1 The Return of Sleeping

By Norsehound

Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me is Sleeping, the Decepticon who changes into a bed.


If Starscream was going to have allies, he would need them now.

So when Megatron was off…er…resting, Starscream would see to it that he would be getting those allies…one way or another.

Out of the main cast, it was apparent that not everybody would sit well with a little…change of leadership. Soundwave in particular would shudder at the idea and warn Megatron immediately, while the Cassettes were more than eager to follow a new leader. Astrotrain and Blitzing were also on his side, though blitzing would be no help since he almost never appeared in the animation, so he couldn't help.

And then Ramjet and Thrust were also with Starscream.

He counted off his fingers, three…including Rumble and Frenzy that would make five.

Five on…er...thirteen, which included the Constructions and the Stunticons. Starscream didn't even want to think about the Combaticons, who hated them all anyway. He didn't even want to talk about the Insectacons. They wouldn't help him anyway…not just because he was a Decepticon….

It was because they were purple.

Starscream didn't know why, but that was the only reason he could find for the Insectacon's hatred for the Decepticons. It wasn't because the Insectacons talked funny…some Deceptions talked worse (Like that idiot Rymatron or Phonixor…and even Microsofter…but we won't talk about them yet…). So with every other reason ruled out, Starscream discovered that it was because they had purple body shells. That had to be the reason.

After that train of thought didn't get anywhere, Starscream remembered the printout in his hand.

"Hmm…If I can't find any more allies I'LL MAKE MORE!!!" He laughed in the empty room on the ship, "AHAHAHAHAH!!!"

The door opened and Skywarp peeked his head in, "Er…is something the matter Starscream? I thought I heard you screaming."

"Why would I be screaming?" Asked Starscream.

Skywarp shrugged, "Don't ask me, I just read the script."

"Oh…Well then…would you ask Ramjet, Thrust, and Astrotrain to come and help me down in the lab? I have something for them to do…"

"What?" asked Skywarp.

"Something I'm not supposed to tell you." Replied Starscream.

"Er…okay." Replied Skywarp and left, closing the door behind him.

"Anyway…where was I? Oh yeah, MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Then the lightbulb went out and Starscream was in complete darkness.

"Aw great…hey! That gives me an idea!" Replied Starscream. The idea bulb lit up and he used it to find the door.

In the lab, the new protoform was completed.

"Now then…for that alternate transformation mode…" Said Starscream.

"We need something good…" Said Ramjet…

"How about…a rock?" Asked Thrust.

"What are you? Machines or Mallets? We gotta think!" Blasted Starscream. Then he waved off the others and replied, "Ah forget it. Astrotrain! Find some random thing out there and plug it in!"

Astrotrain, reading the newspaper pulled the important green lever and the protoform that looked like a Gelgoog was sent through the machinery that was somehow vital to the plot of the last story, this story, and the next few stories to come. (For short we will call it the important machine thingy for now on.)

And the protoform emerged from the Important Machine Thingy. It turned its track eye and looked around, "Hey wait a minute, wasn't I here before?"

"What do you mean? You were just created!" Replied Starscream.

"Yeah I know…" Replied the Decepticon, "But I get this strange feeling of Déjà vu…. Oh, and call me Sleeping."

"Hey I get it too!" Replied Skywarp, "He transforms into bed."

"What?! A bed!?" Demanded Starscream.

"…only one way to find out…" Said the robot and transformed…

Into a bed.

"Well that answers that question. What now?" Asked Thrust.

"We'll make more…and this time we need a combiner so powerful he can defeat Devestator AND Menosaur!!!" Smiled Starscream.

With Sleeping's help, Starscream created six more protoforms and put them into the Important Machine Thingy (Well…now we'll call it bob for short).

Astrotrain (Who has no lines in this fiction just so you know) pulled the important lever again and the forms emerged.

"Now then," Smiled Starscream, "State your names!"

The first one said, "Well…my name's nobody."

"I'm Angry!" Replied a stumpy one.

"I'm F*cked." Said one of them and parted his hands.

"I'm Dead." Shrugged the fourth.

"I'm Pissed." Hissed another.

And the sixth one said, "I'm God…wait no…I'm The incredible Do-hingy of doom!!!!"

"We'll call you strange." Said Starscream.

Then the Cassettes entered and asked, "Hey! Who are these guys!?"

Starscream pointed and indicated each one, "Okay, he's Sleeping, that's Nobody, he's Angry, He's F*cked, the guy over there is Dead, and He's pissed. This guy here is Strange."

Rampage and Frenzy looked at each other before Rampage asked, "What is this? Is this a strange who's on first thingy?"

"No…" Replied Starscream, "Though I gotta admit they DO have strange names…" Said Starscream and then called out, "Er…new guys! Transform!!!

"All right!" Said Pissed and transformed.

The Decepticons watched in awe at the transformations.

Nobody changed into a Stove. Angry transformed into a Toaster, F*cked changed into a blender, Dead turned into a refrigerator, and Pissed changed into a breadbox. And Strange, after some difficulty, turned into a Kitchen sink.

There was silence.

"WHAT IS THIS!?!?!?" Wailed Starscream. He had expected something humiliating to happen to Megatron, not him! "Well…combine!"

The … uh… new guys combined into a larger robot who boomed, "I AM BATMA….I mean, Call me Fubar."

"What does that mean?" Asked Rampage.

"I dunno." Smiled Starscream, "But it's cool! Now, which one of you's which?"

"What do you mean?" asked Fubar.

"hey! Wait a sec! I'm Strange!" Replied the gun.

"That's enough." Said Starscream, "Now, we must take on Megatron and finish him off, then we will go after the Autobots and their pathetic leader Optimus!!"

"Ohh…look at the pretty camera…" Said Fubar.

Everyone looked up at the camera.

"Oh Cybertron! Quickly we must find and destroy Soundwave before he alerts Megatron!"

"I can fix that…" Said Sleeping and walked off.

Megatron was bent over a trash compactor and repeatedly slamming his head in between the crusher plates.

"Must SLAM Not SLAM Do SLAM This SLAM Again SLAM Uhh SLAM So SLAM Refresh SLAM-ing….SLAM"

Then Sleeping appeared, grabbed his back and shoved him into the trash compactor and hit the big red button.

"AHH!!!" Screamed Megatron and was crushed in the matrix.

Sleeping turned to go away when he saw a large warning label saying: DO NOT PLACE ANY BODY PART IN MACHINE.

"I guess he couldn't read…" Said Sleeping before walking back to the main control room.

Everyone gave up soon after (Well…Soundwave, Skywarp and Dirge. The constructions only shrugged, and the Stunticons just left.) and Starscream was in complete control of the Decepticons.

"Muahahahah!!! POWER IS SO SW33333333T!!!" yipped Starscream in happiness as the Constructions dumped liquid energy over him as he stood in a large tub. Why he wanted this…well…nobody wanted to ask.

Fubar, Sleeping, and the other Decepticons watched this little display in awe.

Then the constructions ran out of energon.

"Okay, show over." Said Scrapper and they dropped the pails.


"OW YOU MORONS!!!" screamed Starscream and ranted for fifteen minutes before declaring, "Now, Decepticons prepare to depart to crush the Autobots!!!"

"What's an Autobot?" Asked Pissed.

"Since when did you guys separate?" Asked Thrust.

The Fubar group shrugged.

"Now, let's go!" Cried Starscream.

Nobody tried to laugh.

Though Thundercracker was tempted to make some remark about invasion of the Kitchen appliances.

Well…to explain this with colorful descriptions, you know almost all Decepticons can fly right? So…imagine kitchen appliances…well you know.

Teletron one beeped, "Warning! Warning! Danger Danger! Autobots! Approaching Decepticons!"

"Is that thing fixed yet?" Asked Bumblebee.

"I don't think it's a glitch folks," Said Wheeljack, "I think this is the real thing."

"We got live Decepticlods approaching!" Said Ironhide.

Jazz said something clever which I couldn't possibly think about right now because I don't know what most people consider clever (Well…for 80's standards anyway).

But Optimus prime showed up and boomed, "What's going on?"

"We got Decepticons and a bunch of flying kitchen appliances approaching! And a bed!" Replied Jazz.

"Kitchen appliances? A Bed?" Asked Optimus, "Are you sure Teletron one has been fixed yet?"

"Yes, We're positive Optimus!" Replied Ultra Magnus.

"…who are you?" Asked Ironhide.

"I'm Ultra Magnus." Replied Ultra Magnus.

Wheeljack asked, "Er…do we know this guy?"

"You will after the movie. Course most of you die…" Said Ultra Magnus.

"We're all gonna die unless we stop that…er…flying kitchen bunch!" Said Ironhide.

"Quick! Er…outside!" Said Optimus.

Several main characters ran outside and gaped at the sight of the flying blender and other kitchen appliances.

They transformed and Starscream boomed, "Surrender Autobots!"

"Wait, who's the new guys?" Asked Ironhide.

"Well… I'm Nobody," said Nobody, "He's angry, the Blender's F*cked, He's dead, the guy over there's Pissed, and that's Strange." Said Nobody, "And the bed's sleeping."

"Hi." Said the Decepticon bed.

"Woa…cool names!" Said Bumblebee, "Optimus, why can't we have guys like that?"

"Well…because….uh…" Said Optimus and removed his mouthplate to read his lines, "Oh…" he put it back on, "Because Bumblebee, we're Autobots and we have to stick to true morals."

"….What's that got to do with anything!?" Asked Ironhide.

"Well…" Said Optimus, "I mean, what if you were called something dumb?"

"Who are you calling dumb!?" Asked Pissed.

Starscream called, "Decepticons!! Attack!!!"

"Wait a second!" Cried Sleeping and looked around, "You guys…wait…we've mashed Megatron and Starscream wants to kill the Autobots…right?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Hey!…uh…yeah!" Replied Rumble, "What's your point?"

"Isn't it easier if we set up our own bank account and BUY the energy we need from the humans instead of trying to steal it? I mean, how many Decepticons here have lost at least one part to being shot at and fired upon?"

"Well…He's got a point…" Said Skywarp.

"Hey, remember that guy Waspinator?" Asked Ramjet.

"Who?" Asked Soundwave.

"…forget it. Wrong series." Shrugged Ramjet.

Starscream crossed his arms, "Okay Mr. I've-got-a-better-plan…what do you suppose we do? How are we going to get this money?"

"Well…" Said Sleeping and looked around, "Hey! The Constructions can do work couldn't they? I mean…they ARE construction tools after all…"

There was silence before they said, "Well yeah…I guess we could do it."

"And Fubar…well…Fubar could go to Hollywood and make movies! I mean, it's not everyday that…uh…walking Kitchen appliances attack people or save the day…I mean you guys could have your own TV series or something…"

"What about us?" Asked Starscream.

"Well you'd be our leader naturally. Hey! Why don't you make a popular TV show and call it Jerry Swindle or something…" Suggested Sleeping.

"I like this guy!" Said Rampage to Frenzy.

Frenzy nodded, "Yeah! Let's go do it!"

The Decepticons left the Predicons armed with good ideas and Sleeping's leadership.

"Well…there go a bunch of happy Decepticons." Said Optimus, hands on hips.

"Isn't that usually a bad thing?" Asked Ironhide.

"Not until today." Said Ultra Magnus.

Meanwhile, back at the Decepticon base, the Garbage disposal chute opened and a re-proportioned Megatron emerged and sunk to the ocean floor.

"I hate Mondays." Said Megatron as two eyes peered from one face of the cube. Slowly two appendages extended themselves from the surface and moved the lump of Decepticon metal back to the base.


Yay or nay?

Next up: The Bedmasters!!!