A/N: This is what I wrote for the Twifans for Haiti compilation and I am posting it in honor of the Reader Appreciation Day. I love all my readers I appreciate each and every review and word and alert I get from you. You deserve the best!
Thanks to magan bagan for being an awesome beta!
Just to let you guys know that I am currently working on "It Started with Indecency". I have not abandoned it and I won't. EVER. I am re-working some stuff, mostly re-writing to have a better story because you deserve it for being so wonderful.
Disclaimer:All copyrighted, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.
Not Too Late
Alice was painfully pulling at my hair. I hated her for doing this to me; she knew how much I disliked getting all dressed up. She was going to be the death of me.
"Bella, stay still, I'm not done yet," said Alice through gritted teeth, looking at my reflection in the mirror. "Besides, you have to look good because you know that my brother is coming tonight."
"Whatever Alice," I said rolling my eyes, a betraying smirk adorning my features. The truth was that I felt a little… okay, very nervous. Edward Cullen was coming to Forks for the first time since he left for college.
Today was the Cullens' Christmas Eve party; every year they invited many people from town to have an early Christmas dinner. So, naturally he was going to be here for the holidays.
"Bella, your denial is so cute," stated Rosalie rummaging through Alice's things.
"What are you implying, Rose?" I asked indignantly, as my other friend kept on torturing me.
"That you have a thing for Cullen," she said nonchalantly, eyeing a beauty magazine.
"Ouch!" Alice pulled at my hair harder. I knew that the little pixie was doing it on purpose. "Stop it Alice. And I don't have a thing for him."
I knew it was pointless to try and contradict them, because they knew that what Rose was saying was true; Edward Cullen had always been on my mind.
However, it was hard to acknowledge those feelings for various reasons. Edward Cullen was an arrogant, egotistical jerk that went from girl to girl as I went from book to book. Back in high school, he was quite the heartbreaker; being the most gorgeous guy in school, all girls threw themselves at his feet. Naturally, Edward being a hormonal teenager, he didn't hesitate on taking what was offered to him. And so, he broke many hearts before leaving.
Many hearts, except mine.
It wasn't that I was immune to his charms, but that I saw him in a different light. Ever since we were kids, when I used to come to his house to play with Alice, Edward would always tease me. He would pull at my hair, hide my dolls, or spy on Alice and me. It was really annoying, but Esme would always say it was adorable because she said that he acted that way because he liked me. And she couldn't be more right.
Even though, Edward had the bad habit of luring girls into his room, he would always have the nerve to ask me out. Of course every time he did, I turned him down. I knew better that to go out with him. He would use me and break my heart. I didn't want to be another one of the many girls he'd had. I didn't want to be another notch in his bed.
So that's why I never gave him a chance. There were countless times I felt tempted to say the little word that would change everything, but I was smart, I always followed my head instead of my hormones and heart. He looked so crestfallen by my rejection, but I didn't want our probable relationship to be the root of future problems between the Cullens and me.
But this last semester, I had thought about him and his actions, doubting that he would ever have bad intentions regarding us. Edward had always treated me differently, giving me what I requested of him. Not that I asked a lot, but he always knew what I wanted or needed at the moment. He knew perfectly all the things I liked or disliked. Maybe Alice had something to do with that, but he had a gift of bringing a smile to my face nonetheless.
The gift of making me feel unique, different from all those girls that had touched him the way that I longed to touch him. But that thought always brought a bitter feeling to the pit of my stomach, because I couldn't help but think that maybe he liked me because of that. He had never had me like he had them. Edward knew that I'd never had… that I was still virgin; information provided, of course, by Alice. Sometimes I saw myself as a challenge to him, but other times I knew it was so much more. I was so confused as to his true intentions.
Since he had gone, I was stuck with the 'what if's'. I kept on wondering what it would feel like to give him a chance. My friends always encouraged me to say 'yes', because despite his womanizing ways, he was a good boy that many girls would die to have him wrapped around their fingers like Rose and Alice said that I had him.
I knew that Edward just needed to grow up and that all the shit he did back in high school would not matter. He was noble at heart, a wonderful brother, friend, and son.
And because of that, one thing that Rosalie always said stuck with me; I had to make up my mind because if not, I was going to be too late. He was bound to get a good girl at his side. And she was right; I was not that special for him to wait.
My problem was that those same womanizing ways unnerved me. He behaved like God's gift to Earth. He was always showing off in front of Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley and that thought made my blood boil with rage. I'd known that those feelings were tainted by jealousy, but I would always disguise them with indifference and annoyance.
But now that I knew all of those things, now that I had this semester free of his presence to analyze everything about us, I would constantly find myself daydreaming about his days and wondering about mundane things like, what was he doing right now? Was he alone? Was he learning much? Had he made good friends?
Alice never said much about him, so I didn't know the answer to all of those questions, and I didn't dare ask because the mockery explosion would begin. But I felt a little anxious about these things, because he hadn't written or called, and that thought depressed me. Maybe he'd moved on.
"Finished," said Alice excitedly. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that my friend did a great job. My hair was shiny and curly, it looked pretty. "Edward is going to love it."
I snorted and Rosalie rolled her eyes at our friend's enthusiasm.
After packing all my stuff and thanking my friends, I went home to change clothes. Alice lent me a beautiful satin strapless dress, but when I put it on I felt self-conscious of every corner of my body. It felt like a second skin, even my underwear showed.
Groaning, I looked into the bag were the garment came and I found skimpy satin underwear that went with the dress. Alice, you're dead. I changed my underwear and the dress looked better.
Going downstairs, I saw that Charlie was already waiting for me. He looked at me and his eyes widened.
"Bella darling, you look beautiful," he said, astounded. Was I that ugly before?
"Thanks, Dad," I answered shyly.
Ten minutes later we were pulling in front of the Cullens' house. I stepped out of the car, leaving my dad behind, as I ran toward the door. Upon entering, I felt self-conscious once again about my attire, and I desperately needed to hide or to be prep-talked by Alice. Looking around for any signs of my crazy little friend, I walked into the kitchen and my heart stopped in that instant.
He was standing there.
But he wasn't alone. A gorgeous strawberry blond girl was standing next to him, and they looked perfect for each other. My heart thumped faster and a hole filled my chest, because the scene playing out before me was exactly what I had been wanting to avoid tonight. Rosalie's words echoed in my head, but I dismissed them as I watched the interaction of the people that was oblivious to my presence. Edward was grabbing some sort of fruit between his fingers and messing the girl's beautiful face with the juice. She was laughing and getting away from Edward's reach, but he was insistent as she dipped her finger in a cake nearby and smeared the icing on his face.
I had been too late.
He had never brought a girl home, and certainly not a beautiful, sensual, feminine one. She was everything I was not. A sudden urge to run from the scene spread through my body, as a tear slid down my face.
I turned around and my feet carried me away. I didn't want him to see me, not like this. As I unknowingly climbed the stairs, I heard him calling my name, but I ignored it, willing my clumsy feet to move faster so he would not catch me.
And oh, my God! He had seen me like this. All dressed up for him, crying and feeling like a fool. Why had I thought he was going to be alone, waiting for me when he could have a girl like her? I had been so stupid; I wanted to crawl into my bed, feeling safe and not getting hurt.
But I couldn't, so I ran to Alice's bedroom and closed the door behind me. My cheeks were wet and my eyes were puffy, my chest heaving from running away stupidly.
"Bella, what happened?" asked a concerned Alice, emerging from the bathroom, all elegant and perfect. Damn her!
"Why didn't you tell me he had a girlfriend?" I asked angrily.
"What do you mean?" Her eyes widened and her already pale face whitened even more. "Is Edward already here?"
"Yes, and… and with a girl," I spat at my friend as my voice cracked. I bent my knees, sliding against the door and messing my hair up in frustration.
"Well Bella, this is not the best time to remind you of this, but I told you so," said Rosalie, who also emerged from the bathroom. Alice sent her a pointed look as she said, "Rose, you're not helping."
"But that's weird," she continued, coming to my side and taking my hands away from my hair. I couldn't look at either of them; I just wanted to go away. "Edward never brings-"
"I know," I cut her off before she could finish the sentence. I knew what she was going to say, and it felt as if she was twisting the knife in my wound. Making up my mind, I stood up, startling both of my friends. "I am going outside. I need air."
Opening the door, I cautiously looked around, trying to avoid running into someone. I could hear my friends' protests, but I wasn't paying attention as I closed the door behind me, effectively muffling their voices.
Managing to go outside unnoticed, I sat on the porch swing, shivering as my skin felt the chilly wind blowing, little blades of cold breaking into me. I regretted not bringing my coat with me.
Looking at the rare clear sky, I wondered why I couldn't be bolder. Why did I have to be the shy little girl that would push love away? I envied Rosalie and Alice for being reckless, guided by love and following their hearts. I thought they were stupid and that they would get hurt, but now I realized that it was all about getting there.
Love possibly hurt, but it was what made us stronger, wiser, and above all, feel loved. And also there was this other face to the coin, the one that a few lucky ones got. The ones that shared requited love, that got to spend their lives with their significant other. They struggled to get there, sure, but their happiness was everlasting. Everything they did, they got to share with someone, and that was motivation enough to act.
I had been so ignorant about all of this, I hadn't taken the chance, and now that I realized this and was brave enough to acknowledge my feelings for Edward, I had been too late.
I was interrupted from my thoughts as I heard the wood creaking. Looking at the person responsible for it, I saw Mike Newton leaning over a column, beer in hand and a warm smile on his face.
"Bella, you look amazing," he said, eying me with his drunken gaze. Although I was seated, he could admire me perfectly, my legs more exposed than if I had been standing. He was tipsy, of that I was sure, as the few lights outside the house allowed me to see the red tinge in his cheeks and his misty stare.
"Thanks Mike," I forced an answer, dismissing his presence as I looked at the sky again, willing him to go away and leave me alone. All I really wanted was to think about my emotional breakdown and I couldn't focus when he wouldn't stop staring at me.
He was a sweet boy, always eager to converse with me when he saw me at school. I knew he was interested in me, but I couldn't bring myself to give him the time of day when my mind was always with the green eyed boy.
"So, are you having a good time Bella?" he asked, coming to seat next to me and placing a hand on the small of my back, the beer discarded on the floor. My body tensed at his touch, his hand trying to soothe me, rubbing circles on my back. He definitely was more than tipsy because he was being very bold. He would never touch me at school.
"No Mike, actually I wanted to be alone," I supposed that he possibly wouldn't remember this and I was really annoyed at being interrupted. However, he disregarded me as his smile widened, his other hand coming to rest on my cheek.
"Fuck, you're so hot Bella." My eyes widened and my mouth formed an "O". Taking advantage of the situation, he leaned into me rapidly, his lips crashing into mine and his arms pressing me against his body. It was after a few seconds that my mind caught up with my body, that I tried to push him away.
His sloppy kiss tasted like beer, and I was struggling against his strong grip; everything about this moment was disgusting and so unlike Mike.
"Mike, let go of me," I tried to say against his lips. He wasn't paying attention; he was drunkenly acting on pure instinct, so long gone. My cry was muffled by his mouth as I pushed at his chest with one hand, my other pulling at his hair, trying to get his face away from mine. He was being stubborn and difficult and I was getting scared of him.
Too immersed in trying to break free of the asshole, I barely heard when the door opened. "Bella, Alice told me you were… What the fuck?" asked a silky masculine voice.
I felt Mike being jerked away from me and the next thing I saw was Edward's fist coming in contact with Mike's boyish face. He seemed so lost for a moment, before he shook his head and registered what was happening. Edward was about to punch him again, when Mike leaped at him, both men lying on the floor, a tangled mess of limbs flying everywhere.
Even though Mike was drunk, his reflexes were the same as if he were sober. He was pressing his knees against Edward's torso, paralyzing half of his body as he grabbed Mike by the hair and punched him. Mike was sneaking punches also, as I saw Edward's nose bleeding. I was beyond scared because he was getting hurt and there was nothing I could do. I wanted to get into the fight, but I also wanted to go for help. My feet, however, were frozen on the spot.
"Do. Not. Do. That. To. Bella!" Edward uttered each word with hate, as he got the upper hand. He quickly flipped them over, punching Mike in the gut. An involuntary sob escaped my mouth, as I saw that Mike was wearing down. Edward wasn't getting hurt anymore. I was such a coward for staying still watching both men's aggressive demeanor.
Out of thin air, Dr. Cullen and Emmett appeared, breaking off the fight as they restrained each of the guys by the shoulders.
"You are a fucking asshole!" shouted Edward, struggling against his dad, "She's not one of your whores!"
"You're one to talk, Cullen," answered Mike. He was not moving against Emmett, his swollen lip curving into a smirk as he provoked Edward. "Plus, if you saw correctly, Bella was kissing me back, asshole!"
I gasped, because he was a lying son of a bitch. Dr. Cullen was telling them off, but none of them could hear reason. Edward thrashed harder against his father, trying to break free as he answered, "She would never do that!"
"Just because she didn't fuck you, it doesn't mean she hasn't done me," sneered Mike, but his voice was quickly muffled by Emmett's kick from behind. Edward gathered all his strength and finally broke free.
Dr. Cullen shouted, "ENOUGH!"
But Edward propelled forward, just as Emmett moved aside.
"Edward," my voice finally appeared, too. "Please!"
He stopped in his tracks, looking at me, pained and confused. I started trembling, harsh sobs escaping as I saw his appearance. His nose was bleeding, his cheek bone was red and swollen, and his knuckles were covered with cuts.
Alice, Rosalie and Edward's girlfriend stepped outside, gasps of horror emitting from their mouths. His girlfriend was instantly at his side, looking at his face, as his dad checked on his nose. Alice hugged me and Rosalie took my hand, giving me a gentle squeeze. Emmett reluctantly- on Dr. Cullen's orders- helped Mike to stand up, and took him to the swing.
Once his dad said he didn't have a broken nose, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. He told him to clean himself up, and Edward only nodded as he looked at me, his penetrating gaze angry and intense. A shiver ran through my spine as he said, "Bella, we need to talk."
I looked at my friends' shocked faces as they nodded, letting me go. Edward told his girlfriend that he was coming back in a few minutes and walked to the door, his eyes never leaving me as I followed.
Once inside, we climbed the stairs quietly, all the guests nosily looking at his appearance. Thank God my dad was not at the "crime scene" because who knew if he had brought the handcuffs and gun with him.
Edward led me to his room. Halting in front of the door, he touched his nose, looking at his blood stained fingers as he sighed. Wiping them off on his jeans, he opened the door and let us in. It was not the first time I'd been to his room, it was always so messy and smelled like him, but what I saw today was not like I remembered it. It was tidy and clean, his bed was made and it smelled like a place that had been locked for a long time.
Fidgeting in my place, I awkwardly looked at him. He was running his hand through his hair, a frown visible on his face. It was an uncomfortable moment for me, but I wasn't sure if it was for him. No longer being able to standing the tension, I tentatively placed my hand on his shoulder, forcing a smile as I said, "Let's get you cleaned up."
He nodded as we went to the bathroom. Turning the lights on, I saw myself in the mirror and cringed. My hair was in disarray, my face was red and puffy from all the crying and I felt naked in the dress I was wearing. Embarrassment crept through me, lowering my head, as my hair fell over my face.
Edward stepped in front of me, standing over the sink as he rubbed his hands with water and soap. His nose was still bloody, and I shivered because it made me weak, but grabbing a small towel from the counter; I snuck my arm around him, wetting it for him. He looked questioningly at me, as I pointed at the wet cloth, "Your face is all…"
"Oh," he said, and just as I was about to give it to him, he put down the lid of the toilet and sat on it. Realizing that he was expecting me to clean his face, I nervously stepped closer to him, the tension returning for both of us. My stomach grumbled with aversion to blood.
Gently, I ran the towel over his nose, cleaning the blood that was protruding from his nostrils. His breathing was labored as I carefully rubbed his cheek. When I passed over his swollen cheekbone, he flinched.
"Does it hurt?" I asked concerned. He inhaled, closed his eyes and shook his head. I hesitated for a moment before resuming my task. As I finished, I turned my back on him, rinsing the cloth with water.
"Did you kiss Newton?" he demanded and I stopped what I was doing, but didn't turn to look at him. His question angered me, because he knew I wasn't like that and yet, he believed Mike's comments.
"No," I spat, turning the water off.
"Then why did you stop me?" he asked through clenched teeth. "Do you like him?"
"Are you fucking serious?" I spun around, not caring about my foul mouth for once, and facing him because he was being ridiculous.
"Why would I be kidding? You were all over Newton," he stood up, his imposing figure towering over mine, but he was insane and I couldn't let him talk to me this way.
"You're kidding me, right?" I took a step forward, poking his chest with my finger, "You're an asshole!"
"And you are evading my questions!"
Our voices got louder, as we took steps forward.
"I won't answer those stupid questions because I don't owe you an explanation," I said, enraged and no longer caring if my hair was a mess once again or if my nostrils were flared like a dragon. He was an unnerving jerk.
"Yes, you do!" His fists were clenched and if I hadn't known his mother and how well she raised him, I would be afraid of being hit. His eyes were a deeper green, his hair a mess on top of his head, and his behavior was strange because he was angry at me and I hadn't done anything to deserve this treatment.
"It doesn't concern you whether I like Newton, or kiss him, or even fuck him," I said, my fist angrily closing over the wet cloth. He closed his eyes at my answer and his hands relaxed, running once again through his untidy locks.
"Are you fucking him?" he breathed his question.
"Fucking him?" I was horrorstruck at his blunt question, because who the hell did he think I was. He knew me better; I was not like that. It offended me that he would think I was like Lauren or some other school slut. Didn't he know that I was waiting for him?
"You just said that," Edward opened his eyes, a blank expression on his face as he looked at me. I wasn't going to answer his questions; he was used to getting everything he wanted and I was not going to give into him. Now I knew why I had restrained myself from ever throwing myself at him. I had been blinded by missing him that I had forgotten this.
He got under my skin and it fucking unnerved me.
"Go to your girlfriend and leave me alone!" I said, anger invading every fiber of my body as I threw the heavy towel to his face. I would have laughed if I hadn't been this livid. He stood still for a moment, his face covered in white as he pulled the towel away.
I was about to leave the room, but my periphery vision caught red. I looked at him and his nose was bleeding again. I gasped, as drop after drop slid from his nostrils. He was oblivious to his predicament as he kept on staring furiously at me. I, however, nervously pointed at his nose and he looked at the mirror.
My confidence slipped away, as I felt weak again because of the blood and worried about hurting him. Making up my mind, I grabbed toilet paper and pointed at his previous accommodation. He sat down and I stopped breathing, cleaning the fresh blood from his face. Try to imagine it was water, or even paint, but it was too much for me.
He was looking at me, his face so close to mine as I tried to focus on him. It was Edward's blood that I was cleaning, not some random person. Knowing about my repulsiveness for blood, he said, "I can do it."
"I… I got it," I closed my eyes, concentrating on his hair and the sound of his breathing. His harsh pants invaded the silence around us. Maybe he was in so much pain.
"Am I hurting you?" I asked anxiously. He remained silent for a moment before shaking his head and saying, "No, but is difficult having you so near and…"
My chest constricted at his admission, butterflies fluttering in my stomach, and my disgust for this man's blood forgotten. However, I didn't dwell on the meaning of his half sentence.
"She's very pretty," I said, trying to break the awkwardness.
"Who?" he asked as I finished, looking at his confused but cleaned face.
He frowned, sending a perplexed expression my way.
"Red-haired, tall, long legs…" I described, feeling very plain in comparison. Understanding dawned upon him as his face broke into a beautiful smile, my irritation rising again.
"Tanya is not my girlfriend," he murmured and I could barely hear him.
"Oh, well, don't give up. You guys look good together," I said, lowering my head once again.
"No, it's not like that."
My head snapped in his direction. It was not like that.
"She's a very good friend from college," explained Edward, a knowing smirk plastered on his gorgeous face.
"Oh," was my dumb answer, "A friend…"
"And nothing has happened between us," he elaborated, shifting on his seat as I stood motionless in front of him. "Unlike with you and Newton."
My jaw hit the floor at his nerves. He needed to get past that, I wanted to get away if this was about to continue, but not before he heard me out. I placed my hands on his shoulders, shaking him, trying to make him understand what an asshole he was. "You are a fucking jerk, Cullen. You and your girls, and you hypocrisy and your fucking smirk, bu-"
He cut me off.
"You know what, Swan? Shut the fuck up."
With that, he threw his arms around my waist, pulling me toward him as his lips crashed against mine. Sliding his hands over my ass, I parted my legs, straddling him. As soon as my body came in contact with his, I felt his prominent desire for me. Sure, I've felt one before, but the thought that it was Edward's, made me wild with need.
Wanting to be closer to him, my hands knotted through his stupid hair and pulled his face to mine, his hands mimicking my abandon, as he pressed our lower bodies closer still. His lips were deliciously devouring me, caressing mine as his tongue swept over my lower lip. I opened my mouth, our tongues eagerly caressing.
Running out of air, we broke the kiss, our foreheads resting against each others'. Thick drops on the sink, distant noises from the party downstairs, and our panting were the only sounds in the room. Stealing little kisses, and looking into each other's eyes, Edward breathed over my lips, "I can't believe this is happening to me."
Consumed by deep lust and adoration, I kissed him firmly on the lips once again. This was the moment that I had been waiting all my teenage years for. The grudge that returned a few minutes ago was forgotten with our kisses and caresses. I was overwhelmed by the emotions this young man provoked in me. In one instant we were fiercely fighting, but then in the blink of an eye, we were greedily devouring each other.
I didn't know that kissing that one special person could be like this. My body was on fire and I've never felt this strong desire to… to let someone touch me everywhere. My body ached for him as I ground against his hardness, his chest reverberating with his grunts as I nibbled on his lower lip.
I wanted to move against him, so placing my right foot on the toilet seat, I tried to push myself forward, but I lost my balance and slipped. I blushed and he laughed at me, taking me in his arms as I buried my face in his neck.
"Let's go to the bedroom," Edward said, lifting me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I showered his neck with chaste kisses as he squeezed my butt. Placing me gently on the bed, he crawled next to me. He took hold of my hand, our fingers entwined. I looked at our joined hands and I smiled. Wanting to see his face as he looked at our hands as well, I watched him from the corner of my eyes, but he wasn't looking at them. He was looking at me, his other hand coming to my face and tracing a line over my lips, cheeks and nose.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he uttered under his breath. Again, butterflies quivered all over my stomach at his words. He thought I was beautiful.
"Do you still have feelings for me?" I asked, the words escaping my mouth. Closing my eyes tightly, I hid my face for the third time. Opening my mouth, I said against his pillow, "Sorry, I didn't mean to ask that, it… it just came out."
He chuckled, letting go of my hand, as he cradled my face. "I've been a stupid little kid."
Curious, I opened my eyes and was met with the most beautiful green. "What?"
He sighed. "Yeah, I was so stupid and horny and girls seemed to like me, so I took advantage of that, I don't feel proud of it. I used to, but now in college, everything is different, and I realized that what I feel for you is deeper… I think I have fallen in love with you."
"I thought I was too late…" Tears ran down my eyes as he uttered those words. I knew that a lot of girls would be scared of hearing those words in their first kiss with the boy, but not me. I was thrilled, ecstatic. I was not going to say it back, because for me it hadn't happened, but I knew it would, and soon.
So I did what seemed right at the moment. I jumped him. Literally.
I straddled him, his arms around my waist, we frantically kissed. It was faster and rawer, his hands sneaking through my dress, passing over my rear, as the skin on my back tingled with his touch. I kissed him once more on the mouth before gently descending to his jaw. It was the most perfect jaw and it needed to be worshiped. He groaned, his strong hands squeezing me as the ache in between my legs returned.
"God, Edward… I need you."
"Fuck, yes," he said, as his hands traveled to my front, seeking my breasts as he cupped them. I bucked against him as he caressed me, my aching nipples hard at his touch. I had the desperate urge to feel his hands on my bare skin, so without thinking about it, I pushed down my dress, freeing my breasts and exposing them to his intense eyes.
It was then that it dawned on me that I was half naked in front of Edward Cullen. My arms instantly covered myself, but he stopped me, his erection pressed against my bottom. "Don't… let me… please."
His craving was visible in his face, making me brave enough to nod. Uncovering myself, I closed my eyes as I felt his tender hands cupping me. He groaned, his cock twitching as he thrust against me. I opened my eyes and saw him. Really saw him, all passion and lust invading him, as he leaned over me and kissed my nipple. I let out a moan, as his mouth pressed firmly against me, causing my back to arch and my hands to grab at his hair. It was then that he froze.
"What?" I asked worried.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he said against my skin, his breath hitting my wet nipple. I gasped, and tried to get a hold of him, but he refused. "Bella, we can't. Not now."
"Why?" I didn't understand what had changed his mind if I could feel him hard and wanting. To emphasize my point, I slid my hand behind me, running it over his cock. "You want me, I can feel you."
He groaned and stopped my hand, "Yes, fuck, yes. But tonight is not the night. I fucking care too much about you to fuck it up like this. Our first time has to be special. Your first time... you haven't… right?"
I shook my head, looking at his loving eyes, and adjusted my dress. He pushed me to his side, kissing my head as I snuggled against him.
"Fuck, I still can't believe I am here with you, like this… I, I never imagined it would be like this…" he said while playing with my hair; I looked at him, smiling.
"You have imagined us?" I asked, my chest heavy with emotion.
"Fuck, that's all I think about," Edward threw his head back as I kissed his neck, his fingers still tangled in my hair. "Sometimes, in the shower… shit!"
I stopped the kisses at his confession. In the shower? I grinned stupidly at him as it was his time to blush. "Well, maybe soon we'll get to live up those fantasies of yours."
"You're the best girlfriend ever," he looked at me, a new smile appearing on his face, it was shy and fucking adorable.
"Girlfriend?" I was startled but pleased by the title.
"Well, I…" he trailed off nervously, earning a giggle from me.
"I'd love to be your girlfriend, Edward Cullen." I crawled closer to him and kissed his lips before whispering, "So you have to be a good little boyfriend and play out my showerhead fantasies, too."
And then, I looked at his face, his eyes wide and his hand involuntarily touching his hardness. I kissed his opened mouth, swallowing his grunts as my hand took over his.
I didn't know why I was being so bold, but being with him like this had showed me that being loved was not something to be afraid of. Sure, we were going to struggle but I thought it was worth the risk.
He was worth the risk.
Hope you enjoyed!