Warnings: Slash, sex, language, not-very-nice Morgan, hurt-comforted Reid
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one from "Criminal Minds" and no money is made from this, it is just for fun.
Author's Note: Just my musings on what might have happened when Morgan and Reid first met. Please review...
When Derek Morgan met Spencer Reid, he hated him immediately.
Well--'hate' was a bit strong, but 'dislike' didn't quite capture what he was feeling, either. It went much, much deeper than that. It was something visceral--an instinctive urge to head in the other direction, the need to absent himself from the kid's presence, a kind of bone-deep rejection of his very existence. Almost a fight or flight response.
He didn't understand it, but he couldn't get around it.
"I can't believe Hotch brought that smart-ass little geek on board!" he'd complained to Gideon. The older man had pursed his lips in an indulgent smile and said, "Give him a chance. He's going to be a real asset to the team one day."
Morgan had raised an eyebrow and dropped the subject. Everyone else had seemed willing to give the kid the benefit of the doubt, so he'd tried to do so as well. But, he had never met anyone who grated on his nerves so quickly--and so completely--before in his life.
"Excuse me, Morgan?" Just the way Reid talked made Morgan grit his teeth.
"Do you know if there are any more green file folders around here anywhere?"
Morgan had raised his eyes in disbelief. They had an unsub running around carving up women with a razor blade and the kid was worried about green file folders.
"Did you look in the supply room?" Morgan measured out each word as though it were spun gold.
"Of course, that was the first place I looked. There's only orange and purple."
"Can't you use orange or purple?"
Reid had looked at him as if he had suggested using leeches to treat a brain tumor.
"No, that won't work at all. I use green for case file notes. I wouldn't want to confuse them with actual case files." He had a slightly pitying tone in his voice.
"Maybe you could take a plain one and color it. With a crayon." Derek's irritation would have been palpable to any normal soul.
Reid had laughed. "Now, that would be a colossal waste of time! It's ok, Morgan, I'll go ask Garcia. She understands about systems." With a condescending grin, Reid had turned and ambled away, leaving Morgan hopelessly grasping for the thread of thought that had seemed so clear just moments before.
Morgan might have learned to accept the boy, might have developed an appreciation for his brilliance, his agile mind, his ability to put connections together seemingly out of thin air. He might have gotten used to Reid's odd quirks and eventually come to find them endearing. He might even have ended up liking the kid for his sincerity, his commitment, and his good heart.
But, Hotch managed to kill off any such developments.
"Morgan, I want you to take Dr. Reid under your wing."
"'Doctor.' Hotch, why do you insist on calling him that, he's barely old enough to tie his own shoes--"
"He's earned the title and deserves your respect. Now, as I was saying, I want you to act as his mentor--"
"Oh, my God."
"He needs help, Morgan. Work with him on self-defense techniques, marksmanship, the physical aspects of the job. In return, talk with him. I think you'll find he has some useful insights."
Morgan had been too disturbed by the whole situation to protest, and had simply walked out of Hotch's office in disgust.
The kid might have been a genius, but common sense often seemed lost on him. Now that he was inexplicably Morgan's responsibility, and thus a reflection of his own competency, what might have once been a series of mild annoyances had grown into one long bullet train of deeply-felt resentment.
The very sight of the awkward gait, the granddad's-closet clothing, the lank hair, the coke-bottle glasses, all seemed perfectly orchestrated to offend Morgan's every sensibility. It was as if the kid thought he was so smart that he didn't have to make any effort whatsoever to fit into the fabric of society, as if he was so much better than everyone else that little things like hair gel and contact lenses and matching socks were beneath him.
And, worst of all was that the damn brat liked him. A lot. Too much. After only a few days of working with him on the gun range and in the gym, Reid began to regard Morgan with a worshipful expression. It didn't take a genius to notice that the kid had begun to find excuses to have Morgan touch him, and to touch Morgan--occurrences that made Morgan's flesh crawl.
At the end of each day, he felt as if he were unwinding an octopus from around his neck. So, when the kid had the damned gall to say "Hey, Morgan--what are you doing tonight?" in that hopeful tone, with that puppy-dog demeanor, it was no wonder that Morgan had growled, "I'm busy," and headed in the other direction like a shot.
But, the kid didn't take the hint. Next day, he came back for more.
"Morgan? Are you hungry? I was thinking--"
"Uh, Morgan? There's a show at the downtown gallery, and I thought maybe--"
"Hey, Morgan! Wait up! Are you going straight home? Because I--"
He was apparently blessed with an unending supply of ideas and suggestions that would throw the two of them into an entire evening of each other's company, and Morgan was forced to stay on his toes, to deftly deflect each one as it came up, like a star fighter on a moon mission.
Until the day he got tripped up--by a honey-coated female voice.
"Derek Morgan, my magnificent chocolate deity--what are you doing tonight?"
Garcia helped herself to a seat at the desk next to his. Morgan grinned.
"Not a thing, baby girl. What'd you have in mind?"
"That new action thriller came out today, and I just love the guy who plays the Russian spy. A couple of us are going, and I thought you might want to join us."
Morgan shrugged. It had been a long time since he'd been to the movies with the girls. They were always so much fun. "Sure, gorgeous, I'll go. Right after work?"
"Yep! We'll meet you by the parking garage."
But, when Derek met "them" downstairs at the entrance to the parking garage, he saw only Reid.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Oh, uh, Penelope and I were going to a movie, but she got a headache. She said you were going too, though, so I thought--"
"Oh, no. Oh, hell, no. I'm going home."
The expression on the kid's face was pitiful. He dropped his eyes to the ground and nodded. "Oh. Ok. I was really looking forward to seeing it, but--oh, well."
Derek almost felt bad, but he strode past the boy anyway.
He stopped with his hand on the door. "What?"
"Do you think you could give me a ride home? I just missed one bus, and the next one won't come for almost an hour. Would you mind?"
There really was no way around it. Morgan ran his tongue over his lips and said, "Not at all. Come on."
He could actually feel Reid's mood lighten as he followed him to his car.
When they pulled up in front of Reid's building, Morgan sat waiting for the kid to get out, but he just sat there. Morgan frowned and took a look at him. Damn kid. He noticed that his hair had grown longer, it now fell softly around his face and a thatch of curls rested on his neck. He was wearing contacts, which revealed just how large and clear and dark his eyes really were.
And his mouth... It had always been a special point of annoyance for Morgan that the kid had such a sensuous mouth. Men shouldn't have mouths like that, full lips, beautiful teeth, and an amazing grin that hit you right in the crotch. He wasn't smiling now, was instead sucking in his lower lip as if mulling over a particularly tricky quadratic equation. Morgan wondered what he was about to pull.
"Um... You want to come upstairs?" Reid suddenly asked, his voice a little higher and squeakier than normal.
"I have... beer. And... chips? And, uh, we could watch, I don't know, something, on TV. Or... Oh, I have some movies--you might like some of them, you could come up and take a look--"
"Reid, you're babbling."
"Oh, yeah, sorry. Anyway, uh, do you want to? Come up, I mean."
"No. I have a dog to feed. I'll see you tomorrow."
Reid looked crestfallen, but didn't move. Morgan could almost see the gears turning in his head. "Just for a little while? Just one beer--it wouldn't take that long."
"Why the hell do you want me to come up so badly?"
"I don't know--it's just that we spend a lot of time together at work, a whole lot of time, and yet I hardly know anything about you. Just seems like we should try to get to know each other a little better--personally, you know? Might make us a better team--"
"I know everything I need to know about you, Reid. Good night."
"Go home, Reid."
Reid gave him one last longing look, then reluctantly opened the door and swung first one leg, then the other, over to the side. Morgan watched the tall skinny kid attempt to fold himself up enough to get through the door without bumping his head, then found himself saying, "Hold on a minute." Reid turned back, and peered questioningly at him.
Morgan rubbed his chin for a moment before speaking. "What exactly did you think was going to happen between us, if I went up there with you?"
"Don't fuck with me, Reid. Tell me the truth. Let's say I were to go up--have a beer, watch some television. What do you think would happen, hmm? Tell me, I want to know."
Reid turned red and he dropped his eyes to the floor. He flexed his fingers nervously, then cast a small glance at Morgan before speaking.
"Oh... I, uh, thought, maybe... I guess I hoped that maybe we could, you know--kiss, or something." The words obviously were being torn out of his soul and Morgan could see the kid was braced for a harsh reaction.
Reid nodded without looking at him.
Morgan's voice dropped to a lower register and he bit off each word. "Let me tell you something, Reid, if I go up there with you, there will be no goddamn kissing."
Now, Reid did look at him, shame-faced. "I'm sorry, Morgan--I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to--"
"If I go up there, pretty boy, it'll be for a good, old-fashioned, down-and-dirty fuck, nothing else. No kissing, no sweet talk, no lovey-dovey crap--nothing romantic about it. Just my dick, your ass. You get what I'm saying?"
Reid's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. He nodded slowly. Morgan continued.
"When I'm done, I'll zip up my pants, walk out the door and go home, and I better not hear any goddamn sissy whining about me leaving and why don't I spend the night or any of that kind of bullshit. Understand?"
Spencer nodded again, more certainly this time, and he smiled a little. "Y-yes. I understand."
"Now, is that really what you want? Because, if you say yes, you better be sure, and I mean damn sure. Because I guarantee you, that's all you're going to get from me."
"That is what I want. I just never thought--"
Morgan huffed in frustration. "Shut up. Let's go if we're going."
"Ok." Suddenly happy, Spencer squirmed out of the car and bounded up the stairs, leading Morgan to his door. He was so excited that he fumbled his keys and dropped them. He knelt to pick them up and for a moment, was eye-level with Morgan's swelling crotch. He looked up and saw the lust in Morgan's eyes and suddenly his hands were shaking as he opened the door.
Morgan strode in and glanced around the place. It was cluttered, but clean and he nodded his approval. "Nice place."
"Oh--thanks. You sure you don't want a, uh, beer, or something?"
Morgan gave a lascivious grin. "Getting cold feet?"
"N-no, I just thought--I thought maybe--"
"Come on, get your ass in the bedroom. I don't have all night."
Reid bit his lip and nodded, then led the way to his bedroom. He opened the door for Morgan and turned on a lamp. Morgan surveyed the room. Unlike the living area, this was sparse, almost monk-like. He glanced back at Reid, who stood nervously by the bed, and began unbuttoning his shirt.
"Clothes off. Now," he directed.
Reid stood stock-still for a moment, then began unbuttoning his own shirt.
Morgan stripped down to his shorts and opened Reid's nightstand drawer. There was nothing in it but some memo pads, pens and a few coins and buttons.
"You got any condoms? Lube?"
Reid shook his head.
Morgan rolled his eyes, and dug for his wallet in his pants pocket, and fished out his "emergency" condom. "How about hand lotion?"
"Oh--yeah. I'll get it." Reid disappeared for a moment, then returned with a plastic tube and handed it to Morgan, who was now naked.
Reid finished undressing, grateful for the dim light.
He did so, and Morgan crawled over to him, pushed his legs apart, and sat back on his heels. He put on the condom, slicked up, and positioned Reid's hips at a higher angle for easy entry. Reid looked up at him, searching for something--a kindness, some sort of assurance or affection, even just a word acknowledging him as a sentient being, but Morgan proceeded as if he were unloading groceries from a shopping cart. Reid tensed up as the moist tip of Morgan's cock probed at his entrance.
He gasped when the thick member was thrust in; the tearing pain shocked him, and brought tears to his eyes. He tried to choke away his distress, but when Morgan drew back and slammed in again, he couldn't stop an anguished cry from escaping. "Ow! Morgan, please! Stop, it hurts..."
Morgan was just beginning to get a feel for the tight channel, and was at first oblivious to the kid's discomfort. When he heard Reid's words, he paused, bewildered.
"What? What's wrong?" In the low light, he could just barely discern tears glistening in the kid's eyes. Shit.
He pulled out and yanked Reid upright by his shoulders. "What the hell's the matter with you?"
"Nothing," Reid said, his voice shaking. "I-I just didn't know it would hurt so much, that's all."
"Didn't know it would--Damn it, Reid, are you saying you haven't done this before?"
Reid shook his head, avoiding Morgan's eyes.
"Aw, fuck." Morgan flipped over on his back and lay next to Reid, his erection diminishing by the second. He futilely stroked himself for a moment as he pondered the gravity of the situation.
"Spread your legs," he suddenly ordered as he pushed the lamp shade aside to gain more light.
"I want to see if you're bleeding."
Horrified, Reid did as he was told. Morgan examined him and gave him an exasperated look before rolling off the bed. "Come on..."
Reid gingerly scooted off the bed and limped after him. He heard water running in the tub.
"What are you doing?"
"Get in. It'll make you feel better."
He did as he was told, and was grateful as the cool water washed over the throbbing burn. He drew his knees up to his chest and watched Morgan head back to the bedroom. He could see him dressing, and his heart sank.
Morgan stood in the doorway, tucking in his shirt. "Sorry I hurt you, kid. But, you should have told me. I'd of gone a hell of a lot slower."
"I know. I just--never mind."
Reid stared into the bath water. "I just figured you wouldn't want to do it with me if you knew I was a virgin. Plus, you'd make fun of me forever."
Morgan took a breath, then laughed ruefully. "Yeah, I guess I would have. But--well, anyway, I really am sorry. Be sure to, uh, dry the area real well, and use some antibiotic ointment. You'll be ok." He turned to leave, then heard Reid's voice.
Morgan turned. "Yeah?"
"So--I'm not a virgin anymore, right?"
Morgan stepped back into the doorway. "Well--no. Technically, anyway."
Reid nodded. "Good. I really wanted my first time to be with you." He smiled sheepishly and hugged his knees closer to his chest.
Morgan frowned. "You did?"
Morgan walked back into the room and sat on the closed toilet. "Why?"
"Well--I really like you. And, I could never do it with anyone I didn't really like. It's hard for me to meet people. And, even when I do, I don't--I don't really get a chance to get to know them very well. I could never go to bed with someone I didn't trust completely. I got to know you, though, and I can't think of anyone I trust more. So, I thought, you know... I mean, I didn't think you'd want to, ever. But--sometimes, I notice you looking at me. And I thought, well--maybe there was a chance. I just never get to really talk to you away from work, so..." He shrugged, then looked over his shoulder at Morgan. "I'm sorry, I'm babbling again."
"No, you make perfect sense." Morgan dropped to his knees next to the kid and took his face in his hands. He was so damn beautiful. So smart, so sweet, so... So everything Morgan wanted and yet was terrified of having. He leaned forward and kissed him. Reid looked at him, puzzled.
"Why'd you do that?"
"I'm so sorry, kid. You've trusted me all along, and I've just been an asshole to you, haven't I?"
Reid gave an emphatic nod. "I thought so! But, I didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure..."
Morgan laughed, and turned to get a towel. He held it up for Reid to wrap around himself. He helped him out of the tub and pulled the boy into his arms.
"I'm sorry, Spencer, I'm so sorry... I just--jeeze, kid, I was not ready for you to come into my life. I've been so busy fighting with myself, I didn't... I just couldn't--"
"It's ok--Derek." He rested his head against Morgan's shoulder. "I don't blame you. I know I can be annoying."
Morgan hugged him tighter and brushed his forehead with a kiss. "You're ok. Once a person gets used to you."
"You're used to me?" Reid looked at him in surprise.
"Getting there." Morgan gave Reid a soulful kiss and led him back to the bedroom. "Why don't you get dressed and I'll take you out to dinner?"
"Yeah. I think it's time we talked. Really talked."
Spencer's felt a rush of happiness that was as wonderful as it was foreign to him. "I'd like that."
He gave Derek a peck on the cheek and smiled that brilliant smile, and Derek Morgan thought about the saying, "There's a thin line between love and hate," and it occurred to him that he had just stumbled headfirst over that line, into a new town, a new country, a new world.
And, it occurred to him that he already kind of liked that world.
Although, "like" didn't quite capture what he was feeling...
The little green button calls to you... ;)