There's nothing special about who I am.

I gave up everything for him.

When I found out about my bisexuality, I told Tasha. She deserved to know.

They were right…they were all right.

There was something wrong with her.

Homophobic Bible Thumper.

Not to get anyone wrong, I am religious and all, but there's a difference between religion and justified hate.

He was there to comfort me.

He told me that he was bisexual, too.

It made me feel better.

We started to hang out more because of our secret.

Then, I came out.

Nothing really changed.

This was Seattle in the 21st century.

No one really cared or treated me different.

Not even Mom.

I wanted him to come out, too, but he refused.

He said that there was no way in hell that he would embarrass himself like that.

I understood.

I dropped it.

Graduation came and past.

Him, her, and I went to the same college.

He and her started going out.

I was a tad jealous.

Of her.

Then one night, he had a fight with her.

He came to my apartment.

Do you expect to hear some poor story about how he cheated on her with me?

Well, that's what happened, but it wasn't poor.

I took advantage of him in his state.

It was a devious thing.

I wasn't a devious person.

I thought that it was something to cherish, something that wouldn't happen again.

He wasn't interested in that.

Turns out…that I was what he was interested in.

His secret lust.

It would have been mocked if made public.

He was sweet. He was romantic. He sent flowers and cards and chocolates.

So many chocolates.

But he was still with her.

He told me that she meant nothing.

He was just interested in her money.

She was going to be a big time actress.

She already got a part in a movie.

That dream shriveled up and died.

He became a big CEO of this company.

Something about electronic trade. I never really paid attention to things like that.

He was stationed in Hong Kong.

She didn't want to go, but she gave in.

They married.

I was so angry.

So hurt.

He sent me on a separate plane to their honeymoon in Hawaii.

He paid for a hotel room next to their room.

He made sure I was always out of sight.

Did it bother me?

Sort of.

I felt bad for her.

But I loved him more.

He was romantic with me, he bought me everything I ever wanted, and he was interested in me.

He never said, "I love you"

Everything but.

But I was satisfied.

He bought me an apartment in Hong Kong.

I didn't want to go.

I wasn't furniture.

We had one of our biggest fights.

He hit me.

He said that I should be lucky that someone like him was interested in someone like me.

I tried to make him leave.

He told me I was sorry. He told me that he wouldn't do it again.

I have no time for that bullshit.

We didn't speak for several months.

Then one day, a vase of roses appeared on my doorstep.

I read the card.

I love you.

By day's end, I'm in ecstasy.

By week's end, I'm in Hong Kong.

By fortnight's end, he tells me he plans to leave her.

By month's end, she's pregnant.

He told me that he wanted to be a father for his child since his own father left.

I understood.

I was happy.

I was happy being his concubine.

I always loved that word.

Concubine.

It rolls off the tongue.

She found out who I was.

She didn't care.

She thought he loved her.

She thought that all I am was a vice.

If she doesn't know where he is, she calls me.

Like I'm his babysitter.

I'm not.

Concubine.


I yawned as I rolled out of bed. I went into the kitchen to fix my coffee and I saw him already at the counter. He was nursing a small cup.

I went up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He smiled as he turned to give me a kiss.

I heard his phone vibrate.

He reached into his suit pocket. He answered it, "Hello, Carly….Yes, I'm at the office right now….Tell Susie that her daddy will be at her ballet recital…Okay….Love you, too."

He sighed as he put his phone up, "Tell me that you're ready for another round…"

I smiled at him, coy, "Of course…."

He put the coffee mug on the counter. I went to make my own coffee.

But he was already dragging me to the bedroom before I could reach for the cabinet.

We all have our sins.

We all have our vices.

If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else.

By the time I woke up, he was gone.

A rose and a letter took his place on the bed.

Thanks for the wonderful weekend.

Love,

Freddie