously. My window was at the side of the room, looking out at the next house. I flinched as a rock hit the glass in front of me and looked down.

"Oh no" I muttered, opening the already unlocked window that was waiting for Edward to arrive. I was going to kill him.

"Bella!" Mike yelled "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Bella is the sun!"

He was reciting Shakespeare. After throwing pebbles at my window. And he was dressed as Romeo.

Edward and Alice sure were lucky they were already dead.

My head fell into my palms as I tried to stay calm. I would save my anger for those who deserved it. Poor Mike. He really was deluded.

"See, how she rests her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"

"It's 'leans her cheek'!" I hissed through the window. Looking bashful, he bowed.

"She speaks! O, speak again, bright angel!"

"Mike! Get out of here!"

I could hear movement across the hall in Charlie's room. I pulled close the window and tugged the curtain into place, leaping into bed, surprisingly without injuring myself. The door opened and I held my breath as it closed again and I heard Charlie climb back into bed.

I went back to the window and he was still there. I sighed deeply. What was he going to do next?

My question was soon answered. Next to him lay a battery powered CD player.

"Oh no" I whispered to myself "Oh Mike, please..."

"There is no need to beg, fair maiden, your wish is my command." Not only was he still speaking like he'd just walked out of medieval England but he thought I wanted to hear him sing. The opening bars of Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You started and my head dropped onto the window frame. I looked out across the side of the house and noticed a bush moving. There wasn't a breeze. I had a feeling I was not the only one listening to Mike slaughtering a classic love song.

Sure enough, the big booming laugh of Emmett Cullen exploded into the night air as Mike broke into the chorus. Emmett fell out of the bush and Alice followed him. I suspected another vampire or two was concealed somewhere. I whispered, knowing he would hear even over Mike's screeching.

"Edward Cullen, I am never ever speaking to you again" I said grimly, gritting my teeth "or you, Alice!"

There was snickering beside me. A pair of ice cold arms wound themselves around my waist. "I'm sorry, Bella" he said, sounding incredibly amused "but that was one of the most amusing things I've seen in 108 years."

Mike's rendition of the song was still filling the air. I grimaced. "Make him stop?"

"Ah..." Edward said "I don't think I have to."

We both looked out and watched as Emmett joined Mike, throwing an arm around his shoulder and singing the second chorus with him. Mike jumped about two foot in the air as Emmett touched him and tripped backwards over the CD player. Edward buried his face in my hair as he tried to keep the laughter down. I covered my mouth with my hand and yelled down in a whisper to him. "Mike, are you okay?"

Struggling to his feet, he looked up bravely "of course my fair maiden!" then he turned to Emmett and stood with his fists raised. "My dear sir, I must defend my honour. I will not have this lady think that I cannot protect her!"

That was when I closed the window.