The Fourteenth Letter
To My Interesting International Niece,
Writing this letter is pointless in a way, because I can't send it to you. I'm dead, and you're not. And since I can't un-die, the next time I can talk to you will be when you die. Now Gin, I'm not saying that I wish you were dead so that I could talk to you, but dying just makes it so much more difficult to talk to people.
So why am I writing this? I guess it's just because I want to say how proud I am of you. I'm proud that you were able to finish the letter, and I'm even proud that you were able to begin the journey. You didn't know what the letters would hold, but you trusted me, and that made me happy.
I'm really glad that people like my paintings now that I'm dead. I mean, no one ever showed a dying interest in them when I was alive. (Get it Gin? Dying interest! Well at least I think it's funny.) But since I'm dead, I have no use for them, and I'm glad that you have money now. I have a confession Gin; I wasn't sure what I wanted you to do with the money. All I knew is that I wanted you to have some, but I wasn't sure if I should give some to Richard. I love Richard, but this was your journey, and I felt that you would make the right decision. And I think you did because it feels right to me.
Gin, you have a reason to me mad at me. Yes, I left, and I didn't tell anyone why or when I'd be back. But the truth was, I didn't know if I'd be back. I guess we know now; I'm never coming home. But I'm glad you're going home, it gives me satisfaction. You're doing what I couldn't; to face everyone again. I was sick, and I couldn't tell you all, it was just too hard, too final. As long as I stayed away there was some hope that I would get better and return. But you're right, some part of me always longed for home. I really hope you learned something from this journey, Gin. I certainly did when I took it, and I wanted you to experience it too. And I think you did. I even learned something from your journey. I learned that it's okay to love someone who loves you back. And that it's okay to let them know that you love them. So thanks Gin, for telling Richard something I was never capable of doing while I was alive.
One last thing Gin: I know you cheated. Talking to Miriam was against the rules. But that's okay. We'll pretend it never happened.