Dire Maya

Waiting, waiting, waiting. I spend just about all day, every day, standing here at this lousy desk, waiting for Jack to call upon me or answer phone calls. It's not all bad though. I do get to watch all the pretty ladies that walk past. Ooh yeah, the pretty ladies. That's what I love most about this job. How could anyone deny that? It was an interesting day when Maya first showed up. She's not as pretty as the models, but there's just something about her. It's unnerving at times. I've seen the way she looks at me though. She may've had an office romance with Elliot but I know she wants me. She wants me because I am the Finch. She knows how amazing I am. I've seen it in her eyes. Hmm, looks like she's on her way to her daddy's office.

"Hellooo Maya." Too good Dennis, very sexy.

"Get lost Finch, I'm trying to work."

Yeah, she wants me. There's no doubt about it. Mmm, nice ass. Something one must notice when she makes her way into Jack's office. Wish she didn't have to slam the door behind her though. It's not nice to be rude to the one you love, but I know she's just doing it to try to divert my knowledge. It's not going to work. Silly girl. Ooh, another pretty lady. Ahh, it's not worth the trouble. Stupid Elliot. It's so unfair sometimes, how he gets all the chicks. Just because he's a stupid photographer. I bet if I were a photographer, they'd realise how good I was too. But the only people that seem to do that are my treasured porcelain cats. And Maya. Maya, Maya, Maya. When will you learn? All you have to do is ask the Finch out on a date and you've got him. What's that I hear? Ooh, here she comes. Look sexy Dennis.

"He-hey there Maya, did you have a good talk to your daddy?"

"What's your problem Finch? I'm just trying to do my job."

Think of something witty to say. Chicks dig that.

"My cock is too big." Good one Dennis, what the hell did you say that for?

"Oh grow up!"

Fuck it. You just ruined your chance boy, and now look at her! She's gone. Maybe I was wrong about Maya. She's too stubborn - too dire. So why do I want her? Why do I crumble every time she walks past? It's not because…no, it can't be. It's not because it's the last chance I have at becoming Jack's son, is it? I'm freaking out here. I'm going to hyperventilate. Breathe, Dennis, breathe. Maybe if I just ask Jack if I can marry her. People can still do that, can't they? Marry off their children to whomever they please? No. Maya wouldn't appreciate that at all. She's a bloody feminist. I should just ask her out. It's obvious she's too shy to do it. But then there's the whole Elliot thing. They were so lucky the way they started out. I wish it could've been me. I wouldn't have freaked out when marriage became an issue. Elliot was so stupid to let her go like that. Damn phone.

"Hello, Blush magazine, Dennis Finch speaking."

"Hi, this is Amy, may I please speak to Jack?"

Amy…Amy's Jack's fling, isn't she?

"Please hold."

Press the button Finch. There we go.

"Jack, Amy's on the phone."

"Oh, thanks Dennis, put her through."

Put her through, put her through. Do this, do that.

"Hi Amy, I'm just going to put you through."

Put her through. There we go. Now, where was I? Oh yes, what to do about Maya? Well, I could pretend there's a phone call for her…wait, yes, that's what I'll do. Now to dial her extension. There we go.


"Hi, ah, Maya, you have a call."

"Who is it?"

"A man by the name of…" I should've thought about this more. "…John. John Simpson I think. He says he's with some environmental company or something."

"I don't remember wanting to contact a John Simpson."

"Look, do you want me to put him through or not? I thought you liked environmental guys."

"Okay, okay, put him through." Yes!

All right, now to change the voice and things should be swimming.

"Hi, Maya Gallo I presume."

"Yes, that's me, what did you want?"

"I wanted to ask you if you could do a story for me."

"A story about what?" A story about what? Hmm, now, what to answer? I should've thought about this.

"Cats." Cats? What's your problem Dennis? She's going to be onto you in a second with that one!

"Dennis!" See. Damn it. What is my problem? Okay. No point keeping the voice of 'John' any more.

"I'm sorry Maya."

"Sorry? What do you mean sorry?"

Now what do I say? Think of a reason to give her. A reason why you did this! For fuck's sake Dennis, say something!

"I love you." Oops. "I mean, ah…forget I said that. Forget I did any of this."

Good, now hang up on her. Oh my god. I can't believe I just said that. Do I love her? Do I really love her? Damn it, I don't know any more. This is bad. Fuck. She's going to tell Jack - oh crap. I should've told her not to tell anyone.


Fuck. Shit. Act natural. Act like nothing even happened.

"What the hell was that about Dennis?"

"What was what about?"

"You saying you loved me!" Oh god, here we go. She sounds upset. I knew I shouldn't have said that. I have no idea why I said it.

"I don't remember saying that." Good, casual.

"Oh, so you don't have feelings for me? That's right, you're only in love with my breasts. I should've known." Hang on, that sounds like she wishes I were in love with her, for her.

"Hey, you know me, only after one thing." Stupid. Stupid Dennis! What the fuck do you think you're doing?

"Yeah, well…it's stupid. If you want breasts, go look at some models, there's plenty of them around to go perve on. I have feelings. Good bye."

Oh god. And there she goes. I just missed my chance. She could've been interested but now I'll never have another chance like that again. I think I'm going to cry.

© July 2001