Okay so This WILL continue and I put it as mature because if I get enough reviews I will make the next part which is the sex scene between Tali and Shepard. Tell me what you think about Shepard being gental vs. The rough guy he;s always set as. Thanks for READING! REIVEW AND FAVOR MEEEE
It was cold in the engine room. Cold and quiet. I was used this, and usually it didn't bother me, but today it made me feel so……empty. Images were passing through my mind, only staying put for a fraction of time before jumping to the next thought. I had read the same engine data quanta's over and over for days now. Time was stuck in a sort of shuffle. Fast moving objects around a slow moving me. My mind was racing faster then the world around me.
His face was the most prominent thought that plagued my head. Commander Alexander Shepard, leader of the Normandy, and savior of the universe for the second time now. Her stomach turned nervously as she thought of his face. Deep blue eyes set into his pale and often pained expressions. So strong in his stance and words. He would be home today. Funny how I now thought of the Vas Normandy as my home; that had never been heard of in the Quarian culture. Before, it was more like a campsite on my long road of Pilgrimage...but now? I couldn't imagine being anywhere else…
He had given me a whole week to be alone with myself and think….
"Commander I…I calibrated the thermal flares that were emanating from the front chamber of the uh…engine and I found that the front—I mean the rear—I'm sorry that's not right either…I just—" My face was burning under my ventilation mask and I thanked Keelah that he couldn't see me blush. I was so weak compared to him. I was tripping violently over my words as I stared down at my data pad, trying to find something to distract myself with. I could feel my heart trying to escape my chest as he stepped even closer to me.
"Tali…" I heard him chuckle as he lifted my face to meet his gaze. I felt the data pad slip from my fingers. "You know, if I didn't know you better I would think that I make you nervous," commented Shepard, smiling gently at me. Though his gaze was as kind as his voice, there was a hint of fire in them as he spoke. Passion perhaps? For…me? No.
"Nervous? How would you know? You can't see my face but…yes…I suppose you're correct. I can't seem to…function with you this close." Shepard put an arm around me and pulled me closer.
"So then just being this close makes you quiet? Stops all that silly rambling. Would it be too forward to say that I enjoy your discomfort ever so slightly? I think it's…sweet," he murmured into my shoulder. I used all my strength to push away from him gently.
"Alex—I mean! Commander—"
"Alex is perfect," he sighed, annoyed slightly by my formality. He closed his eyes and breathed me in, sending a shiver down my spine.
"A-Alex then…I've been thinking about the last time we talked…I'm sorry. I was unprofessional, and I wasn't thinking rationally…I was being stupid and selfish." I could feel myself getting embarrassed at voicing these thoughts. Shepard scoffed at this, but pulled back from me even more, letting only his hands rest on my waist.
"You've never been selfish. If anything you've spent too much time thinking of the Fleet and not enough thinking of yourself," he replied harshly. I was a bit taken aback at the possesivenes that had crept into his voice. Had he thought of my well being much in his free time?
"Well, I suppose that's true for humans, but Quarians are different. We can't just follow our hea—well I mean…We have to think about other people. Always. If we don't think about the needs of the whole crew, people could get hurt…Maybe even killed." I pulled myself closer to the Commander instinctively as I mentioned death. His death had hit me with such force that for a while I didn't know what I was going to do with myself without him. I finally took comfort in the fact that eventually I would find him again when my time was up. I so yearned for that day that my friends began to worry about me. Back then I was just coming to grips with how I felt about him. And when I first realized it, he was being torn from my arms for what I thought was forever. Not even father could comfort me then.
I pulled myself away from him to cross the room. His arms reached for me as I walked away, falling gently to his side as his patient smile continued. I must seem so young and folly to him.
"You deserve to…be happy with someone. You've done so much for this crew and for the universe! Being with me would be…difficult…maybe even impossible. You ought to have someone who can give you all of themselves with no effort. I can't do that. No matter how much I………I could get sick. Jeopardize the mission for when the Reapers are ready to attack…" This was it. I knew that this would be the moment when he saw the truth in what I said and backed down. He must know that being with me was not as worth it as he wanted to think. I was only a Quarian. I could never compare to Liara's beauty, Miranda's grace, Kelly's caring eyes, or Jack's…lustful need. I had to brace myself for the inevitable.
To my surprise he laughed softly once more, "Since you seem to know what I want better then me, then how about you tell me what I desire?" I was taken aback once more. I wasn't expecting this. He didn't even seemed phased by what I had said.
"Love? Family? Children…I couldn't…I mean I'm unable to give you…" He strode over to me with a few harsh steps.
"You couldn't give me love? Tali, listen to me. If I'm pushing you in a direction that you don't want to pursue…I would never force you to do anything. I understand that you wouldn't want to be with me because I'm human. You don't have to explain yourself to me." He began to walk backwards from me with worry scrolled across his face. It was my turn to put my arms around him as I pulled myself the closest I could to him with this suit as a barrier.
"No! L-Love is not a problem. Neither is your race. I've thought about this, don't doubt that for a second. Seeing you with Ashley was the hardest thing I have faced in my lifetime…well…besides your death. That's not what I meant! I'm just not…what you deserve to have. You could have…so much more…"
"Who says I want anything else?" he sighed, pulling me tightly into him. I pushed my hands against his hard chest to look into his face. His eyes opened to meet me halfway.
"Well you could have any of the females on this ship. I've seen the way Miranda looks at you. The way she…wants you. I've heard Jack offer you sex. I've read Kelly's messages to your terminal. So…tender! Any of those relationships would be so much simpler then me. You could have any of them with a—oh! What is the expression you humans use? With a clap of your hands?" I paused, trying to remember the section of human expressions in my "Human Culture" Textbook from the Fleet library.
"It's actually a snap of your fingers but close. And as for Miranda, I have no interest in her though it's true that she has expressed interest in me. Even when I was with Ashley…something was always off. We were never…in sync with one another. Not like I feel with you. Like I fit near you. Like I would take a bullet for you. I would die for you even—"
"Please! Don't talk about your death. It is so…sad for me to think of such tragedies…" I gasped.
"I'm sorry. Tali…if you're scared I don't blame you. But I don't want anyone else. I want you. And I'll do whatever I have to, to make this work," Alex promised, letting his sincerity coat every word he spoke. My heart stopped completely as he said this. He…wanted me? The thought seemed outrageous.
I hesitated, "I..I wouldn't blame you if…if you wanted to change your mind to them along the way even and—"
"If you weren't wearing that mask I would kiss you right now to both quiet your ridiculous delirium and to prove myself to you." He kissed the top of my helmet to prove his point.
"I'm sorry I just…but…Oh. Thank you. You don't know how much that…Thank you. Maybe if you just give me a little time. I'll do some research and figure out how to make this work…" I wanted to desperately to spring from my suit and kiss him right then. I felt my lips tingle in anticipation for the feeling of his on mine.
"Take all the time you need. I have to do some assignments on Omega but when I get back you'll be the first one I visit. We'll talk then…"
The crackle of the announcement speakers broke me from my thoughts. Joker's voice took command over the quiet space. "All hands to their station, prepare for departure from Omega. The Commanding officer has returned to the Normandy. All hail Commander Shepard! The hero returns!" I could just imagine the Commander rolling his eyes at that as he fought the urge to hit him. We all had to fight that urge every once in a while. "Sorry Commander, I guess I just missed you."
"Joker better be careful or one day he'll lose a few teeth from Alex…" I chuckled, picking the data pad up off the desk. I jumped as I felt two thick and warm arms snake around my waste.
"Alex? Hmm…I like that you're finally using my name informally. It's a nice touch." I felt Shepard put his head on top of my helmet sighing contently. "You know, it's nice having someone to come home too. Before it was just duty pulling me back here. Now it seems to be you. I like that too…"