AN: Another Boxed In story. ^ ^ But that's at the begining, soon the story will take a little twist. But of course not without the hurt! and sick!Tony;D
And a big thank you to my beta lauradaexplorer! *hugs*
They had all been there. All, except me.
No, not quite true. They had not all been there, because even though he knew what Ziva had made for dinner and claimed that it tasted good, I knew that our team leader Leroy Jethro Gibbs had not been there. I knew this because Gibbs, and I had spent the last night together at home. We watched some movies and later Jethro had worked on his boat, while I watched him.
But why was he claiming that he had been present at Ziva's dinner? Wasn't it bad enough that everyone was invited but me? It was important to me, what the other members of the team thought about me. It was important, that they liked me. Jethro knew that. For the first time in my life I had found a real family and I didn't want to disappoint them. But apparently I had done that, because why else should Ziva not have invited me? The only question that rattled around in my hed was; what I had done? I can't think of anything. I don't know if I had done something. The boss and I being in a relationship can't be the reason. Because no one, except Abby and Ducky, knew about it. But otherwise I had behaved as normal. But perhaps that was exactly the problem. I knew that I was sometimes quite annoying, and I behaved like a five year old. The pranks against McGee, the verbal exchanges with Ziva, throwing paper balls at my colleagues while working and playing Tetris on my phone.
But all that was just me. I wanted to toughen McGee up a little, so he learned not to take everything so personally. And also because he was like a little brother. And thats what big brothers do. They are annoying. That is their job. And the word exchanges with Ziva. I always thought she also had fun. Apparently I was mistaken. As for the other things. Yeah, I get bored quickly. But none of those things had ever stopped me doing my job. I would never do any of this, if I had more important things to actually do. A had little bit of professionalism after all.
I don't understand any of this. Why were all the others invited and not me? Wait a minute. Jethro had been invited as well? He knew what Ziva had made for dinner. Which did not necessarily mean anything, because by now I knew it as well. After all, they had told me about it the whole day. Thats what really hurts. I would never admit it out loud. It was bad enough that they had all been invited. I mean, even Jimmy, the autopsie-gremmlin, but to rub under my nose and to tell me how great the food was and how much fun they had ....
Above all, I had never expected that from Abby. Abby, my best friend, my little sister. I had always talked with her, about everything, she and Gibbs were the only ones I told aboud my past. She knew that I never had a real family life, and that I looked at the team as family. She had even agreed with me on that point.
"This is good, Tony, we are your family and we will always be there for you." She had said.
Yeah, I could see that. A really great family! But Jethro was the person I was really disappointed in. He knew that they had hurt me, and instead of putting a stop to it, or being on my side, he had to pretend as if he had been at the dinner too. His statement had surprised me and for a moment, my mask slipped and my true feelings showed on my face. And Gibbs had seen it and immediately regretted his statement. In his eyes sparkled the apology, but I ignored it. Instead, I concentrated to get my mask on again.
The others had noticed nothing, because they were too busy to go through the highlights of the evening again and laugh about how much fun they had.....
I took a couple of deep breaths - I hoped unnoticeably. The numbness in my shoulder left slowly. Great, not only that my head is hurting unpleasantly now, but my shoulder ached too. The others thought I just caught a splinter in the shootout , because that was what I had told Ziva. Why? No idea. Yeah, sometimes I overreact a bit, if I had a paper cut, but if it was something worse, then I played it down. I don't even know why I did that, maybe it was because I had taken care of myself most of my life. Maybe I just hated to be pitied. But yes, I probably just didn't want my friends to worry about me. The truth was that I had caught more than just a splinter. A through and through. There were no muscles injured or anything, but it wouldn't be long until it hurt like hell.
But at the moment I didn't care.
The chattering had come to end. Gibbs had brought the whole conversation to an end after he had placed himself at his desk. Maybe he had a guilty conscience, maybe he just wanted to hear no more about it. I had no idea and I didn't care about that at the moment either. Now they were all busy writing their reports. For me, progress was slow. I wasn't particularly good anyway when it came to typing on the computer. Sure, I was getting better, but I was - apart from Gibbs - still the slowest. Now I had only one arm available. The whole situation was only getting worse and not for the first time that evening I just wanted to leave. Simply get out, get fresh air and be alone.
This time the urge was just too great. So I got up and had just rounded my desk as Gibbs cleared his throat, "Going somewhere, DiNozzo? I can't see your report on my desk" He sounded angry. He was angry, but a look in his eyes told me that the anger wasn't directed at me. He was probably angry at himself, but as I said, I didn't care.
"I just have to hit the head, boss." I said, trying to make my voice sound as calm as possible. I myself was a little surprised how well I managed it. Gibbs features were immediately softer and he nodded shortly. As if I would need his permission. As fast as I could, I made my way towards the men's room. Probably it was because of exhaustion, but since I had gotten up from my desk, I felt a little dizzy. Now I had another problem. Actually I had planned to go outside to take a breath after a day in a container and especially because I wanted to be alone. Okay, so I was alone now, but in the men's room. Gibbs would never have allowed me to go outside and because of my little lie I didn't have my keys, my wallet my badge or my jacket. And outside it was anything but warm.
But I didn't have to use the toilet. A little freshening up, however, was perhaps not a bad idea. So I walked to the sink, collected some water in my free hand and splashed it in my face. It would have been better if I could use both of my hands. Anyway, today I just took anything I could get. A look in the mirror, however, told me that I should probably just lie down here and now on the floor and end the day. I looked at least as tired as I felt. I was too pale and I had dark circles under the eyes. I looked like I had not slept for at least three days. I had to get out in any case, whether Gibbs allowed it or not.
Anyway, I didn't care what Gibbs had to say. And so I just went out.