Chapter 1 Happy beginnings
"It's…ah… interesting" I said as I stood in front of the mirror, playing with the many -and I mean many -layers of puffiness.
"You hate it" Aunt Alice wined. "You are so much like your mother…this dress is a classic Nessie"
"Sorry Aunt Alice but I never really pictured getting married in a big puffy princess dress and besides the wedding is on a beach. I seriously want something appropriate for an outside wedding, something… simple" I explained.
"Alice that dress is pretty huge" my mom agreed.
"Oh, shush what do you know?" Aunt Alice barked.
My mother and I both tried to conceal laughter.
"Ness, here" Aunt Alice handed-well more like threw- me a dress zipped up in a clothing bag "This one is simple…boring…you know that stuff you and your mom like" she actually had a pout on her face.
I unzipped the bag and knew this dress was the one. It was white and almost floor length. With skinny spaghetti straps stitched with lace flowers, the straps crossing in the back. This dress was the dress, this dress was my dress.
"Renesmee, you ok?" My mom asked.
I hadn't realized that I stood there speechless just staring.
"Oh, nothing I'll try it on"
As I slipped out of the 'classic' i.e. the puffy uncomfortable hell dress, I gently pulled the simple white dress off the hanger and out of the clothing bag.
It fit me like a glove. It was perfect; the bodice lay softly against my curves, my décolleté slightly exposed.
"Nessie…? Is everything ok in there?" I heard Aunt Alice call out.
"Is better than ok" I beamed as I pulled the curtain back. My mother's face was the first I saw, her mouth dropped to the floor. Aunt Alice couldn't hide her smile; she was seeing what I saw.
"So…? What do you think?" I quizzed as the silence lasted longer than I thought it would.
"It's…beautiful, it's perfect…it's you Renesmee" my mother smiled. I turned to Aunt Alice who hadn't said a word.
"Aunt Alice…?" I asked in anticipation.
She sighed "This is the dress…"
"You sound disappointed" I asked, actually disappointed myself.
"No…it's beautiful on you"
"Then what's the problem Aunt Alice?" I asked in confusion.
"I just had a couple more I wanted you to try on before you made a final decision"
"Well Aunt Alice I haven't made a final decision, I can still try on a few more… its ok" I lied. I knew this was the dress I would marry my Jacob in.
"It's pointless Ness" Aunt Alice began "I just had a vision of you in this dress, and you looked beautiful… no need in trying on anymore" she smiled as she pulled a wad of cash out of her purse.
"I can pay for it myself…"
"Don't be silly, consider this a wedding gift…now lets hurry because Jacob needs to go to his tuxedo fitting"
I paused. I knew Jacob, and I knew there was no way he would wear a tuxedo, not even to our wedding.
"Umm…does he know about this?" I questioned
"Well, I told him we need to fit him for the wedding"
"Yea…about the whole tuxedo thing" I began "Umm, Jake isn't going to wear one"
Aunt Alice's face looked shocked "What do you mean he is …not…going… to… wear… one?" she emphasized every word "It's your wedding day for God's sake!" she snapped.
"It's …our… wedding day" I corrected "And I want him to be happy and comfortable…he won't be happy and comfortable in a tuxedo"
"Sorry to say it but she is right Alice" my mom amended.
Alice glowered at us before she stormed by us dashing to the register. She threw the wad of cash down before leaving the store "I'll be in the car" she snapped.
We laughed silently as she walked out of the store.
"She'll get over it" my mom smiled. She stood up in front of me.
"Or she will get her way and then I'll have to deal with Jacob" I said as I turned towards the mirror again.
My mother just stood behind me silent. I turned to face her again to see that her eyes were not meeting her smile.
"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked concerned.
She seemed to slightly snap out of her trance "Oh…I…"
"I…I am just so happy that you are happy. I cant believe my little nudger is all grown up…your getting married" she said as if the realization was just setting in "you have to understand being a vampire… time is different for us…it feels like just this morning I held you for the first time"
A single tear streamed down my face. I was crying tears that she couldn't. I was crying for the both of us.
"I love you" I said as I hugged her, she embraced me tightly.
"More than my own life" she said softly. A new wave of tears swam down my cheeks. That was the quote in the locket she'd given me all those years ago. She'd said those words to me in the clearing that cold day when the Volturi was deciding our fait.
I'd broke the chain to that locket a couple years after I received it-of course while rough housing with Jacob- I remember sticking the locket on a thin piece of blue yarn and tying it into a secure knot on the side of my mirror in my room.
Every time I glanced at it I would remind myself to go get the chain replaced so I could wear it again. But I never did.
"Well" she released me as I quickly wiped the last of my tears away "We shouldn't keep Alice waiting… go change" she smiled.
I went into the dressing room to slip out of the dress when I stopped in front of the mirror, looking at myself, looking at this elegant dress lay gently against my body. I looked so different …I almost didn't recognize myself. Not because of the dress and not because my hair was down flowing well past my shoulders which was rare- I never wore my hair down.
But I was different because I wasn't the little girl fighting against anything or anyone anymore. I didn't feel like a little girl playing dress up in the 'big girls' clothes.
I was –now- this young woman who was sure of herself, who was sure of her love. I was no longer fickle minded or confused. My mind was no longer elsewhere. I wasn't playing dress up.
I thought of Jacob and a wave of angst overtook my senses. I wanted to be with him right now. I needed to feel him by my side as I got to know this new woman. I wished he were holding my hand as I stared at myself introducing the little girl version of myself to the adult me.
My mother called out. I finally had the dress off and tucked neatly in the clothing bag.
"Coming" I said as my eyes still stayed fixed on the mirror. I saw myself but I saw myself as a small child. I saw me brushing my many ringlets of hair out of my face, with a frustrated look, I truly hated wearing my hair down; my big brown eyes bright under the thick shade of my eyelashes, my already rosy red cheeks began to blush even more against my porcelain white skin as I seemed to be bashful or shying away from something.
I smiled slightly "goodbye Nessie Cullen" I whispered to the child version of myself. I was feeling half crazy as the child version of me vanished from the mirror it was just me there; staring at my reflection. I laughed to myself.
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath of confidence.
"Hello Renesmee Black" I said. I smiled and walked out of the dressing room.
Chapter 1 Part II
"I don't know where my shoes are I thought you had them" I shouted frustrated as I sat in the man made dressing room which in all actuality was the living room in Embry's house, he lived the closest to the beach and Aunt Alice insisted that I have a 'prep room' close to wear the ceremony would be.
"It's too small in here…that's why we cant find anything" Aunt Alice snapped as she dug through bag after bag searching for these ridiculous six inch heals she picked out for me- another 'wedding gift'- that I did not want to wear.
First off I'd warn heals three times in my entire life so I really wasn't that good at it. Second and most importantly how was I expected to wear these heals in sand and not fall face first in front of 75 guest?
"Stop moving…and talking" Aunt Rose ordered.
"Sorry" I said as she applied more blush to my cheeks.
"Aunt Rose…I don't want a lot of make up…please just simple" I asked politely.
I heard Aunt Alice snort "If I hear the word simple one more time" she called out.
Aunt Rose and I both laughed.
"Don't worry" Aunt Rose smiled.
"Aunt Rose…" I whispered as Aunt Alice left to go search the car for my missing shoes which I thought subconsciously I'd lost on purpose "What if I walked bare foot?"
"Nessie…you truly have been hanging around these wild animals too long."
"Stop…and I'm serious" I sat straight up in the chair as she pinned little white flowers in my hair. These flowers matched the lace ones on my dress.
"Think about it…its really warm today and that's rare, its in sand…how young and romantic would that be…I have a new pedicure so it shouldn't…"
"Nessie" she interrupted "…or you just don't want to walk in those heals?"
She figured me out, but in all honesty I think with the 'simple' theme of the wedding being bare foot would be very classy in a new updated kind of way.
I smiled as she placed the last flower in my hair. The front of my hair was pinned lightly behind my ears as the back of my hair laid in long flowing ringlets.
"Ness, wear what you want…it's your day" she took one last look at me and sighed in relief "All finished" she smiled angelically.
"Thank you" I smiled back.
"Must you fight me at every turn?" I heard Aunt Alice yell out as she stormed in the room.
"What are you talking about?" I said as I stood up in front of the mirror looking at the entire finished product, something was missing. I didn't feel like I was done getting ready.
"I just had a vision of you walking down the aisle barefoot…Ness…barefoot?!"
"Alice lets please remember this is her day and I think it will be beautiful" Aunt Rose winked at me.
"Ugh…fine it is your day but you should know that there are only five pairs of those shoes in distribution"
"So we won't be needing these?" I heard my mother's voice call back behind me.
"Mom" I smiled. She walked over to me, she'd found the shoes on my bed in the box, she placed them on the floor before she spoke.
"I'm speechless…beautiful isn't even the word" she looked at me as unadulterated joy melted from her liquid golden brown eyes. "You look so much like your father…thank God for that" she joked.
I smiled. My mother never quite understood how beautiful she was not just as an immortal but I'd seen pictures of her in her human years, I was so happy to have her chocolate brown eyes.
"Something is missing" I said regretfully
"Yea…shoes" I heard Aunt Alice snap.
"Ah…we will let you two talk…come on Alice…now" Aunt Rose said as she pulled Aunt Alice out of the door.
"What's missing sweetie?" she looked confused "You look better than perfect"
I sighed as I studied the mirror-which we'd taken out of my room- further, trying to find the missing puzzle. Something caught my eye. It was my locket on that thin piece of blue yarn. I reached for it; untying the knot from the mirror.
I tied it around my neck. This was the missing piece.
My mother smiled "You were right…this was missing"
"Are you ready? Your father will be in here in a minute"
I inhaled and for the first time in three weeks a wave of nerves encompassed my body. In just a few short minutes I would be Jacob's wife. I would be moved out of my home. I felt almost uneasy.
I wasn't doubtful because I am completely sure of Jacob but this step was huge. I felt my heart start to sputter, I felt like I would begin to sweat.
"Calm down" my mom grabbed my hands; she obviously heard my heart accelerate.
"It's normal to feel like this…right?" I asked my voice shaky and unsure.
"Yes it's very normal" she touched my face.
I exhaled. "Right…I'm crazy…everything is good, it's fine, completely fine…I'm…"
I turned to see my father standing there with a crooked smile on his face.
"You're rambling" he continued.
"She is just a little nervous" my mom said as she turned towards my father.
"I'm not nervous" I said quickly in denial, only after realizing that my father was reading all the thoughts in my head obviously indicating my nervousness.
"Ok, just a little" I conceded.
My mother walked over to me "I'll see you after" she winked then kissed me on the cheek. She placed her hand on my father's chest before walking out of the house.
"Dad…there is no point in lying. I'm freaking out right now and I don't know why" I said quickly. He smiled again as he walked towards me.
"First I'd like to say you look beyond beautiful sweetheart"
"It's only the reality setting in. It's perfectly common" he continued.
"I felt almost the same way on my wedding day"
I looked at him confused "Really…you were nervous?"
"Well more so for the fact that I didn't know if your mother was going to let her nerves get the best of her and run out of the room" he chuckled "but one thing in life I've never been more sure of was marrying your mother…but its healthy to have a little nerves with the anticipation"
My father was right, I wasn't nervous because of doubt or indecision but it was the anticipation knowing that now I could finally claim Jacob as my own and he could claim me as his though I'd been open and willingly to be claimed by him all along. I was more than ready; I was so ready to be Mrs. Renesmee Black that it was making me sick to my stomach.
"I'm glad I was able to help" my father said as he was obviously reading my mind. "It looks like it's almost show time"
A smile rimmed across my face a part of me wanted to run into Jacob's arms scream 'I do' and begin the rest of our existence together.
"I'm ready" I took my father's ice cold hand but he didn't move.
"Nessie, I want you to know how proud I am of you…I don't want to keep you any further but I want you to know how much I love you"
"Dad I know how much you love me…and I love you more" I smiled.
"Impossible" he said as he opened the door for me to walk out of.
"Shall we?" he asked.
I nodded as I walked out of the house ready to walk to my destiny, walk to my incessant tomorrow, walk to my personal sun, walk to my Jacob.
The music played as my father and I walked to the beginning of the aisle. The song was a soft peaceful traditional Quileute tribal song. It was beautiful, each instrument seeming to dance magically and euphorically together.
I could see Leah, Seth and Sue sitting side by side. I could see Quil and Claire and Jacob's sisters and Paul sitting behind Embry and Jared. I could see my grandpa Charlie sitting beside my mom, grandma Esme and grandpa Carlisle, all of my aunts and uncles sitting behind them. I was very happy to see our vampire 'family' The Denali Coven, the Amazon Coven and the Irish Coven sitting in the back rows.
Then my eyes finally lifted to see the most important resolute person in the room. He stood there in black slacks, a white button up with a skinny black tie. I couldn't look at his face…not yet at least, I wasn't close enough yet, I wanted to save his face for when I was standing directly in front of him.
My father and I moved slowly down the aisle as everyone rose to there feet. I could feel all of their eyes bearing through me, I felt self conscious. I could see tears in the eyes of those who could cry and the look of joy in the ones who were not able to cry.
I was completely immersed in every second, in every little specific event that occurred. I was aware. I heard my grandpa Charlie clear his throat, I heard the reverend turn the page in his bible. I could here the birds chirping in the near by tree's. I could see each individual ray of sun reflect off of the water. It was a warm day to be in the Olympic peninsula, I could feel the heat wrap around my body protectively.
I could feel my father's ice cold hand as he moved his thumb in a circular motion in an attempt to slow my racing heart beat. My heart thudded triple with each step; thud thud thud, thud thud thud.
I could feel the warm sand mold against my bare feet. With each grain emerging then dislodging it's self from in between my toes. I was like a sponge I was absorbing everything around me; I was taking it all in. I wanted every aspect of the happiest day of my life to be cemented in my memory.
Then finally I was there, close enough to touch him. I finally looked up to see Jacob's face he looked aw struck, like it was the first time he'd ever seen me, like he would have that look on his face for the next 100 years. His smile beamed across his face triumphantly.
"And who gives this young woman away" the reverend asked routinely
"Her mother and I do" my father said as he placed my hand into Jacobs. He turned to me and exhaled softly. He kissed my forehead then sat down next to my mother.
Everyone was beginning to take there seats, sounds of chairs moving and sand sloshing and people getting comfortable before the reverend began.
"I don't know what to say Ness…you're the prettiest thing I've ever seen" Jacob whispered.
I smiled "You don't look too bad yourself" I whispered back.
"No shoes…?" he smirked. Before I could answer the reverend began to speak.
As he spoke Jacob and I just stared at each other. In his eyes I saw so many possibilities. I saw our home together, I saw us walking on the beach holding hands under the stars. I saw us making love for the first time, making love for the rest of our lives, I saw our children, beautiful dark haired children with my big brown eyes playing outside and loving life to the fullest.
"Jacob you have prepared something" the reverend asked. Jacob and I discussed that we would do traditional vows for our wedding. The look of confusion reigned across my face.
Jacob almost looked nervous as he pulled a folded piece of paper from his pant pocket.
"Yes" he nodded.
"Ness" he exhaled, I could see that his hands were shaking but only slightly. "I know we said we wouldn't write our own vows but I have something that I wanted to say…something that I wanted to promise you."
He looked at the paper then shook his head; he put the paper back in his pocket.
"Ok, I just want you to know that every second of everyday I think about you and only you. You have complete ownership of my heart and it will stay that way forever. I can honestly say that I am a better person because of you Nessie. We have been through a lot and each obstacle has only brought us closer together. I promise…no I swear to you that I will always be there for you for anything. I will be the best husband to the best of my abilities and I will never let you down. You're my best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life" He took his thumb and wiped a tear that escaped from my eyes.
"Ok, do you Jacob take…?"
"Wait" I interrupted "I want to say something" my voice was low.
"Ok you can begin when ever you like" the reverend prompted.
I inhaled. I had no clue what I would say but I needed to say something. I decided that I would just tell him what I was thinking when I woke up in my own bed that morning after they won against Serina. I would tell him exactly what was on my mind the second I saw his face next to me that day.
"Jake" I paused, it felt as if all eyes were on me-which they were- but it felt like my silence was longer than it should have been.
"Ah…you know how these flowers, those tree's, this sand" I lifted my foot slightly; I could hear slight giggles from the crowd. They were also probably wondering where I was going with this and why I didn't have shoes on. "…they all need something to grow or to expand…they need certain things to survive" I continued.
"They all depend on water and sunlight to live another day" I paused again "Well, Jake that's what you are to me. I need you to survive; I need you in order to see another day. Jacob Black you are my sunlight you are my sun. Without you everything is dimmed, I cannot be me if there is no you. I…" I began to cry I knew my make up was completely ruined but I couldn't focus on that now "…I love you so much Jake. We are literally two halves of a whole" there was no stopping my tears.
"Do we have the rings?" the reverend asked. Jacob and I didn't have groomsmen or brides maids. We pulled out our rings and placed them on each others fingers.
The reverend finally said the words I'd been waiting to hear. I would get to say the two most important words I would probably ever say.
"Do you Jacob take Renesmee to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
Jacob smiled "I do"
"And do you Renesmee take Jacob to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do" I said a little too fast, I was slightly embarrassed at my hastiness.
"I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black…you may kiss the bride"
And now it was concrete; I was Jacob's and he was mine. In his vows he said that I had complete ownership of his heart, I hope he knew that he had complete possession and ownership of mine.
It was finally official I was Mrs. Renesmee Black and my husband was leaning in to finally seal our destiny with a kiss.