Here's a little foolishly foolish one-shot with Klavier and Franzy – NOT a pairing. Just an experiment to see what happens when the two are thrown together. Not tremendously funny but then again, I rarely am. Still, I try. Also a detox for lazyguy90 who was significantly disturbed by my other fic and needed this… haha. And a happy birthday present (-ish) to Pearls1990. Hope you enjoy!
Franziska: Foolish fool who foolishly randomly bought a foolish phone at the last foolish minute in a foolish auction! Finally, you finished this foolish piece of foolishly foolish fic! Fool!
Franziska: FOOL! State your foolish disclaimer!
Stormy: I own nothing. Most certainly not Miss High & Mighty's repetitive nature.
Franziska: YOU FOOOOL!
Franziska von Karma was surrounded by fools.
And worst of all, she'd been partnered with the biggest fool in the extensive law organisation; Klavier Gavin. Yes, Franziska had never imagined there could exist a bigger fool than Scruffy but she'd been proven wrong.
And Franziska von Karma did not like being proven wrong.
Additionally, she'd found something that annoyed her more than being proven wrong (which was no small feat) and he went by the name of Klavier Gavin.
She pulled on her whip as she marched down the hall, ignoring the crowds of people flinching away from her, as she focused on her destination. She was determined; today, if he said one word out of line, just one unnecessary comment, and she would let him feel the full force of her wrath. Today, she would show no mercy to the fool. Indeed, Ema Skye was correct in her approximation of the fool. The only problem Franziska saw with it was that it did not adequately describe the foolishness of the fool.
She reached his office very quickly and threw open the door, her eyes roaming the room. She found him leaning against the speaker he had the cheek to call a desk, smiling at Ema Skye who was hissing at him.
"I said no, Klavier! What part of that don't you get?!"
"You would prefer I pick you up at 8?" The fool smirked, playing with his fringe. "I can acquiesce to such a request. Anything for mein liebe."
"Agggghhhhhhhhh!!" Ema shrieked, stalking away from him. She pushed past Franziska who stared after Ema as she stormed down the hall before turning back to Klavier with a smirk of her own, expecting to see him devastated at the rejection only to find him head bowed and chuckling heartily. Franziska narrowed her eyes as she approached him.
"Love-sick fool," she snapped. "You would do well not to stain the sanctity of the Prosecutor's Office with your foolishly foolish shenanigans."
"Oh?" he focused his attention on her, leaning forward, and her eyes narrowed further at the amusement glittering there. "Is somebody jealous?"
She unleashed her whip, the resounding crack echoing in the room and she was vexed to see he didn't flinch. "Fool!" she said sharply, pointing at him. "Perfection envies nothing and no-one!"
"Hmm…" he smiled at her but his eyes seemed to take on a far-away look. Franziska pulled on her whip, her anger heightening. How dare he daydream in her presence? The foolishly foolish fool's fool was foolishly – "That would explain why Fräulein Skye does not envy any of the fans I flirt with."
Franziska blanched – just for a moment – before she let loose her whip again. He was still thinking about Ema Skye?? Men and women trembled in her presence, her proximity robbed them of their power of speech, unable to think of anything except how to escape her whipping and yet here he was, still dreaming away about the girl – Franziska approved of Ema Skye. She was not taken in by the fool's foolishly foolish flirtatious behaviour.
"Pay attention!" Franziska commanded pointing at him when he focused on her again. "I did not come to your office to torture my eyes with your love-sick look of foolishness. It would behoove you to give up. Ema Skye will never give you a chance!"
"And what makes you so certain?" Klavier asked, moving towards her with a smile.
"She is not foolish," Franziska stated with a smirk. "Nobody with a modicum of sense would exhaust any energy upon you."
"Ah…" Klavier nodded, indulgently, and she clenched her jaw. "Does shouting not class as exhausting energy?"
Her smile vanished in an instant to be replaced with a scowl and she was yanking on her whip again. She opened her mouth for a scathing reply when, uncharacteristically, she changed her mind. Knowing him, if she tried to exhaust her energy, he would assume she felt something for the fool and she would never let him run away with such a ridiculous –
"Based upon your comments so far," he said, breaking off her train of thought. "I would say that one could be quite easily forgiven for assuming that you are envious of the attention I pay to – "
It was as though her whip had a mind of its own (something she had always suspected but was certain of now); it flew through the air towards the fool and she waited in anticipation of the strike that would feed her the satisfaction she had craved ever since she laid eyes on him.
But it never came.
Instead, it was wrapped traitorously around his wrist and he was smirking at her. Instantly, he pulled and Franziska had a split second to decide on whether to let go or keep hold and collide with him. Unwilling to allow the sacred temple of her body to be tainted by his touch, she let go.
"Ah, ah!" he said, shaking a finger as he wrapped her whip around his other arm. "Violence from a prosecutor is a rather unseemly oxymoron, ja?"
"I demand you return that to me at once!" Franziska growled, pointing insolently in his face.
"Fräulein von Karma," he said, examining the whip interestedly. "I believe I have unearthed a very interesting possibility about you."
"Your puny mind could never begin to comprehend the genius of a von Karma," Franziska sneered. "Do not tax yourself."
"Ah maybe so," Klavier nodded, running his fingers along the length of the rope and Franziska's eyes narrowed suspiciously at his agreement and she crossed her arms. "But I do understand women." He looked at her suddenly, scanning her top to bottom. "A whip… Provocative clothes that hug your perfect frame…" Franziska's eyes flashed and she dug her fingers into her forearms to maintain control; "…and heels."
"Fool!" Franziska snapped. "You are making no sense!"
"Well…" A somewhat wolfish smile spread across his face as he fixed her with his eyes. "A domineering woman is nearly always into, ah… creative se – "
"If you finish that sentence, I will personally see to it that you have nothing left to be creative with," Franziska snarled. Instead of being afraid, Klavier began to laugh heartily.
"Achtung! I see I have hit upon a raw nerve, Fräulein!" he exclaimed.
Raw nerve huh? Franziska had had enough. Without a second thought, she turned and stalked over to his cabinet, one of which was conveniently open, and she pulled out of one his guitars off the wall. Turning back to him, she was pleased to see there was no trace of a smile hanging around his lips. Rather, a scowl was etched into the youthful planes of his face.
"May I ask what you mean by…" he trailed off in horror as Franziska raised the guitar above her head and glared at him.
"If you wish for this guitar to remain in one piece, you will return my whip to me at once!" she threatened.
"I will give you back your whip once you place my guitar back – "
"Ah, ah!" she said, wagging her finger at him infuriatingly in the same manner he had. "Let's not make demands when you know full well you are at a disadvantage. I can pulverize this instrument until it is nothing but a pile of splintered wood!" She smiled in satisfaction.
Klavier's face was thunderous as he yanked on the whip Franziska-style except he seemed to keep on stretching. "Oh? And what if I were to tear apart your precious instrument?" he demanded.
Franziska's eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare…!"
"Believe me, Fräulein Prosecutor," he said, his eyes flashing as his hands stretched the rope further apart. "There is nothing I will not do when my guitar is held hostage. Kindly place it back into the cabinet and step away from it slowly."
"I think not," Franziska scoffed. "You would not risk your instrument by – stop pulling on my whip you fool!!!!" She shrieked as he yanked on it particularly viciously.
He smirked. "Would you care to test that theory, Fräulein?"
Franziska raised the guitar higher above her head and she glared at him fiercely, relishing the look of panic on his face. She didn't care. She was going to smash this guitar until the fool cried tears of –
"Fräulein I am warning – "
"What is going on here?" Edgeworth's voice interrupted and the young prosecutors turned to look at him; one with a guitar raised high above her slender frame and the other, arms wide apart pulling on her whip. He was staring at them with a raised eyebrow, a questioning look in his eye. Slowly, his arms folded across his chest and he tapped a finger against his forearm, awaiting an explanation.
"I was interrupted by this blue-haired Dämonin – " Klavier started and Franziska's eyes flashed. She took a step forward with the guitar, her change of plan evident to Edgeworth whose voice rang out sharply;
"No, Franziska," he commanded. "A whip I can understand but I have no desire to prosecute you for assault and battery. Put the guitar down."
"Fool!" she hissed, turning to Edgeworth. Nevertheless, she lowered the guitar to the ground, keeping a firm grip on it. "Do not presume to tell me what to do!"
Edgeworth simply raised his eyebrow again and turned to Klavier who was glaring at her with intense dislike. "Mr Gavin." The young prosecutor looked at him. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"
"As I was saying, this demoness entered my office, tried to whip me and when I would not allow it, threatened to smash my guitar," he scowled. "I, of course, will allow no such thing."
"Put my whip down on the floor," she hissed. "Now."
"Put my guitar down first," Klavier said stubbornly.
Before Franziska could respond, Edgeworth cut across her; "Why don't you both put your hostages down and step away from them." When they looked ready to argue, he gave them both a stern glare. "Now."
Sulkily, eyeing each other with distrust, they set the whip and the guitar down, circling each other until they stood by their respective instruments. Instantly, they both jumped on them and lifted them off the floor and took a hasty step away from each other. Edgeworth rolled his eyes at their childish behaviour and at whoever's great idea it was to partner these two on a case. He made a mental note to rectify that horrendous mistake.
"Ridiculous fool!" Franziska said, cracking her whip and pointing at Klavier who was grinning at her now. "What have you to smile about?"
"Oh Fräulein," Klavier said, holding his guitar with one hand and playing with his hair with the other. "Those roses in your cheeks are for me, ja?"
Edgeworth coughed to cover the smile that was tugging at his lips. Franziska was indeed flushed but he rather believed it had more to do with anger than anything else. Quite suddenly she let her whip fly and it hit Klavier across the arm who yelped and jumped back a step, almost dropping his guitar. Franziska pulled her whip into a loop by her hip while smiling at him with pleasure.
"That is for being foolish enough to compete with a von Karma!"
"Indeed," Klavier glared. "I was charming to because you are a woman. Ich vergesse eigenartigerweise immer wieder, dass Sie mehr sind als bloß eine bezaubernde Frau."
Franziska would have retaliated but she was simply too delighted and so she smirked at him before turning around to walk away. Edgeworth watched the anger settle deeply in Klavier's face and groaned inwardly when he realised it wasn't the end.
"You are simply stung because I defeated Herr Wright where you could not!" Klavier taunted her. Franziska froze and Edgeworth closed his eyes in protest of this new fiasco that had begun.
"Foolish fool who dreams foolish dreams of defeating – "
"It was no dream," Klavier interrupted with a smirk. "Unless the world was dreaming with me."
"You cannot defeat a – " Franziska started what sounded suspiciously like a rant as she advanced on the rock star but Edgeworth, suspecting there would be a murder if he did not stop this now, grabbed his sister and pulled her backward.
"That's enough, both of you!" Edgeworth snapped.
"Silence fool!" Franziska snapped back, turning to him. Before he could say anything else, she whipped him before stalking away, out of the office. Edgeworth sighed, certain he had seen the ghost of a pout on her face and when he glanced at Klavier, he saw the same expression. Shaking his head, he turned to follow after her, deciding that along with a sound telling-off to whoever had set these two on a case, he would dock their wages – if he could.
Ich vergesse eigenartigerweise immer wieder, dass Sie mehr sind als bloß eine bezaubernde Frau – Then again, I keep forgetting that you are more than just a beautiful woman
Dämonin – demoness