Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei. Why is that?!
A/N: Sometime ago I had written a story about how these two came together for the first time. However, this idea popped in my head. It's a different take on how Tsuzuki decided to be with Muraki. Enjoy!
The smaller man let out a contented sigh and tightened his hold around his lover's neck. Turning his head and unable to resist, Tsuzuki nibbled along the smooth white neck, right along that throbbing pulse point.
Muraki's chest rumbled a deep throaty growl, a pale hand gliding up his lover's smooth back, fingers playing against the nape of the smaller man's neck.
Tsuzuki laughed since he was quite ticklish there, and bit the alabaster neck in retaliation only to yelp in surprise when his rump was squeezed hard.
"Kazutaka! Th-that was uncalled for!" he exclaimed, trying to keep a straight face. Impossible as his lover's fingers were now kneading a pert ass cheek. "Ka-kazutaka! St-stop! Stop it...right now!"
Tsuzuki struggled to catch his breath between his fits of laughter. However, before he could escape his lover's clutches, Muraki, sporting a huge grin, squeezed the brunette's wiggling body to him, his fingers really going to work on that rounded bottom.
"You're not getting away, Asato. It's useless to even think so, so you can just give up right now," the doctor declared, highly amused, loving how the brunette was in such a playful mood and losing himself in the moment.
"Never! I'll never...give up! Not...*chortle*...not when I have you...*snicker*...have you at MY mercy!!" Tsuzuki's legs collasped beneath him causing both men to tumble from the couch onto the thick carpet. But now the guardian was deftly pinned underneath his larger lover.
Realizing his predicament, Tsuzuki blinked, his bravado punctured.
Then an explosion of laughter filled the room. Muraki lifted himself up, straddling the guardian, his whole body shaking from fits of mirth. Tsuzuki joined him in that, laughing up a storm himself. After a time, Muraki wiped at his eyes, shaking his head, silver bangs brushing over bright eyes.
"Believe it or not, beloved...I was at your mercy," he replied, smiling. "I was quite helpless with laughter and--"
His words were cut short when the guardian jackknifed forward, startling him.
The violet-eyed man's face broke into a wicked smile, his arms snaking around broad shoulders.
"Ahh, you discoverd my stratgedy. It's taken me many years to hone and perfect it. I call it 'Operation Belly Laugh' and as you can see, it has succeeded. Now, Muraki Kazutaka. Will you surrender peacefully?" Amethysts glittered.
Muraki bit his lip, the corners of lips twitching. Getting ahold of himself, the doctor managed a straight face.
"I see that I have been bested by a serious adversary. Yes. Yes, Asato Tsuzuki, I surrender to you," he replied, his voice as serious as he could make it. "Now...what are your terms?"
Tsuzuki's brow puckered in thought. This was going much better than he planned. His beautiful contrite silver-haired angel and now at his mercy. No. It certainly couldn't get any better than this. Deciding not to string this delicious scenario too far along, he plunged right in, declaring what he most desired.
"My terms are this: We go into the bedroom where I will make myself comfortable. And then you will...undress for me..."
Surprise radiated from Muraki's silver eyes, completely taken aback. Was this his lover? His Asato making such a demand? A sexual demand, at that? A smile spread across the handsome man's face. Words couldn't express the joy blooming in his heart that his lover could be so bold. Bold and blushing, he noticed. Those cheeks were quite pink and flushed which made Tsuzuki's sexual claim all the more endearing and exciting.
Tsuzuki gave a sheepish smile, lowering his eyes, his heart hammering. He certainly got carried away but deep down he knew his lover was thrilled. What virile, vigorous, healthy, red-blooded man wouldn't be after such a declaration? AND his lover was always reminding him that whatever Tsuzuki asked of him, he would embrace with love. This time being no exception.
The silver blonde leaned forward, eyelids half-hooded, expression tender.
"It seems I am at your mercy. Very well. Lead the way." His hands clasped the guardian's waist to give a gentle push up as Tsuzuki seemed a little stunned. However, the violet-eyed beauty snapped out of his surprise and scrambled off the floor in eagerness. Grabbing his lover's hand, Tsuzuki trotted toward their room and pulled the taller man to stand in the middle. Breathing hard, Tsuzuki swallowed and stepped back, violets fixed on his lover's handsome face.
"It is hard to believe, beloved, that in such a short time you would be commanding and growing in your desires," Muraki whispered, unbuttoning his white shirt. "In your trust in me..."
Tsuzuki reddened, bowing his dark head. "It's...it's only right that I should grow, Kazutaka. My desires...my trust..." Tsuzuki looked up, his voice dropping to a breathy whisper. "My love for you...has grown since our first time."
Our first time....
Ten months ago...
"Oh man. What made me think this would work? It won't. It just won't."
Tsuzuki seemed on the verge of panic as he paced the small bedroom. Running both hands through his hair, he clasped his hands behind his neck.
"I'll cancel. That's it. I'll just call him and cancel. No big deal. He'll understand."
In three furious yanks, Tsuzuki succeeded in undoing the tie he had just tied ten minutes ago and tossed it to the floor in a huff. Plopping heavily on the small bed, the guardian bent forward, cradling his head in hands.
I'll cancel. That's it. I'll just call him and tell him something came up and I'll cancel. No big deal. He'll understand.
Taking a deep breath, he lifted his head, staring at the mottled ceiling and tried to think of a plausible excuse.
I'll just call him and tell him something came up at work and that I need to work overttime. Or I'm sick. Yeah, much better. Much more believable. I'm sick and we can go out another time...and...and...what the hell is wrong with me?!
Sighing, Tsuzuki slight frame fell back against the small mattress bouncing a couple times, dark hair fanning against a faded bedspread.
Why the hell am I backing out? I made the decision and now I'm backing out?!
Tsuzuki rubbed his eyes. There was no getting around it. He had to face it. He was scared.
After his last date with Muraki five nights ago, Tsuzuki was feeling so happy, feeling confident that the doctor was sincere that he had made the decision to lose his virginity to the beautiful man on their NEXT date. Which was tonight. In about thirty minutes to be precise.
It had been a major decision for Tsuzuki, something not to be taken in a flippant manner. Especially now that he and Muraki were getting along much better than he could have imagined or hoped.
Tsuzuki sat up, a sudden thought coming to him.
I don't have to cancel! Muraki doesn't know anything about my decision. I didn't tell him!
Relieved, Tsuzuki smiled. What was he worrying for? He would go on his date, enjoy himself and say good night and that's that. Picking up the discarded tie, he slung it around his neck. Walking up to the small mirror, he took his time in knotting it.
Yup. Just go and see where Muraki takes us and enjoy myself and it'll be fine and I'll sleep with him some other time.
Hands stilled. Violets blinked.
Sleep with him some other time...
Why...why am I hesitating? Why am I making this so complicated? It's what I want..."
Biting his lip, violets gleamed from the mirror.
His feelings for Muraki. What were they exactly? He couldn't deny that he felt a deep attraction for the man. He honestly looked forward to their dates, being in Muraki's company. Listening to the doctor talk about his day and Muraki in turn listening to Tsuzuki talk about his day. No longer was the guardian wary or suspicious of the handsome blonde. Now, Tsuzuki found himself relaxing more and more and it was...nice.
Now, Tsuzuki's feelings, his urges were becoming more intense...more distracting. It was getting to where he couldn't concentrate at work. Constantly he found himself staring off into space dreaming of all sorts of erotic images, the silver blonde in different stages of undress. So much so, Tatsumi had called him up on it several times, even docking his pay twice!
The guardian sighed. Those dreams! Dreams where he imagined the doctor's perfect physique, wondering what it looked like naked. That alabaster skin and hard muscle. Muraki's beautiful face...silver eyes shining like diamonds; straight perfect nose, high cheekbones, thin brows...and that mouth! Those thin soft lips kissing him senseless, pale hands caressing Tsuzuki's naked body.
Tsuzuki whirled away from the mirror. He needed a drink. Going to the kitchen, he rummaged through the icebox and grabbed a bottle of half-drunk red wine. Not bothering to look for a glass, he swallowed a couple of times straight from it, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He set the tall bottle down on the counter. He needed a clear head. Drinking himself to oblivion was not going to help him sort things out.
I want him. I want to be with him...in that way. Why am I scared of that?
Tsuzuki knew the reason before he asked the question. His lack of experience being the major obstacle. Not knowing what to do or how to initiate. He had a pretty good idea of the basics when two men coupled, but other than how it would feel physically, how much pain would be involved, he hadn't a clue. Probably a good amount of pain and discomfort.
Ask his friends?
Tsuzuki squeezed his eyes tight. What was he thinking?! No way was he going to ask any one of his friends for sexual tips! Tatsumi would just question his sanity...when WAS the last time Tatsumi had sex anyway? And Watari...well, Watari would snicker and tease him mercilessly.
Definitely out of the quesiton!
But it was on an emotional level, that Tsuzuki wondered what Muraki really felt for him. Lust and desire, no question the doctor felt that for he had said that often enough in the beginning...when they were enemies. But it seemed to Tsuzuki that Muraki was taking great pains not to push his attentions hard this time around.
But the brunette wanted more. There were times when he imagined Muraki cared more about him. Maybe even loved him.
Love? Does he love me? I know he...he cares about me. I see the way he looks at me...the way he treats me. Can it more than that?
He frowned. Could he sleep someone who didn't love him? If they desired one another isn't that enough? A few passionate, unforgettable nights and afterwards...
Afterwards what? Move on? Just walk away? Make love a few times and just walk away from him? Or he walks away from me? He's experienced...and I'm not. I'd bore him...
Tsuzuki shivered at the thought. wrapping his arms around himself, despair gripping his heart.
Would it matter so much if he left me?
Again, that sharp ache pierced him, almost making him double over.
Yes, it would matter. It'd matter because...because...
Tsuzuki caught his breath.
I love him.
Tsuzuki's heart skipped. He gripped the edge of the table, the reality vibrating through his core.
"I love him. I love Kazutaka Muraki."
There. He said it outloud. Something that had been lurking in his heart and mind spoken aloud. Making it real. He smiled. It was exciting...this revelation. Exilerating and terrifying. Exilerating because he was in love for the first time in his life. Terrified because what if Muraki didn't reciprocate his feelings?
Starting, Tsuzuki glanced at his watch and swore. He was late! Not majorly late, but late enough. Running into his bedroom, Tsuzuki grabbed his trench and made a quick mental check. Sure he had everything, he closed his eyes and dissipated in a violet vapor.
Muraki checked the grandfather clock in the hall again wondering if the timepiece was running slow. But if that were the case, the hall clock, the mantlepiece clock, not to mention, his watch were running slow as well.
Tsuzuki was late.
Fifteen minutes late. Concern had given away to trepidation, uneasiness flittering in his chest.
I'm sure he's all right. But just to be sure...
Flipping his cell phone open, he punched a button, his features impassive.
I'm sure he's all right.
The phone on the other end rang and rang and rang...
Muraki snapped it shut, silver brows furrowed.
The Bureau? Perhaps, a difficult case or a mountain of paperwork. I should call his work...
Much to Muraki's relief, it was Tsuzuki looking a little flustered but standing before him. Safe.
"Tsuzuki-san, come in, please." Muraki held open the door, the brunette walking in the entryway, a cold breeze behind him. The doctor shut the door and turned. He sighed inwardly with relief. Tsuzuki appeared to look all right. More than all right, actually. The wind had tossled the man's chestnut hair, fluffing it up; violet eyes were shining underneath the thick fringe of bangs; pink cheeks flush from the brisk outdoors all added to quite a beautiful creature.
"Sorry I'm late. I took too long getting ready and before I knew it, I was late. Sorry," Tsuzuki explained, taking his hands out of pockets and clasping them.
Muraki walked up to the smaller man and reached out to cup his chin. "As long as you are all right, Tsuzuki-san. I was worried," he murmured, his thumb stroking the gentle swell of cheek.
Tsuzuki gazed up, mezmerized by those silver orbs. "Y-you were?"
"Of course, Tsuzuki-san."
"I'm sorry! I should have called! I just...just wasn't thinking." The guardian just looked too distressed and a pang of sympathy pierced the doctor's heart.
"Shh, it's all right. You're here now." Muraki pulled Tsuzuki into his arms. "I'm not angry, Tsuzuki-san. Really. I was just...concerned. You were never late before." Slender fingers rubbed the guardian's nape, soothing.
He cares about me.
Tsuzuki rested fully in the doctor's hug. "Sorry," he whispered into the silver blonde's chest.
Muraki frowned catching a note of sadness in the smaller man's apology.
"Here now. What's troubling you?" Muraki voice gentle. "What is it, Tsuzuki-san? Is it work?"
Tsuzuki's heart squeezed hearing the silver blonde's loving concern. He shook his head, dark bangs swaying. "Yes and no. Just the usual stuff at the Bureau. I guess...I guess I just need a break...a vacation."
Muraki assessed the brunette, then bent his head to give a sound kiss on the dark-haired man's temple. "It would do you good, Tsuzuki-san. As a valuable employee you must take periodic rests to keep up your strength and stamina. You should ask for some time off soon. Will you do that?"
Tsuzuki glanced up. "All right. I will. First thing tomorrow," he promised. He flashed a brilliant smile. "Thanks."
Muraki smiled back, eyes crinkling at the corners. "You are welcome. Now. Shall we go?" He motioned toward the front door. "I thought perhaps a show and dinner, then a walk in the park."
The guardian stood where he was. Desire, confusion, relief, happiness...all manner of emotions swirling throughout him. "I...I...Muraki?"
The silver blonde stilled at seeing Tsuzuki's face. "Yes, Tsuzuki-san?" He waited. He could tell the brunnette was debating with himself about something.
"Could we...could we stay in tonight? I mean, just have something here and...and watch a movie or talk?" Tsuzuki gulped, his cheeks warm.
So far in their dates, Tsuzuki had agreed with whatever the doctor planned, which suited him fine because he had never really ventured out before so anything Muraki suggested he knew would be interesting and fun. And it was. But this time, the guardian wanted to just spend the evening with just the two of them. Maybe as the evening progressed, Tsuzuki would gain enough courage to take things further.
Muraki approached the violet-eyed man with a grin. "I'd love that, Tsuzuki-san. What a marvelous idea," he remarked, quite pleased. "Here. Let me have your coat and then we'll see what's in the kitchen, ne?"
Tsuzuki nodded, doing just that, grateful that the doctor was willing. Handing the doctor his trench, Tsuzuki made way for the kitchen. Muraki watched the man's retreating back, admiring the cut of the tight jeans hugging that cute bottom nicely.
Taking a deep breath to steady his pounding heart, Muraki hung the dark coat and followed Tsuzuki. Opening up the large refridgerator he found some leftover chicken and sticky rice and suggested a quick stir fry. He put Tsuzuki to work by instructing how small to dice the vegetables, while he heated a large pan. It was slow-going for the guardian, not accustomed to handling a knife and making precise exacting pieces. Tsuzuki bit his lip trying his best but going painfully slow, mumbling his frustration at his clumsiness.
Muraki watched him for a minute.
"Here, Tsuzuki-san. Like this." Standing behind the smaller man, the doctor placed his hands over Tsuzuki's, took hold of the carrot and demonstrated slicing it in small matchstick pieces. "You see? Curl your fingers like this so the blade of the knife is against your knuckles so you're less apt to cut yourself. And...rock the knife like this...take it slow, don't rush. All right?"
Tsuzuki nodded, brows furrowed now trying his hardest to pay attention to the lesson. But damn it was hard! Muraki's lean hard body against his, the scent of his spicy cologne filling his nostrils, the warm breath against the nape of his neck. And those arms! He could practially feel how muscular the taller man's chest was. He swallowed and tried to focus and the task before him.
"Y-yeah. Rock the knife." He closed his eyes, savoring the moment, feeling a little light-headed.
"Good. Now let me watch you," Muraki said, his voice soft. Taking his hands away from Tsuzuki's to place on either side of the man, he leaned against the brunette's shoulder. "Yes, that's right. Nice and slow. Good, Tsuzuki-san!" Muraki paused, his eyelids dropping half-mast.
Tsuzuki smells wonderful...like...like warmth and sunshine and green hills...and his hair...how does it get this silky...?
The doctor's mind wandered and without thinking, he pressed his cheek on that silky head, his body relaxing.
Violets opened wide.
Taking a chance, Tsuzuki leaned back, a soft sigh escaping. It felt so nice. He couldn't help feeling comforted and safe. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head, their cheeks pressed together. How long they stood like this, Tsuzuki had no idea. Forever would have suited him just fine as far as he was concerned.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!!!!!!
Both men started, looking around at the source of that high-pitched screeching. It was the smoke alarm alerting them of the thick smoke emitting from the stove, the chicken sputtering hot oil and blackening in the copper skillet.
Muraki swore, grabbing a towel and dumped the pan into the stainless steel sink with a clatter, turning on the cold water faucet. Tsuzuki helped by taking another towel and flapping it wildly, trying to clear away the thick grey haze and coughing like mad. Muraki opened a nearby window a crack for fresh air. After a while the alarm finally quieted and the two men surveyed at the damage. Catching each other's eye, they burst into laughter.
"Well, Tsuzuki-san. *chuckle* I don't think chicken will be on the menu," Muraki said, shaking his head, picking up the soggy scorched pan.
"No, it sure won't," Tsuzuki replied, laughing. "Unless we want to settle for blackened chicken stir fry. It kind of looks like something I usually make."
The silver blond laughed at that. "Well, I'm usually not so careless. However..." Muraki gave a side-glance. "I never have been so nicely distracted before."
Tsuzuki gasped and looked down at his feet. "Yeah...umm, well. Sorry about that," he stammered.
Smiling, Muraki warmed to the guardian's bashful demeanor finding it quite adorable. "No need to be sorry, Tsuzuki-san. It is what it is." He clapped his hands, the brunette jerked his head up. "Now. What shall we do about dinner? I suggest we go back into that refridgerator and make a second attempt."
Tsuzuki grinned. "I'm game if you are."
After finishing a delicious meal of sweet tuna/rice rolls, they settled into the living room to watch new-release. As the credits were rolling, Muraki served up a platter of several varieties of small pastries and dessert wine. Muraki swirled the ruby wine in his glass, listening to Tsuzuki, the brunette's hands gesturing as he explained what he thought of the plot and how much he enjoyed the characters.
"I'm too much of a fan of suspense thrillers because they can get too complicated and heavy-handed. But I liked how the main focus was just on the two leads. It made it much better to follow and much more interesting when things started to go wrong for them. You felt like you were going through it with them." Tsuzuki took a bite of a spiced tart. "These are good, by the way."
Muraki smiled. "Thank you, Tsuzuki-san. And you bring up some interesting points." He reached over to set his glass down on the coffee table. "What did you think of the ending? Did you feel it was too ambiguous? Should it have been a more decisive conclusion?"
"Oh no! I think it made for a much better story," Tsuzuki protested. He took a swallow of wine. "The director leaves it up to the viewer to make up their own mind. It kind of goes with the whole scope of the picture."
"Very good." The silver blonde offered the guardian another pastry, then sat back against the sofa. Muraki watched Tsuzuki enjoy the dessert, his heart warmed. It was wonderful, spending an evening with him like this. Just relaxing and talking. Muraki didn't believe it possible that one day he would share such a time with the guardian. He was indeed grateful.
"How was work, Tsuzuki-san? A heavy work load?"
"No, nothing big." Tsuzuki leaned back as well, his head resting against the soft leather. He turned his head to better look at the taller man. "It's just the usual paperwork and general inventory. I knocked off a little early today so I'd have time to get ready but..." He bit his lip. "It...it didn't help. I still got here late."
A pale hand reached across and brushed Tsuzuki's bangs from his forehead. "It's all right, Tsuzuk-san. No harm done." Muraki's handsome features softened. "I am glad you are here."
Tsuzuki's body felt warm and tingly and the way Muraki was gazing at him right now...it just made him...happy. "I'll...I'll call next time so you won't...worry."
"Thank you, Tsuzuki-san." His hand still gently combing through the dark strands, rubbing them between his fingers.
"Do...do you worry about me, Muraki?" he asked, his voice a mere whisper. "DID you worry, I mean?"
Muraki's hand stilled. He dropped it to grasp Tsuzuki's slender one, giving it a light squeeze. "So there is no question, Tsuzuki-san. Yes. Yes, I did worry when you didn't call as you have not been late before." Seeing Tsuzuki's distressed face, he shook his head. "I wasn't angry nor upset. Just concerned. I care about you, Tsuzuki-san. Please don't doubt that."
Sudden tears gathered in violets that were wide with wonder. Swallowing down the thick lump in his throat, Tsuzuki blinked them back, hoping like mad they wouldn't fall. He would just be too embarrased. A grown man of his years on the verge of crying!
But Muraki noticed them right away, couldn't help but notice the way those violets glittered so he scooted himself closer. "Tsuzuki-san," he whispered. "Tell me what you're feeling. What's troubling you?"
"I...it's just that...I don't really think...I mean..."
To Tsuzuki's mortification, an errant tear escaped, a glistening trail in its wake. Before he could laugh it off and brush it away, Muraki's hand got their first, his fingers catching the droplet before it dripped off.
Oh no! Now he thinks I'm an emotional mess!
On the contrary. If Tsuzuki only knew how enchanted and touched Muraki was at that moment witnessing such vulnerability, he wouldn't have believed it. Indeed, the silver blonde seemed in a trance. He couldn't get over how unbelievably beautiful Tsuzuki looked. Those amethyst jewels, a full bottom lip trembling. How fragile and emotionally exposed. And not afraid to show it. The many times Muraki had witnessed Tsuzuki's fury and scorn towards him in the past and now...
Now, to see this side of violet-eyed beauty filled Muraki's heart with overwhelming feelings of love and awe. At the same time, a fierce protectiveness flooded the doctor's being to the guardian. Muraki could sense that the man harbored insecurity, that something was eating away at him. It was time to put the matter about how he felt about Tsuzuki to rest once and for all.
"Tsuzuki-san. My feelings for you are what they always were and always will be. I care about you. Very much." Muraki leaned forward, making sure that Tsuzuki understood fully. "No. It's more than that," he emphasized. With both hands the doctor placed them on the smaller man's upper arms to pull him forward and faced each other fully.
"I love you, Tsuzuki Asato. I love you."
"No tricks. No hidden agenda. When I told you at the beginning that I put aside my revenge and pain, I meant it. I willingly gave them up to come to you with my soul laid bare. To court you properly...if you would have me. These past weeks have been more than I could have hoped for...being with you like this. You seem to trust me more and more and for that, I am grateful."
Tsuzuki listened, Muraki's words calming and exilherating. The way in which the silver blonde declared his love felt all together different to Tsuzuki. He couldn't explain it but the way Muraki looked straight into his eyes, the sincerity in his voice, his softened features...it all added to one thing:
Tsuzuki believed him.
A slow smile spread over his face, violets twinkling.
"Tsuzuki-san? What are you thinking?" He cupped a tan cheek. "Can you tell me?"
The guardian nodded. "Yeah." Sliding his arms around Muraki's shoulders, he leaned forward to hug the doctor. "You love me. You've said it before and...and I never believed you...considering what we were to each other before. But now...I don't know...it feels different now. YOU'RE different."
Muraki wrapped his arms around Tsuzuki's body, running his hands up and down the slender frame, concerned at the way he was trembling.
"You mean a great deal to me, Tsuzuki-san. I will pay for my past, I know that. But for now I couldn't go on living without telling you how I feel about you...truly feel. And...and if by some miracle, you care for me a little..."
Tsuzuki pushed himself away to look at the silver blonde, violets searching the man's face. "Muraki..."
Muraki smiled. A sad smile that didn't quite reach his shimmering eyes. "It's too much to hope for, I know. Perhaps...perhaps just knowing you do not hate me as you once did will be...will be enough."
The doctor's voice broke at the last word and bowed his head, shamed that his fear had gotten the better of him. He didn't want to show this side to Tsuzuki. He didn't want Tsuzuki's love out of pity, a charity case, if you will. He didn't want the guardian to feel the need to be with him out of a sense of guilt. The many times Muraki had to restrain his emotions and not throw himself at Tsuzuki's feet, begging for the violet-eyed beauty's forgiveness and stay with him, love only him.
Muraki released Tsuzuki, getting to his feet, despair rolling over him.
What had started out as a lovely evening was, much to the doctor's mortification, crumbling.
I don't want him to see me like this!
The doctor went to the window and fixed his gaze at the garden concentrating on the little shrine at the end of the path and took measured breaths.
Never seeing this side of the doctor before, Tsuzuki couldn't move at first, stunned.
He's hurting! All this time he's been hurting...
He stood up, walking up to the tall man's lean frame. "Muraki..." He stood at the doctor's side, touching his arm. "Muraki, I--"
Muraki whirled around, Tsuzuki took an instictive step back. Plastering a smile on his face, Muraki rushed into speech.
"Forgive me, Tsuzuki-san. That...that was quite unnecessary of me to...to subject you to that. It was not my intention to lose...control." He waved his hand toward the sofa. "Please. Sit down and we'll continue our discussion. Would you like another drink or a cup of tea? I have some imported chocolates that may tempt--"
Silver eyes widened.
"Don't do that, Muraki! Don't hide what you're really feeling from me!" Tsuzuki stood straight, lifting his chin, violets piercing straight through, not letting the doctor get away with anything. "In all the times we've been together, I've never seen this side of you." His tone softened. "Please don't be afraid to show it. I want to help you. And...and I do care about you."
Tsuzuki took a deep breath and stood closer to the silver blond. "I was late tonight because I needed to sort out what my feelings for you were. I mean, what yours were for me."
Muraki studied the brunette's face, a slight frown knitting.
"I know...I know you," Tsuzuki's voice turned into a whisper. "...desire me. And I thought that was all you felt. And I thought...I mean, I told myself it was okay. That we could...we could BE together and I would be fine if it was just a...a physical relationship. But the thought of you...walking away, leaving after you've had your fill of me..."
Muraki grabbed Tsuzuki's upper arms. "No, Tsuzuk-san, no. I'd never do that," he assured with heat. "Never!"
Tsuzuki managed a weak smile. "Yeah...I know that now. You love me..."
"I do! More than anything!" Thinking it would be better to show the brunette than mere words, Muraki lowered his head, giving a deep kiss. Surprise froze Tsuzuki but only for a few heartbeats. With a groan, he wound his arms around the slim waist, his hands clutching Muraki's back.
Heaven. Tsuzuki was in absolute bliss, his lips being the recipient of such a thorough caress. He delighted in the feel of Muraki's silken mouth which tasted of wine and a lemon sweet. Light-headed, unable to get enough he clung to the doctor's strong body returning the kiss with great enthusiasm. After a time, Muraki lifted his head, pressing his cheeks against Tsuzuki's temple, catching his breath, eyes closed.
"Tsuzuki-san...Asato," he breathed. "Never doubt...my love for you, Asato. Please. That you may care for me...even a little...then that would be..."
"I love you."
Eyes snapped open. "What?!"
"I love you, Mur-Kazutaka." Tsuzuki stared back, violets glistening.
"Asato? Can this be true?"
Tsuzuki nodded, his eyes fixed on that beautiful face. "I love you," he repeated with a bit more force, happy that the truth was told. "I don't know why I waited so long to tell you..."
Muraki didn't know whether to laugh or cry, the guardian's confession making his senses reel, turning his world on its axis.
Asato Tsuzuki LOVES me!!
"You're telling me now," he whispered. His smile grew, straight white teeth forming into a brilliant smile. "Asato, say it again. Tell me again. Please!"
Catching Muraki's mood, Tsuzuki grinned. "I love you, Kazutaka Muraki." He threw his arms around the silver blonde's neck, hugging him hard. "I. Love. You!"
Muraki hugged him back. "It's true...it's true. You love me...I'm not dreaming. Not this time. You love me..."
"Yes, yes, yes!" Laughing, Tsuzuki felt himself being hoisted and spun around and buried his face into the crook of the doctor's neck. Doubts, worries, fears, anxieties...all his cares dissolved. All that mattered was that Muraki Kazutaka was a changed man and he loved him. The silver blonde was beside himself. He didn't know what to do. For the first time in his life, he didn't know what to do. To laugh or cry or run down the street shouting that the most beautiful man in all of Japan loved him, forgave him. It was all too much. All too wonderful for words.
A miracle! I'm happy. I never thought this would be possible..that I could be this happy. Never...
"Yes, Asato?" Muraki lifted his head a little to look at the brunette, his smile radiant. "What is it?"
"Can I...can I spend the night?"
A/N: How was that? Like I said, one of my first stories was how Muraki and Tsuzuki first coupled. And looking back on that, I realized it was kind of rushed and didn't express the emotions too well. But, hey. It was my first attempt. So NOW I'm hoping to make up for that by writing this.
And murasaki mean 'violet' in Japanese. A friend suggested the title because of the reference to Tsuzuki and how those violets were reacting to his many emotions. Thanks, Poppy Lee!
So a review would be lovely, let me know what you think. And I'll get that next chapter up, pronto! Thanks so much and until next time! :)