Obviously I don't own Star Wars. If I did than I'd throw out a huge chunk of the EU and have it rewritten. :)

I decided that it was time to write another short oneshot.

Please review, that's all I ask.


I wake to pain.

What is left of body protests to the position I slept in and what is left of my legs will protest the moment I stand.

Each breath is agony.

Almost every movement brings pain and what movements that don't bring pain dredge up memories of what once was.

Sleep is the only place that is somewhat free of physical pain. And sometimes it is free of emotional pain as well.

Some days I wonder if all this pain is worth what I have gained.

I have gained nothing I didn't already have; if anything I have lost what I loved the most: my family.

I helped destroy the Jedi Order so that my wife would live and in a fit of rage I killed her and our unborn child.

I dueled with my former Jedi Master who was like my father, older brother and my best friend all rolled in one. He cut off my remaining arm and my legs, watched as I caught on fire than walked away.

At one time I contemplated ending my existence. But it would be the coward's way. Besides death would mean that my suffering would end and I do not wish for my suffering to end, yet.

Maybe one day I will chose to die. Whether on the field of battle against a worthy opponent (I kill all I have crossed so far) or just cannot go another step because my body is too weak to continue.

The Jedi would have told me to release all of my pain into the Force.

The pain lets me know that I am alive, in a sense, it reminds me to be more careful when fighting my opponents.

The pain is my punishment.

And there nothing that can force me to let go of my self loathing.