Title: That Kind of Scary Awkward

Summary: Shinji and Takako share their most awkward conversation yet. Shinji/Takako implied

Rating: T

Genre: Humor

There were quite a few ways to make an ordinary woman shut her trap—kissing her senseless or groping her senseless or teasing her senseless—any of the three would work just fine, Shinji Mimura knew.

Then, there were quite a few ways to make Takako Chigusa shut her trap—kissing her senseless and groping her senseless and teasing her senseless—and wow, she really was a hard woman to please even in bed, so Shinji Mimura groaned.

And so in order to compensate for the discrepancy of her oh-so-high and mighty expectations and Shinji Mimura's pleasuring ability (which was usually over the benchmark), said man kept on grinding and gyrating in/on her until her eyelids would cease their fluttering and he'd know she was already on full time turbo blast orgasmic ecstasy.

On the top side of the bed, Takako's eyelids were almost ceasing their fluttering (much to Shinji's delight) and so she was aware that in no time, she'd be on full time turbo orgasmic ecstasy. Takako inhaled—heavily—and gazed at the clenching of the muscles on Shinji's face before her eyelids gave away and finally sealed shut (definitely yes, in full time turbo orgasmic ecstasy).

Both of them, in the heat of the moment, were engrossed in their own thoughts.

When they would have sex like this—beastly, for the lack of a better word—it usually meant either one of them was frustrated, or either one of them was horny, or either one of them was both horny and frustrated, or Takako jumped on Shinji, which was usually the case.

He was supposed to be the lewder one, Takako thought, moaning loudly, but ironically she did jump on him the moment he regained his consciousness. Then again she was not usually this impulsive; she could hold her ground against her libido but this time around, it fucked her over with no pun intended.

That wasn't a bad thing actually. Sex with Shinji was always Superb—Takako lost her train of thought for a moment as Shinji's hands traveled Somewhere South—but what made it bad was the fact that this was not part of The Plan—but ooh fuck, good going on those hands.

Takako tried to relax, but she suddenly felt like she was running on the track, on a district race—faster and faster—and she was already approaching the finish line, leaving all the losers behind (in her mind, some of them had the faces of the girls Shinji fucked before; on how she knew that was a story of another day). The mental image of herself—sweaty, pumped and energized racing through the finish line while Shinji fit (haha, oops, nice one, I'm a genius, Takako thought) in/on her reality was too good to resist that she had to keep going until the end—fuck The Plan.

And yes, she was; she was going, going and going insane at the pressure of everything that was happening. Her fingernails dug on Shinji's shoulders and she raked them across his muscled chest; the finish line was coming to her view, and she was coming towards it and victory was coming to her that she shouted...

"Shinji! Baby!"

...like the victorious woman she was feeling.

Except that oh yes it was victory, albeit it was short-lived as a switch on her mind suddenly broke and her eyes snapped open, fearing the appearance of The Look on Shinji's face—and there it was, with the gradual slowing of his pumping much to her dismay.

His eyes bored into her and normally she wouldn't have fazed from it. But his gaze was intent and he looked like a horrible robot pumping in/on her with his eyes not even blinking, fixated on slowing the rate of the pumping or probably his shirt dangling atop the ceiling fan.

Shinji finally stopped and Takako felt awkward sitting in/on him, she wasn't actually sure, but she really couldn't move a muscle either to ease herself out or speak a word. He still wasn't blinking.

Takako coughed her words out, "...I'm going off you now."

Shinji grunted a little when their joints finally disconnected; Takako settled herself on the other side of the bed, covering herself in a blanket for fake modesty and curling in a strikethrough fetal strikethrough comfortable position.

She tried not to look at Shinji, who was probably still amazed at his dangling shirt, eyes on the ceiling and subtly blinking from time to time. Admittedly, she really liked looking at him post-sex—the unclenching of the muscles on his jaw, or the trace of sweat coming from his damp hair, down to his temples, to his neck—

"Are you pregnant?"

Takako snapped from her not so subtle ogling and she was surprised at the audacity of her voice when she answered, "No."

The next thing that happened surprised her even more, as Stay Frosty Please Fuck Me Shinji Mimura literally wailed, "THEN WHY?"

Miffed at the sound of his voice mimicking that of a grilled-alive pig burning towards its death in a pyre, Takako shut her eyes (and her ears). Yes, she knew she was going too far with The Plan. But she wanted to make a point across. The thing was, for someone as analytical, pragmatic with a strategic mind of a smartass as Shinji; it would be very hard to explain that point. She tried to formulate the words in her mind to explain herself while not sounding too idiotic.

"I wanted us to go on sex abstinence."

Well, she tried her best.

But how can someone hide idiocy when it was idiocy and some more in itself?

"Sex abstinence?"

Takako kept silent. Shinji was suddenly doubling in laughter that the bed shook violently; and wailing Shinji suddenly became Once Upon A Time. She kicked him out of the bed.

"...ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

It was Takako's turn to death glare.

Shinji choked on her own laughter, trying to stop, "Alright, alright. That was some joke, baby."

By then, Takako was over the border annoyed that she sat on the bed in an instant. It was a childish thing to do, but she charged her pillow directly on his laughter-contorted face.

"I was serious!"

"Coming from the same girl who jumped on me when I just got back Hello World? Hardly," retorted Shinji, with a smirk and a snort all at the same time.

Takako pouted. "Just this once!"

"Just for always—"

"But you make me jump you!"

"I'm made to be jumped on! There's no going against my nature, I'd die!"

At the helpless look on Takako's face with no smart ass response to boot, Shinji howled again in laughter, muttering "sex abstinence, huh?" while going on a roll for the hay again.

Takako remained silent and plopped beside him in the bed, blowing the hair that covered her face. Shinji turned to her and wrapped said hair on his finger, laughing lightly, "Just so you know, that was epic stupid."

Takako sighed. "I know. I almost had you though."

Shinji propped on his elbows to really look at her this time, "You hardly admit defeat. What's the catch?"

Closing her eyes, Takako told him, "I really wanted to go on sex abstinence. Last week, my body was all sore, because of you and your anytime-anywhere fuckery. And that wasn't even the worst part! At practice, my legs were all fucking hurting and wobbly that I finished last on the mock race." She sighed.

"You mean that practice?"

"Yes! That practice when you were, I don't even fucking know, arm-flexing in the sun I had no choice but to jump on you—"

"And forget you were in the middle of a race—"

"—I sound like a perv. Why did you make me a perv?"

"Because baby," Shinji kissed her temples, "as I told you, there's no going against my nature. I'd die."

"Frankly, I think you were just rubbing on me too much."

"Now?"

Takako elbowed him hard on the stomach, scrunching her nose in disgust. "EWWWWWWWW!"

Although inside her head, that might not really be a bad thing, she still made the motion to stand up.

"Shinji, I really wanted to go on sex abstinence. I am fucking dead serious."

Embracing her in all her naked glory, Shinji only resigned to Takako's wishes, probably even dying a little inside at the adorableness and the stupidity of the whole thing combined, "If you don't want to have sex, then fine. Tell me you're sore or you're not in the mood, whatever rocks your boat, I'd respect that."

Takako looked at him fondly and abruptly shoved him a little too hard towards the bed and away from the glory of her breasts where Shinji's head was resting not a few minutes ago. Takako dressed herself and went into the bathroom, leaving Shinji the opportunity to think.

Alright, he did feel a little relieved that Shuuya Nanahara was right. His pride normally wouldn't normally give in, but he was happy he'd let it pass. Yes, he did something wrong, although technically that wasn't really wrong by right. He was happy to know she wasn't pregnant and that she wasn't on the verge of maternal awakening—okay, sex abstinence was too stupid to be true—but he'd have that any day over anything cute, cuddly and adorable.

To say that he was elated the most at the fact that it wasn't baby-related (he feared he might be scarred for life with the mere mention of the word) was a downright understatement; needless to say, the idea of Takako breathing on mood swings, morning sickness, abnormal hormonal urges and the crave for Little Shinji Mimuras™ was all kinds of scary, awkward and scary awkward he was just so so so happy it wasn't real.

At the exact moment that he arrived at that conclusion, Takako from nowhere, leaped at him like a predator on its prey with a very fierce predatory look on her face.

Shinji ended up on the bed again, shirtless and being straddled with a very determined looking Takako Chigusa. A shocking look was evident on his face.

"What are you on now?"

Takako only smirked at him, "Fuck the sex abstinence!"

What? His usual smart ass reply was already about to roll out of his mouth when it was forcefully shut down his throat again, as she whispered on his hear, "I want you baby...

...and I want your baby."

With new motives at hand, Takako began her assault on Shinji's body and even though folks, this usually was a fantastical wet dream; this time it was all but A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

THE END

A/N: Took me so long, alright. I lost my touch, sorry, had been busy and all kinds of stuff. Now that I think about it, this story is pure crack. Anything thinking along serious lines should just go jump the window. Pardon the unbeta-ed ness of this fic, and thank you all who came to read, flamed and dropped by! Not sure if I have another Shinji/Takako up my sleeve or any story for that matter, so until then, VAMOS!