Sakura twitched her skirt a little and wished it was longer. It was actually longer than the pocketed skirt she remembered wearing, and didn't have the slits in the side, but back then she wore spandex shorts underneath. There were exactly one pair of spandex shorts on the rack of clothes Naruto had wheeled back into the bedroom, and Karin had nabbed them. Sakura's choice of underwear had been boxers…
Or a high rise G-string.
It was marginally better than just going commando. Marginally. On one hand, it kept people from actually seeing her… cherries… which was a plus in her book, but on the other hand, apparently she'd already shown her cherries to the entire world and now she had a string in her asscrack.
The pros and cons of forcefully stealing Karin's shorts kept flitting through her mind.
At least the boys looked good. Sasuke was in dark slacks and a button up shirt that fit him like a glove. With black shoes and the top two buttons undone, it practically screamed professional on a day off. Those top two undone buttons especially seemed to hint at possibilities, and put her in mind of taking it off, possibly with her tongue. From the looks other women gave him seemed to have a similar effect on them as well.
Naruto, though, had gone for a more formal look with some sort of suit that mixed smooth black cloth with orange and red trim, and had to be custom tailored, because only Naruto would think orange was an appropriate accent color for a fancy suit. The hell of it was, it really did look good. Naruto being taller and heavier and more adult and frankly just more manly coupled with the custom suit to make him look like some sort of badass. It would be easy to imagine him in that suit equally at home at a corporate meeting, staring down a thug on the street, or lounging in the VIP room at an upscale house of entertainment.
She'd never really thought of Naruto as sexy, not even when he'd gotten back from his training trip, and especially not being 'cool' like Sasuke, but just watching him prowl around like a playful tiger made her breath hitch and things low in her body clench up. Flashes of his naked body from that morning kept springing to her mind, and she couldn't help but wonder what last night must have been like, watching him plow Karin from behind from such an intimate view underneath, despite the blush it brought to her cheeks.
Of course, she lingered longest on the question of what Sasuke had felt like on her…
Sakura was roused from her pressing questions by Naruto's exclamation.
"Oh wooooow, is that a stuffed tengu?" He pointed in sheer amazement at a human sized figure with a birdlike head propped up outside of a store. It had black feathers on its wings, arms, and head, and the head itself was that of a crow, but sized for a human.
"That has to be fake," Karin replied. "No way did someone stuff a tengu."
"Let's checkitout!" Naruto said enthusiastically, pointing. "I bet that store has all kinds of neat things!"
"Naruto, we're looking for clues as to what caused us to lose our memories, not shopping. We don't need to stop in a curio shop. We've got to retrace our drunken steps," Sakura said patiently.
Naruto frowned, then grinned and pointed a finger at her. "Ahah! That means we definitely have to stop and look around! Because if we were drunk and came anywhere near here, this is DEFINITELY the kind of place I'd stop in and look around!"
Sakura found herself unable to argue with that logic, and so they entered the store.
"Whoooaaaa! Cool!" Naruto exclaimed as he tried to look at everything at once.
Sakura found it odd that Naruto could say exactly the same thing he would once have said, and yet it came out more like a man impressed by something new and different rather than an overly excitable child. His lack of hyperactive bouncing around might have had something to do with that.
The shop was absolutely stuffed full of random stuff from apparently all over the world. Figurines made from jade, porcelain, ivory, and stone, silk fans, a few swords that didn't look like anything she'd ever seen before, exotic plants in hanging pots, a tiny stuffed crocodile, a butterfly in amber, a few more stuffed birds and small mammals, and hundreds more items not easily identifiable.
Sakura's gaze lingered on a depressed looking monkey in a brass cage high atop one shelf. A small, hand lettered sign hung below it warning against putting fingers through the bars of the cage.
"Oooh, what's this thing?" Naruto asked, poking at a funny looking footstool.
"That's a saddle for a camel, honored customer Sir," replied a middle aged, bearded man that emerged from a back room with some haste. He walked with a strange shuffling gait, like he was afraid his shoes were going to fall off, and he wore long white robes with additional wraps on top. "If Sir does not have a camel, it makes a wonderful footstool or seat." He had a strong but understandable accent, as if he was a good student but hadn't been living in the area for very many years.
"Huh. It smells funny," Naruto said, wrinkling his nose.
"That would be the camel hair stuffing, customer Sir. A genuine article, a steal at only 1600 ryo, and my children go hungry, customer Sir!" He eyed Naruto with the predatory gaze of a salesman, not unlike the dead, hungry eyes of a shark.
Naruto was typically oblivious. "Nah, I don't want a funny smelling footstool."
The shopkeeper's gaze wandered to the other three, dismissing Karin as too obviously meek to the others, shying away from Sasuke's even colder, don't-mess-with-me eyes, and settled on Sakura.
Sakura may or may not have growled back.
"Ah, Sayida, you appear to have very discerning taste. Perhaps I could interest you in something? Some jeweled ivory combs for your lovely hair?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned and started rummaging around under a counter for something probably very expensive.
"No, I don't need a- oh my, those are lovely," Sakura admitted, then pressed her hands to her mouth in regret.
Scenting blood, the shopkeeper smiled and removed two pick combs carved from ivory and polished to a lustrous texture, then inlaid with mother of pearl and green jade. "Ai yi yi, Sayida, I knew when I saw you that here, here is a lovely women of means who desperately needs something befitting her status to keep her wonderful hair in check.
Sakura idly twirled a strand of her hair in her fingers and bit her lip. Her hair was just a bit longer than she liked, and WAS long enough to get in her eyes but not quite long enough to do up in a bun or behind her ears… Mutely, Sakura allowed him to push the lovely combs into her hands.
"Ai yi! A mirror! We must find a mirror for you!"
Sasuke ignored the proceedings, and Karin took Sakura's sudden shopping as tactic permission to look for something herself. After all, she could buy things, too! They'd each found personal wallets more or less stuffed with coins and bills as they were preparing to explore.
Naruto had continued his exploration, poking a finger in the mouth of the stuffed baby crocodile, then snatching it back and giggling when he tripped a spring mechanism and the jaws slammed shut. It was entirely too slow for someone with ninja reflexes, so he simply found it to be a charming toy. On one shelf he found a heavy, locked box with a thick glass top, and inside there was something brown and gnarled on a trio of pegs. It looked kinda gross, like a kid's hand, but hairy. The box had a price tag with a lot of zeros on it, and expensive meant interesting to Naruto despite the rather grim appearance. Of course, a locked box is no obstacle at all to a ninja…
"Hey, Beardy? What's with this thing?" he asked turning to where the shopkeeper was holding up a silver framed mirror for Sakura to fix her hair in a bun with the ivory combs and holding up the severed hand to show what he meant.
"Aiyah! That not supposed to be out of the box! That a very special and rare object, customer Sir! That a legendary magical monkey paw that grants wishes!" He hastily started trying to find a place where he could put the mirror down so it wouldn't fall and break.
"A monkey paw? That grants wishes?" Naruto asked dubiously. "What, like, any wish spoken aloud? And how many?"
"Please, customer Sir!" the shopkeeper begged, knocking over a mechanical clock as he sat the mirror down. "Do not make any wishes! That is a very hard thing for me to make! Very expensive!"
"Oh, you made it? Why didn't you wish for something?" Naruto asked, turning the dried monkey paw over in his hands and stroking the fur with his thumb. "And how many wishes, anyway? I've got a lot of money."
"Magic not work that way! I make for customer, customers pay me money, that all I wish for." He paused at the 'lot of money' comment. "It gives one wish for each finger, Sayid. When all fingers are curled up, no more wishes."
"What if I used a wish to wish for more wishes?" Naruto asked.
The shopkeeper cringed every time he said the word 'wish', half expecting him to inadvertently trigger the magic and waste a wish. "No, Sayid. Once a finger curls it cannot be pried open."
"Oh," Naruto said, disappointed. "That sucks. Why only one, though? If you can make them, you ought to make a bunch of them."
"Ai yi yi, I have materials only for the one. I must sell it and buy more materials. I still have monkey, though." He waved in the general direction of the monkey in the brass cage.
The monkey gave them a bleak look and didn't move, and they noticed for the first time that only one paw clutched at the bars of the cage while the other arm ended in a stump.
Sasuke ignored it. Karin adjusted her glasses.
"Huh," Naruto said. "So, about these wishes…"
"That poor monkey!" Sakura exclaimed, horrified. With lightning quick ninja speed, she crossed the distance and snatched the dried monkey paw from Naruto.
"I wish this paw was reattached to the monkey and healed completely!"
Instantly, the paw disappeared from her hand.
"Eeeek eeek eeek!" the monkey screeched in surprise as it suddenly found itself in possession of its missing paw.
"Uh oh," Karin said faintly. "This won't end well."
"Ai yi yi! Foolish customer! What have you done?" the shopkeeper cried in horror.
"Aww, Sakuraaaa…" Naruto whined. "Why'd you have to go and do a thing like that for? What does a monkey need with wishes? We could have used that to get our memories back!"
Sakura stamped her foot and looked defiant. "I don't care! What happened to that poor monkey was wrong! How would you like it if someone cut your hand off and tried to sell it while keeping you locked in a cage?"
"I'm not a monkey," Naruto replied reasonably.
The monkey's chittering continued as it inspected the returned hand. Four of the fingers seemed to be working fine, but one remain stubbornly curled from the wish Sakura had made. The chittering subsided abruptly. Everyone stared at the brass cage, waiting for something to happen.
The monkey looked down at its paw. The next finger curled, and at the same instant, the locked door to the cage sprang open. The monkey shrieked in surprise, but then started ook ooking happily to itself as it climbed out and sat on the shelf, squeezing in among the dusty relics.
"No! Bad monkey! Get back in your cage!" the shopkeeper cried. "Where is my net, ay yi yi…"
"I guess his greatest wish was to be free," Karin said slowly.
"See?" Naruto complained. "He wasted that wish on unlocking the cage, when he could have wished himself in a tropical resort or back in the jungle or wherever. Stupid monkey wasted a wish that could have been ours!"
The monkey chittered a little, then another finger curled. Instantly, a banana appeared in the monkeys other hand. Apparently expecting that, it bit the top of the peel off and started eating the magically delivered fruit. Despite the monkey's half starved and flea-bitten appearance, it ate slowly, as if savoring the banana.
"Well, I'd expect a monkey to wish for a banana…" Karin said slowly.
"Aww, dammit, another wasted wish. He could have had a lifetime of bananas, like, one would appear every time he scratched his ass or something. Sakuraaa," Naruto whined, "the dumb monkey is making dumb wishes, make him stop!"
About that time, the shopkeeper returned with a large cloth net on a long pole and started slowly walking towards the monkey, which was just finishing its banana.
"Nice monkey, don't move monkey…" the man coaxed.
The monkey glanced at him. Glanced down at the hand. Looked up at nothing in particular. Another finger curled.
The shopkeeper hesitated, but when apparently nothing happened, he started closing in for the capture once more.
"I guess he wished for something he couldn't have," Naruto said, disappointed.
The monkey turned its head slowly and fixed the shopkeeper with its gaze.
The man was suddenly engulfed in flames.
"Ay yi yi! I am on fire! Ahhhhhh!" the man screamed, flailing his burning robes frantically as he staggered back and forth, then fell and sizzled quietly on the floor, miraculously not setting any of the highly flammable items in his shop on fire in the process.
The monkey turned and looked at Naruto.
"AHHHHHH! Hot hot hot!" Naruto cried, suddenly on fire. He frantically beat at his face and hair with his hands, even as the others, even Sasuke, slapped him all over, putting out the fire. Fortunately, Naruto was a great deal more fireproof than the shopkeeper, or at least more flame resistant. He was soon barely smoldering.
"Oh look. The monkey's third wish was for the ability to set people on fire with his mind," Sasuke said blandly. "Sakura, are you getting the feeling yet that perhaps you didn't think your little act of compassion all the way through?"
"Oookkak!" the monkey exclaimed happily. "Eeek eeek oook ook aaak…" It looked down at its fingers. Four of them were curled, and only the thumb remained, which it waggled back and forth thoughtfully. Scratched its nose. Looked at the hand again.
The last finger, the thumb, curled in, and the monkey was making a tiny simian fist.
Then, slowly, the monkey opened its hand again, stretching the fingers flat, then opening and closing them into a fist several times, popping the knuckles audibly.
Then, with all of its fingers extended, the monkey slowly curled its index finger, the first one that had curled in response to Sakura's wish for the monkey to have its paw back.
Two female monkeys of the same species suddenly appeared on the shelf below it, each bearing silver platters loaded down with an assortment of fresh fruit.
"I thought we couldn't wish for more wishes?" Naruto protested.
"He only said that we couldn't uncurl the fingers again," Sakura said slowly. "I guess since it's his paw, and it's alive again, he… can…"
"Oooooook eeek," the monkey said slowly. It extended the curled finger again and used the hand to reach down and pick a single grape off the patter, which it popped in its mouth.
The monkey's eyes gleamed with possibilities.
"AAAAAHHH hot hot hot!" Naruto cried, on fire again. He was quickly put out once more.
"Ah, guys, I think we should be going now," Karin said nervously. "The monkey clearly has things to do. We wouldn't want to… intrude."
Slowly, the four of them edged backwards out of the shop to the sound of contemplative simian chatter.
"Well, now that you've given an angry, bitter monkey the keys to the universe, what do you want to do for an encore?" Karin asked sharply as they all walked down the street away from the curio shop, which had apparently just turned into a large tree.
"I'm kinda thirsty, actually," Sakura admitted, not looking behind her. "Considering how much alcohol we drank last night, I know I should be drinking water right now, but all I want is a pina colada."
"Aged single malt whiskey, for me," Naruto chimed in. People were staring at them. It felt good.
"…sake," Sasuke grudgingly admitted. He glared back at the people who stared at him. The men suddenly found things to do elsewhere, and the women mostly looked hot and bothered. From a distance, Sasuke's 'I hate you all' expression was remarkably similar to what someone who didn't know him might describe as 'smoldering'.
"And I'll have anything with a four word name and an umbrella," Karin finished, having finally put the nagging feeling into words.
"We really are alcoholics," Sakura said despairingly. "I always said I'd never be like Tsunade and yet here I am, desperate for a drink."
"Oh, come on Sakura, you're nothing like Baachan," Naruto replied cheerfully, unfortunately staring down and to the side at her tits.
Sakura's eyebrow twitched. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"
"You're young and gorgeous, and she's really a wrinkly old hag under a jutsu. It's an awesome jutsu, but you're all real, and that's hot."
Sakura blushed and moved closer to him, and Naruto idly gathered her under one arm and gave her a peck on the side of the neck.
"Aww," Karin said with a sigh.
"…" Sasuke was in too much shock to say anything.
Naruto's eyes widened as it finally hit him what he'd just done.
"…what …what just happened?" Sakura asked faintly.
"I'm not sure, but it was totally sweet," Naruto said finally, not releasing her from his one armed grasp. "It just felt so natural, words just came like they were there on my tongue just waiting to be said…"
Sasuke grunted and looked thoughtful.
Karin moved closer to him to see if he had an automatic reflex that involved hugging her.
"You're in my space," he said absently, not even looking at her.
Karin sighed and stepped away. It figured.
"Aww, poor Karin-chan. Is Sasuke being a dick again?" Naruto's arm reached out and pulled her close.
Karin smiled. "Well, that's a reflex that I could get used to."
"I think that's it, actually," Sakura said slowly.
"Yes," Sasuke said, having just came to the same conclusion.
"Eh?" Naruto asked, having been momentarily blissed out by having a cute girl under each arm.
Sasuke just grunted, and Naruto stuck his tongue out at him.
Since Sasuke obviously wasn't going to elaborate, Sakura continued.
"I believe that, despite our lack of recent memories, our personalities have actually changed in the years we don't remember. Like there is a whole host of automatic responses ingrained into our bodies that we don't have to think about, and are not reliant on our missing memories."
"But it seems like we're really different," Karin protested. "Can personalities really change that much in just a few years?"
"No, no, it makes sense," Naruto admitted. "I mean, look what happened to all of us right after we made genin. I know we had a lot of things going on, but in like three or four years everything changed. And since it appears that we didn't exactly settle down…"
"We're almost strangers to ourselves now," Sakura finished. "The intellectual side of me wants to just scream in horror, beat Naruto into a bloody pulp for having a hand on my ass right now, and start researching how to get my memories back. But these new instincts I have are apparently telling me that I should get drunk and make him go down on me instead."
"We should negotiate the terms of your surrender to your instincts at the nearest bar," Naruto said brightly. "After all, since that's apparently all we've been doing lately, we're bound to find a clue there." His hand slid beneath the waistband of her skirt and toyed with her thong.
"Naruto, you stupid pervert! Lead the way!" Sakura replied angrily, then looked confused again.
"Ladies, and step!" Naruto complied cheerfully, guiding the two girls into a simultaneous walk.
Damn it feels good to be a pimp, Naruto thought happily. It's been a long journey to this moment, and it was tooooootally worth it.
Sasuke followed from behind, theoretically aloof from it all, though he did grunt once in amusement as Naruto spelled out 'I know where you're looking' in code with repeated flips of Sakura's skirt.
A half hour later, their good mood had largely evaporated. Naruto finally did something that made Sakura jump and squeal, Sakura punched Naruto hard enough to send him through THREE buildings, making Karin 'EEEK!' and hide behind Sasuke, and Sasuke reflexively used Tsukiyomi to put a man in a hot, dry desert with nothing to drink for seventy two hours.
The cause of the stress was-
The nine bars they'd managed to find in the area were either closed or actively hostile.
Bar one: "Like, sorry, scary dudes and dudettes. You drank us out the day before yesterday, we haven't got any more booze, man." At least he'd been laid back about being slightly put out.
Bar two: "No no no! We closed! You drink all liquor! You very bad man! You go now!" And threatened them with a push broom.
Bar three: "Oi! Don't be comin' roun heah, you bastids alreddy drank all da lickah!" That had been fine, but then Sakura had said something uncomplimentary and the bartender may or may not have insulted her, it was hard to tell, and Sasuke had nailed him with the sharingan.
Bar four: "Aiyah! The wrecker of bars returns! Here, it last bottle of special family heirloom! You take! No hurt family!"
"Shouldn't we feel bad about taking that guy's family heirloom booze?" Naruto asked, cracking the seal on the bottle of plum wine.
"We paid him, now pass it down," Sasuke replied.
Bar five: "Ahhhhhgh! You scrawny bastards drank me family whiskeh! That cask has been passed down from father to son in Clan McHebereke for seven hundred years! I'll have your heads for that!"
And they had been chased down the street by a large, angry bearded man wearing a plaid skirt and wielding an enormous broad bladed straight sword.
"Huh, now that guy, we should have felt bad about drinking his booze," Naruto muttered once they'd gotten away by hopping over a row of buildings.
"Yeah, since we already drank it, we didn't have it for today," Karin agreed.
Bar six: "I reckon you fellers done drank ma stock plum out. You best be moseying."
"I don't know how to mosey," Naruto admitted sheepishly.
"Well, I reckon you better learn fast," the grizzled man in a short brim hat advised. And then a section of the front of his bar exploded outwards, sending wood splinters and high velocity lead pellets at the group.
They all ducked quickly, letting the projectiles pass harmlessly overhead.
"Hey, that wasn't very nice," Karin complained.
"Ah ain't had a drink in mah own bar in four days!" the man hollered back. "You four are the Devil!"
"Uh, like, our collective evil is the same as that of a devil, or are we each a devil? I'm confused," Naruto said thoughtfully.
"Maybe we're all mini devils and when combined we actually form the Prince of Hell," Karin offered.
"You mean like, 'Drunken Devil Power Combine, form of SATAN HIMSELF!'?" Naruto asked, yelling the last part.
"Ah hate yall," the man replied. "And Ah might not be able ta shoot you, but I'mma try anyway," he added, reloading.
"Alright, alright, we're leaving…" Sakura said, and shoved the others out the door.
"What is this place?" Sasuke asked, speaking up for the first time in a while. "The City of Bar Cliches?"
They all paused to stare down the road where a man who was screaming and on fire ran across the street and disappeared into an alley.
"Well, I was right about one thing, we've definitely been to these places. And they remember us, too!" Naruto said cheerfully.
"But now we can't get a drink anywhere!" Sakura complained. "I'm starting to understand why we adopted a nomadic lifestyle."
"Excuse me, Naruto-sama? Did I hear you were looking for a drink?" asked a smiling, unassuming little man in a robe as he appeared at their side, holding a large glass of some sort of murky liquid. "Here, have this. I made it especially for you!"
Naruto accepted the glass. "Hey, thanks Squirrelly guy! I've been getting pretty thirsty!"
The man bowed and disappeared in a cloud of smoke, though none of them present had any trouble at all following his shunshin to the top of a nearby building and away.
Naruto took a big drink of the suspicious looking liquid. Immediately, his pupils shrank to the size of pinholes, then dilated to the extreme, then shrank again, then started wobbling and turned red. He shook a maraca in his free hand, and also one in his third hand, which may or may not have actually been an elephant's trunk.
"They call me Cuban Pete! I'm the king of the rumba beat!" he sang spontaneously, shaking his hips and the maracas in time with music that sprang up out of nowhere. "When I play my maracas I go chick chicky boom chick chicky boom," he added as he put a series of hip sways into his dance, which everyone else swayed along with.
Naruto took another drink, sinful and redolent with the aromas of fermented curare and psilocybin mushroom liquor, then started dancing down the road, followed by his staring but dancing along friends.
"Yes sir I'm Cuban Pete! I'm the craze of my native street, when I start to dance everything goes chick chicky boom chick chicky boom…" he sang, bumping and grinding and shaking his maracas. Other people started joining in the parade and the world itself swayed in and out with his sudden hip thrusts.
He tossed back the last of the drink and tossed the glass to one side, where it punched though six walls and narrowly missed decapitating a startled old man.
"Naruto!" Sakura called as she jumped forward to restrain him, but he just swept her up into a short tango.
"The senoritas they sing-a and then they swing-a their lumbaro," he said, effortlessly waltzing under a furious haymaker from the enraged woman. "It's very nice!" he assured Karin, bending over backwards and looking at her upside down from below, then slipped past another punch by Sakura and spun her into a twirl, "So full of spice!"
Naruto grabbed her close and dipped her low, holding her there for a moment. "And when they dance and then they bring a happy ring they're a care-o… singing a song! All day long!" He dropped her without another thought and twirled Karin into his grasp, getting a happy giggle.
Suddenly there was more of him, grabbing Sakura, grabbing Sasuke, grabbing random people off the street into a dance that could only be performed by someone with a ninja's roof hopping jumps and the ability to stick to walls with chakra.
"Soooo if you like the beat! Take a lesson from Cuban Pete! And I'll teach you to chick chicky boom chick chicky boom chick chicky boom!" The music rose and fell.
Suddenly the entire lineup of Akatsuki was there, in their red cloud cloaks and huge sombreros, all with maracas and strangely limp, noodly arms shaking maracas.
"He's a really modest guy," Itachi started singing in a high falsetto, "even though he's the hottest guy… in Havana-"
"In Havana!" the other Akatsuki chimed in in falsettos, except Konan who, for some reason, sounded remarkably like Dr. Girlfriend.
Dozens of Naruto's disappeared and he left Karin and Sakura clinging to each other and giggling as they made mooneyes at him, instead snatching Konan's hand and somehow pulling her out of her Akatsuki robe so that she stood with him dressed in a slinky, glittery silver backless dress with slits up the side to her waist and diamond studded high heels.
"Si senorita I know that you will like the chicky boom chick," he said, tangoing with her across a ballroom floor. "It's very nice!"
"So full of spice!" his friends and Akatsuki cheered enthusiastically, and Naruto casually whipped Konan to the side into the orchestra with a crash of instruments as an even hotter chick showed up.
Pain, in that hot female body that they'd brought back, sauntered out from his cloak and sombrero to stand in a little black dress, all her piercing gleaming like polished jet in the disco lights.
"I place my hand-a on your hip," Naruto said, doing just that as he slinked up to Pain-ko from behind, who turned her head and looked demurely seductive as he crooned into her ear, "and if you give me your hand we will try-" instead of giving him her hand Pain-ko slid it down the waistband of his pants, "Ai yi yi!"
Naruto spun away, accepting a huge, fruity drink spiked with umbrellas and another pair of maracas for his crab claw hands. "So if you like the beat! Take a lesson from Cuban Pete! And I'll teach you to chick chicky boom chick chicky boom chick chicky boom dattebayo!"
"What the hell are you mumbling about?" Sakura asked him curiously.
Naruto looked around. They were in a new bar, one that apparently still had booze, at least for a little while, since he really did have a tall fruity drink in his hand. It was dimly lit, though there was track lighting, currently dark, over a fighting ring set into a large open space in the middle of the room. Sasuke and Karin were both drinking and eyeing him dubiously.
"Your eyes are pretty dilated. Are you okay?" Sakura asked.
"Sakura, I've never been better," Naruto assured her, navigating the many dangerous spikes of decorative umbrellas to take a drink with apparently the ease of long practice.
Naruto smiled and tapped his foot to music only he could hear.
"Chick chicky boom chick chicky boom dattebayo…."
Author's notes: Man, I forgot how much fun I was having with this when I thought I'd have to delete it and stopped working on it. Next chapter might be a while, I'm working more on People Lie at the moment.