"Something about the way

that you walked into my living room

Casually and confident lookin' at the mess I am

And still you, still you want me

Stress lines and cigarettes, politics and deficits

Paid bills and overages, screamin' and hollarin'

And still you, still you want me

Oh, I always let you down

You're shattered on the ground, Still I find you there

Next to me

And oh, stupid things I do

I'm far from good, it's true

Still I find you

Next to Me (next to me)"

Next to me - Imagine Dragons.

Chapter 41

I found Edward in his old room peeking outside through the ajar window.

"He's not coming," I told him as I clicked the door shut behind me and leaned against it trying to think of something else to say. Still, nothing came out of my mouth - a lump of tears was forming, and I was having a hard time containing them. How clueless and selfish could this family possibly be?

"I should have let him go to jail," Edward murmured as his finger slid down curtains, moving the cloth an inch to the side, trying to amplify his narrow line of sight outside. "On the long run, it would have been preferable," he sighed deeply. The silence stretched between us as I stared at his unmoving back. "Remember me again why we came today?" he mumbled mostly to himself.

"Alice," I whispered. "I think we keep coming for your sister."

"Even when it's apparent that she doesn't want us to come?" He hadn't moved from that spot since I came in, and I approached him from the back and hugged him. His back to me, and my hands embraced his stiff torso snugly.

"You'll have to learn that you can lean on me sometimes," I chastised him softly when I noticed he was getting tenser in my arms.

"On this occasion, I think you may fall down," he tried to tease. It was a bit of a comedic release as it was hard to keep his composure. I've been getting glimpses of the lonely boy inside. The one who grew cold deep within his isolation. His family was a beautiful, empty shell. Has there ever been love in his life? Sometimes I think I'm just another complication in his life.

"Even if that were the case, I think I could take a tumble."

"Maybe a tumble is what's needed today," he stated, with a devious glint in his eye as he turned around and pulled me up against him in a bruising kiss, moving away from the window.

"Later today, sure," I managed to say between kisses. "Not at your parents' house and preferably not with an open door."

"There's a lock in that door, and I could make us feel so good."

"Lunch in about five minutes," I warned, not really knowing how to respond. I didn't want him to feel rejected and add to the nasty feelings that must have been running inside him at that moment, but sex wasn't the solution.

"Bella, you're overthinking," he said as he picked me up to sit on the desk next to the window, kissing me thoroughly in the process and as he slid his hand up in my thigh, pulling my knee-length skirt to my waist. "I need you," he added as his hand moved my underwear to the side. Next, he slid a finger against my inner labia and rubbed in circles to gather some moist as his mouth moved down my neck and to my breast, still covered by my dress and bra. A mere few seconds later, he hitched my left leg over his shoulder and replaced his finger for his tongue. Somehow, I lost my balance in the process and ended up perched in my right elbow for some leverage as my left hand went to his hair, unsure if I wanted to push further against or away from me.

"oh," I said as words vanished from my head, and all the communication was nonverbal from then on. Finally, satisfied with my response, I sensed him shuffling with his zipper and touching himself while he was going down on me. Then, as I was about to come, urged on by his masturbation (he knew how much I loved to watch him pleasure himself), he stopped abruptly, stood up, and sat on the nearby chair.

"Sit on me, baby. I'm about to burst, and I'd rather do it inside you."

Entirely on automate, I clambered over him and rode him hard and fast. We came together amidst moans and rough tugs of clothes in about 30 seconds.

"That's it, baby, doesn't it feel good?" he asked, still hard inside me while I tried to refocus on his face as my vision was still blurred. "You're gripping me so tightly, fuck. That was amazing, thank you," he said earnestly, as he kissed my lips softly, all urgency gone. "I really needed this."

"You'll have to learn different ways of coping," I admonished, not truly angry at him because it had been good, as it always was with him, as I ran my fingers slowly through his head. He flexed his neck back, moving his head side to side, his eyes closed, savoring the intimate caress like a lazy cat. It amazed me how much he craved my touch. Even when he was driving, he'd take my hand from my lap and place it just behind his head, silently pleading for a massage. "You seem to really like that," I added absentmindedly and leaned for another kiss.

"I just find it so soothing." He exhaled deeply and opened his eyes; all the menace and fight were temporarily gone, replaced with something that looked a lot like acceptance mixed with a hint of sorrow. "You know what? As I was staring outside, I had an epiphany," he whispered in my ear as he inhaled deeply, savoring that sweet, endorphin-charged post-coital scent. "This is better than heroin," his nose was running along my clavicle in contentment, "but I digress…." I could listen to the smile in his voice. This was the Edward I loved so much – this tender man beneath the hard polished exterior. "You are my family now," he declared, looking straight into my eyes, his hands framing my face. I noticed his magnificent green eyes were still darker than usual in the aftermath of our shared passion, though they were lit from within with a clarity that stole my breath away. "It'll make all of this worthwhile. Finding you, having you goes against all odds. Those beautiful, expressive brown eyes, how many wonders do they disguise?"

We stared at each other for an unquantifiable amount of time, probing whatever depths of feeling hid within each other. "I love you," I told him as it suddenly was paramount for me that he should know that.

"Baby, you're here. I know you love me."

Ten minutes later than planned, we walked hand in hand into his parent's dining room. Luckily, I was wearing very little makeup, so it was easy to fix. On the other hand, Edward's hair was a mess, and had that I just got laid quality that he didn't do much to disguise. "They'll know that we've just had sex," I scolded him as I was trying to tame his wild hair with my wet hands. "Don't bother. It'll go back to its untamed state as soon as it dries. I thought you liked my messy hair," he argued and left the bathroom. I realized that a childish part of him wanted to spite his not so proper parents. "You want them to know that we've just…." I accused.

"Baby, I really could not care less about what they think. You see the irony in the situation, don't you? That they may be offended by the fact that their nearly 30-year-old son made love with the woman he's about to marry, as soon as the said female sets a date for the event," he added as a side note, "but we'll go back to that later; however, they're not bothered by the fact that their older son had nonconsensual sex with their youngest, minor daughter and actually thought it was a good idea to invite the said person over for lunch? I just can't be bothered anymore," and with that, he left the room, and I heard him from the corridor. "Coming?"

As I hurried after him, he rewarded me with a warm smile. He could be so mercurial sometimes.

"What are we having today for lunch?" Edward asked casually as he took his seat across from me. He and Carlisle sat simultaneously after the ladies took their seats.

"Your favorite," Esme said beaming and continued to list the delicacies to be had at lunch with a fake it until you make it smile plastered in her judiciously painted lips. Alice was quiet, only speaking when spoken to, playing with her food mostly to put up a show of eating, instead of actively ingesting any, and Edward was surprisingly calm.

"You've been away all week, son. What new ventures are you exploring now?" Carlisle asked, moving to safe subjects. Edward flinched at the word son but managed to keep his composure and was perfectly cordial and casual in his response. I think I was the only one who noticed his slip, and he moved on being his charming yet evasive self. The other Edward was back.

"Mum," he said after about an hour of the most perfunctory lunch I've ever had. "I'm going to have to steal your chef away from you. This combination of apricot and dark chocolate is unbelievable. Thank you for taking the time to plan such a wonderful meal."

"You're welcome. You know how much I enjoy it. Would you like to take the coffee on the terrace?" She added.

"Maybe next week," he declined politely. "I'm exhausted after my long trip and still a bit jet-lagged. I hope you don't mind, but I prefer to avoid caffeine altogether today and maybe get some rest in the afternoon."

"Oh, of course, darling. I can only imagine."

"You're skipping rugby today?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, I don't have much energy for it. Well, there's always next week. Alice," he said as he rose from his chair, "do you need a lift back to London?"

"No, Edward, I drove myself here." She answered, bemused.

"Are you staying?" Edward asked not so subtly.

"Actually, no. I have some work to be done. I should get going as well."

I thanked Esme again for lunch and followed Edward back to our car. There was still some paparazzi outside, but fewer than would have been had Jasper joined us for lunch.

"I don't know how you did it, but I must bow to the amount of restraint you showed today. I feared you would storm away, and havoc would ensue, but you were the perfect gentleman for your mother, and you managed to be polite with Carlisle. I could never be as gracious as you in such a situation. I'm in awe."

"I stayed because otherwise Jasper would show up like the prodigal son. I could keep my calm because I've decided to distance myself from this. The remnants of the parental figures I kept in my imagination were slaughtered today. I realized that I didn't care anymore, and I was surprisingly okay. I feel hopeful about our new family. The one we're going to have together. I choose that over this. I stayed today for Alice… but honestly, I doubt that it made much of a difference." He paused. "You know that she never, ever looks at me in the eye?"

"Edward, aside from being deeply hurt, I think she may still be embarrassed by everything."

"No. Even before all this nonsense, Alice never quite looked me in the eyes. And I hadn't known why or what to do about it. I love her, and I've failed her, I know. But do I have to keep paying for everyone else's sins? I think paying for mine is enough."

"You think she blames you?"

"More than she probably admits to herself. I think I became her scapegoat somehow. But, living with you made me realize that she needs to feel some responsibility for her own actions and decisions. I mean, she's mostly played the part of being a victim."

"Edward," I scolded him. "She is a victim. There's no easy way around it."

"And so are you. You keep it together for your family. You had a shitty mother and a crazy upbringing but managed to go through medical school; you had a failed engagement and two near-death experiences over the past year alone… There's just this strength inside you that is amazing."

"It's called survival instinct… And I've done some nasty things over the past few months, you know? So don't put me on some pedestal I have no place being." I told him truthfully.

"What have you done that's so terrible, aside from that little Joseph stunt in Forks?"

"You said you'd never mention it again…" And I realized that he used the wrong name purposefully.

"I've been good, so I mostly kept my promise, haven't I? I decided to let it go because now I feel like the Tanya thing in Sydney was balanced out. That and the fact that you came clean with it told me you'd never do it again. Your morals gave me the leverage in our relationship that I didn't have before."

"I'm happy you see it like that," I snickered, realizing how manipulative he could be. Unfortunately, the other Edward was still in place.

"It doesn't mean that I don't want to dismember him… but at least I don't have the visual of the situation, and I've tried really hard not to envisage it."

"I'm sorry," I apologized again. How can I ever make amends for that shit? "Fuck."

"How else have you been bad?" he inquired, changing the subject, "getting Hall to sell you the shares for a pittance of their worth?"

"Oh, you're just dying to know, aren't you?" I looked away from the window and to his profile. Should I tell him?

"Yes, please make my day. I think I deserve to know."

"I may have implied that the fire that destroyed his storage of forfeit goods wasn't accidental," I told him honestly and was already regretting it.

"Come again, you did what?" He demanded incredulous, looking at me like I had grown some horns, and I noticed the car was drifting to the other side of the road.

"Eyes on the road, Edward, are you trying to get us killed?" I yelled.

"Jesus, how could you? Do you know how dangerous that man really is? And the cronies he deals with? He helps launder money from some drug lords. My God, Bella, what were you thinking? Do you have some sort of death wish?" He questioned my sanity, getting more and more agitated.

"Look, for all he knows, I could be worse than everyone… And how do you know about all of this?"

"You don't do things like this. What the hell? Jesus," he huffed, clearly baffled. "That's just plain stupid, you know that? And how did YOU manage to get that kind of information?"

"Edward, I knew you were going to be like this, and that's why I didn't tell you. So technically, I didn't do anything wrong…."

"We'll be investing some extra care to your safety from now on. No more walking alone to the village or going anywhere without always having someone with you. I want background checks on everyone working at the Park, and everywhere you go from now on, the perimeter will have to be secured."

"Edward, just stop. Don't even consider going around my back with whatever plans are on your mind. I'm a grown-up, I know what I did, I'm not apologizing for anything, and I won't tolerate you going behind my back, going through things with John. So I'll be careful from now on and won't do anything of the sort again."

"Bella…"

"This honesty thing keeps backfiring at me… just let it go," I pleaded.

"Fine," he acquiesced too quickly.

The following week, Edward was even more annoyingly protective than before. He went through every security detail with John, and both decided it was best to reinforce it. I had to cancel my meeting with J as I didn't have time on my own. On Wednesday, Greta returned from her vacation and didn't seem pleased with the new working conditions.

"This is a little much," she said as she entered my office and noticed two security guards outside. "I have a man following me around everywhere I go INSIDE this building," she added, clearly miffed by that. "He waited outside the ladies' room for me. I heard him sniffing as I was washing my hands."

"It's just a precaution. Edward is a little unsettled by the fact that whoever tried to kill me is still out there."

"Well, yes, but is there a new threat? Did something happen while I was away?"

I shrugged and gestured for her to take a seat and go through our agenda. It was excessive, and it seemed to be adding to my paranoia as well.

I got up early to attend my uncle's church mass on Sunday morning. Edward and I had agreed that we'd skip the perfunctory family lunch as Alice was detained in London, and Edward wasn't willing to go through the motions anymore.

I thought Edward was still asleep, but as I was toweling myself dry after a quick shower, I jumped a little off my skin when I realized he was standing almost next to me, brushing his teeth.

"We're a bit jumpy this morning," he seemed amused.

"How does such a tall man move around so stealthily?" I couldn't hide the annoyance from my voice.

"Where are you going so early? And why is this on the sink?" He asked while picking up my engagement ring from the sink where I must have left it before climbing to shower.

"This was here since yesterday; I wondered when you'd realize something was missing from your hand…" he chided as he slipped it back to its place.

"I'm late to church," I told him. "I didn't wake you up because I was pretty sure you didn't want to go with me to a catholic service."

"Well, I could surely think of better things to spend my time on a Sunday morning," he answered as he pushed my towel open and whistled appreciatively at my naked body. "This almost makes up for the fact that I woke up alone again today…" and he bent down to kiss me, and my last coherent thought is that I'd have to call my uncle to apologize later. Much, much later.

I must have dozed after we made love because when I reopened my eyes, the early morning sun that had shone through the shutters was long gone. It was pouring outside.

"I thought it was sunny today," I said while I snuggled further into Edward's embrace. He was making small circular patterns on my thigh.

"Hmmm…" was his only answer. I thought he was about to make another amorous advance and was considering if a) I was maybe a bit too sore for another round of lovemaking before lunch and b) if I really had the energy to skip breakfast, yet again, as he seemed to be particularly fond of morning sex, when he broke my reverie in an unanticipated subject.

"I've been thinking about the night we fell in love," he stated and stopped his gentle caressing.

"When was that?" I asked, smiling, looking up to him.

"The night you forced me to dive into a freezing river after you. You know that it was sheer luck I got you. It was so dark; I couldn't see anything. I went after the sound of the splash and was lucky to get to you nearly as soon as you fell. I had a little flashlight in my hand, but that went black almost as soon as it got wet, and… as much as I try to recall anything else, I don't seem to be able to recall any details but the sheer agony of how cold the water was. I was so stunned by the bluntness of the cold that it stole my breath, and I couldn't move at first - I was paralyzed from the shock. I thought we were both going to die. I went back to that bridge a couple of weeks ago and followed the river downstream, and you know that we were dragged by the current less about less of a quarter of a mile? I remember thinking it was over two miles, and it wasn't. My perception of distance was completely screwed."

"Really?" I asked, perplexed. "But the house was about two miles from the bridge. I don't remember walking a lot," I mused aloud. In all honesty, I completely suppressed that night from my mind.

"Well, we didn't. It's about two miles if you take the main road, but significantly less if you walk along the river shore. There's a trail just outside the bridge. This got me thinking that maybe our perception about that night may have been completely screwed up as well, and we've been looking at this from a skewed perspective. Almost all, if not the entirety of the possible heirs to Henry More's fortune, were genuinely surprised about the turn of events on the following day. Trying to kill you right before you inherited had to be done by someone who not only knew who you were but could also benefit somehow from your early demise."

"Yes, Edward. We've been through all that already, but no one seems to fit the bill…."

"What if we're looking at this from the wrong perspective?" He repeated his early question.

"Bella, I've been thinking about this… But, look, if you had died that day, I still wouldn't inherit more than the properties that were entailed." he insisted on his point.

"I know…"

"We know that it would be your family to inherit, as legally Henry would have died before you did… so no one of Henry's apparent heirs would benefit greatly from it. But if there was an intermediate will, if we want to call it that way, the previous heir may have intended to contest the last one…."

"Yes, yes," I interrupted him. "I talked to the police about that. The lawyers said that they discussed the creation of a foundation. However, there was never more than a rough draft about something of the like, and if there was such a document, they didn't know who had it." J had tried really hard to find something of the nature, and even though we suspected James may have been involved in something like this, it didn't make sense for Henry to rely solely on him for that and not on the legal team that usually managed his affairs.

"The night I drove to pick you up from your uncle's house, I had been drinking at the local pub. It's a lot closer to your uncle's than my parent's house is. Alice was staying there for the night if you recall. When she called him later that day to know if he'd seen us, as she was getting worried that neither of us was picking up the phone, he told her not to worry too much as we were probably just distracted - that he'd noticed the way I looked at you."

"You pestered me the whole service the day before," I teased, trying to lighten the mood as I noticed the tension building up on my fiancé. "It was hard to miss."

"The only way to your uncle's house is through that bridge. That night, my car was poorly parked, with the headlights on, the driver's door was open, and the engine was still running when it was found. He had to notice my car when he drove back to his house, right? So why didn't he call the police?"

"Edward, you're not implying," I argued as soon as I realized where he was going.

"Listen, he drove past my car on a clear night. It had been snowing recently, but it wasn't foggy as he said it usually is next to the river. We got lucky because I would have never been able to get to you on a foggy night. So when he told the police that he didn't see it while returning home - he had to be lying. The only person that knew you were going to be picked up by Alice was your uncle, and he knew she would have taken a lot longer to get you than I have, even with my initial hesitancy to get you instead of her. I stalled for about 5 or 10 minutes at the pub while I was deciding."

"Edward, he's my uncle and a priest… there's no reason for him to do such a thing. I get that you're worried, but we can't go around falsely accusing people… He wouldn't gain anything from it."

"What if he would? What if Henry considered establishing a foundation with your uncle running it. Think about it, they were friends, your uncle became a confidant to the man that ruined his sister…."

"My grandmother wasn't ruined. She remarried and was happy with my grandfather."

"Why did she keep that necklace, then?"

"I've been rummaging about this for a few weeks. I didn't tell you because I knew this would be your reaction. Bella, Father Thomas only went to the seminar after your grandmother moved to the US. He found his calling late. Your great-grandmother was dismissed after your grandmother left and couldn't find employment anywhere for months. At least, not until Henry came around and re-hired her a few years later. Saint Henry More didn't bother to check on his beloved's family. And that left your family in a difficult position. As the only male in the family, your uncle was allowed to study, but, as his parents couldn't afford to pay for his studies anymore, he had to transfer to a catholic school later that year. It was either becoming a priest or coming back home to help the family."

"That's so sad, poor uncle Thomas," I mainly uttered to myself. What havoc Henry's a grandma Marie's love created. "Look, it still makes no sense. You're speculating. I became very fond of my uncle over the past few months. I've known him for almost a year now…." I argued. It seemed impossible.

"Bella, listen to me. When in doubt, follow the money." He stood up naked from the bed and pulled on some clean boxer shorts. "Come downstairs. I have something to show you. I was emailed on Thursday with new information that supports my theory. I was thinking about the best way to approach the subject, but when you said that you were going to your uncle's parish today, I figured there isn't a right way to say this. I don't want you anywhere around that man, so... Let me show you."

I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and followed him in a daze. Could he be right?

"Now you've bestowed upon your uncle a sum of around 7 million pounds to buy and rebuild an old country house that will serve as a priest's and nun's retiring home in the future."

"Well, yes, I've seen the plans, and I've visited the site."

"It's kind of a lot of money for that sole purpose, isn't it? I thought as much when you told me about it. Remember that I even made a joke about the poverty vow they seem to be forgetting, given that they would live in luxury after retiring. This here," he said pointing at his laptop and opened a pdf file, "is a document of a contract promising to sell an adjacent building, after its complete restoration, to his sister Jane and his nephew James More for a tenth of its worth, for about 200 000 pounds. This building was listed as an abandoned cottage in the documents you were given. However, it's an old manor, almost the same size as the house you visited. See?" He asked, pointing at the screen, and he showed me a picture of a different old house than the one I was shown before.

"It looks a bit rugged…." I told him. The façade was lovely but decrepit.

"Yes, it does now. However, it could turn into a quaint little hotel and turn a good profit with some investment. Why would your uncle invest your money in something that'll benefit his estranged sister exclusively? James will probably profit at least a million pounds from here, with only a minor investment. Buying it for this paltry sum that I bet came from the 500 she inherited from Henry is a way to keep this whole business looking remotely legal so that no one looks too much into it. You wouldn't… and your uncle's bishop won't either as it will be signed-off as profit for the institution. The whole conversation around this project seemed off from the beginning. From my standpoint, you could have done the same with half the investment, so I decided to look into it. He was either bad with money, which was possible considering his profession, but it just didn't seem to be the case."

I was shell-shocked, and my mind turned blank.

"Bella, you're shivering. Are you okay?"

"This is all circumstantial," I denied. But the seed of doubt was taking root in my heart, and I began silently crying.

"If James had anything to do with Henry's previous will, then he'd know your uncle was the one who could have benefited more from the whole thing. He'd know that you were attacked right outside your uncle's house… he added 2+2 and came up with 4. So I reckon that James is probably blackmailing your uncle. The rift between your uncle and both Jane and her son, James, was real."

"What if James is in this together with my uncle?" I asked between sobs.

"No, I don't think so. First, if James were to be involved in the planning of your assassination, I don't think you'd be alive for one, and second, he would know that there was nothing to be gained from it as Emmett, your father, and mother would be your heirs. Henry's last will revoked anything that came before. I'm assuming your uncle might not have known this, or maybe he didn't care and was just a spur-of-the-moment decision, coming from years of frustration. I don't know…."

As I was about to collapse, Edward quickly picked up my shaken body and sat us on the nearby couch before continuing. "Friday morning, I went to the police and discussed with the inspector my theory. He was skeptical at first, but after I showed him what I've shown you, he thought that there's some merit in it. But, unfortunately, even if your uncle is not a murderer, he's unduly benefitting his family with this business, and that's probably illegal as well."

"So best case scenario he embezzled some of my money, and worst-case scenario, he tried to murder me. Did I get it right?" I questioned him sarcastically. "This money is a curse," I shivered from the cold that crept inside me. A piece of my soul broke.

"That about sums it up, yes. Baby, I'm so sorry. You're just too trusting…." Edward began, but I wasn't listening to him anymore.

Henry, what have you done to me?

The following week, I had to reschedule my meeting with J, as Edward was even more overbearing than usual. I was told that the police visited my uncle on Monday, and he was invited to go over his initial statements.

He called me a few times, and I ignored them. I eventually received a text message saying I can't believe you'd believe such preposterous allegations against me. You are the daughter I never had.

That single text fazed me. What if I'm being unfair? It was all so circumstantial.

I decided to talk to him personally, but Edward forbade me to meet him anywhere. And a terrible fight ensued as the expression I won't allow you didn't go well with me. About an hour later, as I walked furiously around the maze, my dad called me saying he'd spoken to Edward, the rat, who was worried about me. They both agreed that it was best to stay out of it and leave the police to handle the matter.

"Bells," my dad said in his most endearing, well-trained, appeasing paternal voice, "even though I don't usually agree with Edward, he may be right about this. You don't want to tamper with an ongoing investigation. Just stay out of this for now…."

"Dad, what if he's innocent? How terrible to be falsely accused of something so… well, terrible. But, nevertheless, I'm still inclined to believe that James is the one behind all this."

"Baby, you'll apologize if that's the case. But I wouldn't put my hopes high. I feel like shooting the man, myself."

Shit, I just lost my way inside the maze, I realized as soon as I disconnected that phone call.

"I'm sorry I couldn't meet you on Monday, but things have been a bit difficult."

"Nice venue," J teased as he glanced around the low-lit room. I chose Coco de Mer, a store that sold lingerie and some saucy extras on Monmouth Street. We were supposed to have met before, but it was nearly impossible to escape Edward.

"Well, I don't think my bodyguards would be very interested in entering this particular store with me. Edward might be a little overprotective after Mr. Hall reluctantly sold his shares."

"Well, you don't pay me to ask questions, but that was weeks ago…."

"Well, yes."

"I know about the new suspect. I'm sorry that I didn't consider that myself." J said, mentioning my uncle. "Will you be terminating my services?"

"No. No one could have known."

"His Grace knew," J mumbled uncomfortably.

"Do you find that it's possible then that his theory is right?"

His response was a slight nod.

Fuck, why?

"Our mutual friend will have a special visit this Thursday. A Miss Leah Ramsey, she's a 21-year-old law student," he began as he discreetly showed me a picture.

"She looks younger, barely out of high school," I whispered as my heart pummeled against my chest.

"She's been working as an escort for the last couple of years. That's how she's paying for her tuition. This one-time job may keep her afloat for the rest of her years in college if she chooses to do so. Even though I somehow doubt it very much."

"How much are we paying her?"

"One hundred thousand pounds, as you insisted. Miss Ramsey would have done this for a fraction of it."

"I would have felt even more like taking advantage of her, otherwise." As it wasn't bad enough. I felt trapped and wanted James removed from my life as soon as possible.

"You're a good person," J said, feeling the need to console me. As far as I could tell, that was a first for him.

"You really don't need to tell me that. I seem to have sold my soul to the devil recently. I've crossed the line once before. Unfortunately, I'm about to cross it a second time." I told him ruefully.

"You won't feel as strongly about it after the third time."

"What story did you tell her?"

"Do you really want to know? The least you know, the more genuinely surprised you'll look."

I stared at him in shock because we both knew this was a slippery slope.

"He may not take the bait," I mumbled, trying in a pointless effort to justify what I was doing. It's his choice.

"We both know he will. I'll see you next time." And with that, he turned his back to me and left the place at a leisure pace. I grabbed the first thing I saw from the racket, a pink slip and a matching robe, and went to the cashier to pay for it. I noticed she was staring at me, waiting for my reply, but I was on automate and didn't hear.

"I'm sorry, say that again?"

"870 pounds, Miss."

"Of course," I quickly went through my handbag, looking for my credit card, thinking about how I should have looked at the price tag. It seemed such a waste of money.

And those 100 000 thousand pounds aren't wasteful? The cynic voice in my head asked. I grabbed the bag with the overpriced lingerie that I'd never wear and left the store to the unknowing bustling street.

Looking back on that moment, how I wish I could have turned my back on everything and said, you know what? Fuck it, it's not worth it. None of this is. If there was ever a moment in my life I should have just walked away, it was then.

And because I didn't, I paid the price for it.

AN:

Guys, how have you all been doing since this crazy pandemic hit? I hope you're all doing well. I'm so tired of it all.

Anyway, did you see that one coming? Three are three more chapters and an epilogue coming. And we'll be done. It's going to be a rough ride from now on. Slippery slope indeed.

Thank you so much if you're still reading. I took it upon myself to finish this, and I will.

I love you all, thank you so much for reading this.