I don't own anything but my own weird ideas. This story is my and itat88's brainchild and I have no idea what we've been thinking. Neither of us has been drunk or under the influence of any drugs while writing this.

We mean no offence towards anyone.

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Greek Wizard Severus Aristoteles Snapopulos came into Hogwarts one stormy day to take up the position of Potions Master. Unfortunately, nobody knew he was coming.

'Oh,' he thought, 'must have they forgotten'

Nevertheless, he walked silently, as was his custom, into the cold, old castle and looked around when suddenly, the wise old man with the white beard appeared and greeted him: "Hellas!" he called out.

"Hellas!" Severus Aristoteles Snapopulos cried back and raised his hands in greeting. "Is nice of you to meet me come! I come for Master Potions Professorship. And I hear of young Mistress Charms lady left here for me! Where she is? And where is lab Potions?"

"Ah!" replied the wise old man Dumbledore. "Here she is," and suddenly appeared a wonderful, beautiful, fair, goddess-like young woman, her hair in the style of Helena, and Severus Aristoteles Snapopulos clapped his hands together, and pulled a small, silver bottle from his sleeveless tunic and uncorked it. "Ouzo!"

The young lady, beautiful and fair and goddess-like, like Helena, floated towards him, stared at his tanned form, his feet in sandals and the oily, combed back hair and her face broke out in the most wonderful smile Greek Wizard Severus Aristoteles Snapopulos had ever laid eyes on. She snapped her lovely fingers, and the silver bottle hovered to her and she took a sip as well, never taking her eyes off him.

"Hermione Helena Granger is my name," she whispered in her soft, flowing voice and was coming ever closer to Severus Aristoteles Snapopulos.

She pushed the silver bottle back into his tunic, her fingers grazing his bare, hairless, muscled chest, and smiled seductively. Like Helena.

"Hellas," he whispered and could not help but pull her into his strong arms and kiss her.

***