A/N: Lost a bet. It's just for fun people. Drabble fluff, and light smut so don't read if you think it'll be cute and too fluff. 'M' for a reason.

u & i as Wii

Carly was a fan of playing the Wii. Consistently, non-stop, never. Whether it be from racing cars off of a oncoming cliff, or beating the living, digital mind you, shit out of a Mii, Carly loved it. And the explanation was very, and extremely simple. The Wii had two i's. Carly loved those little Latin symbols with the cutesy dote on top that could be made into hearts or squares, or if you had time, kitties. Yes, Carly loved her i's. iCarly you know… iCarly. Yep.

But Sam didn't care for the Wii much at all. It was rather dull to her. But really, consider the graphics, they don't even compare to more powerful systems like the PS3 or Xbox, hell, it barely stood up to PS2 graphics. Not to mention other handhelds that could overpower its graphic card. And motion play was useless, utterly useless if a fighting game was involved.

The last time Sam had attempted the Wii was with Carly and the Star Wars game where all the Jedi people are swinging their swords in an attempt to hack off limbs and body parts. The game wasn't even memorable enough for Sam to remember the name of the game, and God knew Sam was a diehard Star Wars fan.

Needless to say, Sam got her ass handed to her and, in her humble opinion, the game was a piece of shit. Carly had reprimanded the girl for her bad sportsmanship, but Sam was beyond consolable. She never lost at fighting games—ever. It never happened. But of course on the damned Wii, Sam loses.

Carly guffawed as she was secretly doing the victory booty dance in her head to celebrate such a miraculous victory. As Sam testified, she never lost a fighting game, but O to the heavens above she had that day. And since then, Sam has refused to play the Wii. In fact, there was a Post-it on the Wii with a note directly clarifying:

'Sam will not, never, ever, lay hands to a Wii remote in an attempt to play it. If Sam does, let Sam be punished severely. –Love, Sam.'

Nevertheless, the rule stuck and Sam was presently watching Carly bounce around with the Wii Controller in hand doing some type of retarded looking punching motion in attempts to defeat a Russian looking dude by the name of 'Viktor'.

But, there was one reason why Sam could say she appreciated the Wii. And any other male with eyes and a lump of brain matter could understand why. While Carly was busy stroking in the water, running, jumping, tumbling, whatever—Sam got an eyeful. Especially today given that Carly decided to wear a particularly tight shirt. Low cut shirt. All Sam got excited about was the bouncing cupcakes and not so much the fact that Carly might have broken a record.

Sam had decided long ago that she liked Carly. It was no mystery. To Sam, it was no good hiding all the obvious information. She'd rather just get to the heart of the matter and either accept it or destroy it. Thus why Sam thought all books dumb and time consuming. The back of the book is always there, why not skip the tediousness and just see what fucking happens already. That's how life was for Sam, and that's how it'd always be.

But one exception. She couldn't bring herself to tell Carly how she felt. Carly was too important to her. However, unlike some of the people Sam viewed as low down pussies, she wasn't scared of losing Carly as a friend. She was scared of telling Carly, and not being able to maintain that friendly status anymore. Once something was wanted, it couldn't be half had. It's all or nothing.

Then there was that damned Freddie. Who the Hell was he? He was like the third wheel, but not even the normal third wheel. More like the third wheel that rolls sideways and crooked rather than forward and straight like the other two wheels. Sam's temper started to deteriorate just presently thinking about him. He was like a cockroach. Constantly coming back for more and more Carly. Her damn Carly if he hadn't noticed by now. Fuck him.

Sam dismissed the thought and returned to the wonderful world of Carly's cupcakes. They were just bouncing happily along like two little train compartments. Woo, woo! Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga—woo, woo!

But as the random train noises sounded in Sam's head the cupcakes seemed to come closer. Sam thought she was going cross eyed for a moment when finally, her eyes flicked to the right to see that the Wii game had been paused. Then her eyes traveled upward to see the smirking face of Carly looking down on her. Sam, totally caught off guard, decided to play it cool.

"Well hello there. What the fuck do you want?" Carly gasped at Sam's sudden usage of profanity but Sam chuckled at her face. What a damn nun. "Like I said, what do ya want?"

"You ma'am, were starin' at my goodies." Carly grabbed them for effect. Sam laughed.

"And so what if I was? There were open for staring at." Sam thought she had Carly going when she paused, but was mistaken when a seductive smirk appeared.

"Oh? I had customers? I had no idea. If you wanted some, why didn't you just ask darlin'?" Carly's southern drawl kicked in at the end, and Sam played along with her teasing words.

"I'm asking now. Gimme." Sam's husky tone started to appear in her voice. Carly grinned, but just as sudden as her previous mood change, she grabbed a fist full of Sam's hair. Carly was very aware of Sam being very turned on whenever someone grabbed her hair and tugged. In fact, Carly was going to use this knowledge to her advantage.

"How the fuck do you say please, bitch?" Sam could barely breathe when Carly grabbed her hair, let alone assert her dominance over her with words and action. Sam whimpered. "Whaaaaat, bitch? I can't hear you." Sam was beginning to feel severely turned on with all the dirty talk.

"Please." Carly tugged again with more force. Sam yelped lightly.

"Please what bitch? I got a damn name."

"Please Carly. Please let me touch." Sam's submissiveness and her overall cuteness got Carly to allow Sam a touch. Sam inserted a warmed hand into Carly's shirt. Carly hissed and immediately drew closer to Sam. Sam ran her fingertips gentle over Carly's nipple. Carly shuddered. Sam paused. Carly focused on Sam, but instead of prodding her for more stimulation, she could see that Sam had something important to say.

"Carly, I—I-ha-have liked you for a very long time, and, before anything goes too far and is taken too loosely, I need to know if you would be my girlfriend, not just for the sex, but for loving, or at least heavily liking me." As soon as Sam finished, Carly kissed her on the cheek.

"Of course. I've been waiting for you to say that." Sam looked mortified.

"So in all honesty, I could've had my hands on these," Sam paused to squeeze Carly's breast in which Carly yelped, "sooner, yet you withheld these from me?" Carly giggled.

"Well I've never asked anyone out in my life and I'm not about to start with you." Sam's mouth fell open, grieve stricken, flabbergasted even at the prospect of having intercourse with Carly any earlier. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Damn it all to Hell. Fuck man. Fuuuuuuuuuck.

"Fuck Carly." Sam groaned with her head sagging.

"Come on now. You're the one who said the relationship wasn't just about sex."

"Yeah, but I'm like the man in the relationship. I wanna sex-a you." Carly pouted. Sam quickly added, "But, but, I wanna love-a you too." Carly grinned broadly. But then Carly's face took on that of confusion.

"You're the man?" Sam nodded at this statement. Obviously. "Nuh- uh. You got dominated not too long ago Mr. Man." Sam turned beet red at this.

"S-s-so? A man is allowed his moment of weakness. But if you really want a penis, go right on ahead."

"Ew. No. Nevermind. How 'bout we just wait and see?" Sam nodded happily.

"Sure. Why not? But, I can't just wait and see your lips, I wanna see them now, right here." Sam pointed to her crotch and Carly chuckled.

"Keep talking like that and they will be." Well Sam kept talking, and yelling, screaming, howling and yelping in pleasure. As did Carly. Hours and hours later the two were still discussing trivial things.

"You and me are an item right?" Carly scoffed.

"Not with that grammar we aren't. You and I, and yes we are." Sam suddenly giggled and gamed the note off of the Wii. "What are you doing?"

"You'll see." Sam continued cackling merrily. When she was done she showed her work to Carly. "See, see. Lookie, lookie."

"What, what?" When Carly saw she laughed and cuddled under Sam's arm. She yawned.

" 'U and i as Wii, huh? You're too damn cute Sam." Sam yawned and moved Carly closer.

"U and i as Wii, Carly."

"U and i as Wii, Sam."

And so from then on, for years and years of lovemaking and fights and sex-capades, and even through marriage and death, that note on the Wii always read the same thing:

'Sam will not, never, ever, lay hands to a Wii remote in an attempt to play it. If Sam does, let Sam be punished severely. –Love, Sam.

P.S.--Sam and Carly forever= Cam 3

P.S.S—'U and i as Wii'