AN-For someone who doesn't do much fluff, this is new but as a birthday present to myself I planned to do something cute-ish for a change. I hope you guys like it.

Thanks to bsloths for beta-reading this just in time to be posted as a birthday fic.

DISCLAIMER: I had begged and I had threatened but all in vain.


She fidgeted, ran her fingers up and down the length of his arm, even made a rhythmic taping noise with her fingers… While he simply chose not to look up from his dreadful auto magazine.

Casey sighed and settled back to watch a rerun of a hockey match. (And why exactly were they watching hockey while he was also reading about it?)After roughly twenty seconds of silent self torture though she lifted her foot up again and ran her toes up his calf. Derek in response shifted his position letting her foot drop! Now for the third time in a row. His nose still buried in the magazine.

He was reading and it wasn't porn, who would have guessed? But then who knows maybe these car magazines had articles on new ways of doing it in the backseats.

You really think him being twenty one now would get in the way of plush beige interiors which come with slide in beds for the extra comfort…?

The point though was that it proved that Emily had been wrong…Hurrah! for that because there was nothing…Nothing at all going on between Casey and Derek…No denial or such, it simply wasn't there.

It couldn't be…It was ridiculous, far-fetched, Implausible, absolutely out of question…

Probably not. Nobody had majored Derek & Casey 101 like Emily had.

And she had had a point…somewhat.

Casey's first reaction had been that of dilemma, how exactly was she supposed to tell her best friend that she was being delusional? That perhaps a therapy session was long overdue.

"Don't look at me like that Casey. I'm not mad."

"Now now Emily, I know you're stressed out about accidentally running into Sheldon the other day, but that…."

"Oh Shut up McDonald." her friend who looked exasperated beyond repair had cut in, "this has nothing to do with Sheldon, whom I should mention I will be meeting up tonight…"

"Really? Is it like a date? "

"Yes, maybe, I actually think...Oh! Don't you dare change the subject…"

And she was back at it leaving Casey to wonder how exactly the whole ordeal had begun in the first place. She probably (maybe not) would have understood if Emily had accused her of baring up with Derek these days…Even becoming somewhat friendly towards each other if one must insist, But dating him? The very idea ran shivers down her spine (oh! for the love of God, not the good ones people, the cold creepy ones…What is wrong with all of you anyway?)

For all the insight Emily claimed to have on relationships, her logic was pretty screwed up.

So she had to go do Derek's laundry this Saturday morning…So what? It had more to do with a bet and making deals as tools of survival than her wanting to wash his clothes. She also had dinner plans with him…But c'mon Lizzie was also going to be there. It was a freaking family affair!

And then Lizzie had ditched them at the last moment.

"So there are no dinner plans?"

Oh! Was there no way of getting out of this? She could lie of course, but …"Not really. I got the reservation with much difficulty. So me and…And Derek would have dinner…"

Emily raised an eyebrow…

"Em! It would be sinful to waste a reservation at the Olives."

"Yes. Yes I understand. Do go on. What about Sunday?"

"I have to go shopping."

"With?"

"Oh okay …With Derek but that is because the other part of the deal was that if I do his laundry, he comes shopping with me…"

"What was the bet again?"

"It was…" Casey stopped. She freaking had no idea. "I ...I don't remember."

Emily grinned.

And just like that the root cause of her life issues, the dreaded seed of suspicion had been planted.

Casey sighed. She really needed to get to the bottom of this.

Something more accurate than trying to seduce (and failing) an otherwise preoccupied Derek.

And she had just the plan.

Heck! She had written a song on it! There was no better way…


"You bought pizzas?" Derek looked up in shock. "No, carrot sticks and tofu."

Casey nodded sincerely, well as sincerely as she could; there was no need of getting Derek suspicious about poisoning and such.

You see, the thing was that this was her first step in her fool proof plan. Pizzas were a sure winner in getting to Derek Venturi's heart and all its little secrets. It was bound to work.

"How do they taste?" she asked as Derek took the first bite.

"Ummm…The usual."

Oh thank God! Casey almost jumped with joy. He found them usual…Not great, better or splendid.

" Just usual?" she squealed as Derek gave her a strange look before shrugging, "Yeah, usual."

Casey McDonald then almost passed out with relief. True, she had actually been rooting for him throwing the disgusting thing away, but the usual was okay by his standards. This was Derek after all.

It was enough to show Emily.

"Actually," Derek suddenly announced, "I think I do like pineapple and anchovies together after all. It tastes better this way."

Damn!

"What's wrong Case?" Derek asked through a mouth full, "You look a little green."

Tears stinging her eyes, Casey stood up, "De-rek, you're gross."

Derek watched her slam the door on her way out, shrugging he went back to his food.


"Hangover? Haven't we seen that already?" Derek asked through another mouthful of cheese, pineapple and anchovy. The disgusting combination now made a special on their movie night menu. Not only did Derek thoroughly enjoy them, he thought they were a Casey favorite too.

It was enough to make Casey gag and want to throw up.

"Yeah. But I want to notice if you laugh louder this time." Suddenly the lace pattern on his shoes was very intriguing.

"Huh?" Derek questioned "is this some kind of a survey for your creepy 'I –can't pronounce-them' classes?"

"Yes…Yes can we just get to it now?" She still refused to look up.

He did laugh louder, in fact he almost doubled over at one scene while Casey quietly sobbed in one corner.

And it didn't really solve matters when that Tuesday evening when Casey went to watch his game, he scored the winning goal…

Damn! Damn! Damn!

She for one had only Emily to blame for this.


It's not like she had never opened her wardrobe before…But it's the first time she takes notice of it…Them.

It's everywhere.

His jacket is hung in the corner, his sweatshirts are folded in a pile over her own shirts. His suede shoes are thrown carelessly over in a corner. Her house was littered with AutoCar.

Her medicine cabinet had a stock of his prescribed pain killers. Even his spare tooth brush was lying in her bathroom.

How much time had he been spending in her apartment after all?

Casey flung herself on the bed, openly wailing this time.

She was dating Derek Venturi, She had been for the past three years…It had only sunk in now.


She chose not to use the key this time and simply knocked.

Her worst fears were confirmed when Derek opened the door to her apartment.

"We need to talk." She began her much rehearsed speech. It was all for the best after all.

"Look Casey if this has anything to do with your crazy assignments then you can forget it. I will not play a guinea …"

"We need to break up."

"What?" he looked almost comically at her in surprise, "what do you mean?"

"We can't date Derek. We hate each other…" she waited for him to respond but his face remained impassive as he motioned for her to continue, "Two people who hate each other cannot date."

Derek looked at her closely for one full minute. His face carefully blank before nodding, "okay, considers ourselves now officially not dating. Okay?"

"Okay." This had been easy, a little too easy in fact...

"Can you now do my clothes?"


She was at it again, this time with a little more effort as she tried to get his attention.

Derek shoved her ascending foot away , "What now?" He asked with annoyance.

"We need closure…"

"Oh! God Casey, what's that now?"

"A proper break up Derek…We were dating for almost three years, the least we deserve is a proper break up."

"And that would be?"

She had no idea…Her dating record wasn't very impressive but each had been a fully closed chapter, this for some reason had loop holes and little openings everywhere…

She still ran into him often, they were still traveling together to London for weekends, family was still discussed and general banter still continued…Hell! They had so many bets and deals to get over with that they still went for dinner and shopping together. He even spent the night on her couch ever so often.

It was just plain wrong…

With Sam she had agreed to remain friends, with Max she had made a little closure ceremony and however reluctantly it may have been she had successfully ended it and Truman had been a full blown fight when she had found a not so modestly dressed Vicky in his room…

Her options therefore were limited, the first was obviously out of the question, the last didn't seem to fit.

"We need a closure ceremony."

Derek backed off, "No…No. I'm not celebrating this ...This break up or whatever with you."

"Oh! Please Derek. We need to do something…I have tried so hard to feel broken about it. I haven't even gorged on comfort food yet or heard angry girl rock music! I don't even know which date to mark in the calendar as our ex-anniversary. You have to help me."

"You want closure because you want to cry about it?" Derek asked incredulously.

Casey nodded, "it's important."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I realized it so late that we were dating that I don't even have memories to haunt me." And seriously, if you couldn't vent out horrid fights and reminisce about soul full romantic moments, what was the need of break ups anyway.

"Is this all alphabetically marked in your –how-to-breakup- rule book?"

"De-rek… Are you going to help me or not?"

"Sorry princess…This entire thing was your idea. Do whatever suits your fancy. "

Casey's eyes suddenly lit up, "wait! I know exactly how to fix this up."

Derek rolled his eyes, "why don't I have a good feeling about this?"

"Oh! This is perfect…Absolutely brilliant." Casey continued to gush at her personal enlightenment while Derek mumbled something which sounded suspiciously like 'not again'.

"Derek, we should start dating again."

"What?" his precious magazine almost slipped through his fingers.

"We should start dating again," she repeated with a wide eyed lost puppy look.

"Again? As in round two?"

"Yeah…And this time we'll do it right."

Derek chuckled inspite of himself , "You mean this time you want to follow all the rules."

"Exactly." Casey said flushing with happiness, "we need to start dating again..."

"So that we can break off properly…" Derek finished for her. "How did I ever get caught up in this mess?"

"I take that as a yes…" Casey smiled somewhat shyly, her heart picking up a beat for no apparent reason.

She paused at the door however, "You can pick me up for dinner tomorrow night."

"Wasn't I going to in any case? " Derek enquired.

"True. But now you bring me flowers."

And she was out, missing the grin which broke on Derek's face…Life with Casey McDonald could be anything but boring.

She returned two minutes later, claiming it was her apartment.


So? Please review. For the sake of celebrating getting older...:)

Frankly only Casey would want to seduce someone in order to break up with them....That girl!