Thanks for reading and reviewing! See, reviews = more updates. Here's another chapter. I really like this one, and I wrote it this morning, so please excuse potential spelling/typos. I just wanted to post it as soon as I finished it. Don't forget to review and tell me what you thought of it!
Oh, and what should 'S' stand for?
A/N : HP is not mine, c'mon.
R for Rules
Who the fuck are they to judge me? I'm Rose, Rose, and I don't want to be just any other Weasley. Don't they know that? Why do they keep staring at me, staring at me like I'm some sort of freak? I've only been sorted in Slytherin and suddenly I've become a stain on the otherwise flawless family portrait. After all these years, the only one who really understood me was an old patched hat. I'm unconventional and I truly don't care. I won't abide by their rules. I won't abide by any rule expect the ones I choose to follow – oh and the ones of Hogwarts, but it's just because I don't want to get expelled and sent back home where no one understands me. Oh, sure, they love me. But sometimes that's just not enough. My life begins here, and I intend to make it fantastic, ecstatic and like no one else's. Thank you so much, Sorting Hat.
I've always known I was different. I've always known it since I was a child. Teachers used to look at me suspiciously, and I didn't have friends, all the others kids seemed to be scared of me. Some of them clearly hated me as well, and I had no idea why. Sometimes I'd get beaten up, and when I'd go home and tell my dad to come with me at school and talk to the other parents about the problem, he'd shake his head with resignation. So, after being beaten up a couple times, I began to fight back, because no one but me seemed willing to stand up and defend me. And after another couple fights, the mean kids gave it up and I was left alone again. It's only a few years later, when I read a history book my father had tried to hide from me on the highest shelf of the library, that I understood that I was different because my name was Malfoy. They hated me because that's how it was supposed to be, because it was the rule. And nobody seemed to care that my first name was Scorpius, and that I wasn't just any other Malfoy.
Somehow it didn't surprise me that Scorpius Malfoy became my first – and soon, best – friend at Hogwarts. My parents were horrified when they found out about our friendship and my dad stopped writing me for weeks, but I really didn't give a tiny Blasting-Ended Skrewt's arse. Scorpius was the most interesting person I had ever met. Unlike me, he had suffered – there was a shadow in his grey eyes that always tore my heart apart – and unlike me, he came from an infamous family. But we were both Slytherins, and we had both suffered from the rules, and when we sat next to each other at the table that first night, it happened. We looked at each other and something like an electric shock moved me to my core. I knew that despite our different appearances, the shy platinum-blond boy sitting next to me was the closest thing to a soulmate I had ever encountered. And it turned out he definitely was. We understood each other perfectly without even speaking. And from the moment we introduced ourselves, we became friends and absolutely inseparable.
Rose is the best thing that ever happened to me. A long time ago, I had resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my life. I couldn't imagine having a friend, not even in my wildest daydreams. I didn't think I didn't deserve one, I just knew no one would ever want to be my friend because no one wanted to break the rule saying you don't get too friendly with the son of an ex-Death Eater. But Rose didn't care about rules, and that was the first thing that I remember thinking about her. She was fun, and smart, and full of life. She had the ability to enjoy every minute of the day, every tiny beautiful or happy moment she had. The first months being her friend felt like waking up from a torpor I didn't know I was in. I learnt more about the world with her than with everything I had seen or read or heard before. She brought out the best of me – I owed her my newly acquired curiosity, my humour, my sense of adventure. Rose was a genuine rebel: she always questioned the rules – Hogwarts's, her parents', politicians' rules – not because she liked contradicting everything, but because she wanted to know why such rules were designed and why they were for. If she found out they were stupid, she wouldn't follow them. She wouldn't let anyone insult her intelligence and I admired her for that.
Spending time – nearly all my time, to be exact – with Scorpius made me change. But in a very good way. I felt peaceful when he was around. He progressively cured me from my restlessness. I still hated to be ordered around, to be imposed with mindless rules, and I certainly set a record of detentions in my first years that would have made Uncle George proud. But his patience, his calm manners, his way of speaking his mind after carefully thinking about what he had to say taught me to be more humble and mature. He helped me grow out of the state of permanent rebellion I was in when I first arrived at Hogwarts. He made me grow up along with him and it felt incredibly good and natural and I admired him for that.
Then one morning something horribly wrong happened and I knew I had broken a rule that was now beyond repair. I was reading a book, confortably seated on the huge leather armchair closest to the fire, when Rose walked down the stairs of the girls' dormitories. It was a very sunny morning and the white winter sun illuminated the common room despite its being half underground. The light formed sort of a halo around her red-brown hair and her every feature shone with peaceful happiness when she acknowledge my presence. She smiled at me and it happened. It felt as if my heart had skipped a beat. Her beauty stroke me so hard I was surprised I could still manage to return her smile. How come I hadn't noticed it before? She was perfect, in every possible way. She walked up to me and casually sat next to me on the armchair. It was big, but not big enough for the both of us to sit comfortably. Her arm pressed against mine and the feel of her naked skin against my shirt made me tremble. What was wrong with me? We had been close like this before! It didn't mean anything, we were best friends! But I still couldn't look her in the eye as she told me about her plans for the day, her voice full of the enthusiasm I loved. After that, she got up, playfully ruffled my hair with her hand - another shiver down my spine, though she'd done this before - and left for breakfast. I was left alone, devastated that I had broken the most sacred rule of friendship without even intending to: never fall in love with your best friend.
Sometime in our sixth year Scorpius started acting weird around me. He became more distant, started spending time with other people and I often caught him laughing loudly and boasting about Quidditch things around other girls. It made me desperately sad and I understood that despite my constant rule-breaking, there was one rule that I never wanted to change: the rule that said Scorpius and I are inseparable soulmates. I tried to reconnect with him but he wouldn't even look me in the eye, as if he'd done something wrong and was ashamed to tell me. But he could tell me anything and I'd still be his friend, didn't he know this? It hurt me so much. I already knew I couldn't live without him, but I never thought the day would come when I'd actually experience it. I was so depressed I eventually wrote my mum a letter about it. I was desperate for any kind of advice. She answered me very quickly, and her letter suggested me to confront him and tell him straight what his behaviour was doing to me. My mum added that it may not work, because boys hate the 'we have to talk' conversations, but Scorpius was probably different because he was my friend. After reading the letter, I decided I needed to act right now, because I couldn't stand another minte of this uncertainty. I went to look for Scorpius and I was ready to confront him.
I was sitting alone by the lake, daydreaming about how the April sun would play with Rose's hair if she was lying on the grass next to me. I hated myself for acting like a complete jerk around her lately. But I was afraid being too close to her would make me do or say something stupid that would ruin our friendship. But I knew my attitude would eventually ruin our friendship as well, and I didn't know what to do. So I just sat there, probably waiting for my problem to be magically solved, when I heard her voice calling me. I turned around, my face probably too alight with expectation, but instead of throwing herself in my arms and telling me she loved me too just like in my daydream, she started yelling at me. She told me everything, the way my behaviour hurt her a little more everyday, the fact that she couldn't understand what she did to push me away, the rule she wanted to keep safe, our friendship rule, because she couldn't imagine not having me in her life anymore. She thought maybe I was so used to her I wanted to discover something new now. Her eyes were full of tears but she wouldn't spill them in front of anyone, not even me, I knew it and I loved her for it. My brave, passionate Rose. She deserved the truth - how could have not tell her the truth before? I took her in my arms and she let me cradle her until her breathing slowed down. 'Rose.' I murmured in her hair. 'My problem is... I'm in love with you.'
Somehow it didn't surprise me when I kissed Scorpius Malfoy. I even wondered how I could have been so blind as to hide my own feelings from myself. He told me he loved me and suddenly everything was so clear I wanted to laugh and jump around. I was in love with him too. I'd probably been in love with him since the day we met. I threw my head back a little to look at him and his perfection hit me, tore my heart into pieces. We smiled at each other, suddenly shy. 'I love you too,' I said in a breath, and then I kissed him. It was our first kiss ever, and deep down I knew I'd never wanted my first kiss from anyone else but him. So I guess we really are rule-breakers to our core. We had only one rule left unbroken, the tacit rule of friendship, and we broke it as soon as we could. But can you blame us? We are so made for each other.