Fishbowls, Flapjacks and Flyaway Hippogriffs

FMA/HP crossover

6 year old Ed


Ed opened his bleary eyes slowly, lifting only one of his fists up to rub the sleep away from them as the left clutched at a worn brown teddy bear that was hugged close to his chest. He noticed that he was propped up against a cold, stone wall. He was in a corridor, he noticed as he stared at the dozens of empty portraits on the wall opposite him. Ed narrowed his golden eyes to slits and clutched his teddy tighter than before, on the wall around him he could hear voices...but walls weren't supposed to speak, were they? He pushed himself to his feet with his free hand, ignoring the slightly hollow, metallic sound that was barely audible as it made contact with the hard, stone floor. Taking three, evenly paced steps away from it, he turned around and froze, he almost yelled out in shock, there were dozens of people inside the portraits, all of them jostling each other to get a better look at him. He turned his head as he heard sounds echoing through the hallway towards him, voices, but not the quieter voices of the people from the pictures, they were loud and accompanied by footsteps, peoples voices. Ed's head whipped around, looking for a place to hide. He noticed a small cabinet with a vase on top, he reckoned that if he scrunched up small, then he would just be able to fit inside. As the voices got louder and closer, he decided to do just that. He fit, but couldn't close the door from the inside. Ed watched as he saw three people...three teenagers walk past in long, black coats, he almost instantly decided that he didn't like the one with the snide voice and blond hair that looked like it had too much gel on, and that the other two that were on either side of him, looked and sounded just plain old stupid. Once they were gone and he could hear no more voices, he decided to explore.

Ed was stepping quickly, but lightly so that minimal noise would echo through the hallway he was going through. He stopped when he saw two giant double doors to his left, he heard the low buzz of too many people talking at once coming from the other side, Ed gave the door a gentle push so that it would open enough for him to see through the crack, he froze when it gave a loud, ominous creak, swinging open just wide enough that, if he had breathed in, Ed would have been able to get through. In the split second between the door beginning to open and Edward hiding behind the second door, Ed caught a glimpse of a massive hall, with four, long tables running down the length of it and a fifth at the top running the width of it. As the door had begun to creak open, the chatter inside had died down and all eyes turned towards the now-ajar door. Ed didn't hear the low voice coming from the center of the horizontal table saying: "Professor McGonagall, would you kindly go and take care of our little troublemaker." Even if they were listening, most people who heard that sentence would have still missed the underlying tone of humor that accompanied it.

The students watched in silence as Professor McGonagall swiftly made her way down the aisle in between the two centre tables and out of the door. Edward was trembling uncontrollably, golden eyes wide in fear by the time McGonagall came through the doorway. He watched her as she looked around for the person that had opened the door, hoping against all odds that when she looked his way, she wouldn't see him. No such luck. She turned towards him and gasped in surprise, she had thought of many possibilities as to who might have come as late as that, but none of them were the little blond-haired, golden-eyed angel that was sat before her, quivering in fear. She stepped closer to him and reached out her arms to pick the boy up, recoiling in surprise as he clapped his hands and placed them to the floor, creating a flash of bright, blue light. After the light had disappeared, she saw that the boy had created a bubble of stone around him that appeared to be made from the floor. She tried all the spells that she knew that might get rid of the bubble, but none of them had any effect whatsoever. She sighed.

"Professor Dumbledore." she called "could you come over here a second." Dumbledore got up and made his way quickly across the hall to where Professor McGonagall was standing.

"What do you need my help for Professor?" he asked.

"The one that opened the door was a child, however, when I tried to make contact with him, he used a strange spell without a wand and created this around him from the floor, I have tried using magic to get him out of there but it just seems to repel the spells away from it."

"I see." Dumbledore said, after muttering a spell and touching both hands with his wand. "That should do it." He stated whilst pushing his hands through the rock-bubble as though it was air and pulling a still trembling Edward out.

Ed stared at the white-bearded man that was holding him, his violent tremors slowly subsiding in the man's warm embrace. His body stiffened as he noticed that he and the woman from earlier were walking back towards the big room full of people. Each and every face in the hall turned to stare as the headmaster walked back in to the Great Hall carrying a small boy in his arms.

"What should we do with him, Professor?" McGonagall whispered as they made their way up the centre of the hall.

"For now we will assign one of the houses to help look after him, they should be fine with that." Dumbledore replied.

"But which house?"

"I think that it would be wisest to let the sorting hat decide that, don't you, Professor?" McGonagall simply nodded in answer to his question and resumed sitting in her place at the teacher's table, leaving Dumbledore to explain about the child.

"As you can see, it appears that we have a little visitor here at Hogwarts tonight. He is going to be sorted by the sorting hat and whichever house he is placed in will be taking care of him, any mistreatment of him whatsoever will earn you two weeks of detention instantly, have I made myself clear?"

"Yes" was the universal reply and was quickly followed by the clamor of many voices all talking at once, discussing which house they thought that the child would be put in and the like.

The chatter died down again as McGonagall placed the hat on Ed's head, having to lift it back up and balance it precariously when it slipped right over his eyes the first time. As soon as Ed felt the weight of the hat on his head, he blanked his mind completely, his instincts told him to and they were the only things in this place that he truly trusted, besides from Al, his teddy bear of course. When the hat made contact with Ed's head, everyone in the room saw as it visibly jumped, the child's mind was blank, the boy was better at blocking the hat's mind reading than even McGonagall, the only person in the whole room that was on par with the kid was Dumbledore himself! Ed had been sitting there for about five minutes now, the hat had explained to the teachers what was going on and they had spent the last four of those minutes trying to coax him into letting the hat see his thoughts. The students were all mildly confused at this turn of events and there were some snickers being heard as they watched a slightly frustrated McGonagall trying to get a small kid to open up his thoughts. The boredom from sitting still for so long was getting to Ed so he decided to have a bit of fun with the hat only letting it know snippets of information.

'Hello, I'm Ed, who're you?' Ed thought, visibly startling the hat.

"Ohh Edward is it?" the hat said in it's slow, drawling voice, loud enough for anyone that was listening to hear. Upon realizing that the hat wasn't going to answer his question, Ed decided to carry on with his game, This time letting the image of the back of Malfoy's head that he had seen in the corridor earlier flash up clearly but with a big red circle with a diagonal line through it.

"Very well, not Slytherin then." The hat decided. "Maybe Hufflepuff?" Unsure as to what Hufflepuff was, Edward decided that because he though McGonagall was ok, he would let her flash up in his mind along with a positive vibe.

"In that case, it would have to be...GRYFFINDOR!" The hat exclaimed loudly. Ed noticed one table that was cheering much louder than the others, and decided that that must be Gryffindor. He let his eyes roam up and down the table, looking for people that looked like ones that he should avoid... he didn't see any, except maybe that chubby boy holding the glowing red orb in his hands, he looked a bit...weird. Ed felt the pressure of the hat on his head being removed and let all of his thoughts go at once, not realizing that it was a second earlier than the hat would break contact with him. When the hat was removed from Edward's head, he whispered in McGonagall's ear.

"Keep a close eye on that boy, he's been through some pretty traumatizing things already in his short life." McGonagall gave a slight nod to show that she had heard, and once Ed had hopped off of it, placed the hat back on the stool where it would stay for the rest of the feast. Ed felt a prickling sensation on the back of his neck, he turned around to see what was causing the uneasy feeling and noticed a man with a pale, pinched face and shoulder-length, slightly wavy black hair glaring at him. That was what was causing the bad feeling, he decided. He walked round to the back of the man, watching as the dark eyes followed Ed's progress as far as he could without turning his head, he did not want to let the child know that it had his full attention. When Ed was behind the black-haired man, he climbed up the back of the man's chair, clapped his hands and picked up two large crystal goblets that were either side of the man. The second he pressed them to either side of the man's head a bright blue flash occurred, getting everyones attention, Ed climbed down from the back of his chair and started laughing as the the light died down to reveal a surprised Snape with a fishbowl stuck firmly on his head, Ed's laughter was joined with that of almost the entire student population and a fair few of the teachers too, including Dumbledore.

"Ronald Weasley, could you come up here for a second." Dumbledore called after taking control of the low chuckle that had escaped his throat at the sight of 'Snape the goldfish' as the incident would no doubt be called later in life. Ron hesitantly made his way up to the teacher's table, unsure as to why he had been called up.

"Could you please take Edward here up to Gryffindor dormitory, and bring him some food too, it would appear that he hasn't eaten yet today." Dumbledore said, giving Ed a gentle push towards Ron.

"Come on, i'll show you where to go." said Ron, extending his hand out towards Ed with a gentle smile on his face. Ed shifted Al into his right arm and took Ron's hand with his left, all the while scanning his eyes for any sign of deception. He found none. Ron saw the boy looking at him with big, curious eyes when he offered his hand to him and he could feel that they never left him once during the time that they were walking to the doors at the back of the Great Hall. Ron was unsure of what to say to the boy once they were out of the Great Hall, luckily he was spared the awkwardness of having to start the conversation due to a particularly peculiar question from the small boy.

"Hey, mister, is the person you were sitting next to an emo?" Ron stared in shock, for a couple of reasons: 1) Apparently the kid knew what an emo was, and 2)He thought Harry was one (at least, Ron assumed that the kid Meant Harry because there was no way in hell than anyone would ever even begin to think that Hermione was an emo).

"No, he isn't, what makes you say that?" Roy asked.

"Well he has black hair and a really weird scar on his forehead so i just thought that he might be an emo."

"Fair enough, but even so he isn't an emo, that's just how he looks."

"Ok" The kid said, he stayed quiet for a few minutes before..."hey, mister" he whispered "she's fat." he said simply while pointing to the fat lady that was the doorkeeper to the Gryffindor common room.

"Flabberflonky Grayhorn" Ron said loudly all of a sudden, Ed giggled and looked up at him.

"Mister, what does that mean?" the boy asked curiously

"Oh, that, it's the password to get into the common room." Ron stated in a matter-of-fact tone. Ed looked into his eyes, curiosity evident in the child's own, golden ones. His head turned as he heard a creaking sound and he gasped in amazement as the portrait swung open to reveal a doorway leading to a cozy-looking room with plush, red chairs seated around a fireplace. Ron wasn't surprised a the child's reaction, after all, he had probably never seen anything like it in his life! Ed tore his hand out of Ron's own and ran into the center of the room, spinning round in circles with his left arm outstretched, the right still clutching onto the teddy, with a look of absolute wonder on his face. Ron smiled and stepped inside so that the portrait could swing shut behind him, watching as the little boy became dizzy and fell over, immediately getting up again and running up the stairs to what Ron suddenly recognized as the girl's dormitory, he was about to yell out a warning, but just as he opened his mouth to do so, the stairs disappeared, a slide forming in their place. Ed yelped in surprise as he started sliding back down and began to frantically scrabble, trying to get a foothold so that he could continue his exploration of the place.

"I wonder how Ron's doing" Harry said aloud as he ate the remains on his plate as fast as he could, he wanted to go and see what Gryffindor's newest member was up to and Hermione was no different. The second they were done with their food, they both stood up, their plates vanishing instantly, they stepped over the bench and cleared the length of the room as quickly as they could, as soon as they were out of sight of the Great Hall they broke into a run, curiosity getting the better of them, they didn't stop until they got to the fat lady's portrait, by which time they were gasping for breath, they had to wait a couple of minutes until either of them had enough air in their lungs to mumble the password the both stepped back as the portrait swung open, revealing....... utter chaos. The floor, which had been smooth and polished with barely a dent in it, now had lots and lots of circular dips in, each one about ten centimeters long and each one with it's own unique little statue right in the center of it, some head intricate horses or dogs or teddies and others were just blobs of wood with no positive shape. As Harry looked around more he saw that some of the chairs had been stuck to the wall at odd angles and the fireplace was all of a sudden much, much more fancy than it had been before, with carvings of intricate stone leaves and swirling vines all around the edge of, and there, standing in the middle of it all... was Ron, attempting to coax a scared child who was apparently stuck on a strangely deformed chandelier to jump down into his arms.

"RONALD, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!?" Hermione yelled. Harry stared at her in shock, it was the first time that he had ever heard her use anything remotely like a swearword, and in front of a small child no less.

"Er, Hermione, you're mistaken, it wasn't me it was this little guy." Ron explained, pointing up at Edward who was clinging onto the chandelier for dear life.

"OH YEAH SURE BLAME THE LITTLE KID FOR ALL THE DESTRUCTION YOU'VE CAUSED RONALD!" She yelled. Harry noticed the little boy beginning to shake even more violently than before and guessed that it was because of the loud voices, or rather, Hermione's loud voice.

"Hermione." Harry said quietly.

"What!?" She asked, still very loudly, but not quite as loudly as before, seeing as Harry wasn't the one she was angry at.

"You're scaring him." Harry stated, pointing at Ed who was now shaking so violently that the chains holding up the chandelier were rattling.

"Oh, sorry." She said directing her words to the boy, using a quiet voice, but one that would be audible from where he was. She walked into the room to try and help to get him down, Harry following shortly after.

It had been a few minutes and they were still trying to get the boy to come down, other students had started to arrive from dinner now and were whispering amongst themselves by the doorway, staring at the destruction of the common room and the infamous trio that were trying to get that really cute new boy down from what they reckoned was a chandelier but weren't entirely sure whether or not it was. Hermione eventually lost her patience and used the 'winguardiam leviosa' spell to gently lift the boy off of the chandelier-blob and make him drift down into Harry's arms, since she obviously didn't trust Ron with him anymore. Ron looked slightly hurt at this and Harry did his best to get the kid into what he hoped was a comfortable position for the boy, who was understandably panicking, anyone would if they just suddenly got lifted up in the air by some unknown force, wouldn't they? Trying his best to ignore the curious stares that were coming from the doorway, Harry watched as Ron and Hermione were trying to use magic to restore the common room back to normal...and failing miserably.

"Hey, Harry could you go and get Proffessor McGonagall to come and help, our magic isn't having any effect."

"Uhhh OK." Harry agreed.