Safe by being his Daughter
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of these characters (they belong to J. K. Rowling), nor the idea of Harry being the heir of Voldemort or Harry becoming a girl. I don't know who owns them, to say I'm sorry for borrowing them. If I would know, I would ask. However, I do own my plot.
Summary: After having been kidnapped by Death Eaters, Harry Potter is offered a unique opportunity: to die or to become someone else. But could a new life that would be dictated by his archenemy even be something worth considering? And could death truly be so much worse? Harry has to find out what he wants to do with his life and time is not on his side.
Genre: Drama / Romance
Warnings: This story may contain some swearing. Furthermore, it contains intelligent, independent Harry, not so nice Dumbledore, several dead characters, friendlier but not nice Death Eaters and Voldemort, a gender change and some minor bashings. In later chapters original characters will appear and play an important role. If you don't like any of that, then please don't read further.
1. Demonstrating Perfectionism
Out of nowhere the Death Eaters attacked them.
It had been a shock to all of them, nothing had prepared them for that possibility. In the middle of the night a loud signal had shrilled through the former quiet of and shook them from their peaceful sleep.
During the welcoming feast Headmaster Snape – it still felt rather fool on his mouth having to address the bastard with that title when it would forever be associated with the face of person of Albus Dumbledore – had informed them that in the case of acute and utmost danger this signal would alert them.
Should they ever hear this sound, they were to leave their classrooms, common rooms, dormitories or wherever they currently were and gather themselves in the Great Hall. There they would receive more the necessary information and further tasks, depending on the situation and danger at hand.
Some had laughed about this measure going so far as to joke about it. Most of those who laughed and rolled their eyes thought the measure useless. Others, however, were rather happy about the new safety system the school was provided with.
There were after all several known or suspected Death Eaters teaching at Hogwarts at the moment. The Alecto siblings had been appointed the task of teaching Dark Arts and Defence Against the Dark Arts whereas Professor Snape had even been made Headmaster. If those three thought it prudent to use this signal system then it probably was.
It had been strange returning to Hogwarts knowing full well that Dumbledore their former symbol of hope and success had died, murdered by some of the very Death Eaters who were now teaching at Hogwarts. With him their hope had died, every possibility for them to win the war and come out of this horrendous situation alive had vanished. No one expected them to be victorious anymore now that Dumbledore was dead. It had been their back step to reality, a rather harsh one that was it.
Sadly the more people realized they were in a tricky situation with the Death Eaters looming and roaming freely everywhere, with Dumbledore dead but Voldemort alive and kicking, a lot of people suddenly looked at Harry differently.
Now that there was nothing more to hope for many decided Harry had to be the one to safe them all. They didn't know how he could nor did they even want to think about the possibility that maybe he couldn't. All that mattered was that Harry Potter had faced him five times and each time he had come out of the situation alive. He was the one to safe them. He had to be.
He just had to be.
Stumbling out of his bed and rashly shrugging in his school robes, Harry could see his friends already leaving their dormitory. A frown appeared on his face.
At the beginning of the year they had agreed on should this case of emergency ever happen that they would wait for each other, wake the others up and help them should they need something. But now that they had this exact case of emergency suddenly no one seemed to be able to remember this agreement anymore. All they could obviously think about was rescuing their own skin and waiting for a friend could only hinder them.
A soft curse escaped Harry's lips when all of a sudden his world had turned black for mere seconds. Worry gripped Harry's heart, but he quelled it forcefully. Those tiny black-outs had started half a year ago and were appearing with ever increasing frequency and intensity.
While he stumbled through sudden black world Harry hadn't seen where he was going and as he didn't know what was happening Harry had hit his foot at Ron's bedpost rather painfully. It seemed to happen more often and regularly and with sudden dread Harry realized one day he might not only collapse all of a sudden but just break down without any signal to alert neither him nor an explanation as to why it would happen. One day he wouldn't just collapse and wake up minutes later.
One day he might break down and never weak up again.
This time, however, he had finally managed to leave the dormitory and stumble out of the common room. Harry could see that he was not the only or even the last one to head for the Great Hall. Several groups of younger students, some of them had to be first years they were so small, were looking around widely, their horror struck wide open eyes scanning the area for any potential danger while running towards their supposed to be safe destination.
It didn't ease Harry's worries at all. They were in danger. The longer they stayed outside the safe walls of the Great Hall the greater the chances that something might happen to them.
Before he could take action, Harry realized that he didn't have to fear the other students' safety. He rather should worry about his own.
Whereas the other students may be late they still were able to run and that rather quickly. Harry on the other hand had grave difficulties with only stumbling forward.
Every now and then his vision would blur, as if he had forgotten to take his glasses with him. His heart was beating painfully in his chest and sometimes he would suddenly have difficulties with breathing. As if a hand had wound itself around his heart and lungs, squeezing down harshly. This couldn't be normal; something was happening to him, something caused him to feel so horribly weak.
But he didn't know what.
From far ahead of him Harry could hear the distinct sounds of battle. People were shouting, curses were yelled, something was crashing against the walls and something was breaking down the windows. There were people screaming in obvious pain and distress.
With a faint feeling Harry closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the ice cold brick stone wall. His head hurt and his vision was spinning, not even pressing his heated skin against the wall would lighten this motion sickness. He was feeling weak; like something had rolled over him and an invisible string was constricting his lungs and heart. He was sick, so very ill and there was nothing he could do against it.
He had to fight and come out alive of this.
Gathering all his remaining strength Harry pushed himself from the wall and stumbled further forward. Just as he opened his eyes, he could the see the flash of poisonous green light breaking through the darkness. The green would forever haunt him in his nightmares. Feeling his heart sink and an enormous feeling of dread and fear grow in his frantically beating hearth Harry tried to move faster.
He had to save them. Remus was there, as was Tonks, Molly, Arthur, Bill, Charley and Moody. A group of full trained Aurors was stationed somewhere on the castle grounds, only waiting for the Death Eaters to show themselves. It was good to know, it gave him a better feeling. They would be able to protect the students when he couldn't.
But the Order and Aurors would never use the killing curse.
It was something Harry didn't want to think about. Reaching around the last corner Harry's hearth almost swelled in relief. He could see the doors of the Great Hall. Students and teachers were running around, the later shouting orders to the fearfully waiting students. He could see some of the older students following the teachers as they obviously prepared for the fight.
With a proud feeling Harry noticed that Hermione, Ron and Ginny were among them. They would never just cover in fear and wait for all of it to end. No, they would always take an active role in such a dire situation.
A fiery redhead girl was standing next to a red-headed boy and a brown haired young woman. The three of them were wearing stern and grave expression, light worry creeping over the females' faces while the male was trying to hide his discomfort and fear.
In the background Harry could see the teachers charming the castle walls and the doors so that most of the spells and curses would be blocked. A light frown appeared on his sweaty face. Nearly all of them were present, only three of them missing. He didn't think it possible but with a sinking feeling Harry suddenly realized what their absence meant.
There had been traitors among all this time.
The current Headmaster of Hogwarts and two of the teachers were missing. If they weren't present among those who were gathered in the Great Hall then there was only one other possibility for them to be. Those bastards were with Voldemort.
The greasy haired, pale faced and dark eyed Potions Master, the dark-red haired and blue-eyed crazy looking woman with her feral grin and her brother with the same facial features and only some more scars gracing his body, the Alecto siblings, were currently kissing their lord's feet. It was disgusting and revolting.
Suddenly a loud, booming voice almost made him jump.
"So, that's it." Professor McGonagall stood tall and proud as she addressed the assembled students. Naturally, she had taken the lead after their current Headmaster's absence.
"Everything is ready. The walls and the doors are guarded; it will be impossible for the Death Eaters to enter. All students who wish to remain here in safety will go further inside the hall. I will guard and ward the doors so that they will open again once everything is over and there is no more danger." She paused and visibly steeled herself for what she was about to say.
"All students who are in their last year and wish to fight, please step out of the hall and gather around me. I won't try to hinder you. But remember, once outside there is no way to get into the safe halls again." Her weary eyes implored them to think prudently about what their decision. "Your decision will be definite."
There was a small pause, then a tiny group of students stepped out of the hall and gathered around the Professor. Harry's heart was jumping with gratefulness; most of those students were from his former DA group. He had trained them personally. It made him proud to see that his former students and class mates were confident and strong enough to face such dangers.
But at the same time an incredible fear overtook him. All of a sudden he wished for them to remain inside the Great Hall. It was true, he had trained and prepared them as best as he could. But what if it hadn't been enough? What if they got hurt because of his lack of teaching abilities? What if someone even got killed?
It would be too much for him to bear.
When Professor McGonagall's gaze met his, her eyes grew softer but concerned. She could the fine layers of sweat covering his fragile body. He was trembling and sometimes his eyes would spin a little. He looked like death on his feet, as if the next soft wind blow would break him. He was weak, no, he was ill, and she could see it. She had seen it all the time before but never had the thought crossed her mind to send him to Poppy. She had to wonder why.
But now it was too late. Now, while they were under attack, Harry would have to function. It was his duty to vanquish the darkness. She couldn't take pity on him now and allow him to just rest like all those others. No, Harry had to fight.
It was his task to fulfil.
She sighed softly, but shook those lingering thoughts off. There was no time for doubts. "Listen closely. We will go out there as a group and stay near the doors. The Death Eaters won't be able to enter. We will guard the castle entrances with our very lives."
She turned towards Harry as she addressed him. "Mr. Potter and the Aurors will try to take them out as fast as possible. This is why we stay behind, we will guard their backs. No spell or curse shall hit them from behind." She glanced at the students standing around her, her eyes gleaming intently. "This is our task. The others will try to stop them. This way, nothing can go wrong. We will be victorious, they won't get the school."
While the students cheered and tried in vain to mask their growing fear and dread, Harry idly wondered when he had declared he would be one of those suicidal people to try and fight with the Death Eaters in direct combat. He couldn't remember ever having volunteered to do so, nor had he ever been asked if he would be willing to.
It seemed people just suspected or knew he would do it and this angered him in a way that could not be put into words. Who were they to decide whether he was willing to sacrifice his life or not? It just wasn't fair!
Through his anger filled vision and his furiously pounding heart, Harry realized Professor McGonagall had ended her pep talk and was currently leading the group of students and teachers towards the doors leading to the castle grounds. Still shaking, though this time due to rage and not his strange weakness, Harry followed them.
It would be hard, he reminded himself, he had to be careful, extract exact knowledge of his surroundings, otherwise with Death Eaters and perhaps even Voldemort running wild on the school grounds he would be as good as dead.
They reached the castle doors within what seemed to be seconds. With pounding hearths and fearfully clutched and gripped wands in their hands the students stared at the dark wooden material and tried to prepare themselves for what was to come. Some had wide open eyes, others were biting their lips nervously, some were shaking like leafs in a full blown storm and others again had their lips so firmly pressed together that it looked as if they had none at all. It was their way, their special and personal way to deal with this enormous stress.
Before they could look back the doors were suddenly thrown open. In an instant the students prepared themselves, wands raised ready to attack and heads lightly dodged. Not waiting until fear and rational thinking could get the better of them, the students suddenly started to run leaving the castle with loud and animalistic battle screams. Harry was a bit surprised by the obvious feral battle instincts, braced himself and followed behind them. He was to protect them after all; it wouldn't do him any good to stay hidden in the castle.
What he saw, however, shocked him.
There were people fighting everywhere.
Figures in black with silver bone masks were throwing dark curses and vicious spells at brightly clad people, electing screams of pain and horror from their victims. Their black, hooded cloaks were masking their genders and identities perfectly; they looked completely alike, there was no real difference visible. Their silver skull masks shone brightly in the pale moonlight.
It wasn't full moon, but nevertheless one could see quite clearly without the use of any candles or other light sources. Red, green and bright orange light was shining through the darkness, creating a feeling of enormous uneasiness.
When Harry had realized it wasn't full moon, he had thanked all possible gods and fate with all his heart. At least he wouldn't have to worry about that. He knew Voldemort had a strong alliance with the werewolves. They were vowing to support him and do as he pleased, while Voldemort let them roam the grounds and through the forests during full moons. The rate of infected victims had increased dramatically.
The first few times during full moon those unfortunate victims could be kept hidden and guarded, but during the first year after their infection, one full moon night they would suddenly disappear, leaving behind devastated parents, siblings, family and friends. It was said they left to bring no further shame upon their families. Or that was what the Ministry and the families kept saying. Harry didn't believe this. He had another theory.
The infected were collected by their respective alphas to be trained and socialized.
Taking a quick glance to get a feeling for the situation, Harry suddenly had to grab the wall for support as his vision began to blur yet again. Until now he had been able to walk just fine due the huge amounts of adrenalin pumping through his veins. Now, facing the danger and realizing how bad their situation truly was, reality struck him like lightning. The adrenalin vanished leaving him behind weak and powerless. If he wasn't careful he wouldn't need a Death Eater to take him out. He would even manage it to do this himself without Death Eater influence.
"Harry!" An enraged voice suddenly reached his clouded mind. "What are you doing? The fight is over there, near the forest! We don't have the time to space out and look around the field for eternity. Do something! Fight them, Harry!"
Shaking himself from his stupor Harry looked around. Hermione and Ron were standing behind him guarding the doors against every eventual intruder while taking them out with stunning spells. Their eyes were fixed on the enemy forces, their brains working like mad to try to figure out what they would be doing next.
Confusion spread through Harry. It wasn't them who had been screaming at him. It had been Ginny. The small but fiery redhead was standing beside them throwing tickling curses and wobbly legs hexes at each person passing their way. Her eyes were burning and her aura was emitting a slight killer intent if that was even possible.
Gulping Harry decided he wouldn't want to cross her path and therefore decided it would be prudent to start taking an active role in this battle. Raising his wand with a steal like grip Harry slowly stumbled forward. He couldn't really decide where to go to as small groups of four or five were fighting everywhere. Deciding to join the next best group, Harry turned slightly left and prepared himself. The fight was fierce, even killing curses were flying through the air although thankfully no one was hit so far.
Suddenly his foot connected with something hard nearly causing Harry to fall in the process. With fear in his eyes Harry looked down to see what nearly had caused him to kiss the floor. What he saw made him gag.
A young Auror had obviously been hit with something a vicious and elder Death Eater must have fired. Blood was running out of his eyes, his mouth was open in a silent scream, his skin over and over marked with gashes and scars. His left leg was missing with blood soaking in the wet and muddy ground. He could see the leg lying several meters away.
Automatically his eyes searched for his chest. If the poor man was living and Harry thought about killing him himself. There was no possibility on earth that this man could be saved in any way. Finding the man's chest blood soaked Harry realized with a jolt of relieve that is wasn't moving anymore indicating the poor man was thankfully already dead.
A small prayer was sent to whatever god was watching and guarding this spectacle. Had the man been still been alive, Harry wouldn't have known what to do. He might have just cried and broke down.
He was about to straighten up again and find his place in the battle, when a loud explosion made him spin around in horror. There, at the entrance door to the castle interior, was burning a bright blue fire. The heat could be felt several meters away causing Harry's skin to become red and dry. He wanted to scream, he wanted to rage, to kill, to damage. He wanted to run to the fire and do what he could to stop it from burning. He wanted to throw himself into it.
But he didn't.
It was a magical fire.
His friends, the one he had thought of as his family, were surrounded by the most dangerous and deadly fire. The problem wasn't the fire itself but its properties were. From the outside it looked like ordinary fire, but if one came near enough and tried to touch it, he or she would realize that it was hard like steal. One couldn't pass through this fire; it was completely guarded, making it perfect for any kind of repelling or guarding aims.
The only problem was one couldn't leave it either.
Tears started to stream down Harry's pale, sunken cheeks. A thick and heavy lump was forming in his throat, making it difficult for him to breathe and to gulp. While he was standing there, looking at the bright blue fire, his friends were trapped inside it with no possible way of escape. He wanted to help them extinguish it in any possible way. But he couldn't. The fire had another property. It would burn as long as something was there that it could feed off from. His friends would die. There was no way for him to get them out of it alive. He knew it. And they would know as well.
The worst was that they probably weren't even meant to die through the fire's hands.
The spell was normally used to guard important and powerful objects. It wasn't normally used in combats and if it was then not as a form of attack. It was meant to defend and to keep safe, not to harm and kill. Someone must have used it to protect the entrance, to keep the Death Eaters from entering. Whoever it was must not have looked correctly missing the black clad Hogwarts students and thinking it had been left unprotected. His friends were dying because someone had been in a hurry and had cast this spell to protect the other students without making sure nobody was standing there.
His friends were dying this very moment and it was completely useless.
His friends' deaths were useless. And this didn't help him at all.
With tears still streaming down his face and clouding his vision, sobs now wrecking his body and hate, anger and loathing burning powerfully in his heart and soul Harry stood up again – too lost in his grieve he hadn't realized he had fallen to the ground some time ago – and turned back around towards the battles.
His wand was shaking in his trembling fist but he didn't care. All he could think about was that the one thing he had been fighting for would be taken from him this very instant. His friends and family were about to die and there was nothing he could do for them.
He wouldn't even be able to bury them.
Far away he heard someone laugh. He didn't know why and didn't think the person was laughing about him, about his situation or about his loss of his true family and friends. The person probably didn't even know about it yet. But the very thought that someone was happy enough to laugh while he was just about to lose his only friends and family at this very moment was just too much for him. His fragile and several times broken heart just couldn't take any more pain.
With tears still in his eyes and clouding his vision Harry stumbled more than he walked through the battle field. His wand was raised in attack but shaking so badly one might have feared he would lose it any moment. His mind was racing and yet at the same time it was absolutely blank.
If someone were to attack him Harry wouldn't know what to do. He had his wand and it was raised to attack but he wouldn't know which curse, hex or spell to utter. He couldn't think about anything at the moment. He might die within the next second and even if he would Harry couldn't bring himself to care. He had lost too much at the moment, he just didn't care anymore.
A bright, deep red flash of light suddenly came out of nowhere. Having no time to react and feeling too weak to care the red light hit Harry right in the chest. At first nothing happened then his bright green eyed fluttered close, his body became limp and finally the boy collapsed.
Harry would have hit the floor hard as he was standing outside on a path leading down to the forest. He would have surely hurt himself by falling like this but mere moments before his prone body hit the hard floor, a strong pair of hands grabbed his upper body and held him upright. With a sudden movement Harry was lifted from the floor and brought to a firm chest, one arm under his knees and one under his neck holding him closely and with a firm grip.
The tall figure, clad in a long, black cloak with a thick hood and a silver skull as a mask was holding Harry Potter guarding him as if he never wanted to let him go again. A pair of blue eyes looked around scanning the area for all possible and impossible dangers. Next to him the Death Eaters and the Order members were fighting fiercely. The black cloaked figures were fighting elegantly. Their movements were unexpected and their attacks full of wit and cunning.
"By Merlin! They've got Potter! Stop them!"
The loud scream brought any activity to a sudden halt. With big, horror struck eyes the Order members were staring at the one Death Eater standing a little further away from the others. They couldn't believe what they were seeing.
Their saviour, the one prophesied to safe them all by vanquishing the Dark Lord was lying limply in the arms of a filthy Death Eater. His eyes were closed, his mouth hanging lightly open and his face sickly pale. A fine layer of sweat was covering his face. He looked like death was about to knock at his door.
The moment the Order members realized their current situation hell broke loose. Had they been fighting fiercely before now they were fighting for their dear lives. If the Death Eaters got Harry Potter everything would be lost. Stunning curses were thrown, curses which would make the victim's legs snap, glue them together, freeze them or hinder their escape in any way possible flying around, aimed to hit the black cloaked figure and the stunned boy in its arms.
Sadly they didn't reach their goal.
Elegantly the Death Eater evaded each and every flying curse. Turning right, turning left, jumping, running or stopping the black cloaked figure held the boy to his chest as if he was an important and precious price. Every curse and spell that was shot too near to the man carrying the boy was countered by the remaining Death Eaters.
It was well planned, well thought through and especially well carried out. It was a masterpiece of an act, no one would be able to break through them and their concentration. They had studied their moves and the way they implemented them it only could end with their success.
"Stop them! You have to stop them! At any cost!"
The shout was desperate, full of utmost horror and fear. The Order members tried to increase the number of their spells and their force. But it wouldn't work.
The more spells and curses they uttered the more they were taken out by the huge number of Death Eaters still roaming freely across the castle grounds. The one carrying the boy finally started to sprint running over to where the Forbidden Forest began. Crossing an invisible line the Death Eater stopped suddenly, spun around and then with a last dangerous glint in his eyes and a leering smirk on his face the man vanished into the darkness of the night taking the wizarding world's last hope with him.
As if the animalistic scream and the disappearance of the one Death Eater together with the supposed saviour had been a secret signal the remaining Death Eaters started to run towards the spot the two had vanished before.
Instead of throwing curses, they only dodged them. Death Eater by Death Eater reached the first trees of the Forbidden Forest. The last three Death Eaters took their departure together. Stopping at the invisible border the three turned around, took their hands, bowed mockingly to the devastated Order members before vanishing with a loud bang leaving behind nothing.
"No, you let them disappear! You let them take Harry with them! You failed, all of you failed!"
A sobbing, lonely figure appeared where the Death Eaters had kidnapped their only hope for a better future. The man took a deep, shuddering breath his eyes aimlessly roaming over the deep footprints in the long, wet grass. Now they were still visible but soon they would vanish just like the precious boy in the evil Death Eater's arms. Tears streamed down his pale cheeks only to be whipped away by trembling hands. As his sobs increased, the man couldn't take it anymore. Sinking down on his knees he banged his fists against the wet floor allowing his feelings to roam freely.
They had lost their only hope for a better life. The Death Eaters together with Voldemort wouldn't let the boy come out of it alive. There would be no chance for the poor boy that had been in such a horrible state the last months to come out of this situation still breathing.
They had failed. They had failed themselves, they had failed their society, they had failed Lily and James who wanted their son to be safe and worst of all they had failed Harry.
By losing him.