"Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, this cannot be happening to me."
I paced back and forth in the small bathroom, in the apartment I have shared with my boyfriend for the past two years. My face was almost as red as my hair and my hands were shaking. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. I was officially freaking out.
"I can't do this. I won't do this," I said as I slowly sank to the floor beside the bath tub.
Why- might you ask, am I freaking out in the bathroom as my boyfriend and his pixie best friend from hel,l laughed hysterically in the living room? Well, that my friends is a story that goes back almost three years, to the day I met the sexiest guy to ever walk the earth. My boyfriend Jasper.
Three years ago:
"Last call for flight 119 to Houston"
I was running late of course and had to run to the boarding gate to catch my flight. Emmett, My hair brained brother made me go to the bar with him the night before to meet his new girlfriend, Rosalie. We drank and ate and of course I woke up late with a major hangover, and only had minutes to grab my luggage and drive like a mad man to the airport. I was flying to Houston for a medical conference teaching a new medical technique that would be used to treat kids with Cancer.
I am the chief medical resident at Seattle Children's Hospital. I spent most of my days treating kids who were fighting for their lives. The only bad part of my job was telling parents that their kids wouldn't make it out of the hospital. Cancer research has come a long way in the last few decades and even though there was no cure, we had made huge steps in stopping the Cancer from progressing. Unfortunately, there are cases when the Cancer was not caught soon enough, and the only thing we could do was make the child comfortable, and comfort the grieving parents as they watched their child slowly deteriorate until they finally passed away.
I was taught very early on in medical school to never get emotionally attached to patients. I was taught to hold my emotions in check and treat the illness and then move on. None of that training however prepared me to work in a Cancer Hospital. I was good at my job. People respected me and often sought me out for my opinion on harder cases. I was known for going the extra mile and getting to know the children in my care. I didn't care that my training had taught me to be all business and unemotional. When a parent brought there child to me I always made it my duty to make that little girl or boy smile. Having said that, that didn't stop me from finding a quiet space in the huge labyrinth of a hospital and breaking down once in a while.
Nothing in all my years of training prepared me for the grief. When I had to look into a parents eyes and tell them that their child would die, it broke my heart every single time. I of course had to stay strong for the parents and the sad eyes of the child. This trip was something I was excited about. This new technique was suppose to increase the survival rate for children with Cancer.
The glare of the man at the gate told me that I had just made my flight. As I walked down the isle looking for my seat, people were still milling around trying to fit their carry on bags into the shelf above the seats. Thankfully when I found my row it was still empty. I was glad because I had a window seat and I didn't feel like crawling over people. I dropped into my seat and let out a deep sigh. My heart was still racing from the sprint from the car park and I needed to relax. I slid my bag with my laptop to the floor beside my leg and laid my head back closing my eyes. My head was pounding and I was hoping to get some sleep during the flight.
"Ladies and gentleman please take your seats and buckle your seat belts, we are about to take off"
I kept my eyes closed when I felt someone sit down next to me. I hoped that the person would leave me alone so I could catch some sleep. When I heard whispering and a girl giggling I rolled my eyes behind my eye lids. It sounded like I was going to be sitting with kids. Just fucking great. Don't get my wrong, I loved kids obviously doing what I do, but with a pounding head I just wasn't in the mood. I pretended to sleep as the plane rolled down the runway and lifted into the air.
Just as I was about to doze off I heard his voice...
"Shut up, Alice, can't you see he is sleeping."
The man's voice was low and smooth. It peaked my interest, but I refused to open my eyes. I was interested to hear what this "Alice" had to say.
"But Jazzy, look at him. He's beautiful, please tell me I can keep him."
I resisted the urge to burst out laughing. She of course had no clue that I preferred the company of a man. This flight was going to be interesting. The conversation when quiet and I eventually drifted off to sleep. I don't know how long I slept when I was suddenly jostled awake when we hit some turbulence. My eyes flew open and my hands intently grabbed the arm wrests. I hated this part of flying. My head was still pounding and now my heart was racing again.
"Hey man, are you alright? It was just a little turbulence," He touched my arm.
I turned my head to the left and our eyes met.
He was...He was fucking beautiful. I was instantly lost in the blue of his eyes. He looked like a much younger version of Matthew Mcconaughey. He had blond curls around his face and a lazy crooked smile. This was one of those moments you only see in movies, where you accidentally touch or run into someone and suddenly your life with them flashes before your eyes. I saw us kissing, I saw him laying below me as we had rough sweaty sex, I saw him sitting at the dinner table with my parents on a warm sunny Sunday afternoon. This was a life changing moment in my life and I didn't even know his name.
My eyes refused to leave his no matter how hard I tried. When his face came into focus again he wasn't smiling anymore, he looked as scared as I was. Did he feel it too? Did he have the same life changing epiphany I had? I opened my mouth to speak, but suddenly a small woman sat down next to him, and our connection was broken. His head whirled around to look at the woman, who I assumed wa,s Alice. His face turned back around to me and it seemed like he was at a loss for words.
"Jazz? Whats wrong?" Alice asked. He didn't speak though. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to breathe. It was no use though, with him sitting next to me I had no chance of calming myself down, and that was when I noticed that I was painfully hard.
Oh god don't do this to me.
I hadn't had a relationship in almost a year. I worked so much I didn't have time to be with anyone. I wasn't the type to go out to a club and have casual sex.
"Um...excuse me c..could you let me out please" I asked the man. I needed to get out of this seat right this minute, or I was going to crawl in his lap and take him right here on this airplane. I'm sure the airline would frown on that.
"Sure," Alice, said very sweetly. "Move Jazzy, don't just sit there."
With a dumbstruck expression, Jazz, as, Alice, kept calling him, stood up and slid out of the isle. I almost ran out of my seat to the nearest bathroom and locked myself inside. With the door closed, I leaned my forehead against it and tried to calm my breathing.
What the fuck just happened?
I came out to my parents in high school and had gotten my first boyfriend. They were wonderful to me and showered me with support. Jacob, and I were together from my senior year in high school until I left for medical school. I was heart broken when he broke up with me. The day after we graduated he took me out on a date. We had had many dates mind you through high school. I was totally head over heels in love with him. We had decided to wait to have sex until we both graduated and that night he made love to me. It was slow and sweet and amazing. When he drove me back to my house he told me he loved me and he always would. I cried when he told me that we needed to break up.
I begged and pleaded, and sobbed into his chest for hours. He told me that I was going off to medical school and that I needed to focus. He was a mechanic at his dad's shop and he planned on staying in Washington. He said he didn't want to hold me back. When I finally stopped crying he kissed me and told me he loved me one more time. Before I got out of the car I promised that I would come back. I cried for a week before leaving for medical school in New York.
I had a few casual boyfriends in New York, but none of them were, Jake. Eventually I stopped dating altogether and focused on my career. I told myself that I had had my shot at love and that was it for me. I was so deeply in love with, Jake, that I promised myself I would never get in that deep again. Turning my body, I slid to the floor in the small airplane bathroom. Tears seeped from the corners of my eyes as I wept. I was confused, and angry that this man...this beautiful stranger could make me feel this way again.
Two light taps on the door made me jump. My surroundings came into focus again. Only I would have a life changing break down in the bathroom of an airplane. "Occupied," I said with a quivering voice and then I laid my head on my knees. I didn't want to be on this plane anymore. I wanted to be home in bed, or at the hospital playing catch with one of my kids. I wasn't strong enough to handle what was happening on this plane.
"Please let me in," A smooth voice said though the door.
Oh god, it's him. What do I do?
Without thinking I stood and opened the door. His eyebrows furrowed as he saw my face. I stepped back as much as I could in the tiny bathroom and he stepped inside with me. We stood face to face staring at each other. The emotion in his eyes made another tear slip from my eye. I gasped when he stepped forward and with his thumb wiped the tear away.
"What's your name darlin?"
"Edward," I whispered, looking at the floor.
"Edward, please look at me."
My eyes were swimming with tears as they looked into his. My heart was thundering so loud in my chest I was sure he could hear it. My body started to shake as he stepped forward again, his body was flush with mine.
"Edward, my name is, Jasper," His hand came up to caress the side of my face and my eyes closed.
"Edward," he whispered, "Would you please allow me to kiss you? I need to know if what I felt out there was real."
He felt it too. I nodded.
When his lips touched mine, that feeling hit me again tenfold. My eyes closed and I saw us walking along the shore line holding hands, I saw us moving into an apartment, I saw us making love on the floor in front of the fireplace. I saw him place a ring on my... I gasped and pulled away from his lips. His eyes flew open to look in mine. He felt it too. My breathe hitched as tears sprung to my eyes again.
I didn't know what to do. I had seen many terrifying things in my life. During my early years in the hospital I worked in the ER. I saw many, many gun shot wounds, and stab wounds. I saw rape victims, and broken limbs. All things that would scare a young doctor. None of those things scared me as bad as what happened on that airplane.
Jasper, was so sweet and gentle with me as he led me back to my seat. We talked through the rest of the flight and got to know each other. Jasper, was a musician. He made a living playing in clubs and writing songs that he sold to producers for music artists. Alice, was his best friend and agent. They both lived in Seattle and were flying to Houston to visit his parents. As we all left the airplane, Jasper, gave me his number and told me he wanted to see me while we were here Houston. With a hug from both, Jasper, and, Alice, I left for my Hotel.
I didn't call, Jasper, while I was is Houston. I was terrified. I was only there for a week, but on the third day I finally broke down and called my mother. I told her about the epiphany minus the rough sweaty sex part. I told her how scared I was and how sweet, Jasper, was as he kissed me. She of course was ecstatic and couldn't wait to get off the phone to call my father. When I got off the phone I was frustrated because she had been no help at all. I needed a sister to talk about this stuff with. Emmett, was my brother, but I knew if I told him about my life changing flight he would just make fun of me.
Like the coward I was, I took the 5:30 am flight home on Friday morning. I knew, Alice, and Jasper, were going home on Friday too, I just wasn't ready to deal with everything yet. When I got home I drove home and crawled in bed. I was jet lagged and tired of thinking so hard about, Jasper. I fell asleep and tried to forget the beautiful man I met on the airplane.
Two weeks later I was in the middle of a huge mound of paper work when I was paged to the front desk. With a deep sigh I left my office and trudged to the front desk. I hadn't slept well since getting home from Houston and it was leaving me drained at work. I thought about, Jasper, every single day, but couldn't convince my self to call him. I was a doctor and I didn't have time to be in a relationship, and plus I will still terrified about the instant connection we had. I was a coward and I knew it.
"Hi, Angela," I greeted the receptionist. "Did you page me?"
Angela, greeted me with a smile.
"Hi, Dr. Cullen, yes I did. There is someone in the waiting room who said they need a moment to speak with you"
That's strange. "Thanks Angela." I said as I walked toward the waiting area. What I saw in the waiting room was a truly terrifying sight. Little pixie sized, Alice, stood there in the middle of the waiting area full of people, with her arms folded over her chest. When she spotted me her eyes blazed with fury. She was angry and looking for my blood. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she got a word out I raised my hand to stop her. I didn't need a room full of patients hearing the chief resident being cussed out by a 4 foot nothing woman on a mission. I knew I deserved it, but I wanted to wait till we got to my office.
"Alice, please fallow me to my office."
An hour later I felt sick. After calling me every name in the book, Alice, finally calmed down and took a seat. She told me that, Jasper, moped around his parents house the whole time he was in Houston waiting for my call that never came. She said he looked for me on the flight home that I wasn't on, because I was a coward and took an earlier flight. She told me that since being home, Jasper, has refused to leave his apartment or even touch his guitar. He had lost weight and was now refusing to eat. I knew if I wasn't a doctor with dying kids counting on me, I would be in the same position that Jasper was in. I hadn't slept well in I don't know how long and I hardly ate anything these days. I went home feeling horrible every night.
"Edward, you have to go see him. I saw your face on that airplane, I know you felt the same connection, Jasper felt. Stop being a coward or so help me I will come back here and rip your balls off."
Alice, was a little tiny woman, but she knew how to put fear in a man.
"Alright, alright Alice, tell me what to do."
Two hours later my shift was over and, Alice, made me fallow her to, Jasper's, apartment. She used her key to let us in and took me through his dark apartment to his bedroom. Jasper, lay on his bed on top of his blanket, on his stomach, sleeping. Gone, was the beautiful man I saw on the airplane. His skin was pale and his blond hair was a mess. He looked worse than some of my Cancer patients. I wanted to cry.
"Look at him, Edward," Alice, whispered.
I couldn't speak. I walked to the side of the bed and lay down next to him. He didn't wake until I pushed some of his curls off his forehead. His eyes fluttered open and his blue eyes focused on me. He gave me a sad smile and scooted his body over and buried his head in my chest. And that was how we fell asleep. I was still in my scrubs and his head was on my chest. It was the best night's sleep I have ever had.
Jasper, and I were inseparable after that day. I decided to stop being a coward and explore this connection that we had.
A year later, Jasper, and I moved in together. My parents loved, Jasper, as much as I did. Of course, Alice, was along for the ride. After all, she was the one who finally convinced me to pull my head out of my ass. We had many dates and romantic nights, many interrupted nights when I was called into the hospital and some fights. Jasper, had become someone that I couldn't picture my life without.
So this brings us back to me, still sitting on the floor in the bathroom of the apartment I share with, Jasper. Alice, had quickly became one of my best friends. She always hung out with me and, Jasper, and watched movies or ate dinner with us. Tonight though, Alice, came over with a deck of cards and a mischievous smile. Jasper, was always up for adventure and I was the conservative one. Alice, informed me that she wanted to make a bet with me.
"Okay, Edward," She said after, Jasper, had gotten everyone a beer and we settled around the coffee table.
"I want to make a bet with you. Only you."
Her smile was making me nervous. When I looked over to, Jasper, he just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
"What kind of bet, Alice?" My voice must have sounded scared because, Jasper, leaned into me and kissed the side of my neck.
"That's easy. I want to play one hand of poker with you. The best hand wins the bet and the loser must do what the other one wants...no limitations."
No limitations? That cant be good.
"The bet is limitless Edward. If you wanted me to fly to Rome and spit on the pope, I would do it."
I looked over to, Jasper, who sat there watching us looking amused. I wondered if he knew what she was up to. Alice, sat there looking sweet and innocent. I knew if I lost the bet she was going to make me do something really embarrassing, I just wondered how bad it would be. I knew she couldn't make me leave the country or get arrested because I was a doctor. However, if I won the bet, I could make her do whatever I wanted. That could be interesting.
"Let's do this," I said, sitting up straight.
Alice's, smile stretched across her face and she shuffled the cards.
"Okay, the terms of the bet won't be known until after the hand."
Alice, gave each of us five cards. I picked up my hand and sat back so, Jasper, could see them with me.
Jack, Ten, nine, eight, six. I threw the six on the table face down. "One card please," Alice, gave me one card and took three for herself. My card was another Jack. I didn't make my straight but I did make a high pair. I hoped that it would be good enough to beat, Alice.
"Alright, let's see what you have," Alice, said holding her hand against her chest. Her face was blank so I didn't know if her hand was good or not.
"I have two Jacks," Jasper, and I both looked at, Alice, as she laid her hand out on the table without saying a word.
King, king, king, four, four. Fuck.
Now, even though I was a little mad that her hand was better than mine, I wasn't too worried because I knew she wouldn't do anything to damage my career. With a sigh I leaned back against, Jasper's, chest.
"Alright Alice, what do I have to do?"
Alice, smiled and sat back in her chair. She took a long drink of her beer and just sat there looking at me for a long moment. When she sat back up her face became very serious. My heart started to race a little. This was so not good.
"You both know I'm a little crazy."
Jasper, and I both chuckled. Alice, was the craziest person I knew. There was no limit to the things she would do. Jasper, and I took her to the bar one night about a year ago. When some big biker guy started saying nasty things about us kissing, Little, Alice, marched right up to him and started poking him in the chest. She yelled and screamed and when she was done he fled the bar.
"I want to watch you two have sex."
"WHAT?" Both, Jasper, and I yelled at the same time.
"I won the bet, and what I want is watch you two have sex."
She can't be serious. She was serious though. She wasn't smiling or joking.
I looked over to, Jasper, who sat there with his mouth hanging open, and then back to, Alice, who was watching me with her eyebrow raised.
And that my friends is why I locked myself in the bathroom. I jumped off the couch and bolted to the bedroom and into the bathroom, as, Jasper, and, Alice, burst out laughing. They both knew I was the shy one of the group. Jasper, and I kissed and held hands in public, but anything sexual was kept for the privacy of our home.
I jumped when I heard Jasper outside the bathroom door. I stayed quiet though. There was no way I was going to open that door and have sex in front of, Alice. She was fucking crazy.
"Edward, I love you. Please open the door?"
Oh god. His voice drives me crazy. I was tempted to open the door, but when I heard a small girly giggle, that temptation went out the window. She had this planned all along I bet. I knew Jasper had no idea seeing as he was as shocked as I was when it came out of her mouth.
A few minutes later I could hear, Jasper, and Alice, talking...it almost sounded like they were arguing. I heard stomping and then the front door to our apartment slammed shut.
"Baby, can you open the door now? I made, Alice, leave."
Slowly I stood up and opened the door. I found Jasper, standing there with his arms open for me. Walking forward into his arms I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. I was always so easily embarrassed and Jasper was always there to calm me down.
"Baby, I am so sorry about Alice, but you are adorable when your embarrassed," Jasper, chuckled.
I gently pushed him away and shook my head. "I cannot believe she actually thought I would agree to that." He chuckled and walked over to the bed sitting with his back to the headboard. "You know Alice. She thinks your hot. She has wanted to see you naked since we first met you on the airplane."
I shuttered at that thought, and then noticed the way, Jasper, was looking at me. I saw lust in his eyes. I had gotten off work at 7 in the evening and never changed clothes before, Alice, came over. I knew that Jasper, found my scrubs sexy. Many nights after work I wouldn't make it two steps in the door before, Jasper, would push me against the door, and kiss me until I almost passed out. He sat there in his Van Halen t shirt and pajama pants, with his feet crossed at the ankles just staring me up and down.
It was too bad, Alice, had left, because I was about to give, Jasper, a show. Very slowly, I walked over to our dresser. I pulled the top drawer open and took out a condom and lube. Smiling, I looked over my shoulder at, Jasper. He was watching my every move and his chest was rising and falling a little faster than before. I walked over to the end of the bed and set the condom and lube down. Looking in, Jasper's, lust filled eyes I slowly pulled my scrub pants down and kicked them away. Leaving my shirt on I took the condom and lube with me as I crawled on the bed and straddled his lap.
"I feel like going for a ride cowboy," Jasper's, eyes darkened a tiny bit more as I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. My hands slid into his soft curls and gently messaged his scalp as I tilted my head and deepened the kiss. Jasper's, hands ghosted around to my back and slid lower until he grabbed a hold of my ass. I moaned into his mouth and pulled my lips away to kiss down the side of his neck.
"Those fucking scrubs of yours drive me crazy..." I chuckled and nipped at his ear and then licked a trail down to his Adams apple. Jasper, groaned when I sucked his Adams apple into my mouth and then continued kissing up the other side of his neck. I felt Jasper's, lubed finger gently start to press on my entrance. I sank my teeth into the side of his neck when the tip of his finger pressed inside me.
When, Jasper, added a second finger I sucked the skin of his neck into my mouth. Jasper, hissed in pain and pleasure and his fingers started sliding faster and deeper inside me. "Oh fuck," I almost screamed when he curled his fingers and found my sweet spot. I bucked my hips so he would hit that spot again, and then my eyes rolled back in my head when he started hitting it repeatedly.
"You like that baby?" he asked with a husky voice.
"Fuck yes," I needed him now. Scooting back so I was sitting on his knees, I grabbed the condom and ripped it open with my teeth. Jasper's, head flew back and he moaned, when I pulled the front of his pants down just enough so I could wrap my hand around his hard erection. I pumped him a few times and then slid the condom over his rock hard cock.
"Help me take my pants off baby," Jasper moaned as he sat up a little. We were both panting and hard, and I didn't want to wait. I wanted him right fucking now. "No, leave them on, I need you now." Quickly I walked forward on my knees and positioned myself over Jasper's cock. I crushed my lips to his and sank down on his cock at the same time. We both moaned into the kiss. Jasper's, hands went to my hips as I started riding him hard and fast.
When I needed to breathe I pulled my lips from his, and his lips immediately went to my neck. My hands slid into his hair as he started sucking gently on the side of my neck. He wouldn't leave a mark on me like I had done to him because of my job, but when his lips gently sucked at the base of my throat I cried out and slammed down hard on his cock. He knew that spot would drive me nuts. Jasper, whimpered desperately and sucked a little harder when I started moving my hips in circles. He was as close as I was.
I put both hands on the sides of his face and pulled his lips from my neck so he would look at me. I wanted to see his face as we fell apart together. "I fucking love you Jasper. Come for me baby," I kept thrusting down on his cock, dangerously close to coming. I just needed him to come first. Suddenly, Jasper's, eyes rolled back in his head and his hands gripped my hips almost painfully. His scream was only muffled as I attached my lips to his and we both cried out together as we fell over the edge.
When our cries subsided and, Jasper's, body went limp, I collapsed onto his chest and buried my face in his neck. His arms went around my back and held me as our bodies still trembled from aftershocks. Nothing was said as we waited for our breathing to even out. My bones felt like Jelly and with, Jasper, still inside me, I felt like I could fall asleep right where I was.
"I love you," I eventually mumbled into his neck.
"I love you, too, baby," and then he chuckled. "That was fuckin hot."
"Hell yea it was..."
We both froze, because neither of us had said that. Both of or heads whipped around to look for the voice.
A very flushed looking, Alice, stood in the doorway to our bedroom. Mortified, I buried my head in, Jasper's, neck and tried to hide.
"Alice, get the fuck out of here," Jasper, yelled, pulling the blanket up over my body trying to hide me.
With a giggle, Alice, turned and left our apartment.
The next day I made Jasper change the locks.