Title: That Kind of Scary Awkward

Summary: Shinji and Takako share their most awkward conversation yet. Three-part; Shinji/Takako implied

Rating: T

Genre: Humor


So Shinji Mimura was exactly crept out at Takako's weird behavior of zoning out.

He would rather want to think she was just staring at him all day, yes please—because that was how it was actually, as he had been looking back at her too—but there was something in her eyes in all that staring that even in something over-the-number-of-the-days-in-a-month worth of dating, he was not quite sure how to take.

So he was exactly crept out, especially with the fact that she was sporting the same bored? disinterested? look again as they gobbled up dinner later that day. Well, to put it more rightly, as he gobbled up his dinner and hers waited cold.

He then tried asking.

"So," he mused in between couple of bites, "you're zoning out."

Takako's head was leaning on the wall, her arms were crossed across her chest, and her eyes were staring straight ahead.

Shinji was getting impatient, so he snapped his fingers directly on Takako's face.

"What?" she asked, oblivious that Shinji had apparently asked a question.

Said man was not exactly known for his patience except probably for matters which involved her. She was a pretty little exceptional case on his head. That was why, saying that Takako was already fucking his wits meant that he was really really on his edge.

This scenario was such a case.

"Sweetheart, you are zoning out," he repeated, slowly, and his eyes darted a knowing look, "you can tell me…sweetheart."

"No."

And folks, that was a flat out no. She declined him as fast as the speed of light and he was beyond pissed. The ache on his muscles from all that shooting practice was also not helping his cause at all.

"Something is bothering you, I can tell," he says as a matter-of-factly, leaning on his chair as if to say, 'this is serious business'.

"Well, that shouldn't mean it should bother you as well," Takako snapped back, her attention finally on her food after fifteen minutes of…staring.

"Spill," Shinji said with a sigh, "it's not like I shouldn't know that, right?"

Takako pointed her chopsticks to Shinji's face, "Unfortunately for you, you really shouldn't know."

Shinji scowled. He resumed his eating but not without a passing remark that he knew would sure press the first button to her anger scale. Shinji being the mighty idiot that he was known for, said with all reeking stinking sarcasm intended, "But of course, this is something Sugi will know even though it's really all about me, yes."

Takako dropped her sticks so loud; Shinji had to look at her to assure himself that that was a pair of chopsticks, wooden chopsticks, and not the succession of three plates falling on the cemented floor. He looked up and she was grinning. It was not a good sign.

That was never a good sign.

"You need to trust me on this Mimura," her grin widened, "You're going to thank me for it, fucktard."

Shinji smiled back at her, his lips flat and totally sarcastic that said, 'I am not amused'. Takako only leaned back on her chair and Shinji was pissed because you know those situations when people think you shouldn't know even though you should and they don't tell you because they think you're stupid enough not to understand? Well, that was how he was feeling right now. Well, he was stupid too but…

Chances were, Takako was right. She ultimately would be. By history, there wasn't a time yet that she was like this on him that had not had a good back-up reason. Maybe he really shouldn't know. But if he pressed on further and risked knowing and pissing her off in the process, it might promise him good rewards.

Especially if he was going to take that one specific incident as reference; that incident when Takako also kept something from him but apparently she was just embarrassed out of the galaxy to suggest that they visit that newly renovated love hotel down by the district.

And because everybody knew how much of an official moron Shinji Mimura was in all things involving Takako Chigusa, he was immediately motivated by this fact even though historical statistics pointed out that the probability of such a case to occur again was one to ten…billion.

Boy could try.

But before he could speak out his very well-thought opinion, yeah right, Takako opened her mouth to speak. As if she was proving her earlier point, she added, "If you dare fucking ask me again, Shinji, I'm going to spill and don't whine when I'm done because I fucking warned you."

Oops. There went his resolve.

Actually, technically, there went some of his resolve.

Takako stared at him, obviously waiting for his reply. She was chewing slowly and Shinji raised one of his eyebrows in mock concern. And then he grinned.

"I'd take my chances."

They usually settled their arguments this way, some for transparency matters, some for compromise, some just because both of them were type-A personality people and had competition in their blood boiling like oil.

It was all about winning and losing for fun, sometimes with great stakes on their end, and we should all know by now that by history, Shinji Mimura never won.


"I slept too little."

Shinji wrinkled his brows in reply, "You are zoning out because you slept too little?"

Takako rolled her eyes, "I slept too little so I was cranky and I was cranky so I was zoning out," she smacked him lightly on the head, "can you let me finish?"

Shinji leaned back on his chair and motioned for her to continue.

"I slept too little," when Takako said this, she averted her eyes downward and continued, "because I watched videos."

You know hun, I'd hate to burst your pretty little shiny bubble, that's not much of a newsworthy event, Shinji thought inside his head. His silence prodded her to speak up more.

By that time, Takako was swirling her spaghetti curls on the red spaghetti sauce on her plate, "Ayako had some videos rented and they were by the floor so I thought I'd strain my eyes to sleep."

By this time, everyone reading should be asking, porn? Shinji was thinking along the same lines, by the way; or more appropriately, of course.

When Shinji gave her a suggestive look adorned with that malicious smile of his, Takako scrunched her nose in disgust, "Not porn. I've had enough of my lewdness dosage from you, thank you."

Disappointed that she would not be sharing some new sexual positions to try on their next sexcapade, Shinji just shrugged and Takako continued her as-of-now-not-really-interesting story.

The interest perked up when she said, "They were about the reproductive system."

However, Shinji, the moron that he was, only face palmed, "Babe, no offense or anything but yes, you're a dork," he reached out to her and patted her head affectionately, "but that doesn't take out anything."

"If you're worrying I'd kill myself when I'd find out, no worries, babe. You're still my girl." And then he smiled.

His smile faltered however, when he saw that distinct tint on her cheeks and her eyes were opened wide.

What the hell, he complimented her more than what he said just now. Most of them were said in bed, but in the height of his lust, he knew them to be true and he was not lying or anything. He did crazier things to proclaim his loyalty too that he knew, so yeah, what the fucking hell, Shinji mused.

Takako avoided his eyes and cleared her throat, "You don't get it."

Shinji sighed, "Well, I don't—"

"—babies."

If Shinji had any idea before about her problem (and now it really was a problem), he would completely and utterly denounce all of them now. Something told him he was bound to not like what she was about to say, at all, but he would most likely not have a choice but to hear them anyway.

"Chigusa, you are being weird."

"Mimura, I warned you."

They looked at each other for a moment, and Shinji had either wanted the ground to swallow him whole or Shuuya Nanahara's optimistic spirit to possess him to save his sanity.

Especially when Takako added, "I would rip your ears out if I have to, so don't bother running for your escape, you stupid."

Yes he was being stupid, and to prove Takako's point (or he was really just being optimistic), Shinji replied, welcoming the conversation to continue,"Babies are...fat."

And that did not make any sense at all whatsoever.

Takako only looked at him and noticing his demise, decided to shrug, "Yes, most of them," and she thought that was also a rather stupid thing to say but then, "I watched more videos of them on Youtube after."

Shinji gulped. He really did not like the way this conversation was heading.

"Didn't feel like I was sleep-deprived at all really, I had good dreams—"

"—about?—"

"—cuddly things," for some reason, Takako flinched at using the B-word. Shinji on the other hand, looked like he could use some help.

Takako looked so adorable in Shinji's eyes and he had to groan. It was all he could do to stop himself from pulling her face to his in the way she was shyly (because she never really got shy, except for a few things as mentioned) telling him about her dream that involved cuddly things and, "—adorable things…"

Shinji gulped again, allowing his eyes to stray towards the painting on the wall as Takako continued for the last time and finally said, "…cute things."

Cute?! FUCKING CUTE?! She never knew what was cute. Shinji would bet she never knew that existed! Not that he did know, but hey!

Unconsciously for both of them, they both heaved a silent sigh and they remained silent afterwards.

"Well, I would like for you to always have a dream-filled sleep, hun."

He was losing his touch with words, but no one could blame him properly, as Takako flashed him a small smile that told him she remembered her cuddly, adorable, cute things-filled dreams.

"Babies…"

She said it almost inaudibly that he swore he could still deny whatever happened. If God would let him, he would actually. Takako sure knew how his mind worked, how he would effectively lose if he prodded her to tell things she deemed not right for him to know, and now she was right.

Shinji only managed to shrug. There wasn't any conclusion at all to why she was zoning out, on him especially, or whatsoever, but he was grateful that at least he would not be scarred by the first surge of Takako's motherly instincts.

Or wait.

"They had your face."

His drink spilled over, and shock suddenly acquired the most understated emotion award, "MY face?!"

No, more importantly, "THEY??!"

Fortunately Takako understood what her revelation must have brought upon her man.

This was a fat, rare, once-in-a-blue-moon coated with parmesan cheese chance—Takako then only smiled sheepishly at Shinji and offered, "At least they'd make good genes?"

And then she smirked. And then she smiled sadistically. And both of them remained silent for a good while, food all forgotten.

He was waiting for her to say, 'JUST KIDDING' but when she did not; he only resorted to having a new drink.

God, he really needed it.

"I'm going to get a drink," Shinji said, standing up.

"Add me some hot taro pie and a sweet and sour dip," Takako chimed in.

Shinji shot her a horrified look and he cursed his life.

By babies and everything cute and cuddly and adorable in this universe, he hoped against hope that at least for now, so help him God, she was not pregnant.

And his most important conclusion was, overhyped sexual libidos were never a good thing. He never thought this day would come but newsflash, it just did.

TBC


A/N: Just a threeshot, really. Thank you to SkyLilies, Myahra, jenizakiand imjuzakyd for reading Something Rhetorical. Can't do something as long as that for now, but I have something cooking aside from this.

Sometimes I wonder when my BR muses would stop attacking me, but as long as they're here, I'm not really complaining especially if Shinji and Takako as my OTP goes up to that GREAT EPIC OTP LIST.

Unbeta'ed because that's how things roll, sorry for any OOC-ness, grammar yadda yadda yadda, you know the drill. Story is pure speculation on my part on how Shinji would (over)react on a pregnancy scare.

Or is it? *snickers*

Read and review, cheers!

EDITED: Trent Foley, thank you for the review. It made me strive to become ~better~. /sarcasm