Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei. And it pisses me off. Grr.

A/N: Hi all! All my blatherings as why this took so damn long is at that end. For now...Enjoy!

"You ARE sensitive here, Asato," the silver blond whispered, assessing the slick puckered nipple before him. Kissing it, his hand glided down the olive-toned chest to rest on the taut abdomen muscles that were now quivering under his fingertips.

Tsuzuki groaned, his body squirming on the mattress, his own fingers grasping in silver hair. How long had Muraki been kissing and savoring his helpless body like this? The minutes seemed to meld into an uncountable number in his pleasure-induced brain, especially when the silver blond honed in on his nipples, kissing and biting each one as though they were a delicacy. And since Muraki had set out to show him that there were sweeter things to be had than the cookies and cakes the brunette had been consuming, the silver blonde was, indeed, proving his point quite well.

Now, Muraki was nibbling his flat stomach while one white hand caressed his chest and the other slid around to his back. Tsuzuki gave a soft tug to the silver tresses, his fingers twirling around and around the silken strands.


Muraki lifted his head, a question wrinkling his brow.


He noted the guardian's beautiful flushed features and bit back his query. No need to ask Tsuzuki what was wrong. Or right in this case. It was clear to the doctor that his beloved was overwhelmed...overheated. Certainly nothing wrong with that but Muraki held himself in check.

He was determined to prolong the man's pleasure for his first time. Of course, Muraki wanted nothing more than to devour the beautiful guardian until they were both mindless and spent. But that would come afterwards in the days ahead.

Tonight was for Tsuzuki.

"Kazutaka...I...it feels so good...I never thought...I mean..." Tsuzuki swallowed hard and struggled to lift himself up by the elbows. No use. He fell back down, sighing.

Muraki chuckled softly pulling up to face Tsuzuki. Leaning close, he nipped the brunette's chin.

It is overwhelming, ne? he asked, grey eyes shimmering. He loomed over the slender brunette, careful not to put his full weight upon the man. "To the body and senses. This night is not meant to be rushed, Asato. I want our first time together to be...memorable."

Tsuzuki blinked in astonishment. How very different from what Tsuzuki imagined a night with Muraki would be. Even Watari's warning about what to expect, that he may have to argue with the doctor to take precautions faded with the Muraki's words. His astonished expression must have shown on his face. Muraki's silver brows quirked.

"You are surprised, Asato?" he asked. He reached out to brush wayward locks of chestnut hair from violet eyes.

A blush.

"Well...just that...I was kind of expecting and was told that it would be...like you said...overwhelming. And...painful," he concluded softly, shifting his weight on the mattress, a bit embarrassed. But he was advised by Watari to let the doctor know his concerns because it was his first sexual encounter. Would the sophisticated man brush aside his worries?

"It can be," Muraki nodded, his fingers now combing through soft strands. "One's first time can be painful IF one's lover is unconcerned with his partner's care and comfort. However, I promise you, Asato, that I WILL take care of you." Finding Tsuzuki's hand, the silver blond threaded their fingers together, squeezing for emphasis. "And be assured I WILL take my time."

Violets widened along with a sharp gasp. "Oh! Well...good! I mean...yeah! Good!"

Muraki let out a laugh. Grinning, he leaned down to kiss the guardian's lips. "I'm glad you are agreeable, Asato," he murmured. "Now...put your arms around me. Hold me close. Let me feel you."

Tsuzuki swallowed. "All right."

I told him I trusted him. And I do trust him. I can't help but feel that...he wouldn't hurt me...

Reaching up, the guardian slowly twined his arms around Muraki's broad shoulders, pulling the doctor's body atop him fully. Blood roared in his ears, the thrill of Muraki's naked skin in contact with his. Closing his eyes, the brunette's brain scrambled at the headiness of what was happening.

At times, in the recesses of his mind, Tsuzuki's imaginings would wander to various scenarios of erotic settings where he and various beautiful partners would commit sinfully delicious sexual couplings...

But before Muraki, before meeting this charismatic man, the faces of Tsuzuki's fantasies would be blank canvases, just beautiful bodies.

And now...having met the silver blonde all his fantasies consisted of sparkling silver eyes, glossy platnium hair, alabaster skin. And in those fantasies, Tsuzuki had often wondered what Muraki's body would feel like, if his skin was just as milk white underneath, if his frame was lanky or muscular. And now holding the man close the guardian knew. Muraki's body was all of that and more. A combination of strength and leanness and smooth silk.

"You...you feel good," he whispered, then buried his face against the silver blond's shoulder, a shiver running along his veins.

"You my dear Asato...you feel wonderful," Muraki whispered back, gliding his hands up and down the smaller man's naked back. "So much strength in these limbs and yet...delicate at the same time..."

Tsuzuki looked up, a bit surprised. "Is that how you see me, Kazutaka?" he asked softly wanting to know what the doctor saw in him. "When I look in the mirror I just see...me. Nothing special..."

"Asato, Asato," the silver blonde chastised, taking the man's chin between his fingers. "You ARE special. Very special. I wish you could see yourself as I do. A beautiful man, full of exhuburance, laughter, warmth. A man who possesses such rare violet eyes that one could easily get lost in..."

Tsuzuki listened to the doctor's description of him with disbelief, his cheeks growing hotter by the second.

He sees me like that? I thought I was just kind of ordinary...I don't know what I thought really...To hear him say that I'm...special...

Happiness, pride bloomed but more than anything, embarrasment. So much so, Tsuzuki shook his head wildly.

"I'm not! You're just saying th-"

Muraki stopped the rest of the guardian's protest with a heart-stopping kiss. It didn't take long for Tsuzuki to respond as he tightened his hold around the silver blonde's shoulders for support. Groaning softly, the guardian swirled his tongue with the other, excitement throbbing.

"I mean every word I say, Asato," Muraki murmured between kisses. "Please believe me when I tell you...you are a beautiful *kiss* exciting *kiss* fascinating *kiss* vibrant *kiss*..."

"Ka-kazutaka...mmmm...b-but...mmmphmm," Tsuzuki tried his best to keep up with the compliments bestowed, but it was rather difficult when each was followed by the pressure of warm lips against his own.

"Graceful *kiss* strong *kiss* beautiful *kiss*..."

Tsuzuki smiled, a giggle bubbling forth. "You...you said that..."

Muraki, silver eyes glazed, blinked. "Did I? It bears repeating, ne? Beautiful *kiss* beautiful *kiss*..."

Merriment danced in the brunette's eyes and he couldn't help laughing. Undeterred, Muraki concentrated on the brunette's neck his voice muffled as he continued his litany.

"Funny *kiss* silly *kiss* beautiful*..."

Both men fell back against the bed laughing. Tsuzuki wiped the tears from his eyes feeling much more relaxed. And surprised at seeing this side of the doctor. Smile fading, Muraki pulled up close. Silver eyes intense, Tsuzuki own grin disappeared, realizing what was about to happen. Muraki kissed him.


Their tongues massaged, entertwined, chasing each other within their mouths as Tsuzuki's body broke into a fever. His legs fell open to let Muraki settle between his slick thighs. Groin aching, the slender cock aroused and hot, he rubbed hard against the silver blonde's torso, pleasure burst at discovering this new sensation.

Playfulness gave way to lust.

Muraki's hands ran down the length of the brunette's back, his palms coming to rest and kneaded the firm ass roughly. Tsuzuki tore his mouth away panting heavily, whimpering when nails dug into his soft skin only to have his mouth caught and plundered, his moans muffled. Instinctively, he gyrated his hips, a delicious friction generating. Stretching one long leg out and planting his foot on the mattress, the guardian attempted to bounce his hips, wanting more leverage against the hard body above him.

Growling, Muraki grabbed at the leg, pushing it down. Lifting his head, breathing hard, he raised himself at the waist, staring down, he looked almost savage.

"Asato..." he groaned. Biting his lip, Muraki ground his pelvis with force giving in to what Tsuzuki wanted. Crying out, Tsuzuki panted, his sweating body writhing to receive maximum pleasure.

So good...more...more!

Then it stopped. Violet eyes snapped open.


Reaching down, Muraki fingers sought his lover's small entrance and once found, slipped in one long digit, in and out.

"Ohhhhh...wh-what are you...ohhhhh..."

Tsuzuki arched his back, beads of sweat popping and rolling down his chest. Unable to resist the naked chest heaving in front of him, Muraki leaned forward, catching the errant droplets, scraping his tongue on naked skin while his finger probed his lover's tight inner muscles. A second finger followed, thrusting a little faster, delving a little deeper.

Tsuzuki's cock sprang up in response to the deep prodding. When he felt another invader, his muscles clamped hard around it. Squirming, Tsuzuki moaned loudly, his face flush, strands of dark hair sticking against his forehead and cheeks. He began to thrust in time to the finger-fucking, tossing his neck back.

Why had he waited so long to do this? Watari never mentioned it could be like this! Nothing could have prepared the brunette to such sensations, his nerve endings tingled promising something more...he felt on the verge of losing control, of giving something up only to gain something much more delightful...meaningful.

Delerious, taking in lungfuls of air, Tsuzuki strained reaching for his cock to stroke himself. Muraki grabbed his wrist, pinning it above the guardian's head.


Muraki removed his slick fingers. It was time. The silver blonde's own self control was barely in check at seeing Tsuzuki's beautiful body writhing on rumpled sheets, every muscle taut. How many times had he dreamed of this very scenario, Tsuzuki in his bed naked and hot wanting him, he couldn't say.

"No, no, no..." Tsuzuki whimpered at the deprivation bringing Muraki back to the situation at hand. Shimmering violets welled up. "Kazutaka..."

Muraki's breath hitched, his heart skipping a beat. Quickly, Muraki conjured up a small jar. Dipping his fingers, he rubbed the substance on his rigid cock, oiling it from root to crown. Tsuzuki watched, violets half-hooded focused on his lover's large erection, inner muscles twitching impatiently. He licked his lips, marveling at the length, the girth and thickness of it, how incredible it would feel deep inside him, thrusting hard and fast, making him scream.

How it would feel between his lips...feeling the weight of it on his tongue...?

Excitement replaced fear. Hesistation was replaced by a wanton need to be filled to the hilt. His inner demon had awakened, lusting, hungry for completion...for his mate.

"Kazutaka...hurry...please..." Tsuzuki fell back against the mattress, rolling his hips. "I want you...Now..."

Blushing, but unable to help it, Tsuzuki spread his legs wider, his own leaking cock flat against his stomach. He didn't know what had gotten into him and he was vaguely aware he was behaving shamelessly but at this moment he didn't care. All that matter was being taken by the man he loved and how right it all felt.

Muraki groaned at the beautiful sight. The demon inside him growling in approval as if to say:

Yes. At last...Our most beloved one...Our mate...

The silver blonde positioned the tip of his cock to the puckered opening. Not breaking his gaze, Muraki pushed the crown in, holding back. Although the brunette was desperate for it, he restrained himself from ramming full force especially for Tsuzuki's first time. That would come later. Now, the silver blonde paused, sweat running down his white skin, chest rising and falling. With one hand, he pushed down the brunette's knee for better penetration and pushed deep.

A sob then a cry ripped from Tsuzuki's throat.

It hurts!

Tears cascaded from the corner of his eyes, the pressure too much. He practically scrambled to get away. Muraki's fingers dug into his hips, stilling him.


Startled, Tsuzuki looked up, eyes blurred. He swiped the back of his hand over his tearing eyes.

"Asato," Muraki repeated, voice gentle, grimacing a bit. "It is painful, I know. But I will make it better...much better. Please trust me."

Tsuzuki hesitated for a fraction of a second, then nodded. "All right," he whispered. He winced, it felt like his guts were being ripped in two. How could it get better? But...Muraki said to trust him.

Taking a deep breath, the pain indeed lessening by a few degress, Tsuzuki closed his eyes.

"I'm ready."

Muraki couldn't help but smile. It was though the brunette was preparing for battle the way his face took on a determined look. But he knew his Tsuzuki was couragous. Taking a breath of his own, Muraki pushed forward, unable to keep the groan from coming forth.

Tsuzuki was so tight! Biting his lip, the silver blonde proceeded, massaging a supple ass cheek to try to distract the brunette. So wonderful! Constricted inner muscles squeezing his cock like a hot hand. Was Tsuzuki even aware that he was doing it? Muraki caught his breath as an intense ripple of pleasure radiating from his groin. Shutting his eyes the silver blonde's body shuddered, fingers gripping the brunette's hips for support.


Tsuzuki blinked up not understanding why Muraki stilled his movements.

"Kazutaka...?" he asked. The pain had diminished considerably and now he was ready for more. Muraki opened his eyes, the pupils dilating.

"Incredible," he gasped. "Asato...you have...no idea, do you?"

Ignoring the guardian's puzzled look, Muraki pushed further in. Tsuzuki fidgeted choking back a shout. So much! The pain coming back even more than before. But he would see this through. Muraki promised him pleasure, promised him it would be better. And then...

With a sudden push, Muraki was buried fully, the sound of naked skin slapping in the still room. Tsuzuki gasped sharply. The pain...has it? It has! It stopped! It completely stopped! There was that fullness, somewhat uncomfortable but it wasn't unbearable. In fact...

Experimenting, Tsuzuki gave a tentative shove of his own. What was that...? It tingled and it felt kind of...good. He tried again, his pelvis making a small bounce, hoping to touch whatever it was deep inside that sent that small shock.

Muraki, encouraged, happy to see the brunette instigating, took over and pulled out part ways only to thrust back in again hard.


Pleasure bloomed, that incredible friction. With a snap of his hips Muraki proceeded to set a steady rhythm, raking his nails over Tsuzuki's thighs. Droplets of sweat here and there pelted the brunette as his lover's body pistoned over him.

"Unnghhh..." Tsuzuki helped. Anything to keep this going, he would do. It was incredible...it was feeling...marvelous now! A bit of discomfort but that only served to enhance this experience. Muraki opened up Tsuzuki's flexible body wider pinning one knee on the mattress and speeded up the tempo, his pale buttocks flexing with each movement.

"Asato...you...you like this? Feels good now...?" he had to ask. It excited Muraki to see his dark-haired lover taking him all in, who was now keening with pleasure and straining against him.

"Yeah...ohhhhh...yeah..." Tsuzuki's hooded violets glazed over. "More...more..."

As his lover commands. With a grunt, Muraki did exactly that. Leaning over the writhing body, Muraki pierced his lover with short rapid thrusts, angling Tsuzuki's hips just so. Bowing his head, he hurried them both to that pinnacle, so close now. Tsuzuki cried out, shocks of electricty tripled. Something inside him was doing this, some pleasure spot Muraki was hitting again and again deep inside him was making him see stars. Frantic, mindless with lust, Tsuzuki kept up as best he could, racing toward that end. Reaching his arms out, he whimpered suddenly wanting his lover close. Muraki responded at once.

Hugging his lover tight, their sweating chests pressed, Muraki kept up the staccato pace, gritting his teeth and tumbled over that pinnacle. Being so close to the edge it didn't take long and soon both men shouted in unison, clinging to each other, their bodies convulsing.

Tsuzuki sobbed his release, his seed spilling over their stomachs, his lover's warm seed filling him. Wringing out the last tremors, Tsuzuki gripped his lovers shoulders then collapsed, feeling as though every bone in his body turned liquid.

Muraki rained kisses over his lover's flushed face; on his neck, cheeks, temple.

"Asato...Asato..." he whispered, his heart fit to bursting. "My love...my only love..."

For Muraki it had been nothing short of a...miracle. That was the only word he could use to describe this feeling of completeness and belonging. His past...his sorrow...oblierated in those estatic moments with this beautiful violet-eyed creature. He smiled, his soul soaring above, touching the deep blue sky...the wide expanse of universe.

Tsuzuki closed his eyes, catching his breath, receiving his lover's kisses and endearments. He couldn't speak...could barely put two words together. If he had any doubts before, any worries or fears or anxities about being with Muraki...all of that vanished into nothingness as though those concerns had never been. Tsuzuki, now, laying sweaty and spent and happy beyond anything he had ever known, knew with every fiber of his soul that he belonged with Muraki.

I am his and he is mine...

"Kazutaka..." he started, gazing into silvers with wonder. "I love you."

He wasn't too weary to say that.

Muraki reverently caressed his lover's cheek with the back of his fingers. "I love you, Asato."

Tsuzuki closed his eyes, exhaustion seeping into brain. Wanting to say so much more, how he felt, what this night meant, did Muraki enjoy it too...so much to discuss but feeling much too drowsy now...

"Sleep, Asato," Muraki gently coaxed, fingers brushing away strands of dark hair from the smooth forehead. He smiled as his lover struggled to keep his eyelids open. "Shhh. Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake. So sleep and have no fears."

Tsuzuki sighed and murmured something which the doctor couldn't quite catch.

"That's it, Asato. Sleep and we will meet in dreams...no fears for either of us...not anymore...beloved..."


Dark brows knitted at the word. Did he hear right? No. Such a precious word to bestow upon one who is dearly loved.


No. He was sure he imagined it...

When Tsuzuki awoke, the first thing he noticed was the softness underneath him...under his head, back, and buttocks. It was like laying on a billowy cloud. His bed didn't feel this comfortable or luxurious. Not by a long shot. Bit by bit things started to register. An ornate dark mahogony bedpost...a lamp topped with a light blue shade...curtains on a window made of a gauzy filmy material.

Then he noticed how his body ached; his back, thighs...as though he battled or did something strenuous...


Memories of what took place came rushing back. Quickly, he turned his head to the other side. And there...


Silver hair tangled, a face too beautiful for words in repose, bare muscular chest breathing with regularity.

Tsuzuki stared. All the love he felt for the man overflowed. So much so tears sprang forth. Tsuzuki passed a hand over his eyes, a little chagrined at himself for being so emotional. And yet he couldn't help it. He harbored no regrets, no misgivings. None. How could he? He came to Muraki of his own free will and of his own free will he would accept anything that came as a result of it.

Because I love him

Turning to his side, bed clothes rustling, the brunette gazed at his lover.

My lover

Tsuzuki smiled. He vaugley noticed that it was somewhat semi-dark, dawn not making its way for a few hours yet. That was fine. It gave Tsuzuki an opportunity to study the man. Violets darted here and there. Then he focused on the shape of Muraki's deep-set eyes, silver brows arched and slender, delicate lashes of silver and black; long straight aristocratic nose; strong cheekbones; lips that were neither too thick or too thin, the bottom one a plump cushion...each feature strong by itself. Put together...well, it was enough to make Tsuzuki's heart flutter and groin ache.

And the urge to touch propelled Tsuzuki to stretch a hand out. Scooting closer he did just that. With the tip of his finger he traced that bottom lip from corner to corner, fascinated. Soft and pillowy...

Muraki took in a deep breath, startling the brunette. The doctor slowly opened his eyes. When focused on Tsuzuki, Muraki's face lit up. Smiling widely, he ensnared Tsuzuki in his arms.

"Asato..." he whispered huskily. Before Tsuzuki could reply, the silver blonde kissed him warmly in greeting. Pulling back, Muraki eyes searched his lover's face. "How are you? Do you feel sore?"

"Oh, a little," Tsuzuki answered. "Actually, I feel...pretty...great," he gave a cheeky grin.

Laughing, Muraki brushed back chestnut hair from the guardian's blushing face. "I am glad to hear that. And for the record, I, too, feel great."

Each caught the other's eye. The silver blonde's hand moved against his lover's nape.

"No regrets, Asato?" he had to ask. He wanted to be sure Tsuzuki hadn't changed his mind about him, hadn't realized that everything had been a horrible mistake. But if Tsuzuki said he was feeling great...

"None," Tsuzuki said firmly, shaking his head. "No regrets. I love you, Kazutaka. I couldn't be more sure of that. Last night proved to me...well, that you care and that you love me too."

"I do," Muraki said emphatically. "With all my heart. Last night changed so much for me as well, beloved."

Tsuzuki stilled. A faint recollection of Muraki saying that word to him just as he was falling asleep.

He hadn't imagined it.

"Beloved?" he whispered. "Why...why do you call me that?"

Muraki cupped his lover's cheek.

"That is what you are to me, Asato," he answered with sincerity and with no hesitation. "My dear and most beloved one."

It was a lovely endearment, precious and heartfelt. And that Muraki treasured Tsuzuki above all else to call him such touched the brunette more than he could say. Tears glimmered on the edge about to spill over. Noticing this, Muraki kissed his forehead.

"Beloved. Now, now, there is no need for tears, ne? I only speak the truth," he smiled hearing his lover sniffle.

Too adorable!

"I...I know. And *sniff* I'm not crying!" Tsuzuki exclaimed which earned another chuckle. "I'm just...happy you think that of me."

Muraki brushed an errant tear away and brought the sheet up to snug Tsuzuki in better.

"I do. And I always will. Now, it will be several hours yet until morning. Are you hungry?" he asked. "I could have something delivered or perhaps something from the kitchen?"

"I'm fine, Kazutaka," Tsuzuki assured. He watched as Muraki waved a hand to light a small candle situated on the nightstand. A soft glow warmed the room.

"Beloved...when did you know...that you loved me?" Muraki asked. It something that he had wondered ever since Tsuzuki had said the words. Now that he knew that Tsuzuki desired him for quite a while he was curious as to when that turned to love.

Dark brows furrowed in thought.

"Well, it's not as though I knew all of sudden," Tsuzuki explained. The silver blonde reached for his hand, interlacing their fingers. "I think I was fascinated with you the first time I met you," He blushed. "Standing in that church..."

Muraki nodded. "I see. I took your breath away," he stated, his tone serious.

Tsuzuki grinned at the way he put it. "Yeah...you did." Violets shone at the memory.

"But you also frustrated and infuriated me too. It wasn't love at first sight but...I couldn't stop thinking about you. I thought about you more than I thought about anybody ever. Yeah, you were fascinating. But you were also insufferable and arrogant and presumptious..."

Muraki quirked a brow.

"Even though I had to do my job and bring you to justice...I couldn't help but wonder about you as a person. Why you did the things you did...and I couldn't help but feel...we were somewhat the same..."

"Did you?" Muraki brushed back dark bangs to better see those amethysts.

"Yeah. Like I wondered if you lived with anyone and if you did, who. I remember one time I followed you from the hospital..."

Muraki's brows shot up. "You did? When was this?"

"A week or so after we battled at Sapporo. Curiosity got the better of me so I decided I'd follow you and see where you went, who you met up with. I kept telling myself it was for the sake of the investigation, that I would report what I found out. But I didn't tell anyone at the Bureau. Not Tatsumi or Watari...not even Hisoka, my partner."

The silver blonde was astonished. He had no idea Tsuzuki held any interest in him. So much so that he followed him from work. All this time he assumed it wasn't until after the Kyoto incident was he able to approach Tsuzuki on a personal level.

"So I snuck some of Watari's cloaking potion and staked out the hospital. It was a little before midnight when you came out," Tsuzuki continued. "And you walked home. I was surprised you didn't drive. I stayed some distance away but...I noticed that you didn't linger or look around. You didn't meet anyone or stop off anywhere..."

Muraki nodded, remembering that as well. He sighed then started when he felt Tsuzuki's hand on his cheek.


"I followed you down a sakura pathway. There was hardly any people, two or three, if that. I remember how cold it was, the wind biting into my skin and how glad I was I wore my heavier coat. And...and I hoped you had a heavy coat on too..."

Muraki trembled. He brought his hand up to his cheek to squeeze Tsuzuki's hand.

"I couldn't understand why I was so concerned about whether or not you had on a warm coat! I was confused but I just dismissed it and continued to trail you...And then... you stopped walking," violets shimmered. "You were a little off the path and just stood next to a sakura tree and...I waited. I thought you were going to meet someone but...no one came. Nothing happened..."

Muraki closed his eyes, sighing deeply.

He remembered.

It was a night like any other. A lone walk home from work. Another night to plan what his next move would be against the Shinigami. But more than anything Tsuzuki would have been uppermost in his thoughts. Ways to hurt and torment the guardian. But when he allowed his thoughts to truly wander and go beneath the thick rage...he would have been thinking of Tsuzuki as a man. Not a Shinigami or an enemy that must be defeated or a tool to be used toward his revenge...but merely as a man he was deeply attracted to. A man he wanted to know more about.

"Beloved..." Muraki started, telling Tsuzuki of what his mind set was back then.

"Really, Kazutaka?" The brunette's violets widened. With Muraki's nod, Tsuzuki continued his narrative.

"I followed you a few more times then. I didn't tell anyone. Not even to this day. I knew I was going against regulations but I didn't care. And that day...after calling down Touda..."

Muraki turned his head to give a fierce kiss against his lover's palm. Tsuzuki gave a sad smile.

"After that I...I don't remember too much. My friends were around me, tending to me. My mind drifted...I didn't want to think about anything. I wanted to forget. And yet...I dreamed of you...your face in my dreams. And...I...I wasn't afraid. I let myself think of you and...it gave me peace somehow. I didn't think it too strange that I would be thinking of you when I felt I had lost everything. And I couldn't help but wonder what...what happened to you...if you had...died. I didn't want that. In spite of everything that happened between us...I hoped with all my heart that you didn't die..."

"Asato," Muraki pulled Tsuzuki into a fierce hug. Salty tears rolled down his pale cheeks. What his lover confessed moved him like nothing else. To think that Tsuzuki cared for him despite all the suffering he had inflicted on the guardian...it was too much.

Tsuzuki hugged his lover hard. He hadn't confessed that to anyone. Not Hisoka or even Watari. At the time it too shameful to reveal that he harbored tender feelings for the evil doctor. But by telling Muraki now drew the two closer together.

"I knew I loved you when you came to me and declared you put your past behind. That you wanted no more revenge...you sought me out knowing the risk of your being killed just to tell me that you were a different man. No one believed you. I was afraid to...but...my heart hoped. And my heart fell in love..."

Muraki couldn't take it. He just didn't deserve this man. Burying his face against his lover's neck, shoulders shaking, he wept.

Tsuzuki held tight to his lover, his own eyes brimming over. After several minutes, when the last of tremors subsided, in Muraki's hand was a tailored handkerchief which he used for his eyes and face. He procured a clean one for Tsuzuki.

"I...I am sorry, Asato..." Muraki started but was taken aback when the brunette protested.

"No! Don't be sorry, Kazutaka! Don't be sorry about showing your feelings to me," Tsuzuki passed a hand over his eyes. "We should be able to now that...now that we're lovers."

Muraki smiled. "Yes, beloved. You are right, of course. Being with you, I do feel I can tell you anything," he sighed. "To know that you cared about me even then, even when I caused you so much torment..."

The brunette hushed his lover on that point by kissing him. It was much too deep a subject to delve into just now. Later, they would. But for right now, Tsuzuki wanted to focus on their happiness. Muraki responded, returning and delighting in it. His hands stroking his lover's naked back, one hand caressing the nape of his neck. Tsuzuki groaned.

"Tomorrow morning..." Muraki whispered, his lips nibbling at a smooth cheeck. "You will pack your clothes, belongings and whatever else you wish to take and bring them here. And then we will have a little homecoming party to celebrate your new living arrangments. How does that sound?"

Tsuzuki swallowed. "My home."

Silver eyes glimmered. "Yes, beloved. Your home. If you wish, that is," he held his breath.

Crazy. It was ridiculous he knew, but he had a wild crazy notion - even though the brunette agreed - that Tsuzuki had changed his mind about the whole thing. Much to his relief and happiness, the brunette's violets brightened.

"Yeah, I wish that," Tsuzuki confirmed. His mind worked over what he owned and realized with a pang that he didn't possess that much. He was about to remark that but gave a sharp gasp instead.

Muraki had heaved himself on top of Tsuzuki, silver eyes gazing at the guardian with a mixture of amusement, love, and lust.

"What else do you wish, beloved?" he asked as he lowered his naked body, touching skin to skin. They both sighed. Tsuzuki gripped his lover's shoulders, his cock coming to life. The brunette tried hard to focus on the question posed.

"T-to live...live with you...and...and..." he gulped, face growing hot. A breathy moan escaped his lips when Muraki shifted his body down a couple of inches causing delicious friction.

"Yes. But...there must be...something else...you want...beloved..." Muraki insisted, his own breath hitching. He nibbled Tsuzuki's neck, making his way down to a copper nipple. Capturing it, he lapped and suckled delighting in his lover's whimpers.

"Ohhhh..." Tsuzuki's tangled his fingers in silver hair. "I...I want you to..." Tossing his dark head, he let out another loud moan as his lover's tongued his way across to the other nipple giving it the same lusty attention.

What was he going to ask? His brain was short-circuiting something terrible. And then it hit him. What he wanted, what he longed for. But how to declare it?

"What, beloved? Hmmm?" Muraki questioned between licks. His hands stroked warm olive-toned skin, marveling at the silkiness of it. "Tell me...please. I want to...make you happy..."

"You do!" Tsuzuki exclaimed, startling them both.

Bringing up Tsuzuki's hand, Muraki kissed the slim knuckles. "Everything I do is an expression of my love for you, Asato. The last thing I want is for you to be fearful of me. Given the past I understand your hesitation-"

"It isn't that! I trust you, Kazutaka!" Tsuzuki insisted, vehemently. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't!"

Muraki smiled.

"I'm just...shy!" Tsuzuki felt his face heat up. So much so that it wouldn't surprise him if he burst into flames. "I've never...I mean...I've never been or done...and to ask for..." He groaned in shame, laying his arm across his eyes.


"I love you, Asato."

Tsuzuki stilled.

"I love you, Asato Tsuzuki. And because I love you, I would never mock or shame or humilate you when we are together like this or any other time. Never. I give you my word. So ask anything of me, beloved..."

Tsuzuki removed his arm, violets blinking up and staring into a face so serious, he had no reason to doubt the doctor's declaration.

"Kazutaka..." Tsuzuki gave a sunny smile, his heart throbbing with renewed adoration. "Thank you..."

Muraki leaned in for a kiss, a symbol of his promise to the guardian. Pulling away, he continued what he had started and began kissing and nibbling the smooth chest, lapping at the goosebumps popping up. Encouraged by Tsuzuki's moans, Muraki savored the young man's delectable flesh, even giving a bite here and there as he made his way downward, from nipples to ribcage to bellybutton.

Tsuzuki's legs splayed of their own accord, his whole body squirming.

"Kazutaka..." Tsuzuki's voice strained. "I want you...to...to..." Blushing to the roots of his hair, Tsuzuki was determined. Shyness be damned. "Kiss me and...and...suck me...please..."

Muraki closed his eyes, shivers resonated throughout his body at the request, lust spiking tenfold. He wrapped his fingers around the root of the slender cock, anchoring it. Through half-hooded eyes, the doctor licked his lips, quivering in anticipation.

"Kazutaka...please..." Tsuzuki moaned again, impatience and trepidation and embarrasment all rolled into one but so excited that his lover was giving him what he wanted.

He's going to do it! I always wondered what it would feel like...a lover to kiss me there...suck me...and now it's actually going to...going to...

"Asato," the silver blonde's husky voice startling Tsuzuki a bit. "I love you. It has always been you. It will always BE you..."

Before the guardian could reply, a gasp tore at his throat. Muraki's hot mouth enveloped his shaft, tongue and lips working feverishly.

Nothing could have prepared Tsuzuki for this. Everything he had been told and heard and read didn't compare one iota to the act itself. How can one put into words the feel of having hot wet suction on the most intimate part of you? There were no words as far as the brunette was concerned. His brain was too muddled for words right now. All there was was sensation...just bliss and pleasure and...heaven.

Tsuzuki tossed his head from side to side on the pillows, whimpering with helpless abandon. Clamping a hand over mouth, he stifled a cry at a particularly hard suck lest he lose himself completely and scream the house down.

But Muraki noticed and discouraged his lover. Running his tongue up the pulsing shaft, he nibbled tenderly at the sticky crown, lips glistening from his lover's juices.

"I want...to hear you...Asato," he groaned, lapping up the steady stream of precum from the cockhead. "Don't hold...anything...back."

Taking Tsuzuki's sex with both hands, Muraki swallowed it down, relishing taste and texture, the weight of it against his tongue and feasting to his heart's content, more than anything happy at hearing his lover's wails.

For Muraki it was a dream come true. Tsuzuki at his most vulnerable, trusting him completely now. How many days and nights he wished for this, he couldn't say. Now, he was making the most of it. He discovered how unique Tsuzuki's juices tasted. The briny/sweet combination teasing his taste buds making him eager for more. Dipping his head lower, he licked a plump testicle then pulled into his hot mouth, rolling it around.


"Ka-kazutaka..*pant*...please...I'm...gonna...oh god...*pant*...uuunnnggghhhh...!"

Tsuzuki bucked his sweating body, groaning when his lover's fingers dug into his buttocks in an effort to still him. Babbling, sobbing, Tsuzuki was a mass of nerve endings all sparking to greater heights of pleasure. His lover greedy mouth seemed to want to devour him whole and he didn't care. All that matter was reaching that end.

The silver blonde didn't relinquish in that regard, didn't slow down or show any mercy. He merely worked his tongue and lips over every inch of hot flesh. Tsuzuki wasn't going to last long, he knew. And hearing the way his lover screamed his name like that...Muraki wasn't going to last either. Making up his mind, he doubled his efforts. He sealed Tsuzuki's cockhead with his mouth, using two hands to pump and pull and squeeze the pulsing shaft.


Back arching, Tsuzuki gave a violent shudder. Thrashing his body this way and that, his climax ripping him apart. Muraki held on, continuing his assault, continuing to keep a tight seal to better drink down the spurts of rich essence his lover was pumping out.

He had been right. Tsuzuki tasted delicious, unique. He made a mental note to drink much of it in the future...

Lifting his head, Muraki's white chest heaved. Eyes at half-mast and glazed, he took in the sight of his lover, sweaty and flushed on the mattress, cock limp and spent between glistening thighs. Dark hair stuck out here and there, long legs splayed...Tsuzuki never looking more beautiful and desireable.

Licking his lips, Muraki prepared himself, palming his own thick cock, his heart speeding.

"Asato..." he groaned, begging. He was so hard, so light-headed with lust. "Please..."

Tsuzuki answered by holding out his arms. Muraki went into the circle of them, tears stinging behind his eyes. The brunette encouraged by holding himself in position, ready to receive.

"I love you, Kazutaka," he whispered. "Take me now..."

Tears spilled forth. A passionate kiss. Then...

His body relaxed from his climax, Tsuzuki's passage opened readily. There was a brush of pain but not like before. Tsuzuki clung on as Muraki took his pleasure, receiving each forceful thrust with happiness, that he was making his lover happy now. Muraki stiffened above him.

"Asato..." A plea through gritted teeth.

A few more violent thrusts and a warm gush coated Tsuzuki's insides, bonding them once again. Muraki's full weight pressed against his small lover, as the silver blonde's body collasped, boneless.


Muraki instantly rolled to his side, apologetic as he kissed his lover's temple and cheek. Despite his tiredness, the silver blonde tended to Tsuzuki, cleansing him with a warm wash cloth.

Tsuzuki smiled as his lover did so, even biting back a laugh when he thought how convienent magic was at times like this!

Once done, Muraki set about pulling up the covers and pulling Tsuzuki's warm body to him. Tsuzuki sighed, wrapping his arms around his lover's waist, contemplating and drowsy. They caught each other's eye and smiled.

There were still a couple of hours before daybreak. The sky morphing into a greyish blue; birds awakening, a scattered chirping here and there. Tsuzuki relished this feeling, snuggling closer to his lover's strong body. Yawning, eyelids drooping closed, he lifted his head and murmured something in Muraki's ear before sleep took over completely.

Silver eyes glossed over. Muraki murmured his reply in his lover's ear, then buried his face in fragrant dark hair, meeting Tsuzuki in dreams.

Plum-colored eyes looked around the large room. It was in the bright light of morning that he could better see the ornate yet tasteful furnishings decorated throughout the bedroom.

He was going to live here. This was his bedroom.


THEIR bedroom. Their kitchen, their garden, their bath...their home. A home on earth.

But it was more than that.


Rolling onto his side, he brushed back silver bangs from his lover's sleeping face. This house, though lovely and immense and expensive, wasn't the reason for this feeling of contentement and security and peacefullness.

Tsuzuki shook his head.

Even if Muraki wasn't a wealthy doctor and lived in a one-room apartment and was barely scraping by, Tsuzuki would still have these strong feelings that were based solely on one simple truth.

I am in love with Muraki Kazutaka.

And that meant everything.

The doctor sighed deeply, a sign that he was coming back to the waking world...back to Tsuzuki. The guardian watched as silvers blinked into awareness.

Soon diamond eyes focused on Tsuzuki, the beautiful face alighting into a breathtaking smile.

Tsuzuki grinned back, leaning in to greet his lover with a kiss and embrace.

I'm home.


A/N: OMG! I did it! I finished it! Many, many apologies for letting this go and taking waaaay too much time updating this. I cannot believe it took a month shy of a year to finish are no excuses. All I can give is explanations. My laptop went kaput; I had to scrimp and save to get a new one; I misplaced the flashdrive that I save my stories on...but, it doesn't matter. There aren't enough explanations.

Thanks to everyone who stuck by this one and wanted to see this conclude. I sure as hell didn't want to be one of those writers who do not finish their stories, thus, leaving readers upset. Nope. Not me. So, yeah, it took almost a year and I know some readers were put off and frustrated...but I did it! I promise never to let that happen again. You can rest assured that when I post something, it'll be seen through to the end AND not take a decade to update!

Plus, Muraki was pretty pissed at me for leaving him hanging like that. And Tsuzuki wasn't too happy either. But they've agreed to give me another chance. And so entrusted, I carry on.

*Bows* Until next time!