Title: Lightning Struck
Genre : Romance, humor
Word length 830
Sypnosis Larxene didn't appreciate being single.
Yaoi/Yuri/Pairings: Larxene/Lexaeus... Kind of. Also a couple of not-at-all-serious other pairings. Serious in this fic, at least.
Author's Note: Repeat the MST3K mantra after me, children… "It's just a show, I should really just relax." Or, in this case, fic made for the sake of humor.
"I need a boyfriend."
Four little words, and the entire 'common room' of the Castle That Never Was goes silent. Seated in the comfiest chair in the room, Larxene glares at her fellow Organization members. The various men (and one boy) all stare at her, some surprised while others are terrified, lack of heart be damned. Only Marluxia actually seems amused by the whole, unexpected affair.
With no vocal opposition, Larxene gets up, and the sound of her heels snapping against the floor while she paces is distinctly threatening. "Do you, any of you, know how long I've been in this damn Organization?"
"Approximately two years," Zexion offers as he gently places his book on the nearby table. He's one of the few not visibly scared shitless.
"Right! And in those two years, I've been surrounded by eleven hot men- Okay, not Vexen-"
The scientist in question makes an enraged noise in the back of his throat. Ignoring him, Larxene forges on.
"An I the only one who sees the problem here?" She pauses, and crosses her arms underneath her chest with a pout no one laughs at. "I've been single the entire goddamn time! Not one of you has even asked me out on one measly little date! Well, that's going to change. A pretty girl like me can only take so much." With a 'hmph', Larxene flips some hair over her shoulder and places one hand on her hip. Frowning, she looks over the ten other Nobodies stuck in the room with her. "Judgment time, boys." An evil smirk appears on her lips, and she takes a on-size-fits-all collar from her coat pocket. Twirling it about on her finger, she says, "First of you that isn't gay that I get my hands on is mine."
The reaction is instantaneous in the only sitarist of the room. Demyx practically vaults across the room to land on Marluxia's lap and cling to the front of his coat. Looking desperate, he babbles, "Marluxia, just wanted you to know I think you're fantastic and hot and please go out with me?" Then, in a lower voice, he adds in a whimper, "Don't let me be sacrificed to Larxene, for the love of Kingdom Hearts."
If he was amused at first, Marluxia is on the verge of laughing out loud now. Patting Demyx's head, he tells Larxene, "It appears I'm a taken man."
"Good for you," she scoffs, blatantly ignoring Vexen and Saix, the former having none too subtly moved behind the bristling latter.
Feeling rather vulnerable (damn his good looks! ), Axel looks towards his best friend for help. One problem: Roxas is long gone. Little sneak's been taking lessons from Zexion. Axel thinks, along with a few choice curses. Swearing won't get him anywhere, though, so he does the only thing he can: he bolts.
Xigbar treats the sharp thunk thunk thunk of kunai hitting the now open door as nothing more than background noise as he polishes his guns. Grinning lazily, he asks Xaldin casually, "Hey, we made out a couple of times, right?"
Adjusting his glasses, Xaldin peers over both them and the cookbook he's reading. (Fucking prescription.) The glower he directs at Xigbar hints that the above event was the result of much alcohol and an incident the sonovabtich swore he'd never speak of again. However, what comes out of his mouth is a gruff "Yes". Then he returns to his book, wondering just how much bribery it would take to get Marluxia to help him poison Xigbar's next meal.
Before Larxene can so much as call an appropriate 'bullshit', Luxord is suddenly kneeling before Zexion, holding the other man's hand in his. "Zexion," he begins solemnly. "You surely know how Naminé lacks true parents, and that I have taken the place of her father. However, that's not enough. A young girl needs a familiar maternal figure, one who she likes and can learn from. You fit all of that, and more. You're handsome, intelligent... Simply perfect. Marry me?"
Translation: Play along with this, for the love of all that is holy.
Perhaps the only person who finds this situation as funny as Marluxia does, Zexion leans back in his chair slightly, smirking as he presses one set of knuckles to his cheek. "Of course," he agrees, as if he gets marriage proposals every other day. "As long as you remember who truly wears the pants in this family," he adds, fluttering his eyelashes mockingly.
That little show actually earns a small snicker from Larxene, whose eyes glint in amusement. However, she still remains single... And only two members of the Organization remain.
By a twist of fate, one of them actually enters the room at right that moment, unaware of the dire situation at hand as he rubs the back of his neck. "The Dusks were overreacting again," Lexaeus mentions to Zexion. "Oblivion is fine." Trailing off, he just then notice the odd proposal scene-
Standing on the very tips of her toes, Larxene grins viciously, and a shiver runs down Lexaeus' spine, although he can't tell if it's from the collar suddenly around his neck or Larxene. "Gotcha."
Belated Disclaimer: I own none of the characters above. This is just for fun, not profit. The only thing I can even vaguely own is the plot.