Disclaimer and Story Notes

Title: Pistol Whipped

Author: paddycakepadfoot

Summary: Street!Harry. Crime consortiums, alternate identities, guns, and a grandiose plan to take over the world. AU. Slash. Eventual DM/HP.

Genre: Everything, Jesus.

Warnings: Tolerable (I hope) OC's, attempted rape, gore, murder, violence, dub-con, underage consensual sex (when Harry is 13 and then 16), Crime, drug use, drug distribution, immoral!Harry, slut/bottom!Harry, multiple pairings, Slash, Het (mentions and one instance), lots o' OMC/Harry, eventual DM/HP (main pairing), partial LV/HP, one-sided SS/HP, AU/AR with elements of all seven books (DH included IS included), UST, anal, mention of kinks, genocide, lots of characters, abnormal jumps, breaks, and formatting of story, prostitution, unrealistic views of crime syndicates, unrealistic views of Federal Agents, crude and cruel American/British Humor, and the biggest warning here: racist themes including highly offensive and derogatory terms. There is racism. Even though this story pretty much revolves around drugs and weapons dealing, there is a hell of a lot of racism. So, either handle your shit and get over your politically correct bull, or exit the premises of this window. *click click*

CC and Flames: I accept CC, it is valuable and golden in my eyes. Flames, however, are a pointless endeavor, and will be mocked profusely. Don't be a fool, stay cool.

Feedback: Email or site review. I respond to each individually.

Story Notes: Pistol Whipped is entirely finished, and I have now begun the sequel. I sort of started this project to see if I could set a goal for myself and follow through. Needless to say-I did rather well. It took less than five months to finish, and after well over six-hundred pages and forty chapters later, I find myself glowingly accomplished. Despite the fact that this is done, I am always appreciative of tips and corrections. I've been working on a lot of original fiction lately, and this is my break from the complexities of my writings. Before you start to read, please heed the warnings and take a moment to look through the hypothetical Q&A I've written up. Hopefully, this will stop people from asking me rather annoying (to me at least) questions.

Q: You use a lot of OC's in this story. Why don't you just write an original one?

A: Because I'm already doing so, and if you read past the first and second chapter, you'll find the Harry Potter world is, in fact, very significant to the world I've created. They are intricately twined together.

Q: Will this include DH?

A: Yes, the premise of the Hallows and the Horcruxes are in the story. They are a small part of it, though.

Q: When do you update?

A: Every week. Friday. No excuses.

Q: Anything I absolutely have to know before reading?

A: This is slash. All of my stories are slash. This features OMC/Harry quite a few times, and much of the plot surrounds OC's. Hopefully, it won't be too much of a problem for people. I think they're tolerable, and I hate Mary-sues and Gary-stues. Yuck.

Q: Do you plan on finishing your other stories?

A: I am deleting a few. I'm working on a sort of sequel one-shot…thing, for The Loft. Then I will be posting a sequel to The Rock Show. Yeah, for fans!

Q: This doesn't read like a parody, is it one?

A: Yep, but subtle.

Q: Do you respond to every review?

A: Every. Single. One. I love you guys. I love feedback, and I'm lonely. JK.

Complaints I can see coming up:

C: Don't like Harry under a false identity!

R: Me neither, at least not usually, but I like him in this.

C: Too many OC's!

R: Not enough! I do OC's rather well.

C: Update faster!

R: No.

C: It's Pistol-Whipped, not Pistol Whipped. You forgot the dash.

R: I forsake the dash. The dash I bash. I will not put a dash, I won't. I do not like the dash, I don't.

C: Slash? Ew!

R: FAIL.

More Information: Fun and fantastic stuff is on my new WP. Character charts to lessen the confusion, play lists and soundtracks, and other miscellaneous crap can be found there. This is also posted on AFF , where you can find extended lemon scenes. It's also posted on Hpfandom, to find links to these places, go to my profile and check my WP.

Inspired by: Panic Switch by the Silverson Pickups, crime dramas, real life, Cops, and Quentin Tarantino.

-Shameless Plug-

If you enjoy Pistol Whipped, you might like: The Denarian Trilogy by Shezza88, and Bloody Skies by Toki Mirage. Brilliant authors!

To Readers: Thank you for reading this silly, ostentatious A/N, and thanks in advance for reading the story. I quite like reviews, helps me know someone's out there, so please take the time to leave me a comment. If you would like to contact me about anything, my email is available on my profile. This story is meant to be a parody. Do not take this seriously, do not go bat shit crazy over anything offensive, because it is absolutely intolerable considering my many, many warnings. Not only am I mocking the street!Harry theme, but television and film and their exaggerations of the mobster genre. Somewhere while I was writing this, it turned into a bit of a soap opera, and honestly, who takes soap operas seriously besides your crazy Aunt Joann? Just enjoy. Thanks again, loves.

Thank You: To Shannon (because your parents are the coolest detectives I've ever met, and for being awesome!), Amazonia (for letting me bounce ideas off of you, and for looking this over), and to cigarettes, coffee, and Led Zeppelin. Led Zeppelin more than everything else. Sorry, guys. Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., Bloomsbury, and Scholastic, respectively. All original characters are products of the author, as is the premise and plot. Copyright infringement is not intended and I make no money from posting this story.