Chapter 1

Obi-Wan lay curled up on his bed, with tears in his eyes.

Why? Why did it always have to be so difficult for him? The Force must really hate him, he thought.

He was now a month back from Melida–Daan, and he had to prove himself every day again. To his Master, to his teachers, who suddenly gave him much more work than was normal for the average Padawan, and on top of that they were either very harsh or cold towards him.
He couldn't blame them, though

But how had this day become so awful? It started out normal, his alarm went off at 6 o'clock, and he had breakfast with his master, eating in silence as always.

His Master. It had started with him. Sometimes, he wondered why in the Force's name he had wanted to become Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan.

There he'd gone wrong. He should never have Qui-Gon wanted as his master. The first weeks were good, but not as he wished them to be.

After a month, things started to go downhill. He was fourteen now, but their bond was still week, if they even had a bond, he thought

They never communicated through it, he realized. Not once. And his master could be so... cold, and harsh.

Obi-Wan shuddered by the thought how his master glared at him when he told him today that he had fought with Bruck.

His master had told him that he was very disappointed in him, however not only because of that, but also that he was called by Tahl, who told him angry that she had a crying Bant next to her, because of Obi-Wan.

Then he was sent to his room, for meditating. But of course he couldn't. He was so confused. How did he let it get this way? His Master, Bruck, Bant. Bant. His best friend. At least, if she still was his friend, probably not after their fight.

A tear seeped out of his eye. They never had a fight. Sure, sometimes they quarreled about something, and laughed at the end. Not this time. Poor Bant, she only tried to help, he realized. But he had shouted horrible things at her, bringing her to tears. His mind wandered off to the scene…

Riiiiiiing! The bell went. Luckily. He sprinted the class out, as fast as he could. Stupid astrophysics. They had gotten their test back. He was the only one with a bad grade. Very bad. He hurried trough the crowd, to his lightsaber classes.

"Obi! Wait! His Mon Calamari friend rushed to him, her silver eyes shining. "What did you have for your test? I've got an A!" Bant almost bounced in him.

Obi-Wan sighed as he said: " I've got a D."

Bant's face faltered. "Oh.. I'm sorry.. I know how hard you learned for it.."

Oh yes, he had studied very hard for it. Up to a week, and now his hard work was rewarded with a D and an annoyed Master Erk'lé.

He looked at Bant, who waited with a tense face for his reaction. He smiled a sad smile. "It'll be okay, I guess… I just hope Master won't be angry."

"Oh Obi, I'm sure he won't be, he knows how hard you've studied, right?" she added uncertain.
His master?

He didn't know anything of it. They ate and slept in the same quarters, and trained trice a week, but nothing more.

Nothing more. That was the problem. Obi-Wan did want more.

He saw other couples, laughing and sparring, training together. But his master barely spoke to him, and if he did, it was mostly because he'd done something wrong. No, from those points, his master wasn't interested in him. Not at all.

A sob escaped him.

He probably only want to get rid of him, he thought miserably. How many times had he tried to get closer, to talk about something else then training?

He didn't know it any more, he'd lost count. The only thing he knew, was that it didn't worked. His master only shied more away from him. But why? Was he not good enough? Had he failed? His anger problems? Yes, that must be the answer, he thought in shock. His temper. He never learned, as he had so perfectly demonstrated today….

After he had reassured Bant that he was fine, he ran to his 'saber classes.

On his way, he almost ran into Master Yoda. After a lecture and a kick in his shins, he followed his way, glancing over his shoulder if that damned green troll was gone.

He'd sprinted to his class, knowing he was too late. And that wasn't good. Master Shiko didn't like him.

He didn't know what he had done, but what he did knew, was that Master Shiko definitely held a grudge against him. And that was perfectly clear..

"Ahh, Padawan Kenobi, so you're going to join us? And why are you late? Oh no, don't tell us. We all know what happened. Did you run into Master Yoda, or did you run into a wall this time? The last, I think with that mind of yours."

He heard some snickers.

Obi-Wan felt himself flushing. Oh, how he hated that man.

"Sorry, Sir, it won't happen again"

"Really Kenobi? Didn't you tell us that the last time, and the time before that?"

Obi-Wan heard laughing, and looked; he saw Bruck and his friends making obscene gestures at him.

He felt a jolt of anger. No, not know, he thought. Behave yourself. Don't let that idiot come on your nerves, he's not worth it. He repeated the sentence like a mantra.

After some humiliating comments, they finally went sparring. He sighed inwardly. Until he was coupled to Bruck. Oh no.

"Hey Oafy-Wan, heard you screwed your test. Well, that doesn't surprise me"

He sneered at Obi-Wan, while their lightsabers clashed upon each other.

"Shut up Bruck." was the only thing he could say, while delivering Bruck a nasty blow.

"Did you go weeping by that fishy 'friend' of yours? You really are a sissy, crying out by a girl!

Bruck teased him, blocking his blow and hoping to get more out of Obi-Wan.

It worked. He hit the right spot.

"Don't call her that! And I did NOT weep!" He said angry, and he forgot for one moment his focus, enough for Bruck to hit him in his leg.

Obi-Wan hissed, and tried to get Bruck, but he blocked his blow, and knocked Obi-Wan to the ground. Their fight was over.

"Well done, padawan Chun! I'm sure your master is very proud of you." Master Shiko said with a wicked smile. He knew it!

"Thank you Master Shiko. Obi-Wan fought as …. usual" Bruck said.

Obi-Wan felt furious. He wanted to end that smile of Bruck, that stupid idiot.

When the bell rang, he was so glad, he almost ran out of the sale. But he was stopped by Master

"I think I'm going to inform your master about you, Kenobi. You are always too late, and you fight with too much anger. I'm sure your Master must know that."

Obi-Wan froze. Oh no. His master could not know about this! Then he would be in so much trouble!

Master Shiko must have known, because he gave the frightened padawan a very mean smirk, and walked then away. ***

Obi-Wan slowly turned around, and walked with his head down out of the sale.

Everyone else was gone, it was their last class for today. He walked around the corner, and in a fraction he felt himself being hit in his face.

He shouted and covered his eye, where he was hit. He felt a big bruise coming up.

When he looked up with one eye, he saw Bruck and his friends laughing and making stupid faces at him.

"What do you want Bruck?" he growled, knowing that he couldn't get away. They blocked the corridors.

"Ah, nothing Oafy-Wan. Just seeing you cry, and yell for your little friends."

Then Bruck kicked him hard in his abdomen. A fire shot up, and he winced, and tried to get away, but he'd not so much luck. One of Bruck's friends gripped him from behind, and another one grabbed his arm, and turned it.

Crack. Obi-Wan felt tears coming up.

"Hey, stop it!" yelled somebody.

It was Bant.

"Ooooh, there we have fishface. Now were sooo scared!" mocked Bruck.

"You'd better be, 'cause I've called my master!" She said angrily.

That had effect. The bullies released Obi-Wan and backed up, disappearing. Bruck yelled on last thing.

"You're lucky this time, Oafy-Wan, next time you won't have fishy around to save your babyface!"

And with that, he ran away, too.

Obi-Wan sank to the ground, while Bant ran to him.
"Are you Okay, Obi? What did they do? Oh no, you must go to the-

"Leave me alone!" he said.

Bant looked dumbfounded.


"You heard me. I said LEAVE ME ALONE!"
he yelled the last part, jumping from Bant. She looked very hurt. "Obi-Wan?" she said softly.

"NO! NO! GO AWAY!" he shouted at her.

All the trouble came suddenly out, his whole body hurt, and he felt so humiliated by Bruck.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! I DON'T WANT TO BE HELPED BY A-" he stopped abruptly. He immediately felt regret for what he had said. Too late.

"By what? BY WHAT? Bant started to yell too.

"BY A GIRL? IS THAT IT? FINE ! THAN I WON"T BOTHER YOU ANY MORE! She cried with tears in her silver eyes.

"FINE!" and with that he ran away, leaving a very distressed Bant alone in the corridors. He didn't saw Tahl running to Bant, comforting the crying girl.

Oh, how much did he regret that now. How could he ever have said that to Bant? He had let his anger control him. Again. See where it has lead him. Everyone hated him. The reaction of his master… he shuddered.

He ran to his quarters, forgetting his injures, how much they hurt.

When he came into their apartment, he saw his master standing in the room with the comm at his ear. Uh oh… "There he is.. I shall talk to him."

he gave Obi-Wan one glare that said: You are in VERY much trouble, young man.

Obi-Wan stood rigid, his heart pounding in his chest. It hurt. It seemed he had some broken ribs too.

His master hung the comlink at his belt, and said "Sit. Now" to him.

Obi-Wan slowly sank down in a chair.

"Three calls. Three. From Master Erk'lé, Master Shiko, and from Tahl. What did you actually thought? A D for your Astrophysics. But that is not the worst. No, you let your anger control you again. I'm very disappointed in you. You will go to your room, and meditate on this, until I say you're done. You'll also get a punishment, which I yet have to think of. Understood?" said he cold.

Obi-Wan felt tears brimming in his eyes, but not only from pain.

"Y-yes Master."

He said with a thick voice, and he hurried to his room.
He felt his Master's eyes priming in his back before he shut his door.

He fell on his bed, sobbing, while the tears went freely over his cheeks. He rolled up till a small ball.

And he still was, but not crying any longer. He had no tears over to spill. The stress of the past months finally became him to much after this day, and with and shuddering sigh he finally fell asleep.

AN: (Author's Note)

***You might wonder why Master Shiko is so mean. Well, let me tell you, he isn't the only one who does that to Obi-Wan.

After all, Obi-Wan is still on probation after Melida-Daan. The Masters know this and some… well they don't cope with it to well. Let's say Qui-Gon isn't the only one to distrust Obi-Wan.
And Obi-Wan knows this very well. I think you can imagine his inner turmoil.
It's one of the reasons why he tries to be perfect, but it is just not enough.