DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Bleach or it's characters, Tite Kubo does.
Nnoitra's Plot, Ulquiorra's Surprise?
Life returned to normal at Las Noches High after a few days, the flu bug having worked it's way thoroughly through the populace. A strange sense of anticipation filled the halls now, and the students quickly returned to their normal routines. The school day started as usual for Starrk and Lilynette, each greeting their respective circle of friends. The lazy young man couldn't help but be happy for his younger sister, for she had finally found friends closer to her own age.
Lilynette and Momo discussed current school events while Kiyone was arguing with another boy over who had the better GPA, as well as which one could complete their assignments the fastest.
The new boy in the group was slightly taller and sported black hair, providing quite a contrast to Kiyone's bright blonde. He was wearing the standard male uniform, with the only accessory a white headband.
"Pfffft, the day you beat MY GPA, I'll eat my cell phone!", Kiyone shouted confidently at the slightly taller male student. "Besides, if memory serves me right, you're sucking big time in math Sentaro!"
"I've had a couple of minor, MINOR might I say, mishaps but you know I'll rebound!" Sentaro replied as the group made their way to the school entrance.
"Hah! You're a bigger dolt than I thought!"
"Not as big a dolt as you Kiyone!"
The two then found themselves arguing over who was the bigger moron as Lilynette and Momo ignored them.
"I swear, those two are secretly attracted to one another." Lilynette whispered to her friend.
"Oh my, they would certainly make an interesting couple" Momo said as she was trying to control her laughter.
"I know right?" Lilynette replied, "I'd hate to see their honeymoon though."
At that point, Momo could not help but find herself lost in a giggle fit. Despite the thought making her shudder a bit, Lilynette found the idea disturbingly funny as well. Of course both students knew that the image that they suddenly painted in their minds would never come to pass in real life.
Elsewhere, Starrk met up with Grimmjow, who had made a full recovery from the illness.
"So, I see your sister's fitting in pretty quickly." Grimmjow said, observing Lilynette amongst her friends.
"Yeah, I'm somewhat surprised she made friends so quickly on the first day." Starrk replied inbetween yawns.
"I'm not" Grimmjow said, "She always struck me as a social butterfly."
"I guess so." Starrk replied lazily.
"You know man, you can't always be there for Lily." Grimmjow said, "She's got to make her own fuck ups once in awhile."
"I know that, but still, she's all the family I got. Aside from my uncles of course." Starrk replied.
"I suppose your right, I wouldn't know since I don't have any siblings." Grimmjow replied.
"Honestly, that's a good thing" Starrk said jokingly.
"The hell do you mean by that?" Grimmjow replied.
"If you had a younger brother you'd bully the little guy constantly, and if you had a younger sister, you'd be completely whipped." Starrk replied.
"Ah, what do you know." Grimmjow said as he lightly and playfully socked Starrk on the arm.
Showing absolutely no learning curve, or perhaps proving that there is such a thing as a negative curve, Nnoitra was once more stalking the parking lot, completely focused on Starrk. Muttering to himself, he watched the pair walking towards the school, trying to adjust to his new lack of depth perception. Unable to accept that his recent traumas were in any way, shape, or form his fault, Nnoitra grumbled as he blamed Starrk for everything, declaring him mentally to be his arch nemesis. Remembering the sleepy student's surprising fighting skills, and showing just a tiny shred of self-preservation, Nnoitra realized that a direct physical confrontation was out of the question. Going through his loved ones was out of the question as well, shuddering as he remembered the aftermath. He did have a vague idea of how to strike back, but no idea yet as how to pull it off.
Grimmjow and Starrk made it to their first class, only to be greeted with the sight of the newly returned Mr. Ukitake, much to Yylfordt's dismay. Yoruichi Shinhouen did prove to be very popular with the student body, but there was always something about Juushiro Ukitake that seemed to inspire everyone he came in contact with, and his classes couldn't think of life without the rather sickly instructor.
Having had extra time to prepare a lesson due to his prolonged sick leave, Mr. Ukitake had an awesome lesson planned on the rise of the Roman Empire. At first Grimmjow had no interest, after all it WAS still a history lesson. Once started to get into graphic detail of some of the bloodier battles of expansion, however, Grimmjow perked up dramatically. Despite the dramatic use of miniatures and slideshows, though, Starrk couldn't resist the siren call of sleep. Mr. Ukitake, seeing this, simply smiled to himself and continued teaching the lesson, musing on how he and his uncle seem to share a good amount of traits. Just as the lesson was really getting going, the bell rang, signalling that the two friends would have to part ways for a little bit.
"See ya at PE Starrk", Grimmjow said as he snickered, "Let's hope Yachiru doesn't run you ragged again"
"Yeah yeah 'Kitty'" Starrk replied sarcasticaly as the two students made their way to their respective classes.
Starrk's next class was Science, with Mr. Urahara. He looked forward to this class every day, mostly for the chance to share some time with his beautiful lab partner. Excellent compant notwithstanding, Starrk looked forward to this class for the inevitable explosions and fireworks, which usually happened at least once a day.
"I'm glad to see you're feeling better Starrk" Tia said as she greeted and embraced her beloved.
"As am I, although I am going to miss cuddling close to you." Starrk replied sweetly, returning the embrace.
"One thing I WON'T miss though... Szayel in one of those Candy Striper outfits." Tia said, shuddering at the memory.
"Oh, tell me about it..." Starrk replied as he also shuddered, "Though they did look nice on Nel and Lily."
"That's true." Tia replied, "Lily was especially eager to help out wasn't she?"
"Yeah." Starrk answered, "It was rather cute, but kinda frightening at the same time."
Tia giggled at Starrk's assessment, and the couple sat down and began to focus on their assignment. Looking over at her boyfriend, Tia was mildly astonished that the normally sleepy student was wide awake and looking around. In a previous class, Tia had asked Starrk why he stays awake for this class and sleeps through the others. Starrk had told her that he liked explosions and considering who was teaching the class, he didn't want to suddenly fall prey to an experiment. Tia once again found herself giggling at her boyfriend's responses.
Having easily completed the day's assignment in record time, Szayel Apporo Grantz was quite busy on a project of his own. Being the curious sorts they were, and having virtually no self-preservation instinct, Nakeem and Di-Roy approached the busy scientist in training.
"Huh huh huh huh, So like when are you gonna make us something to help us pick up chicks?" Nakeem asked.
"Yeah, heh heh heh heh, we wanna score!" Di-Roy added in, "Give us the stuff!"
"Ugh..." Szayel replied, "Can you two barbarians PLEASE get away, I'm conducting some very important research! Besides, I don't have time to focus on such a trivial matter as 'picking up chicks'."
"Woah!" Nakeem stated as he observed and picked up a nearby bottle, "What's this do? It's like really shiny."
"No no no! Put that down, these chemicals are not meant for children to play with." Szayel replied, trying to get the two other students to comply.
"Hey I want to see the bottle too buttmunch!" Di-Roy stated as he reached for the bottle.
"No way dillhole! I'm looking at it" Nakeem replied as his gaze remained fixated on the bottle.
"It's my turn to look fartknocker!" Di-Roy said as he punched Nakeem.
The punch caused the larger student to drop the bottle, which then broke and splashed all over Szayel.
"Damn it all! Not only have you ruined my clothes but you destroyed my concoction before I even had a chance to test it!" Szayel said, frustrated with the two moronic students.
"Huh huh huh huh, he said 'Cock'" Nakeem said as he was laughing. Di-Roy simply laughed along with the larger student in addition to making a spring like sound.
"Now I must return home to shower and change..." Szayel muttered as he stormed out of the classroom.
"Huh huh huh huh huh huh What a dork!" Nakeem said as he observed the clearly irritated Szayel.
"Yeah heh heh heh heh, he'll never score!" Di-Roy chimed in, acting as if the bottle in question never existed.
Back at Tia and Starrk's table, the couple could not help but observe the event that just transpired.
"I can only wonder what sort of bizarre reaction that strange chemical is gonna cause..." Tia wondered aloud.
"Who knows with Szayel." Starrk added in lazily.
"Say Tia, You want to head out for lunch today?" Starrk asked, quickly changing the subject.
"Sure, it's a rather nice day and I'm in the mood for something different anyway." Tia replied.
"Awesome" Starrk replied, "We'll meet up after P.E. Then?"
"That works." Tia replied.
Just as the couple finished their mini-conversation, the bell signalling the end of second period rang. P.E. class was the same as usual, no change in the routine. Yammy, Poww, and Edorad were lifting weights, Grimmjow was engaged in a table top tennis match with Yylfordt, and Starrk was, once again, being run around the gym by the assistant coach/mascot, Yachiru. Before long, the bell rang once more, this time signaling lunch. Once clean and changed back into his normal school attire, Starrk made his way over to Tia's locker to meet up for lunch. As the couple started to head towards the parking lot, Nelliel watched them go and decided to follow them out of curiosity.
"Woah, where's Nel going?" Grimmjow thought to himself as he quickly began to follow Nelliel.
Once the couple made their way to Starrk's car, they quickly embraced each other. But before they could do much more, let alone leave for lunch, Nelliel had caught up with them.
"Hey, where are you two heading off to?" Nelliel inquired.
"'Bel and I were gonna head out for lunch today." Starrk replied as he began to blush slightly.
"Starrk and I thought it would be a good idea to do something a little different today since the weather is so lovely." Tia added.
"Suuuuuuure you were." Nelliel said grinning mischieviously, "Then you two were gonna sneak off somewhere to play kissy face."
Starrk and Tia remained silent as they both blushed slightly, despite the couple being used to Nelliel's tendency to pick and play.
"Aww, don't get flustered now, I was only playing." Nelliel said trying to break the awkward silence, "I was gonna ask if you wouldn't mind Grimm and I coming along as well."
"Sure." Starrk said lazily.
"I don't see where would be a problem." Tia added in, relaxing as their complexions returned to normal.
"Awesome, and besides, I figured Grimm would want to get out also. Plus, I wanted to talk with you guys about something anyway." Nelliel said as she looked around, grinning as she spotted a very familar figure advancing on them.
"Well, speak of the devil." Starrk said as the figure approached.
"Hey, what's going on here, you guys planning something fun without me? What the hell man?" Grimmjow said.
"Oh Kitty-Chan, don't be so grouchy. I was asking Starrk and Tia if we could join them for an off-campus lunch." Nelliel said as she playfully poked her boyfriend.
"'Kitty-chan?'" Starrk asked trying not to snicker.
"Pffffft Fuck you 'El Lobo'" Grimmjow said jokingly.
Starrk simply grinned as he observed Nelliel playfully poking Grimmjow.
"So, where are we going for lunch anyway?" Tia asked.
"Ooooh I say we should go to that new pizza place. I've heard nothing but good things about it plus, it's not too far from the school." Nelliel replied.
"Sounds good to me." Grimmjow added,
"Besides, they're serving the 'Mystery Meat' again... I don't feel like getting the shits or puking my guts out."
"I'm actually in the mood for pizza, oddly enough." Tia said.
"Pizza does sound pretty good." Starrk added in his usual lazy tone.
"Then it's decided!" Nelliel said cheerfully, "Pizza it is!"
With their lunch plan worked out, both couples headed to their respective vehicles and then drove off for the pizza place. Upon arrival, the first thing they all noticed was the strange name of the establishment. The sign was a bright neon purple color which read 'Gluttoneria', framed by a bright blue border. The rest of the building seemed rather normal on the outside, with Roman-inspired decor on the inside.
"Woah" Grimmjow saw as he stared at the rather strange sign, "What the hell kinda name is 'Gluttoneria' for a pizza joint?"
"I think it's kinda fitting, considering how much SOME people can eat" Nelliel said as she playfully poked the blue haired student.
Starrk snickered slightly at the little scene taking place, and joined the rest of the crew inside the restaurant. Quickly scanning the room, the group was mildly surprised to see a good amount of other students taking their lunch here. Apache and Mila Rose were sitting at a table, arguing over something trivial in very loud voices. Ggio Vega, Yylfordt and Edorad were sitting on the other side of the room, having a spirited discussion about some of the new game titles being released soon. A few tables over, Avirama and Findor were sitting at their table watching Nirgge waste time at the dessert table. The heavy set student couldn't quite make up his mind, asking tons of questions about each dessert much to the frustration of the worker. Yammy had a table to himself, sitting almost next to Ggio, Edorad and Yylfordt.
While quickly devouring his five large pizzas and large drink, Yammy was looking around the restaurant, taking in the decor and taking extra time to examine the various togas featured in several scenes.
As Starrk stood around taking this all in, he was suddenly ambushed from behind by a small jumping figure.
"There you are Starrky!" A young, semi-shrill voice sounded, "I was wondering where the hell you were!"
"Lilynette, watch your language and how on earth did you get here?" Starrk replied, concerned.
"Momo and I rode here with Yylfordt and Ggio." Lilynette replied plainly, "And I figured you guys were gonna come here anyway."
Starrk remained silent as he went to go join Grimmjow, Tia, and Nelliel at their table, which just happened to be right next to the one that Lilynette and Momo had claimed. Indeed, Grimmjow had already pushed the tables together upon request of the girls.
"So, who's getting what?" Grimmjow asked as he took his seat next to Nelliel, "I'm getting the meat lovers, looks pretty good."
"Lily and I already placed our order" Momo said.
"Cheese for me!" Nelliel replied happily.
"Pepperoni." Starrk added, "Make it a large."
This came as a slight surprise to Nelliel and Grimmjow , since Starrk wasn't known to be a heavy eater. After a moment, Nelliel quickly figured out Starrk's real intentions, planning to share his pizza with Tia.
"Dude!" Grimmjow blurted out, "Are you fucking SERIOUS? You're actually going to eat decent sized portions?"
"Well... I... um..." Starrk stammered as he blushed slightly, which caused Lilynette to burst into a giggle fit, "I planned to share mine with Bel."
"That's sweet of you Starrk, but you don't have to be so generous." Tia said lovingly as she hugged the still blushing Starrk.
"It's alright Bel, I don't mind." Starrk said with a gentle smile as he returned the hug.
"Hey now, don't you two get TOO cozy now, I DO want to eat you know." Lilynette said sarcastically. Momo giggled quietly at her friend's response.
Tia and Starrk simply remained silent while Grimmjow and Nelliel were laughing at Lilynette's statement.
"So, what did you want to talk to us about Nel?" Starrk said, having regained his composure.
"Well, as you guys know, UIqui's birthday is today and I thought it would be really awesome if we threw him a surprise party." Nelliel said.
"What? Throw that little emo fuck a party? Nel? Babe? Are you alright?" Grimmjow asked, shocked at Nelliel's proposal.
"Aw come on now Grimm, everyone should be allowed to have fun sometimes, without having to be under the influence of one of Szayel's failed potions." Nelliel replied, reasoning with her boyfriend.
"This IS Ulquiorra we're talking about here Nel." Starrk added, "The guy's almost like an android or something, I dunno if he's even CAPABLE of having fun."
"He sure was having fun the night of the dance when he wore that Ziggy Stardust outfit." Tia said, trying not to giggle at the mental image her statement conjured.
"Yea he was, even though he drank some of Szayel's Smart Ass Potion or whatever the fuck he calls that shit." Grimmjow replied, bursting out in laughter as he recalled that event.
"You know, speaking of Szayel, do you think he's alright?" Nelliel asked, "I mean who knows what was in that stuff Nakeem and Di Roy accidentally splashed on him."
Just as Nel was wondering as to the state of their fellow student, a rather loud, panicked scream was heard from outside, immediately seizing the attention of everyone in the restaurant.
Thanks to the oversized picture window, the students watched as a thin, blue haired student wearing glasses and a gray school uniform was running past the restaurant, almost as if he was deeply terrified by whatever was in hot pursuit . As he ran out of sight at a surprisingly high speed, the students looked at each other, wondering what could have prompted that display. Their curiosity was soon satisfied, for running in comparatively slow motion was the cause of the panic.
Following the blue haired student's path, although at a far more leisurely pace due to the bouncy moon shoes on his feet, was none other than Szayel himself, a rather demented yet gleeful expression on his face. The moon shoes alone would have been enough to capture the attention of his unexpected audience, but alas for the watchers, they were by far his most normal piece of attire.
His eyes were covered by large WWI-era aviator goggles, complimented by a flowing red scarf tied around his neck. In his hands were clutched a halfway-shucked ear of corn and tube of some form of lubricant, which was leaving a trail behind him due to the excessively tight grip. All of this would have been odd by itself, but the highlight was by far the chain that was bouncing in the air with each step from around waist level, with a good size blue cross dangling from the end. Overall, this would have been not too bad, for Szayel at least, if the rest of him wasn't completely naked. Given the location of the chain, and the lack of a belt or any support, Szayel was quite accidentally revealing not only his surprisingly impressive anatomy, but a very unique piercing location.
Szayel was giggling maniacally with each step, until he finally spotted his quarry.
"Come back here Red Baron!", the clearly drugged-out-of-his-mind student cried, grinning wickedly at his prey.
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEY!" The bespectled student shouted from a distance as he continued to run at top speed away from Szayel.
Grimmjow and Starrk watched the scene taking place and remained silent, unable to believe what they were seeing.
"Oh... my..." Nelliel said as she was fighting her laughter, and failing.
"Wha... what is that... on his...?" Tia said trying to regain her composure.
"WOOOOOO! NICE ASS PINKY!" Mila Rose shouted as she viewed the genius's naked form while Apache simply wolf whistled.
"HOLY SHIT PINKY'S PACKING!" Lilynette shouted as she too beheld the sight before her.
"This was NOT something I wanted to see during lunch." Momo said as she was trying to cover her eyes.
Starrk and Grimmjow were frozen in place, silent as their brains tried to work around what they just witnessed. Grimmjow is the first to crack, busting out in hysterical laughter. A little further down, Ggio turns to Yylfordt with a puzzled look on his face.
"Dude..." Ggio said, "How in the hell can you STAND to live with that guy? I mean, what goes on inside his head to make him do weird shit like that?"
"You so don't want to know bro, you SO don't want to know." Yylfordt replied as he placed his hand over his face, shaking his head slowly with a resigned look.
Once the group composed themselves, and they received their food, they went back to the previous topic of discussion, Ulquiorra's surprise party.
"So you think the little emo bastard's gonna LET us throw him a party?" Grimmjow said.
"Now now Grimm" Nelliel replied, "It wouldn't be a SURPRISE party if the little guy knew about it, would it?"
"I dunno, it's just that I never think of the guy as the 'Let's get people together and have fun' type." Grimmjow said as he began to tear into his lunch.
"Hmm, if we're going to keep this a secret, someone's going to have to distract Ulquiorra and somehow get him to the party without arousing suspicion." Starrk chimed in.
"Leave that one to Sunsun" Tia replied, "She can distract him, and then claim that she needs to pick up something for a school project when she leads him to the party."
"Hah, where's she going to take him to kill time, the graveyard?" Lilynette chimed in, "I mean, he looks like a freaking vampire the way he dresses."
"Hahahahaha! Good one munchkin" Grimmjow replied laughing.
"Lily..." Starrk said sternly.
"What? You know it's true." Lilynette replied.
"I just thought of a good question, where are we going to have the party? His house would be out if we're going to keep it a surprise." Momo asked.
"That's a good question Momo.", Lilynette replied, "Ulqui-bat probably wouldn't like us trouncing around on his turf anyway."
"Can't have it at my house, the place is kinda small, and I don't think he'd ever willingly come over, even if Sunsun drags him." Grimmjow said plainly.
"Mine's out too..." Nelliel added, "Not that my brothers would mind or anything, but it's already pretty cramped."
"Our place is out too." Starrk said. "The neighbors would probably get annoyed at us."
"Mom wouldn't like a lot of people in the house at one time." Tia added, "So my house is out too..."
"Dudes, you guys are planning a party and you didn't consult me?" a familiar voice stated as it approached closer.
"Oh, hey Yylfordt, when the fuck are you gonna have your crazy ass little brother committed?" Grimmjow asked, laughing at the embarassed look on the blonde haired student's face.
"We've tried, numerous times..." Yylfordt muttered. "Anyway, I over heard you guys are planning to throw the Dark Knight a party, so why not throw it at my house?"
"Dude... you KNOW who lives there right?" Grimmjow said.
"Yeah I know that bro, but as long as we stay out of 'Dorkster's Lab' we'll be fine. Besides I've got all the party essentials, a big screen TV, multiple gaming consoles, and a decent sized living room." Yylfordt explained.
"Dude... big screen TV?" Grimmjow replied, "AND MULTIPLE gaming consoles? FUCK YES!"
"What about your parents Yylfordt? Wouldn't they object to us having a party? And, of course there's still Szayel to worry about." Starrk said plainly.
"Aww, Szayel isn't THAT bad, so he decided to randomly streak and show off his rather large and pierced junk, big deal," Nelliel added, trying to hold back her giggles.
"Dad's goes on a lot of overseas buisness trips and Mom works back-to-back shifts at the hospital, so they're hardly ever home." Yylfordt replied, "Even if they WERE home they wouldn't mind a party, though it'd be supervised."
"Hmm, it wouldn't be unreasonable for Sunsun to come up with some excuse to pick up something from your house, so this could work..", Starrk mused.
"Yea, she can say that she needs to borrow a rare scientific text or something." Tia added, supporting Starrk's musings.
"That works." Starrk said lazily, draping his arm around Tia's shoulders.
"Sweet digs, awesome tech, and no supervision?" Grimmjow said, "Shit man, you've got like the perfect party place!"
"So, you guys want to throw the party at my house?" Yylfordt asked.
"Sure, even if it WASN'T Batman's birthday, we'd HAVE to throw a party there anyway." Grimmjow replied eagerly.
"What about me?" Lilynette asked, "I hope I'M invited."
"Of course you are Lily, if you wanted to go that is, and that goes for your friends Momo and Kiyone too." Starrk replied.
"Yay!" Lilynette cheered as she gave her older brother a big hug, Momo simply smiling at the tender-hearted scene before her.
"Aside from myself, Grimm, Starrk, Tia, Lily, Momo, Kiyone, Szayel, Yylfordt, Sunsun, and the guest of honor, who else is gonna be attending this birthday bash?" Nelliel asked.
"Hm, I think we should invite Yammy, Ggio and Edorad if they want, and since Sunsun's going, Apache and Mila Rose will want to go too.", Tia chimed in.
"That sounds about good, we don't want it too large, and we know everybody, so that works.", Grimmjow replied.
"Wait a sec." Nelliel said, "What about Tesla?"
"Good luck with the one Nel, Tesla's Spoon-Fucker's little bitch." Grimmjow replied, "He'd never come to a party that his precious 'master' wasn't invited to.
Starrk nodded in agreement, starting to feel a bit drowsy from his lunch, and looked to Yyolfordt. "Sure it's not too much trouble to throw the party tonight?"
"Nah man, it's cool. We can made a food stop after school, and I don't think he'd like a lot of decorations anyway. Besides, we have a lot of freaky looking stuff in the house, and any kind of music you want.", Yylfordt replied.
"Alright, yay, it's settled! Now we've just got to talk to Sunsun and get a list of what we need!", Nelliel chimed in, grinning widely at the thought of party planning.
Tia nodded, leaning into Starrk's embrace. "I'll talk to Sunsun next class period, I'm sure she'd have no problem helping us out."
"Tia and I can head over to Yylfordt's place early to help decorate and get the party stuff set up, then, and Starrk and Grimm can go make the food run.", Nelliel added, practically bouncing in her seat with all the excitement.
Grimmjow shrugged in agreement, knowing that he'd find a food run far less boring than decorating for the Bat's party, and Starrk nodded his assent as well.
"Sounds good Nel, and hey, who knows, this might actually be fun.", Grimmjow said.
Having finished up their lunches and worked out a few more details of their party plans for later, all of the students headed back to school, making it just in time for the class bell. Surprisingly, as they were heading to the front doors, chatting with each other, they were joined by none other than Szayel, looking about as normal as he usually does and clad in an immaculate school uniform. Practically bounding up the steps to the door, he was whistling a jaunty old seafaring tune. The crowd stopped to look at each other as Szayel left them behind, and snickers were heard from a few of the students.
This event aside, the rest of the school day dragged on for those who knew about the party. The planners were all working out mental lists, and the invitees were curious not only as to what a party for Ulquiorra would be like, but what a party thrown in the home turf of the local mad scientist could be like as well.
Finally, the final bell rung, resulting in the usual exodus of students, with one dragging behind, muttering to himself. Nnoitra, having overheard party planning snippets, had been waiting for his invitation, only to be shunned. While not surprising to virtually anyone but Nnoitra himself, this act really pissed off the now one-eyed student, to the point where he swore he would follow one of the invitees and crash the party. Perhaps he would have thought twice about this had he overheard where the party was going to be held, but he was past caring about things like that. Finding out that Starrk and Lillynette were going to be present at a supposedly neutral location made him almost drool with thoughts of revenge for his humiliation and mutilation. After a couple of minutes, Nnoitra's 'minion' Tesla approached the lanky student.
"Master Nnoitra," the meek student said, "Did you get your invitation to the party Miss Nelliel is throwing?"
"Fuck NO I didn't!" Nnoitra replied angrily.
"Those stuck up little fuck heads think they're better than me! Well, I'll show those two ass pirates what's what, then I'll have their bitches all to myself." Nnoitra ranted as a perverse grin made it's way onto his face.
Tesla remained silent as his 'Master' ranted and raved. The quiet and reserved student learned quickly that it was best to let Nnoitra vent rather than try to reason with him. Nnoitra continued to rant when suddenly an idea came to the freakishly tall student's mind.
"Hey Tesla, come here..." Nnoitra said, beckoning his servant.
"Alright here's what I want you to do..." the perverted student said as he began to whisper something in Tesla's ear.
Meanwhile with Grimmjow and Starrk...
"Okay, so we're going to head over to Yylfordt's place and scope things out, we'll meet you guys there?", Nel inquired, looking over at Grimmjow and Starrk, the latter of which walking hand-in-hand with Tia.
"Yea, we'll go pick up the food, shouldn't take too long.", Grimmjow replied, a mischevious grin on his face.
Nel, way too excited about the party planning to notice whatever mischief her boyfriend was up to, gave Grimm a big hug and peck on the cheek before bounding to her car, Tia following shortly behind after giving Starrk a tender, sweet kiss.
"So, what's with the grin man?", Starrk drawled, feeling in dire need of a nap if he was to stay awake later.
"Heh, well, it occured to me that a birthday party wouldn't be complete without a birthday cake, and since we're the ones picking up the food, we can get whatever the hell we want! Imagine the look on his face if we get him, say , a pretty princess cake!" Grimmjow snickered at the thought.
Smiling despite himself, Starrk gave his friend a look. "You do know, though, that if we come back with something like that, it might inspire Nel to dress us all up to match the theme..."
Eyes widening at the notion, with a slight twitch, the grin mostly fled Grimmjow's face before he shrugged. "Eh, whatever man, but we're still stuck with whatever they have at the grocery store, there's no time for a custom job. So hey, we might not have a choice."
Shrugging in reply, the friends headed off to the store, figuring that they would be able to get all the listed items in fairly good time. The only delay they faced was in the bakery department, as Grimm agonized between the aforementioned princess cake, and another cake that happened to be in stock but was far more appropriate.
Shopping done with about an hour to spare before Ulquiorra's arrival, Grimmjow and Starrk headed over to the Grantz place, both a little nervous about sharing close quarters with Szayel for any length of time.
"So man, you've been to Yylfordt's place before, right? It doesn't have any freaky inventions hidden in corners or anything, right?", Grimmjow asked his friend.
Surprisingly, Starrk shook his head. "Actually, I've never been to his place before, we tend to hang out either at my place or at someone else's. I think he tries to duck his brother as much as possible."
Suppressing a shudder, Grimmjow pulls up to the address Nelliel gave him, looking at the house in wonder, for indeed it was a surprisingly normal two-story house, if a little on the large side.
Grimmjow was about to second guess the address until Nelliel came running out of the door, big grin on her face as she flying tackled Grimmjow as he got out of the car.
"Perfect timing Grimm-kitty! We're just finishing up the decorations and Szayel helped us and he shared his stash of Pixy Stix with us and we made sure they were normal by testing them on Yylfordt and we ate them all but I had the most and now everything looks all bouncy and quivery!", Nelliel somehow managed to say in one breath, twitching from what appeared to be a massive sugar rush.
Still in the car, Starrk started snickering as a super-hyperactive Nelliel decided that Grimmjow was moving too slow and picked him up in a fireman's carry before he could get a single word out. Getting out to follow his confused friend inside, he smiled warmly as Tia, who was not visibly hyper at all, came out to greet him.
"I'm so happy you're here, I guess everything was pretty easy to get?", Tia asked.
"Yea, we made pretty good time, and even picked up a cake for the birthday boy. I'm glad Sunsun was willing to work with us.", Starrk replied, taking his girlfriend in his arms.
"She was more than happy to help, she wanted to do something for his birthday anyway, but didn't know what to do.", Tia stated, taking Starrk's hand and leading him inside the spacious living room.
As it turned out, Yylfordt wasn't understating all of the amenities, the room was packed with all kinds of entertainment tech, complete with a projection TV and an entire section that could have served as a museum of home video game consoles. The decor, while not as wild as expected, was still rather eccentric, with odd statues and carvings looking down from their places on the wall. Not much decoration was really needed for the party, but the decorators did manage to make a "Happy Birthday Ulquiorra" banner, black and green on white, and found some balloons to match.
As Tia led Starrk over to a comfy, overstuffed loveseat, Nel was alternating between glomping Grimm, who was busy trying to put the food away, and bouncing up and down, babbling happily. Yylfordt was sitting in a chair in the corner, arms crossed and looking wary, jumping only as Szayel barged into the room, clad in a very tasteful white satin Mandarin-style outfit and holding a strange, yet antique looking object.
"Oh, how nice, a larger audience! Nel, I found the instrument I was telling you about!" With a flourish, Szayel set the odd-looking 'instrument', which seemed to be nothing but a weird looking wooden box and a couple of wires sticking out of it, on the coffee table in the living room.
"Um, what the hell kind of instrument is that?", Grimmjow inquired, curious yet hesitant about asking since this was, in fact, Szayel.
"I am not surprised you do not recognize a technological marvel when presented with one, but here, I am feeling tolerant of ignorance today." Ignoring Grimm's snarl, Szayel continued. "This is called a theremin, after the inventor, and is in fact one of the prize pieces of my collection, for not only is it one of the few actually built by Leon Theremin, but is still in working order."
"But how the fuck do you play it, there's no strings or keys?", Grimmjow asked, deciding to voice the question that all save Yylfordt, who was now twitching slightly, were wondering.
"The theremin is unique amongst instruments, for it is played without touching the instrument at all, instead it reads the electrical signature of your hands and feeds the signal to a speaker, which amplifies the sound. In layman's terms, my dear kitty, I wave my hands between these two wires and sound comes out, and the sound changes depending on how and where I wave my hands.", Szayel clarified, quite used to doing so. "And I just happen to be quite proficient with the theremin."
Knowing what was coming, Yylfordt covered his ears with his hands, earning many curious stares. Before anyone could question him, a strange, etherial high-pitched sound started coming from Szayel and his strange contraption. After supposedly "warming up" his instrument, Szayel decided to offer his rendition of the overture of Swan Lake to the crowd, managing to nail the melody as well as can be expected.
"Well, that's... unusual.", Tia said, snuggling with her boyfriend on the loveseat.
"Yea, but it's not half bad, just needs some getting used to.", Starrk replied.
Grin firmly in place, Szayel wrapped up his performance with a flourish, bowing before his audience. "I thought that perhaps the guest of honor might appreciate this, his taste is rather refined."
Grimmjow, shaking his head to get the ringing out of his ears, snorted at that but otherwise said nothing, not wanting to get in any kind of confrontation with the possibly still drugged mad scientist.
Having arranged the food and putting the drinks in the fridge to chill, there was still at least a half hour before Sunsun was supposed to bring Ulquiorra. This worked out quite well, since the guests were starting to arrive, Yammy being the first to make his big, and quite bold entrance clad in nothing but a toga made out of a king size sheet. The toga would have been more impressive if it were not emblazoned with a design of tiny pink flowers swirling on a white background.
"Toga! Toga!". Yammy cried, quite happy in his unconventional attire.
"Um, Yammy man, where did you get that... toga?", Grimmjow asked, snickering and trying to keep a straight face.
"My mom let me use her sheets since mine had to be put in these weird toxic waste barrels.", Yammy replied.
Shortly after the exchange Yammy spotted the snack table. On the table were bags of chips of various flavors and various candies. But the most distinguishing item on the table was the birthday cake. The cake was a short two layer covered in white fondant with a green border and a cartoon style bat with short wings and green crossed eyes.
Unwilling to ask further, the party hosts turned their attentions to the other arriving guest, and before long the entire crew was there save for Sunsun and Ulquiorra. Lillynette kept giggling at Yammy's toga even as she tried to see if there were any Pixy Stix left.
Tesla was, of course the last one to arrive to the party. The blonde, shy student was still unsure as to what Nnoitra was planning, but he did not dare question his master's whims and simply went along with Nnoitra's plans.
Noticing the distinct sound of Ulquiorra's car even over the crowd, Tia waved her hand, getting Nelliel's attention and pointing towards the window.
"Okay everybody, the guest of honor just pulled up, so everyone except for Szayel find someplace to hide, and when he shuts the door behind them, we all jump out and yell "Surprise!".", Nelliel instructed the crew, and unwilling to question the alliance between the bubbly, sugar-high girl and the resident mad scientist, everyone found someplace to hide. Yammy had a bit of trouble due to his size, but decided to put a lampshade over his head and pretend to be a very large, pink, flowery lamp.
Hearing the knock on the door, Szayel rushed over to play the part of gracious host and opened it, revealing a grinning Sunsun and a wary yet stoic Ulquiorra.
"Ah, yes, Sunsun my dear, you're here for my notes, yes? Come in, both of you, I would be remiss as a host to let you stand outside.", Szayel said, the very picture of hospitality.
"Why thank you Szayel, that's very kind of you to offer. We'd love to come in for a moment.", Sunsun replied, playing along.
Sighing to himself, Ulquiorra took a step inside, just enough to clear the door, and jumped a little as Szayel rushed behind him to shut the door loudly. Hearing the cue, almost everyone save Starrk, who had fallen asleep in his hiding spot under the couch, jumped out or, in Yammy's case, fumbled with the lampshade.
"SURPRISE!", the crew shouted, as Nel unfurled a banner that read "Happy Birthday Ulquiorra!"
Eye twitching slightly, yet stunned with surprise, Ulquiorra looked back to the door, only to see Szayel standing there, guarding it with a wicked grin. Realizing that he had been set up, he looked to Sunsun, who silently pleaded with him to play along, and sighed.
"Well, this is certainly unexpected. I did not think that knowledge of my birthday was so widespread.", Ulquiorra replied.
"I'm sorry about the deception, Ulquiorra, but I thought that this was a really sweet idea, and I wanted to do something for your birthday myself but I couldn't think of anything.", Sunsun said, looking down and putting her hand over her mouth coquettishly.
"I did not anticipate a party, or any celebration, but this is... tasteful, at least.", Ulquiorra reassured Sunsun, taking her hand and squeezing it.
Smiling and holding her boyfriend's hand, Sunsun smiled wider and together they join the shenanigans already starting to unfold. Yylfordt had already cued the pre-mixed party music, and Ggio, Edorad, and Yammy had started tearing into the snacks. Nelliel was dancing to the music, prompting Lillynette, Momo, Szayel, Kiyone, Apache, and Mila Rose to join in. Starrk and Tia were sitting on the couch, deep in conversation and watching the happy dancing people, and seeing Ulquiorra and Sunsun, scooted over to let them sit down.
"I'm glad you're not upset, Ulquiorra. Nel really wanted to do something for your birthday, she doesn't think such things should go unnoticed.", Starrk said.
"It's certainly a surprise, but as surprises go, at least this one looks entertaining, and I'm not so callous as to complain about or refuse something that had such pure intentions.", Ulquiorra explained, almost visibly relaxing, albeit slowly.
Nodding, Starrk pulled Tia closer and snuggled with her, both now watching and smiling at the bouncing, happy people dancing. Ulquiorra and Sunsun decided to follow suit, with Sunsun giggling at Apache and Mila Rose starting their own dance-off competition.
Ggio managed to give Ulquiorra and Sunsun cups of soda before getting dragged into the competition as an impromptu judge, very much against his will. Yammy, wanting to join in the dancing but having about as much natural talent as the lampshade that he was still wearing, still happily bounced up and down, causing minor tremors with each landing. Even Tesla was begining to enjoy himself as he began to unwind, slowly, but surely.
The party was soon in full swing, and even Ulquiorra could be seen to have a smile on his face, when Tia perked up, hearing a strange sound from outside.
"Wait, do you guys hear that? It sounds like someone banging around outside the house.", Tia said to Ulquiorra and Sunsun loud enough for the other partygoers to hear. Curious, Szayel went over to the big picture window facing the street, reluctantly joined by Yylfordt.
"Why, indeed, it would seem that TS-5 is attempting, and failing, to do some damage to a car that I believe belongs to Starrk.", Szayel remarked, eyes gleaming as he excused himself to fetch his sword and make a quick phone call.
"Yea man, Nnoitra's out there, looks like he's trying to smash up your car pretty good, but all he's managed to do is bang up your bumper.", Yylfordt added, eyeing his brother warily.
Outside, the freakishly tall and now somewhat intoxicated Nnoitra was beating Starrk's car with a heavy crowbar, missing more than he was connecting but still doing some damage.
"Think you're so much better than me do you?" Nnoitra yelled, "I'll show you... then I'll deflower your little bitch of a sister and your whore of a woman!"
As the lanky student continued his assult on Starrk's car his rants and threats started to become more and more graphic. This roused Starrk's attention and brought the party to a halt as everyone rushed to see a cursing, flailing Nnoitra making an ass of himself. Starrk, starting to see red, made a move for the door, only to be restrained by Szayel of all people, who had finished his call and had a wicked gleam in his eyes.
"Now now, Starrky, I know you want to go out there and punish TS-5 for his behavior, but you would get in serious trouble for beating him up outside of school. Here, play along with me for a moment, we can make him wish he'd never been born and not lay a finger on him. I do not like him making me out to be a poor host, after all.", Szayel explained, holding him back with Tia's assistance.
Rage still shining in his eyes, Starrk calmed down enough that restraint was no longer needed. Looking at the smirk on Szayel's face and the concern on Tia's, he nodded, unable to speak out of sheer anger.
"Very good, now if you will just follow me outside, you will get to see some unexpected yet likely entertaining encounters.", Szayel replied, grabbing his sword and looking over to Yylfordt with a grin. "Oh brother of mine, do you recall how we got removed from the door-to-door solicitors lists?"
Nodding his head and sighing in defeat, Yylfordt stormed out of the house, slamming the door hard enough to attract Nnoitra's attention.
"Hey, Nnoitra, you little fucker, what do you think you're doing to my friend's car?", Yylfordt shouted out.
"Hey, fuck you man, it's a public street, I can do what I want, and if I want to trash that fucking puppy's car, I can.", Nnoitra unwisely retorted. Before Yylfordt could reply, however, Szayel slipped out, a rather sharp, unsheathed katana in one hand.
"Why, TS-5, I did not know that you were so eager to renew our professional relationship so soon! Coming all this way to visit me at my own house, such dedication should be rewarded.", Szayel chimed in, a manic grin taking over his face.
Seeing Szayel made Nnoitra involuntarily flinch for a moment, but when his words sunk in he froze. "Wait, this party that I wasn't invited to, it's at your house?", Nnoitra nervously asked.
"Why, indeed TS-5! As a matter of fact, you've arrived just in time for one of my planned entertainments, where I get to show off a little known skill of mine.", Szayel replied, grinning and occasionally looking behind Nnoitra.
"Not the theremin, not the theremin...", Yylfordt started to mutter as he twitched.
"No, my dear brother, not my unique musical skills, rather something I picked up in my spare time.", Szayel replied, lifting up the sword and slicing through the nearest fence railing.
"Now, my dear guests and experimental subject, as I have just demonstrated, this katana is in fact incredibly sharp and solid, in all ways a functional sword.", Szayel explained as he lifted the sword so that the tip was just danging over his mouth.
The partygoers and Nnoitra alike all momentarily forgot the previous property damage to the car and stared transfixed at Szayel as he seemed to balance the katana on his tongue before releasing the hilt and effortlessly swallowing the entire sword.
Aside from a couple minor screams and 'oh fuck man what the hell oh fucks', from Grimmjow, the crowd was paralyzed as Szayel effortlessly slid the sword out and took a bow.
"Quite a hard to learn skill, but well worth it I believe. It has certainly allowed enough time for my other party guests to arrive." Szayel beckoned towards the end of the street, where two figures now stood. One was the dark-haired girl from Nnoitra's previous kidnapping, and the other was unknown. He was covered in thin, surgical scars, with tanned skin, medium length blue hair, and odd golden eyes. Only when he smirked at Szayel, showing familiar teeth, did it click that this was in fact the other resident mad scientist himself, Mayuri Kurotsuchi.
Realizing that he was in fact now pinned between a host of angry students and one mad scientist on one end, and another mad scientist with a freakishly strong assistant on the other, Nnoitra lost any pretence at bladder control, which made Lillynette and the rest of the girls giggle.
Twitching and spasming a bit as Szayel and Mayuri threw matching insane glances at him, Nnoitra finally screamed higher than most little girls can reach and quickly scaled the nearest building, running and screaming at the top of his lungs, leaving a faint trail of urine behind.
"Well, that should take care of the miscreant for now.", Szayel stated, patting Starrk on the back with his non-sword holding hand. "And I'm sure Yylfordt would be happy to repair the damage to your car."
"Yea man, it's no problem. Just take it down to the shop and I'll fix her up good as new.", Yylfordt added, eyeing the newcomers at the same time. "Um, bro, are they really going to join the party?"
"If it is okay with the birthday boy, I don't see why not!" Szayel looked at Ulquiorra, who simply shrugged and nodded his head. "Wonderful, come on in you two! I have yet to break out the theremin!"
Mayuri cocked his head and looked at Szayel inquisitively. "You play the theremin as well? Interesting, I think we could have a lively competition. And why is your brother now twitching?"
"Oh, ignore him, he's just being silly. Now, shall we all return to the party?"
With that, all the partygoers went inside save for Tia, Starrk, Nelliel, and Grimmjow.
"Man, I didn't think he had the balls to attack your car.", Grimmjow said.
"At least it's not too bad, and hey, I have a feeling that Nnoitra will be paying in spades for tonight.", Nel joined in.
"I'm proud of you for showing restraint, Starrk.", Tia replied. "He was right, you would have gotten in pretty severe trouble if you'd retaliated."
"Heh, you would have had to beat me to it, I was all set to clobber him until Pinky did...whatever the hell it was that he just did.", Grimmjow added.
Starrk, looking down at the ground, sighed and nodded. "It's alright, I'm not too upset about it now, and the damage is light. Besides, I really wouldn't want to be in his place right now, with those two after him."
"Let's go back to the party, sounds like things have gotten back to where they were.", Nel remarked, half-pushing her friends back inside.
Starrk at Tia simply nodded at each other and joined Nelliel and Grimmjow, who was once more loudly protesting being thrown over her shoulder, and they rejoined the party.
The party was considered to be a huge success by all that attended it, despite the Nnoitra hiccup, and when it finally came to an end, all involved were satisfied, even the reluctant birthday boy. All got home safe afterwards, save Mayuri and Nemu who elected to stay behind to inspect Szayel's personal lab setup.
Meanwhile, Nnoitra, hiding in the tallest tree he could find, spent the rest of his night muttering and looking around nervously, shaking from fear and his cold, wet clothing. Revenge was far from his mind now, simple self-preservation kept him up in the tree well into the next day, where he had to be forcibly removed from the tree by the local fire department.
SEE YA NEXT CHAPTER :3
My apologies for the long wait, real life stuff can be such a pain sometimes. Anyways, special thanks to those who've read and have been reading from the beginning. Especially to MJLCoyoteStarrk and his awesome fic, Glad to have been an inspriation and can't wait for what you have planned next :3