A/N: Wow, hi, it's been a long while. A year, maybe more. But recently, I've been thinking about my writing, and I really haven't been able to write much since I stopped this. So, I figure that this is good practice and have decided to pick it back up. I hope some of you have remained hopeful and faithful (I know it's quite a bit to ask, sorry). Please... Read and Review.
I don't know if I love Ikuto or not. Loving someone, as more than a friend, or a family member, seems scary to me. Terrifying, actually, but I want to, I really do want to.
And, oh god, pie. I forgot that I also love pie. That's the only time I actually eat lunch. Pie- days. Yummy, yummy, pie. I need pie to live. Maybe pie can solve my problems…
No, no, pie can't just start talking to me, but, at this point, I really wouldn't be surprised if it did.
I'm crazy, after all.
No, no, not crazy, everyone else is.
I've never actually believed Ikuto when he said that, but it does feel nice to say. It's a nice thing to think of.
"Hey, Amu, you holding up okay?" Kukai asks, joining me on the roof. "I brought some pie."
"It's not pie day," I inform him.
"I know, just take the damn pie."
I take it from him, and smile a bit. "Thank you," I mutter.
He nods, and looks at the sky. "Nice day to be skipping your classes."
I don't reply- I don't think I need to. He knows why I'm here.
"So, whatcha gonna do about Ikuto? Got anything on his father?"
"I googled him. Apparently his step-father was there when Ikuto's "accident" happened."
Kukai huffs. "Alright, I know I'm going to hate myself for asking this, but what was the "accident"?"
"Apparently Ikuto feel out of a window."
We stare at the sky. The sun is lowering a bit. No one's going to believe us.
"We don't have to be believed, Amu," Kukai says. "Utau is the one who they need to believe."
"Did I ask that out loud?" I wonder how many things I say out loud that are meant for my head. Maybe that's not always a bad thing, I mean, that's how I became friends with Rima. And my lack to "brain-to-mouth filter" is how I became friends with Ikuto and Kukai. Oh, god, does Ikuto really love me in a more-than-friends way?
"Are you kidding? Of course he does. You're blind, girl."
"I SAID THAT OUT LOUD, TOO?"
"Just the Ikuto part, I don't know the thought process that lead you to there. But he really does. Do you love him?"
I look down at my pie. Poor pie. I really don't feel like eating it today. I'm sorry pie. "I… I'm not sure. I mean, how do you know when you love someone?"
Kukai smiles and shakes his head. "I've heard lots of things. You think about them all the time, you want to be with them all the time, you make up conversations with them inside your head when they aren't around, and even when you can't think of anything good to say, you still say something because you just want to talk with them… But I don't know. Honestly, it's just decided by you. Does your heart beat rise when you're with him? Do you want to be with him all the time? Can you see a future with him?
"It's all decided by you, Amu. You're the key, girl. So you better stick yourself into that lock, and switch directions, because we need you here." Kukai stands up and stretches his arms out. "I'm gonna go back to class. Catch ya later!"
I nod at him, and he grins back. "Eat that pie!" he yells, before closing the door to the roof.
"This way, Amu. Here, stop. I- before I can let you in here, we need to talk."
"What is it, Utau?" I ask.
Utau shuffles her feet a bit, than looks up at me. "Look, Ikuto doesn't like being seen as weak. You can't use some words around him. You can't tell him he needs help, or ask if he does. If you think he needs help, act upon is, do not ask permission. And do not act any differently than you normally do around him because he'll get upset, and I'll get upset, understand?"
She nods at me, than opens the door. "Ikuto! You have dear Amu here for you!"
"Ikuto turns his head on the bed and smiles at us. "Go away, sis."
Utau nods, and grabs my arm. "Remember what I said," she hisses in my ear before trotting down the hall.
I take a seat next to Ikuto's bed. It's white in here. And it smells like sick. But then I smell something that's completely Ikuto and I just want to cry.
It's not right.
"Amu," he says.
"He pushed you out a window," I blurt.
Ikuto nods. "We were fighting. I'm supposed to be getting a company that belongs to my father soon. He wants it. I'm in his way. He got angry and pushed me, then reported it as an accident, of me maybe tripping on something, or, oh, hey, he's been depressed for a while, maybe he just decided to off himself finally." Ikuto's voice was angry, at first, but then became flat. "I really was just going to kill myself before I happened upon you."
"I changed your mind?"
"You gave me something to live for. Something to want, and made me realize that there's still good in the world. You're so pure, Amu. You're the key to everything."
Funny. "Have you been talking to Kukai?" I ask.
Ikuto gives me a strange look.
"Oh, he just said the same thing to me today, that I'm the key or something. I don't really get it."
"You're going to eventually, though, I promise. Right now, though… I think I'm just going to get some sleep. Come back tomorrow?"
I nod. "Of course. But Utau is reporting your step father tomorrow, as well."
Ikuto nods. "You should be there."
"Yeah, okay," I reply. I mean, why not? It's reasonable.
"Tomorrow's pie day. So bring me some pie, will you?"
"Of course, Ikuto."
Ikuto closes his eyes and smiles. "I love you, Amu."
My heart speeds up, and I feel sweat starting to form on my palms. This is it. I have to say something. I have to-
"If you say thank you again, I'll slap you."
"Sleep well, Ikuto."
I get up to leave, and, right before I close the door, I hear him mutter, "I think "thank you" was better than "sleep well"."
A/N: Quite a something there I've got going on. I think I should probably reread the entire story for this. Jeez. Anyhow, please read and review, for it helps me want to do more. Thank you!