NOT INU/SESS YAOI, it's a totally innocent, funny one-shot about Inu & Sess falling victim to a tiny piece of modern technology (w/o them realizing it) from Kagome's time.
Hello audience this is my 1st fanfic, well actually I've been verbally reciting my fanfics to friends for a couple of years now, and I've written (on paper) 2 fanfics, so this is the first one that I've typed in a site to be read and judged by total strangers!
Now to explain what's up with title. I was inspired by "That One 6-Flags Commercial". I don't think this was broadcast all over the US, but here in Southern California (where Six-Flags is) they were showing them. It went like this: first they'd show some boring activity and it'd be rated at bottom of screen by a "fun-o-meter" which was between 1 & 6 "flags", 6=highest. Then the image'd pause and an asian-guy's head would show up in a circle on the middle of screen and he'd say indifferently "1 Flag" Then they'd show a 6-flags rollercoaster with everyone screaming; meter'd shoot up to 6, then asian-guy's head would show up again and he'd psychotically scream "6 FLAGS!!!! MORE FLAGS, MORE FUN!!!"
Well, in one commercial the boring activity shown was a cat trying to catch a laser pointer's red dot on the wall while an old lady laughs. For those of you who know what I'm talking about, or at least have an idea where I'm going with this--- yes, what you are most likely concluding is probably correct.
PS y'all know I don't own any one of the characters that're going to appear, that's the dear, great, manga-ka, Rumiko Takahashi-sensei-sama who gave us these wonderful characters!!
• Italicized= thinking • *word in between asterisks= sound effect*
Inuyasha is at the base of a small, harmless-lookin cliff; to his left is a good sized, smooth-lookin boulder which he's walking toward; opposite of the cliff (where you view/imagine this) is a forest. When he arrives at the boulder *sighs* *plop!* right on the dirt and leans back, arms crossed behind his head, left leg over right.
Finally some peace and quiet… Eyes *blink, blink* Left ear *twitch* Whadda' hell's that?
He sits up in his usual doggy position and stares at a little red dot that's on the cliff adjacent to him.
It's nothing. He resumes his former position when he notices--- Did it move? And sits back up in his doggy pose. He could've sworn that the dot moved like an inch to the right…. closer to him…
What am I doing, it's just some stupid dot! Probably a bug-- His eye darts It moved again! The dot's now moved half a foot closer to him; a foot more and it's on him.
Inu gets up and takes 4 steps closer, Hmm… closes eyes, left hand gripping the top of sword's sheath, right hand hanging at his side,"Keh!" Red sleeved, right arm *SWAT!* That should take care of the bug.
Inu opens his eyes and the red dot is—is --- on his hand! What?! Bares his teeth a little, *Slap!* with left hand on right hand, "Hah! uhh…" *sweatdrop* The red dot is now on his left hand.
Wha—when did-- ?? "Grrr… YAH!" Inu swiftly removes both his hands and hits the red dot again against the cliff wall. Hair standing, teeth out "What the hell!" The freakin' lil' red dot is on his hand AGAIN!
Inu eyebrow *twitch* "AANNGGGHH!" hits it again! and again! and ah-gain! "What… why—won't—this—DIE??" Inu's eyes light up when he sees the dot waver then slide down the cliff wall. I killed it!
When the dot reaches the ground it stops, then quickly goes right for Inu! He takes one step back and lifts his left foot to squash it. As soon as it arrives close enough he steps right on it, but, but, it's on his foot. "Auugh!" He steps on it with the left, with the right, with the right again; it's behind him now so he turns and steps with his left, right, turn clockwise, left, left, right, turn counterclockwise, left, right, left, left, left, right, right, turn one way, another way, stomp, stomp, stomp----- DIE ALREADY YOU STUPID BUG! With both feet together he tries to jump on it. MISS!
*PANT, PANT, PANT* *Staaarreeee* Claws *crack, crack* "I'm gonna get'ya'damn bug" In clenched teeth, lowly, with a hiss, "Just wait." He bends down and starts punching the ground wherever he sees the dot move, stomps on it if it's not at the right angle, claw, fist, foot, it's gotta' fuckin' die!
How is it possible that it always evades my attacks!? It's incredibly fast, fast enough that I don't even see it move out of the way, and somehow it manages to move with such speed that it returns to its former place above where I just struck! It even emits an eerie glow of red despite the fact that it's day. Is, is it some kind, some sort of demon firefly?
After so many exhausting minutes the "demon firefly" has settled on the boulder. Inu's eyes blazing with determination and anger. This is it! He raises his right arm, hand clenched into a tight fist and HYAAHH!!
Punch *BOOM* Boulder *SS-KKRR-KRAK!* Chunks falling off *BOOVF!* The boulder now has a smoking hole in the dead middle of it, but miraculously, remains standing. Inu starts laughing having won.
Quiets "How---" Eyebrow *twitch, twitch* 2 anger marks at the side of his head, fist quivering, "That's it!!"
He grabs a hold of Tessaiga's hilt, is about to draw when---
"Inuyasha, you bastard. Are you honestly so powerless that you are going to use our father's fang, the Tessaiga, to actually kill and insignificant insect?"
Inu lets go of his sword and looks behind him to see his older brother, Sesshōmaru, walking up to him.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Sess stops in his tracks, "As though I could ignore all of that noise and the fact that your stench was coming from the same direction." He sighs, "Little brother, really, what are you doing?"
"Look, before you start bitching at me, I'm trying to kill this weird red bug—"
"What…. So, you're really….?" For once at a loss for words, Sess turns to the side, puts his right hand on his face, covering it in shame, and quietly says to himself, "I can't believe I am actually related to him. He is trying to kill a bug with something meant to slay 100 demons, and he's going to kill a bug, a bug, with it."
Inu stares and feels a pang of embarrassment for his actions since they got such a strong negative reaction, and not in a violent way, out of his brother, "uuuhh, Sesshōmaru…" he cautiously says.
Sess turns to him, face blank, Inuyasha has done some idiotic things before, but this, THIS, I don't even want to know what level of mental density is required to come to such conclusions. Where in the world did he inherit this behavior? How badly was he dropped on his head as an infant?
Inu stares back at him, "Se---" His eyes focus on the cliff wall, "Ah, Sesshōmaru look for yourself!" "Hmm?" "Right there!" he points at it, "That's the red demon firefly!"
Sess looks at it, "That? That?" We can't be related. Sess walks over to the wall, stares at it, turns to Inu, "Inuyasha, pay close attention. And watch a master." *SWAT!!*
"Well, (sarcastically) master, look at your hand and you'll see why I tried to draw Tessaiga to kill the bug." Somehow, Inu felt a little dumb after saying that.
Sess looks at his hand, the dot is on it. Impossible. I couldn't have missed. Before Inu could blink, Sess moves his hand away from the wall and *SWAT!* again. Again, it's on his hand. Sess tries again; it's on his hand again, but then moves up his arm. Sess takes a step back and shakes his arm. The dot, now at his feet.
"See? No matter how many times you swat at it, the bug always ends up on your hand. I think it can somehow instantly teleport." *STOMP!* Inu sees that his brother had tried to step on it, but, as with him, it ended up on top of his foot. "The same goes if you try to stomp it."
Sess is starting to get very annoyed by this red bug. What am I doing wasting my time trying to kill this bug? I'm above this. Sess turns to walk away. "Hey! You giving up, ya jerk?!" "I have better things to do. You can continue with this, half-breed." "Ha! Can't believe someone as arrogant and self-centered as you would give up a chance to show his 'worthless, dirty, half-breed of a brother' just how inferior he actually is!"
At this Sess appears in front of Inu, right in his face. Inu looks up at him, *sweatdrop* Maybe that was too much… *¡PÁS!* Inu goes flying, *crash* *sli-i-ide* He pops right back up, "You son of a - - -What the hell was that for!?!" "The red dot was on you cheek." "What!? (Anger mark *pulse, pulse*) You liar! You're just using that as an excuse to hit me!" Sess stoically looks at Inu. *sile-e-ence* Very coolly responds, "You have no proof of that." "WHA-A-AT!?" Sess closes his eyes- It is true though, but… still… He smirks.
*SLAP!* Sess' right leg steps to the right, his face is slightly tilted to the right, eyes having widened a little, mouth open, if just barely, left cheek a bit red, "Inuya- - What do you think you're doing?"
"What… the dot was your cheek, and it's true too." Sess' eyes narrow sharply, fangs bearing, "Hey! I slapped you! At least I didn't punch you like you did to me!" Sess is pretty much thinking- Die, die, you little mothe- -
Both Sess' and Inu's eyes spot the red dot on the cliff wall and glare at it. Both *smack!* The dot is above their fingers. They try again both growling. The dot is just above Sess' reach.
From a distance (where you are in the forest) you see a strange sight. Inu and Sess' fingers are covered by their sleeves, giving them a pointed look, and on top of that, they're lightly hopping and flailing their arms to reach the just barely out of reach red dot- - -which they keep failing to do.
Then the dot- - - disappears! Sess: "Wha- -?" Inu: "Where- -?" They both look around themselves and each other, heads looking down. Sess: "It vanished." Inu: "Yeah, it did, but…"
The dot reappears on the ground between them. Then, as though mocking them, goes away, comes back, goes away, comes back and in different locations too. Then, stays.
Inu puts his hand on the hilt, "Sesshōmaru, I know you're gonna' think this is- -" Inu looks over at Sess who is putting his hand on the hilt of Tokijin. "What the hell are you doing??" "Silence. I will not allow this inferior insect to mock me any longer." "I think you've lost it." "You're only saying that because you know I'm going to succeed in slaying it while you watch and fail, little brother." "WHAT!? Shut the hell up, you bastard! I'll show you whose gonna' fail!"
They draw! Tessaiga in full blazing aura, giant fang shape and everything; Tokijin blazing wildly. Both blades descend - - - *BOOM!* The earth beneath the blades *K-K-KRA-A-AK!!* But the red dot continues to evade them! *BOOM-BOOM!!* *CRASH!!* *CRACK!!* The boulder hit by Tokijin *SMASH!!* The whole goddamn cliff is getting chopped, the ground, anything that was where the dot was.
They see the dot go toward the forest. Inu: "GRAHH! Wind Scar!" *VWOOM* *EXPLOSION!!*
Kagome ducks to the tree next to her with Shippō in her arms, both trembling, slight tears in their eyes from almost dying. The wind scar wooshes only inches away from her. When it ceases Kagome gets up a little, the fox in the left hand, video camera in the right, and looks down at him. He looks up at her shaking violently, holding onto his little laser pointer for dear life. Kagome: "I think that's enough, Shippō-chan." "Y-y-y-yeah… I guess… so… "
Inu: "See that, ya' stupid jackass!? I killed it." Sess: "Stop your yapping. You have no proof that you have accomplished anything, only that you mindlessly swing our father's fang like it's a club." "What?! SHUT! UP!" "Let's see you try and make me." "Oh, yeah? Fine!" Sess and Inu get into a fight with each other while Kagome and Shippō slink away.
~~Later in Kagome's modern world (and ours)~~
Eri: "Wow, Kagome! Where did you find this video?" *snickers* Yuka: "Yeah, it's hilarious!" *laughs* Ayumi: "And you have to admit, the special effects are great too." *giggles* Kagome standing by her friends' side near the computer screen, "Well yeah, you know, I actually helped make the video."
From the screen you hear "…stupid jackass!?"
Yuka: "Why are they dressed like that anyway?" Eri: "Youtube's always full of weird stuff like that." Ayumi: "Didn't you read the title?"
--Two Weird Cosplayer-boys Trying to Catch a Laser Pointer's Light--
All right! Now to advertise myself! I'll write adventure, angst (that means like "heartbreaking", right? Please clarify if you can ), family, friendship, humor, maybe hurt/comfort, parody, and tragedy, and, dramas! I'd like to do drama, maybe that's 'cus of all the House M.D. I watch--- by the way if any of you know ratgirl407, tell 'em I love Behind Weathered Walls! --- and to be honest, I'll just admit it—"Romance" which I believe also means "dirty". It does, doesn't it? "Romance"= cue "Let's get it on" music/hentai/yaoi/yuri stuff. I'll also do some of those, except yaoi, especially not Inu+Sess or other incest.
For now, I'll publish another lil' funny one. Coming soon "Mr. Chicken" a story 'bout a teeny-weeny Sessy and some chickens It'll be a 2-shot. Then if my shit is deemed good and fantabulous, I'll begin my drama "Sesshōmaru, Centuries Ago" the summary, basically, how Sess was a long time ago, as a child, adolescent, growing up, his relationships and how they effected him, focusing on his relationship with his father in order to reveal just how crushing the loss of him was. Warning: it's gonna be long, how long in a computer, I don't know, but it'll be in 3 parts. The title will begin the same but after it "Part #: words" The first will be "Sesshōmaru, Centuries Ago- Pt. 1: Early Years"
I also intend to do one about his father, also a 3-part Drama, a love story. About Inu no Taishō and his 1st fiancée, no, not either mother of his children, no, long before that, before he was even General. Title "Taishō's Fiancée- Pt. 1: Be a Man" which by the way will be a blend of all mentioned in the 1st paragraph.
Sorry my advertisement was so damn long. Thank you for reading!!