i Don't Know

by xX..yanne..Xx

Lily sat comfortably on the couch in front of the fire, with her legs slung over the arm of the couch. There was a book opened in front of her but one could easily see that she wasn't really reading. In fact, it seemed like she was oblivious to the fact that she was holding something. First is because she was holding the book upside-down. And second, her vibrant green eyes were directed towards a certain bespectacled raven-haired boy. Luckily, he was too wrapped up in the conversation he was having with his bestfriend that he didn't notice her staring at him.

She saw James run his hand through his messy hair. She frowned. She hated it when he did that. It was an infuriating habit. And yet she found it cute. And then he laughed at something Sirius had said. His laughter reverberated through the whole Common Room that their co-Gryffindors turned to look at him. Lily wrinkled her nose. Didn't he care that there were other students there besides him and his mate? But then, there was definitely something in his carefree laughter that sent waves running through her body that tickled her and made her smile to herself.

She was too focused on James that she didn't notice it when someone sat on the couch in front of her. She jumped and dropped the book when Remus cleared his throat.

"Oh, it's you," she said, placing a hand over her pounding heart.

Among the four Marauders, which were James and his friends, Lily was fairly closest to Remus. It was his kind and calm personality that made him such a great friend.

"Taking in a spectacular scenery, I suppose?" Remus teased her.

Lily rolled her eyes and picked up the book she dropped.

Remus inclined his head to study Lily's expression.

"Lily, tell me the truth," Remus insisted earnestly, all traces of teasing gone. "Do you love James, or not?"

Lily sighed. Lying was out. She knew Remus would see through her immediately.

"I do," she admitted, her voice just above a whisper.

Remus smiled contentedly.

"Oh, I knew you'd come around," he said, leaning his back on the couch.

"But, the thing is, I don't know why I love him," Lily said quietly, looking down at her hands as she spoke.

Remus raised his eyebrows and took a glance at his friend.

"Perhaps it was because you saw how attractive he really is – hey, don't look at me like that; girls say he is."

Lily chuckled.

"Mr. Lupin, if I didn't know better, I'd think you fancy James Potter," Lily joked.

Remus rolled his eyes.

Lily sighed and looked over at James. He was really attractive. But it wasn't so dominant compared to his friend Sirius. No, Lily hadn't once noticed how adorable he was. His eyes were a warm and soft hazel behind his glasses. Lily found it…endearing even though she had once promised to herself that she would only go for guys with blue eyes. She had thought brown eyes were uninteresting. No, it wasn't his eyes. Perhaps it was how muscular and tall he was despite being lean. Lily inclined her head to the side to study his stance. No, it wasn't his body. Then maybe it was his very untidy hair. Uh – no. She hated anything messy.

Lily shook her head at Remus.

"No, that isn't it," she said at last.

Remus thought for a moment.

"Well, he is a brilliant Quidditch player," he told her as if she needed reminding. "A Head Boy and a top student like you."

Lily considered Remus's words. She watched him play as Chaser during Quidditch matches and she thought he was simply amazing. He was a great Head Boy and a remarkable student.

Lily shrugged.

"I guess."

"You're not sure?"

Lily shook her head.

"He actually makes me forget to study," she confessed with a blush. "And I think about him every night that I don't have time for sleeping."

"And that's still not it?"


Remus sighed heavily.

"Well, we've gone through all that's lovable about him."

Lily's mouth curled into a half-smile.


"Then if you don't love him because he's utterly adorable, admirable and attractive – "

"Seriously, Remus, are you a bloke or not?"

Remus glared at her.

"I'm trying to help you out here."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"As I was saying, if you don't love him because he's – adorable, admirable and attractive, then maybe it is because of his stupidity."

Lily gave him a funny look.

"If I agree, does that mean there's a possibility that I may be in-love with Peter too?" she said. "Er – I know that was mean but…"

The two looked at Peter who was joining James and Sirius. As he sat on the seat next to James, he missed the chair and fell on his butt.

Lily covered her mouth to keep from laughing.

"I didn't plan that."

Remus smiled and shook his head.

"Well, Lily, I did my best," he said with a mock sigh.

Lily smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, Remus."

He patted her shoulders before leaving and joining James and the others. She saw him whisper something on James's ear. And when James turned to grin at Lily, she felt butterflies – no, birds – assaulting her stomach. And she didn't even know there were birds inside it.

And that's how Lily figured out why she loved James Potter. She loved him because…

…she did.

She simply did.

Isn't that reason enough?

Oh, please, please, please review…