"I am not going near those things," Michel said distastefully, staring at the swans and then he turned to Lorelai. "You did this on purpose."
"Michel, you are accusing me of doing something like this?" Lorelai asked, trying to keep a straight face but inside, she was laughing hysterically. She actually hadn't had anything to do with the swans but Rory sure now how to kill two birds with one stone.
"Of course I am," Michel said. "Who else would do something like this?"
"Rory, where are we going?" Jess groaned, letting his girlfriend practically drag him.
"You'll see!" Rory grinned. Lorelai smiled to herself. Her offspring, the joy of her life, the fruit of her loom, had taken after her. She had Jess' eyes covered with his tie so he couldn't see and both he and Michel jumped when he heard the swan squawk. Talk about good timing. Lorelai eyed the swan appreciatively.
"What is that?" Jess asked, looking around almost frantically.
"That would be a hideous swan," Michel said.
"A swan?" Jess said. "Rory, I told you I was sorry-"
"It's my wedding gift," Lorelai said as Jess took the tie off of his eyes. "We talked about getting a bird and we just agreed. Why not a swan? I mean, we have Paul Anka and no one though I'd be able to take care of him. So why not a swan?"
"We are not keeping a swan," Jess said, backing up slightly.
"So you dislike the evil creatures too?" Michel said.
"They're evil!" Jess said. "One beaked me in the eye! I was merely minding my own business and then it came out of no where and beaked me!"
"Ah yes, I was also in an… unfortunate encounter with the swans," Michel said. "A gang of them chased after me when I was just a little boy. You don't recover from that."
"No, you don't," Jess said, eyeing the swan with a distrusting look.
"You are responsible for this," Michel told Lorelai. Lorelai gasped for dramatic effect.
"How could you blame this all on me, Michel?" Lorelai asked. "I had absolutely nothing to do with the swans! I had forgotten all about them!"
"Wait, Michel's scared of swans?" Rory asked.
"Wait, what do you mean swans?" Michel asked.
"You don't mean swans with an 's' at the end..." Jess said.
"Like, swans," Rory said. "More than one? Plural?"
"Rory, that was years ago!" Jess groaned. "I told you the truth!"
"No, you told me you got hit by a football and then, years later you told me the truth," Rory said.
"Where do you want these?" Kirk asked, pulling up with a cart full of swans.
"I'm leaving!" Michel said. "You and your offspring did this on purpose!"
"I'm going too!" Jess said. "I'm telling Luke about this!"
"You can take them to the pond, Kirk," Lorelai said.
"Where is that?"
"You know the walk way you came up?" Lorelai asked.
"No," Kirk said.
"Oh wow, do you know how to say big help in Chinese?" Lorelai asked.
"No," Kirk said.
"Uh, okay. Jackson, can you sure Kirk where the pond is?" Lorelai asked. "Why didn't you join the debate team when you were in Chilton again?" Lorelai asked, putting an arm around her daughter.
"Because it's not considered a sport," Rory said.
"No, but it is the way the Gilmores play," Lorelai grinned. "Did you see Michel's face?"
"I didn't know Michel was afraid of swans," Rory said. "Now I feel kind of bad."
"You can't feel bad," Lorelai said. "That was too funny!"
"Yeah, it was," Rory grinned.
"And two birds with one stone," Lorelai said. "Mommy has taught you well."
"So what do you think about Luke finding out about the swans?" Rory asked, beginning to walk with her mom.
"I don't think we have to worry about that," Lorelai grinned.
"But you told Jess that we were going to keep one,"
"Yes, yes I did," Lorelai nodded.
"We can't keep a swan,"
"It was a joke. It's not my fault your boyfriend snores and can't take a joke!"
"But is Luke going to see it as a joke?" Rory asked.
"Oh," Lorelai paused. "Maybe we should hide the swans?"
"Where are we going to hide swans?"
"How about Doose's Market?"
"Sounds good to me,"