Chapter 1


"Yes! It's Halloween Erica!" I shrieked, running down the halls throwing candy corn all over the floor. Halloween had always been our favorite holiday. Since everyday was like Halloween for us, we really didn't have to dress-up, but tonight, was the Halloween dance at our school, so we bought our costumes yesterday.

"Well duh Kristina. Did you just figure that one out?" Erica's voice sounded from behind me, I jumped when I saw her face. Her skin was pale and covered in fake blood and bruises. Well of course she'd look like that, she was going as an abused bride. I didn't really approve of it, but Erica didn't know I was abused for 8 years, so I guess it was fine. She looked amazing though, just like she always did.

"No, I did not just figure that out, I'm not retarded. And by the way… You look like you just got hit in the face with a candlestick!" I laughed, being completely honest.

Erica was bomb at doing makeup and hair. It was really quite amazing since she had lived on the streets for a while. She had taught herself how to do a lot of things.

"Really? Why thank you. That's exactly what I was aiming for." Erica smiled and walked back in her room. I followed after her to see my costume laid out on her bed. "Oh, I made some adjustments to your costume if you don't mind… Well actually, it's too late to mind. But go get it on, it's hella rad." I nodded as Erica finished speaking, walked over to her bed, picked up my costume, and got behind her changing wall. I had to hide, Erica couldn't see the scars and bruises on my body. She could never know about my past.


The adjustments I had made were going to make Kristina's head spin. I taught myself a load of stuff when I lived on the streets, and I was actually, surprisingly good. I made my own clothes and everything. But thinking about those days was really bringing my mood down, so I finished my makeup, tweaked my hair here and there until it looked perfect. Well not perfect, but just how I wanted it. I heard Kristina clear her throat, assuming she was done, I turned around to face her. At the very sight of her, my hairspray can noisily crashed on the floor. I couldn't speak, her beauty was… breath taking. I always thought Kristina was gorgeous, because she is, but there was something about the dress that made it stand out more. Perhaps it was the blinding rainbow colors that meshed perfectly together. They fit her wonderfully.

"Kristina… You look so gorgeous." I whispered, just loud enough for her to hear.

"Oh yeah right, I am far from gorgeous." She said, turning around to see herself in the mirror. She gasped at her own reflection, her blue eyes wide with shock. I knew, for the first time in years, she knew she was beautiful.


This had been the first time I couldn't stop staring at my own reflection. I thought I was beautiful, oh there's a new one. Something about this dress… I don't know what, but it made me feel like a different person. All the pain from my past was faint in my mind, the thousands of bruises and scars on my body no longer ached, nor did my brain thrash in a horrible headache. That feeling soon vanished as I looked up, away from my own reflection, only to see Bill on the wall. The aches were back, and another piece of my heart broke. I loved that man, for some time now, and it hurt so much to even look at his face anymore.

"Krissy, what's wrong?" Erica asked, her footsteps right behind me.

"Nothing, it's nothing. E? Can you do my makeup? I'm not as skilled as you. There's a list of how I want it in my room on my nightstand." She stared at me with concern, but left the room anyways. I let out a deep sigh, looking up at Bill again. I didn't know how much longer I could hide my depression from Erica. She was my best friend, and she deserved to know. But I just couldn't find the strength to tell her. No one knew, not anyone. Quite frankly, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I needed someone I could tell, and I needed them soon. I needed them now.


"Tom, Tom god dammit, where are we going?!" I yelled to my twin as he drove his car like a student driver, jerking the wheel on every turn.

"Tom if you crash this car, I will seriously kill you!" I roared, trying to make him slow down. I really didn't want to die because my brother is such a wreck less driver. And tonight was Halloween, no dying on holidays for me. No sir.

"Chill out Bill, I'm not going to crash. I know how to drive." Tom replied, stepping on the gas. The force slammed me against my seat with a thud.

"You could at least slow down a little bit, and tell me where we're going!" And at that, he brought the car to an abrupt stop. I felt as if my organs would all fly out of my body. I coughed then spoke,

"Where are we?" The surroundings past the window were not familiar at all. All I saw was what looked to be a high school. There was tons of teenagers walking into the doors. Not dressed normally, I would say, but what do I know about normal? This was most likely a Halloween event or something. My muscles tensed. Oh god no, this was not why Tom had bought us costumes. Please no. I hated school dances, even if it wasn't my school. I graduated last year and I did not want to go back. Not now, not ever.

"Welcome to Bliss Mount High, my dear brother!" Tom announced. I turned to him, clenching my teeth and narrowing my eyes.

"Tom, I am not going in there."

"Why not? You're aloud too, I already called the school yesterday. Gustav told me about it 'cause he was talking about his step-sister going to some dance. It's perfect to find a girl… Or two for me." He laughed, adjusting his mask.

"That's why you got us costumes with masks, so no one would recognize us?" I questioned him, checking mine in the rear view mirror. It was a masquerade mask I assumed, looked rather… Masquerady. The whole costume did actually. I don't really want to explain it, not too pretty. But I doubt I'd get some girls… No, probably guys. Unlike Tom, who would have teenage girls flocking around him.

"Yes, that is why I chose costumes with masks. Very good little brother. Now get out of the car. Your life… may just change tonight."


"Finished! Have a look at yourself!" Erica squealed. I shook my head and picked up the mirror. Damn, Erica was so good at makeup, she got everything I wanted on my face. The mini stars and hearts, the rainbows shooting from the corners of my eyes, neon green lashes, every little thing. Right on time too, it was 8:30, and the dance was at 8:35.

"Thanks E. It looks perfect, but we gotta go. We have 5 minutes to get to the dance." She nodded and slipped on her tattered heels, grabbed her keys off her bed and was out the door before I could say another word. I forced a smile, and put on my green heels. Taking one last look at Erica's Bill poster, I slipped through the door and firmly shut it. Erica was waiting by the front door with an eager look on her face.

"You ready?" She asked, her hand already on the brass doorknob.

"Yes, yes. I'm ready, let's go." I tried my best to act excited, and she fell for it. I sighed and followed her out the door. We got ourselves strapped into the car, making sure we had everything.

"Let's go!" Erica yelped with joy as she turned the keys in the ignition. Music instantly filled the silence, and I knew right away who it was. Tokio Hotel. We were both in love with them. Erica was obsessed with Tom, and I with Bill. We had been fans ever since we met each other, when I was 15 and Erica was 16. Yet we haven't seen them in concert, nor met them. We just couldn't afford to. We were both singing along to Dogs Unleashed when we reached the school. Erica searched for a parking spot, and she gasped when she saw one behind a big Escalade. Picking up the speed of her car, she made it to the spot before some mini-van did.

"Oh my god! E! Look we parked behind some biatch who has Tom's car!" I laughed, waiting for her reaction.

"Oh, we gonna kill that hoe! Let's track 'em down right now!"

"Erica, I want to go to the dance first." She sighed but said okay. We both got out of the car and some people stopped walking and stared at us, their mouths hanging open. I stared back at them with question and pulled Erica with me as I walked towards the school.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked her, but she shrugged.

"Wait! Maybe we look really hot?!" You know, sometimes I wish she just couldn't talk.

"Shut up E. Now everyone is staring at us."

"Yeah, 'cause we're really hot." She giggled as she hopped up the school building steps. I followed after her taking two steps at a time. Trying not to fall, I finally reached her.

"Okay E, let's dance!"


Okay, I was really expecting some hot girls here but they were all just… Boring and plain. Not one had caught my eye yet. And usually I'd just pick anyone really, but nope. Not a single girl was attractive to me. It was freaking me out. To distract myself, I looked over at Bill who was about ready to pass out.

"Hey Bill? See anyone you like?" He shook his head.

"No, not one. They're all kind of…"

"Boring, I know." Finishing each others sentences was something we've done our whole lives, so it no longer got us mad at each other.

"Yeah, boring." Bill yawned, stretching his arms above his head.

"I'm sure there's more girls coming. The dance just started not to long ago." I just said that to bring Bill's spirits up. I knew how much he wanted to find love. I knew how depressed he was. No matter how much he tried to hide it, no matter how happy he pretended to be, he couldn't hide the truth from me. I could tell when my twin was down and he's been down for about 2 years. I just wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to find that one girl who could make his heart stop, who could make his breath get caught in his throat. That one girl who would love him for who he was, and nothing he wasn't. And of course, that one girl who would spend the rest of her life with him, no matter what. Yeah, Bill isn't the only sweet twin, I can be too.


"Tom, I don't think anyone else is coming." I said, nearly yelling over the blasting music.

"Well, we haven't really gotten up and looked around. Come on." Tom said, standing up, starting to walk into the crowd of people. I shot out of my chair and walked after him before he disappeared.

"Tom, we are soo going to lose each other in this sea of people." He didn't reply, he just kept on walking and pushing through the teenagers. Ugh, he probably saw a girl he liked or something. He'd always ignore me when he saw someone. I continued to follow after him, making the mistake of looking down for a split second like the idiot I am. I slammed into Tom and fell backwards on my ass. I shook my head to gain my sight again, and pushed myself off the ground.

"Tom?" I said, poking his shoulder. He wasn't moving, nope, he was standing there, frozen in place, and I had no idea why. His eyes were wide, and he was staring right in front of him, mouth hanging open and all. I decided the best way to figure out what he was looking at was to look where he was, duh. When I did, the beauty I saw was so blinding, that I felt myself loose feeling in my body, and then everything went black.


"Uh… Is he okay?" I asked the guy who was still standing, but he didn't reply. He was staring blank faced at Erica and I could tell it was freaking her out. One eyebrow was raised in confusion as she moved her head side to side. His eyes followed her every move, and now I was getting freaked out. It was rather strange, I mean here was two guys in masks that we didn't even know. One had fainted and the other was hypnotized or something. But when I heard his voice, I nearly died. German accent… Deep voice… Oh, that equals the one and only Tom Kaulitz.

"Hallo." He spoke, still looking directly at Erica, I could tell she had recognized his voice as well. Her mouth nearly on the floor as he took his mask off, revealing his gorgeous face. I too, had nearly fainted when I saw it was really him.

"Tom? What happened?" Another voice sounded. Right as he spoke I knew who it was. I could never mistake that voice for anyone else's. The voice of an angel. I turned to see the one and only Bill Kaulitz standing right in front of me. His mask off, and his face full of confusion, but when he looked down at me, the confusion left his eyes and he spoke these words,

"You… You're the reason I fainted. You are the most gorgeous person I have ever seen, is it okay to say I love you?" And now, it was my turn to faint.


"She's dead, she's dead…" I whispered over and over again to myself. It had been three days, and I haven't left this room. Kristina had a concussion, a really bad one at that. I mean, of course she had fainted when Bill asked her if it was alright to say he loved her, but she hit her head really bad. But I have to admit, it was pretty ironic that she got put in room 483 at the hospital, that I had to laugh at. Not really, of course I wasn't laughing. Only crying, just like Bill. Yeah, Bill was here. He hadn't left either. I was a fan so I knew he believed in love at first sight so obviously it had happened to him when he saw Kristina. He was always at her bedside, holding her hand. We actually got quite close these days in the hospital together, I had gotten close with all the guys. Tom, Gustav, and Georg were here too. Tom always stared at me, I didn't mind of course, but if he found me attractive, I don't know why he didn't tell me. A guy like him normally isn't scared to tell a girl he liked them. But whatever, even if he did find me hot we wouldn't last long. That's just the kind of guy he is, but there was a little part of me that believed he felt different about me. But the chances were one in a million.


I just couldn't stop staring at Erica, I had never felt this way about anyone. I never thought anyone was gorgeous or beautiful, I only had girls that were sexy or hot. This was so strange for me. I know I had just met her, but I knew her pretty well already. She loved animals, she was 18, she had taught herself how to play guitar, she lived with Kristina. All together, she was completely amazing. I had other things to worry about though. Bill was a wreck, never left Kristina's bedside, he'd been crying non-stop for 3 days. I felt so bad for him. When we were alone, the way he talked about that girl was just… Indescribable. Sure, he doesn't really know her, but damn, he was in love with her. And from what Erica had said about her, she was the perfect match for Bill. Practically a girl version of him, just what he had been looking for. I told him that dance would change his life. He finally found his perfect match… I just hope she wakes up.


No, no, no, no. That was the only word going through my mind. I had just found this girl, it was love at first sight, I could feel it. And Erica told me that Kristina was in love with me, ever since she was 15. She explained every single detail. I know a lot of fans love me… but the love Erica described was… Beautiful and pure. Completely true. This girl loved me for me, nothing more. And her love was all I wanted right now. I wanted to hold her in my arms, safe from harm. I wanted to kiss her oh so inviting lips, but all I could do right now, was hold her ice cold hand that was drenched with my tears. That's all I could do these past three days, and it was torture not being able to hold her close.


All I could do, was hear. I couldn't feel my body. Nothing. I felt dead. But obviously from the words I've heard, I just had a really bad concussion. And the thing I heard, the thing that never stopped… was the sound of Bill crying. I wanted so badly to wake up and hug him tight, but I couldn't. I couldn't do a single thing. Hearing wasn't enough for me, but at least I no longer felt the pain of my broken heart, no longer had a thrashing headache, no longer felt the aches of my scars and bruises. I couldn't feel anything, and it was wonderful. But hearing Bill's sobs was hurting me so much. Hearing the words he spoke, the words everyone spoke. Explaining me to Bill. Apparently, he loved me… Which I highly doubt. What's there to love? If Erica knew the whole truth about me, I'd know he wouldn't love me. And if I ever wake up, he will know, and he'll no longer love me. Then I heard Bill's voice again.

"Kristina, I know you probably can't hear me… but the others are gone, and I wanted to tell you something." He stopped talking, and I just wanted to say okay for him to continue speaking. He did anyways, without my confirmation.

"I'm in love with you Kristina… And if you don't wake up… I'm not sure what I'll do. I know I haven't officially met you… But I think you're more amazing than anything. I just hope you'll wake up… I need you to wake up, I want to know you for real… and no matter what, I'll love you… Just please… you can't leave, I mean, you haven't even arrived yet." His words were killing me. I couldn't do anything, nothing. If I could speak, I'm not even sure what I'd say anyways. And that's when I felt something on my hand. I felt something! I could feel again. The object tightened around my hand, it was Bill's hand! But I still couldn't move anything. The feeling

in everything had returned, but I couldn't move. I tried and tried, when finally my pinky twitched. Then my whole hand tightened around his. His gasp filled the silence. "Kristina?" He whispered loudly between sobs. I tried to utter a sound, tried to open my eyes, but those were two things I still couldn't do. Then, a sliver of light came into view but was soon blocked by something.

"Kristina, love?" Bill whispered, and I felt his hot breath on my face, that's when my eyes snapped open.

"Yes, Bill. I'm here." I whispered back. His tear stained face filled my view, and I couldn't help but smile when his lips pressed against mine, I felt him smile as well. Then he pulled away.

"I love you…" He sobbed.

"I love you too, Bill. And I won't leave you. I swear and I promise. But do you promise not to leave me? No matter what I tell you about myself?" I asked Bill. I laid there, his hand still in mine, awaiting his answer.