A very different Type of Engagement

Disclaimer: Neither Series are mine.

Series: Ranma, Nanoha

Warnings: crackfic

Timeline: Hayate is 16 so before Strikers, Ranme before the Manga/Anime

Special Thanks to: I completely blame this one on Arkeus, yes this is all your fault

Synopsis: Hayate found an engagement contract, seems like Soun gave his daughter away more then twice after all.

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Hayate Yagami, Miss I have never been kissed because the only two people my knights approve of are together and not sharing, was happy. In a dusty corner of the attic, she had found a chest with papers, one of those papers was an engagement contract. A child of the Yagami family, to a child of the Tendo family. No more having her knights scare everyone away, this was a thing of honour, and her knights took honour seriously. With an evil smile she took the contract and left to gather her family.

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Somewhere Soun Tendo felt a chill run down his back.

His daughters had the feeling that their father had done something stupid, again.

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Soun had been hoping for a postcard from Genma his old friend. The Postcard from Yagami, or rather it seems some sort of guardians was surprising. Yagami had found Soun and Genma after the dreaded Master had molested his wife. After lots of pleading, the contract had been made and they were spared their lives.

Now the first of his daughters was going to get engaged. His daughters had reacted in several different negative ways. Especially since he didn't know anything about the Yagami boy.

His daughters were in the living room waiting, Kasumi, his oldest, was in a clean house dress, Nabiki, the middle one, and the one to worry him the most, in a yellow kimono and finally Akane his youngest was in a blouse and a skirt.

"I still don't know why you want us to meet some boy." Akane growled.

Kasumi was serving the tea she had made "I hope he isn't younger, younger men tend to be boring." Not that she had the experience to tell the truth.

"I wonder if he's rich or well off." Nabiki mused.

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"I still don't understand why you want to get engaged to some weak girl Hayate." Vita was clearly against the contract.

Signum, ever the voice of reason "If they are not suitable for our Mistress, the contract will be post-phoned to the next generation."

"But Signum, Hayate is too good for them for sure." Vita only approved of very few people outside of the dysfunctional Yagami family, unfortunately both of those were probably together and did not seem to be the sharing types.

"We will test them to have them prove their worth to us." Zafira was a guardian beast, it was very questionable if a normal human would be able to survive his idea of testing.

"Finally someone for me, and only me." Hayate was cackling madly. Causing the knights to share worried glances.

"Maybe she just wants some" Shamal started blushing "more personal affection?"

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The long expected knock came, Kasumi ever the hostess left to invite their guests.

Seeing the eldest Tendo return with a slightly confused look was, disquieting. The reason appeared right after. A brown haired girl, that was about Akanes age, was followed by a busty brunette, a pink haired stoic women that screamed 'don't mess with me', a red haired girl, that reeked of menace and a blue furred wolf like creature. At least the Tendos thought it was some kinde of wolf, but wolves usually neither came in blue, nor were they that tall. This beast was huge.

"Hello, I am Hayate Yagami, these are my guardians, Signum," she pointed at the pink haired one "Shamal," that was the brunette woman, "Vita," the red haired girl "and Zafira" the Wolf.

Soun Tendo composed himself, mostly. "Welcome, I am Soun Tendo, these are my daughters, Kasumi age 19, Nabiki age 17 and my youngest Akane age 16." Without really meaning to, he continued "Pick the one you want she will be your fiancee." He finished with a whimper.

"Daddy" "Dad" "Father" came the shocked replies.

"Hmm." Hayate looked the three Tendo girls over. With a step she was next to Akane.

Grope, squeeze. "Very firm, but rather small."

Nabiki was shocked and frozen, this kept her from defending herself.

Fondle, squeeze. "Bigger, a bit softer."

Soun Tendo was shocked, this brought way too many memories of the dreaded Master back.

Vita hung her head as Shamal hid her face behind her hands, Signum just sighed.

Kasumi couldn't look away, she couldn't move away. It was like one of those train wrecks where you couldn't do anything and just kept watching. The hands on her chest startled her badly, the squeeze shocked her beyond belief.

"Very firm and a perfect fit." Hayate declared.

Akane had woken, "You, you pervert!" the mallet in her hand was nothing that caused concern. That she was moving for Hayate was of a lot of concern for the knights.

"Graf Eisen" [Gigantische Form]

Had Akane been awake she would have felt mallet-envy, since the big hammer she was underneath was bigger then she was.

That was when things truly went to hell.

Soun Tendo was a rather spineless man, but currently one of his babies had been attacked, and all three had been molested. His long forgotten Ki technique, the demon head awoke and he opened his mouth to remind the Yagami's in whose house they were.

"Levantine, load cartridge." [Explosion]

The flaming sword that had dispelled his technique was now pointed at his chest. "You will not threaten our Mistress."

"Yes ma'am." the chastened family patriarch squeaked.

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Nabiki Tendo was a rational person, or at least as rational as someone who lived in Nerima could be. Her sister whipping out a mallet, or fighting a horde of boys every morning. No problem, one of her classmates being a delusional idiot that wanted to be a samurai, she had seen it. This however was on a different level, all three girls getting groped by their fiancée, female fiancée that took some serious liberties with them. Her younger sister was buried in the floor beneath a hammer that was almost as tall as she was. A bit of hurt pride was there as well, her older sister, the housewife, had supposedly nicer breasts then she did, that was a bit of an insult. The blue monster wolf looking at at her, daring her to say something, do something was very disconcerting as well.

She was the good soul of the house, she was stability, she was Kasumi Tendo. She had never been groped, until now. Somehow she was both offended that the brown haired girl had groped her and surprisingly even for her, she was even a bit proud that her chest had been declared the best. She was still a bit confused how a girl was supposed to be their fiancée. "Uhm, Yagami-san?"

"Call me Hayate, Kasumi-chan."

The tallest Tendo girl blushed a little. "We are all girls, the engagement ..." She trailed off, not sure how to continue.

"I know it's a bit sudden, but I only found out 3 days ago." Hayate either completely missed the point or simply ignored it.

"Birdies" Vita had removed the hammer from Akane, surprisingly Akane had survived mostly unscathed.

Hayate ever the practical decided that maybe a break was needed, "Shamal, why don't help Kasumi, some tea would do us good, and calm them down." Practical didn't mean she couldn't be blunt about it.

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Several minutes later, Shamal and Kasumi were hitting of, and currently discussing something in hushed tones, probably Hayate since the oldest was often seen looking at the younger girl.

Signum was calmly sitting and staring at the Tendo patriarch.

Soun was trying to sit tall and proud, and utterly failing at reassuring the control over what was supposed to be his domain.

Zafira was having a staring contest with Nabiki.

Nabiki was loosing the contest.

Akane was glaring at Hayate.

Vita was glaring at Akane.

Hayate was almost bouncing on her seat.

Soun Tendo was a broken man, but when it came to defending his daughters he sometimes managed to show a little spine. "Yagami-san, concerning the contract ..."

Nabiki and Akane shared a glance, the weird girl seemed to like Kasumi the most, or simply gave her the highest rating. The calm one, Shamal, seemed to hit of with their older sister as well. "She wants Kasumi." They said as one. "Kasumi thinks younger men are boring. And Hayate's guardians should be able to keep boredom away." "Hayate also said she had the best breasts." Akane turned red when she said that, but the evil glare Vita was giving her kept things under control. "She is the oldest daughter so so she should be the first to become engaged."

The look of betrayal the oldest gave her younger sisters stung, but they weren't about to get engaged to some perverted girl with guardians who had weird powers.

Everyone in the visiting party seemed to nod at that.

Kasumi gave a small whimper.

Hayate made a small frown, and mused loudly. "I guess I'll have to visit regularly, maybe stay over for the weekends."

Signum nodded in agreement. "We will join you, since this district seems to be …" it was clear that she was searching for a proper word.

"Crazy." Vita threw in. "No way I'm letting Hayate-chan come here alone." The agitated redhead was even crossing her arms.

"Kasumi could always go with you." Nabiki spoke faster then her mind worked. Since the wolf was seemingly approving of Kasumi, but not happy about her sister, being sacrificed, for her own safety, she wanted it gone, and never to return. "She'll probably move into your home anyway."

"Yes, that's a good idea, she only goes shopping, and never goes out." Akane agreed.

"No, we can't have that, first we move you in, then a nice date, then we go on." Hayate declared, seemingly very happy with the idea.

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The eldest Tendo sister staggered to her room, Shamal followed to help packing.

Signum negotiated a decent downry.

Vita kept Akane in check, while Zafira was yawning at Nabiki.

Hayate was way beyond giddy.

Then it was time to leave.

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Nabiki was glad that the Yagami girl with her Guardians was gone, pity they had to sacrifice Kasumi, but it was either that, or possibly end up in very weird situations with the girl and her guardians. Kasumi might even have a decent chance at a happy marriage. Somehow the word marriage set her mind off. "Wait, isn't same-sex marriage illegal?"

Akane stared. "Wait, what?"

Soun broke down crying, again.

"She could always add her to the Yagami register, but I'm not sure how that fits into her idea of marriage." Nabiki mulled over the whole situation. "We could always ask Kasumi how living with Hayate is." Nabiki winced, Kasumi probably wasn't happy with them at the moment.

The Tendo patriarch seemed to visibly perk up. "We could get Kasumi back?"

The remaining sisters looked at each other, before shrugging, they weren't about to follow and demand their sister back right now.

"Kaasssssuuummmmiii!" There went the wailing Tendo patriarch, but once he opened the door to the street. He found emptiness, no sign of his daughter or her, in his mind at least, kidnappers.

Author Notes v0.0: Idea is based on a two words that I accidentally exchanged at 2 am on the Fukufics irc. Now we have Hayate instead of Ranma at the Tendos. I thank all those that helped with the feedback on the irc. This is supposed to be an open ended crack-shot, so deal with it.

Words: 1697

Author Notes v0.1: Thanks to Kurushi, he helped out with a few scenes and some legalese. Also this version corrects spelling and grammar where I see it.

Words: 1837

Author Notes v0.2: minor corrections, a few words have been added.

Words: 1853