TinySprite: Well, here's something fun that I typed up. This fic was inspired by an rp with rainsoakedreams, who also beta-d this. Go check her stuff out!

Parker: (skips out) Disclaimer!

Disclaimer: TinySprite owns nothing of Leverage except this plot and evil plot bunnies!


It started out as a normal enough morning. Eliot was busy making breakfast, Parker was busy watching him, Sophie was just trying to wake up and Nate was practically glaring at the coffee maker to hurry up, dragged out of bed by a bouncy Parker too early in the morning. It was Hardison's turn to get the mail, which he was currently doing.

Right on cue, the hacker strolled into the apartment, all smiles. In his hand was an unusual amount of letters, more than what they normally got. Sophie looked at them, then at Hardison, frowning slightly in confusion. She got no answer as he passed out the mail joyfully, keeping some envelopes in hand.

Standing before them, Hardison clapped his hands together, smiling brightly, "Now, it's bill time everyone!"

That got everyone's attention, Eliot turning away from the stove, frying pan in hand. Parker turned in her seat to stare at her friend, Sophie stopped trying to smooth her hair down and Nate just gave him a sideways glance before returning his attention to the coffee maker, gripping his favorite mug tightly in one hand.

Taking one thick envelope, Hardison handed it to Sophie, "I don't know what you're doing Soph, but your water and electric bills are ridiculous."

She stared at him, quickly opening her envelope, "What do you mean?"

Turning away from her, and ignoring her squawk at the bills inside, he next handed a envelope to Parker and Eliot practically snatched the one offered to him, putting the frying pan on a cool burner to do so. The hitter tore it open and read the bills inside, "Three hundred dollars for a new door?! A hundred and fifty dollars for a new window?!"

The hacker shrugged, "Hey, they don't grow on trees you know!"

Parker looked up, so very confused, "Why do I owe you fifty dollars for a new door lock? Or eighty for a new vent cover?"

Hardison smiled at her, "The same reason you shouldn't try to mess with either of those with a screwdriver."

Eliot frowned, putting two and two together, "Hey, you can't count any of this! Parker was locked in the bathroom that day!"

The hacker shook his head, carefully tossing Nate the final envelope, "Well, who do you think pays for that stuff?"

Nate glared at the offending item, before cleanly ripping the top open in a smooth motion and pulling out the bill inside, "And I owe you six hundred dollars for a new laptop why?"

Hardison chirped, "Because you knocked mine off the balcony yesterday."

The mastermind growled at him, "That was an accident and you know it! I already offered to buy you a new one!"

The hacker shrugged, still smiling, "I know, but putting it in bill form seems more official, don't you agree?"

Seeming to think of a last minute addition, Hardison addressed all of them, "By the way, I expect everyone's rent by the end of next week! That should be in there too."

Taking in all of their stunned faces, he blinked and frowned at them, "What did you guys expect? I am the landlord you know."