LS7: Hey what'd you know? Another chapter! Say hi to the lovely people Kratos!
Kratos: *Eating a leg of lamb* Hn…
LS7: Hehe! Well enjoy my friends. Oh! And thanks everyone for reviewing! You all are the wing beneath my-
Kratos: She loves you all! Now move along!
LS7:…Read the first chapter to see if I own the rights to God of War! (I don't own any thing else mentioned in this chapter!)
Scene 14: "New Weapons Make The Man?"
*Scene begins with the usual. Dead bodies, blood, and other tragedies! Other then that, it was a lovely day to take a walk. Kratos was doing just that when he spotted a familiar guy who looked to be-*
Kratos: Hey! Paul! How are you!
Paul: Um… my lord Kratos? My name isn't-
*Kratos suddenly turns bigger with glowing red eyes and what looks to be an ominous glow of fire behind him…*
Kratos: *In a Booming voice* Y-Y-Y-YOUR NAME IS PAUL! DO NOT QUESTION IT!
Kratos: That's better! Now Paul, why have you interrupted me in my joy time of walking pass the dead soldiers? Hmm?
Paul: B-But I didn't!
Kratos: *Insert the Kratos glare of death… it comes in a variety of looks: Trendy, Sexy, and Angry!*
Paul: Forg-g-give me!
Kratos: Whatever! Now why have you come in my "joy time?"
Paul: Well, my lord! I've come with a special gift for you and it's made with the finest-
Kratos: *Sees a pretty bird and follows it with eyes, completely ignoring Paul and his boring lecture!*
Paul: So you see my lord, uh? My lord?
Kratos: Such a pretty bird… I wanna kill it!
Paul: So my lord?
Kratos: Oh look, you're still here… Joy! So why are you here again? And please remember, that depending on your answer, I can send you to Hades-
*Within the depths of the underworld*
Hades: YAY! More dead soldiers!
*Okay back to your regularly scheduled program!*
Kratos: Or I can make you wish you were in Hades. No pressure!
Paul: Um… well….
*At this point and time Kratos is polishing his weapons. Smirking the whole way through.*
Kratos: So Paul, how would you like to die? A stab wound to the heart or shall it be nice, and slow? A personal favorite of mine!
Paul: I came to give you a Spartan weapon!
Kratos: Keep talking…*Still giving his blades that extra shine and sharpness*
Paul: It's a shield and spear. It befits your greatness my Lord Kratos.
Kratos: Well, that's very nice of you. But why would I need another weapon when I have my blades of chaos? Chaos is nice!
Paul: Well…this weapon will make you more popular!
Kratos: Nah… I'm the &^%^&^ Ghost of Sparta. *Tries to find that bird so he can kill it with glee*
Paul: Uh? Well, it will make you more appealing?
*Kratos stops in his search for the poor innocent bird that felt an ominous presence and flew off somewhere. Kratos turns to look at a trembling Paul as he walks slowly towards him. That dark aura is surrounding the bald man*
Kratos: Hold on Paul… Did you say I'm bald?
Narrator: What the hell? Get back to work!
Kratos: I ain't your slave!
Narrator: Whatever! And yeah I said you're bald! I don't see any hair on you!
Kratos: Whatever! Go away pixie!
Narrator:…*Disappears with a pop of magic*
Kratos: Anyway, now Paul. Sweet, naïve, Paul.
Paul: *Suddenly sees his life flashing before his eyes* Oh my god my life was crappy!
Kratos: Who cares, I'm the main hero! So you have a weapon that makes me more appealing? Hm… I'm already sexy, but this can make me more appealing! PAUL!
Paul: I was here the whole time my lord.
Kratos: Don't get cute! Give me the weapon!
Paul: I don't have the weapon with me…
*You know that feeling of repetition? Yeah, that dark aura is back*
Kratos: You don't have the WEAPON! What kind of devoted servant of me are you! See this is why I don't work with amateurs!
Paul: I'll go get it for you right away!*Paul leaves before Kratos speaks…that and he had to use the bathroom badly*
Kratos:… I guess I can walk around. *A dark, and scary looking building is dead ahead. Kratos in all of his curiosity looks over at it*
Kratos: Hmm… what a dark and scary looking building! I think I'll go and take a look!
*Guess whose back? Suddenly the clouds part and a familiar theme are heard in the area*
Kratos: DON'T COME DOWN HERE OLD MAN! NO ONE WANTS YOU RIGHT NOW!
*The clouds go back the way they did before and suddenly it starts raining*
Kratos: Punk! DON'T START CRYING! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CRY!
*To add insult to injury, it rains even harder and a booming noise is heard*
Kratos:… Whatever old man! Where the hell is-
Paul: I'm back my lord!*Starts waving frantically*
Kratos: *Cringes* Paul, where are my weapons?
Paul: Here they are! *Kratos snatches the weapons with a grinch like smirk*
Kratos: Whoa momma! This spear is huge! And you know what they say about big shields and spears? Huh? Huh?
Kratos: Get out of my sight!
Paul: Uh? Yes my lord! *Paul leaves as he goes and bothers yet another soldier. Of course this soldier didn't like Paul so he ate him. Kratos watched with boredom.
Kratos: Yeah… Now I'm bored again. Hmm… maybe I should try and fight something with this spear and shield. Of course, with my moves, I won't need these!
*Moments later…in an random place*
Kratos: Whoa! Momma! This spear kick the blades of Chaos ass!
Kratos: Oh! You're here too… Yeah! This big shield and big spear are very cool! And their big! I like big!
Athena: Who cares! Shouldn't go and save Deimos?
Athena: *Glares at Kratos who actually cringes*
Kratos: I have to perfect my glares!
Athena: GO AND SAVE YOUR BROTHER YOU MORON!
Kratos: But I'm just not feeling today… can't I save him tomorrow or next Tuesday?
Kratos: What's wrong with you? PMS, the old man ignoring you again?
*At this point and time, Athena really wants to kill Kratos, but like every man, woman, and child that come across him, they can't do it due to his secret weapon…sex appeal. It's very dangerous in the wrong hands… hence the reason Kratos hates Hermes! He doesn't deserve that power!*
Kratos: Of course, you wouldn't understand why I like this big spear, and big shield. It's okay though…
Athena: Yet again, WHO CARES!
Kratos: Who cares! I care, you not a dude so of course you wouldn't understand… well I would love to stay here and have this little chat over lamb and chicken with wine, but I got to go save my nerd of a brother Lumos!
Athena: IT'S DEIMOS!
Kratos: Eh? Close enough… it rhymes. Well got to go fight some dead people with these bad boys! Bye!*Kratos walks off in his bad boy way, big shield and spear close at hand. Athena although on a statue right now, has this sensation to bang her head against the wall… it seems tempting but she'll do it later…*
Athena: I hate that man with so much passion!
Kratos: *Fom some random place where dead legion hang out and play black jack waiting to be killed…* No you don't! You love me and my bad assed ways!
*Scene ends with dead legions, an euphoric Kratos,(For one main reason) an ignored Zeus; and Athena who feels like killing herself*
Hades: What about me?
Narrator: What about you! The scene is over!
Hades: But what about my dead soldier?
Narrator: Here! *Gives him Paul who was still alive…Surprisingly!*
Hades: YAY!*Goes back to the underworld*
*Scene ends(Truly), with Hades being happy, Paul, not so much and a narrator who is looking in the classified section of the newspaper.*
LS7: Hm… that was good!
Kratos: Hmm? That's all you can say?
LS7: Yeah… I'm sort of feeling the Aster with this!
Kratos: Stop with the Young Justice quotes!
LS7: Kratos is just feeling whelmed!
LS7: Review guys!