Title: Time of the Month
Word Count: 3988
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King nor the characters.
Summary: It's THIS time of the month and there is no Midol in Funbari Onsen… Will Yoh (and the rest of gang) survive? Anime-based. One-shot.
A/N I feel more confident with drama/angst genre and hardly ever wander into humor one, I hope you'll have a laugh or two reading this story, but don't expect much. I'm not good with humor. I've marked it as humorous 'cause this story is supposed to be light and pleasant to read. I don't remember reading anything like this, so I hope you'll enjoy it.
And many thanks to those that reviewed Possessive, it means a lot. Next part will be by the end of this week. :)
And now, onto the story!
"YOH!" a loud, angry, voice called.
The brown haired boy looked up surprised from his comic book. The hard edge in the voice still rezoning around the Funbari Inn promised nothing else but slow, painful death.
It's only nine in the morning, what did I do now? He wailed inside his head, getting up clumsily. Better hurry up and answer or else-
The sojo door opened forcefully revealing the personification of the death herself. The Asakura Boy gulped loudly, sweat appearing on his face, his whole life playing before his eyes. I'm too young to die! Was his last thought as the person before him started walking inside.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
Farewell cruel word! He thought inwardly then gulped once more.
Ow, man. This is going to hurt…
"Time of the month"
The day was a beautiful and sunny one. Birds were chirping happily on the trees and fluffy clouds moved lazily on the blue sky. Everyone enjoyed the warm and cheerful atmosphere of the summer day.
Everyone that is, unless they lived at Funbari Onsen.
"Aahhh! Anna-sama! Please!" could be heard in the street where the said house was situated. "I'll keep them closed in my room, they won't bother you anymore!"
Whack. Whack. Thud.
"They'd better, Tamao!" an icy reply came, followed by the sound of sojo doors being closed forcefully.
It was a hard day for the occupants of the Funbari Onsen. Anna was not in the mood today, meaning everyone who lived there walked around as if on eggshells, doing everything in their power to not tickle the sleeping dragon.
"Hey, Yoh!" The brown haired boy looked up from his position. Right now he was doing push-ups in the rock garden, a part of Anna's training.
"Oh, hello, HoroHoro."
"I heard Anna yelling this morning. What the hell happened now?" the blue haired Ainu asked his friend. He and his sister came to spent a few weeks with Yoh and Anna this summer, after hearing that Ren was spending his here as well. All of them were waiting for the Shaman Fights to resume, and decided that waiting is far more bearable when done together.
"Yeah, I think the whole neighborhood had heard her." Ren added, coming from the direction the hot spring was situated. He looked refreshed.
"She was just irritated more than usual today." Yoh said, never stopping his exercises.
"More than usual?" HoroHoro asked.
"You'd better watch out, though." Yoh warned, ignoring HoroHoro's question. "It's worse today."
"Worse?! Is it even possible?" HoroHoro exclaimed once more.
"I bet it's your fault!" Ren said to HoroHoro. "She's always angrier whenever she sees you, not that I blame her…"
"What?! What do you mean by that?!"
"You are loud and behave as a pig. It could drive anyone crazy." Ren shrugged his shoulders. HoroHoro growled.
"I do not!"
"You do! I wonder how Pirika is able to live with you."
"Leave Pirika out of this. You'd better stay away from her, you Chinese hair-failure!"
"What?!" Ren roared, his hair growing up. "And you are an-"
"Enough!" HoroHoro and Ren jumped a few inches off of the ground at the loud shout.
In front of the house stood Anna. She was obviously trying to maintain control by taking deep breaths, but you could almost see the steam coming out of her ears.
"Great Spirits!! You two are the most infantile, immature, juvenile little boys that I have ever had the misfortune to meet! Every day it's the same damn thing over and over again!" she yelled at them. Ren and HoroHoro stood around speechless, rooted to the ground, their faces pale.
"Yoh." The brown haired boy stiffened, a sweat braking on his face. "Get back to work. Now!" she yelled and the young shaman resumed his training vigorously. "You, Ainu-boy, get with the groceries!" she said, presenting a long list, then pointed at Ren. "And you, clean the hot spring!"
"What?! Why me?" they whined simultaneously.
"You live here, you work for it!" she snapped, shooting them a withering glare. They fought the urge to roll into a little ball under her hard look; she was definitely the Alpha female right now. Actually she was always the Alpha female…
She turned and went inside the house
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp…
"Whoa." HoroHoro whispered in awe.
"No kidding. Must be that time of month," Ren said, still looking at house, where Anna disappeared seconds before.
"Yeah, that was a bit crazy. We guys gotta stick together…" HoroHoro replied, turning towards Ren. All of a sudden, his eyes widened as he realized to whom he was talking to. "Ah! But that doesn't mean it's over with our argument!" he yelled.
"Er, yeah, screw you too!" Ren added.
"You'd better hurry up with the assignments in case Anna gets back." Yoh huffed, never braking the rhythm of his exercises. The other boys looked at him, then nodded. Ren ran toward the hot spring and HoroHoro toward the exit.
Yoh was right, better hurry up with those assignments – no need to tempt fate…
"Yoh-dono!" a cheerful voice called.
"Ah, Amidamaru." Yoh said from his squatted position. He was in the middle of another training session, courtesy to Anna.
"An additional training?" Amidamaru asked his young Master.
"Yeah." Yoh said, panting heavily and continued with his squats.
"But why? Did you-"
The ghost and his Master jumped startled by the loud scream, then looked back at the house where the loud shout came from. Then it was followed by something sounding suspiciously like whacking.
"Yoh-dono…" Amidamaru asked tentatively, a sudden suspicion forging in his head. "Um, is it… is it this time of the month?" he asked.
"Seems like it."
A cold feeling, suspiciously similar to fear, sipped into the Samurai Ghost and he gulped. "Really?" he asked in a strangled voice "I think-"
He stopped as Bason flew toward them from the Onsen, green pallor on his face as if he saw some horrendous massacre.
"Master Yoh!" he wailed. "Bocchama…"
"Bason!" Amidamaru interrupted him suddenly, frantically. "I think we have a meeting planned for today! Don't you think?" he asked the other ghost furtively.
The Chinese Warrior looked at the Samurai as if he had two heads. "A meeting?"
"Yes! An emergency meeting. At the furthest graveyard!" Amidamaru said, blinking at him fiercely. The two of them stared at each other, the Chinese Warrior in puzzlement, while the Samurai tried to convey his thought s to him.
"Ah, that meeting!" Bason seemed to finally catch the meaning. "I know, I know! We'd better hurry or we'll be late!" he said.
"Yeah, keep strong, Yoh-dono!" The Samurai ghost chirped with forced cheerfulness. "We might not be back until the week ends." He added then both ghosts disappeared, leaving Yoh alone in the rock garden.
Yoh just sweat-dropped. Shouldn't those two be courageous and honorable warriors? Ha! They run away like chickens!
Suddenly he shivered. He felt as if a set of eyes was burring a hole in his back. He turned tentatively and yelped at the sight of Anna's furious face. He continued with his exercised vigorously, praying she won't feel like adding anything else to his training.
He thought about Amidamaru and Bason and sighed inwardly. On the other hand, he didn't blame that much those two for running away…
The morning went by smoothly so far. Everyone worked on their assigned job around the Onsen, while the epitome of Law and Order in the House was sitting in the TV room watching her favorite soap opera. Tamao was cleaning the corridor outside and humming slightly to herself. Her two guardian ghosts were nowhere to be seen.
"I'm home!" a voice yelled form the door. "And I brought company!"
"HoroHoro-kun!" Tamao hissed, making Manta, who has come with him, blink. "You know you shouldn't shout. Anna-sama is watching her soap operas!"
"Is something wrong with Anna-san?" Manta asked.
"There is always something wrong with Anna…" HoroHoro said complaining. "Especially during this time of the month."
"Oh." Manta blushed.
Tamao on the other hand glowered, her cheeks red. "That was rude!" she said at HoroHoro. "You are very insensitive!" she huffed at the Ainu boy, then realized what she has said. "Um, I-I mean, I'm-m sorry!" she squeaked, flushing heavily.
"No need to apologize, Tamao. What you said is true." A cold voice from the right said.
"Eck!" The three people jumped, startled.
The blond Itako looked at HoroHoro disgustedly. "Take the groceries to the kitchen, Ainu-boy." She said icily.
"Hey!" he yelled and Anna's eye twitched. HoroHoro squeaked in fear recoiling. "I'm going, I'm going!" he said and hurried to the kitchen.
"Hello, Manta." Anna said, her voice suspiciously sweet. "Since you came here, maybe you could prepare lunch for Yoh when he gets back from his training"
Manta sweatdropped. Why did he bother to come here anyway? Anna always made them do some work around the Onsen.
"-was just too much."
"Yeah, Anna-sama is simply too scary."
Manta and Tamao looked with wide eyes to the corner where the voices were coming from, then shivered and turned to the right. They gulped at the evil energy coming in waves toward them from the blond Itako.
"I know what you mean! And now it's even crazier than usually!" Manta and Tamao took a step away from Anna, sweat breaking on their bodies. Boy they did not envied those two!
"It's because it's this time of the month and everyone knows how she gets then." A pregnant pause followed as the two people, or should I say ghosts appeared before the three of them, a surprised look on their faces.
"Ah! Run for your life!" Tamao squeaked, scrambling backwards. "Anna-sama is going to kill everyone in the 1 km radius!"
Yoh heard loud whacking sounds coming from the house where he was doing his crunches in the stone garden. He shook his head as Ponchi and Konchi shot out from the house, both heavily beaten and bloody, whimpering in their run.
Anna appeared in the doorway and Yoh paled at the sight of her.
"If I ever see your disgusting faces here once more I'm going to revive you and kill you all over again!" she yelled. Then turned and walked inside. "What are you still doing here?! Get back to work right now!" could be heard from the house, followed by someone hurrying away.
Yoh just continued with his training.
"Do you mind?!" the lunch in the Funbari Onsen went by in a strangely quiet and tense atmosphere, thus everyone's eyes fixed on Anna. And as quickly as they traveled to her, they turned away in fear. The blond Itako was simply glowering and no one wanted to be at the receiving end of her angry glare. "Can't you chew any louder?!" She hissed angrily "Pigs!"
No one answered, taking this question as a rhetorical one. Finally when nothing bad happened. They sighed. Simultaneously.
"What the-?!" Anna hissed once more, making everyone tense. "What's the matter with you?! Sighing and whining like a bunch of four years old kids! Can't you behave your age?!" She stood up and walked forcefully to the sink, putting away her dish. "You can't even eat a dish in peace in this house!" She huffed then left the kitchen with angry strides.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp…
Everyone sighed once more.
"Phew, that was close." Manta stated.
"Tell me about it! She's simply too scary." HoroHoro agreed, wiping his forehead
"Please, you two are scared of a woman!" Ren said dismissingly. He got up and walked to the fridge to take his customary bottle of milk. He closed the fridge door and turned.
"Eeeck!" He yelped (in a rather womanly fashion, mind you) when his face stopped mere centimeter before Anna's. Everyone stopped what they were doing and blinked. Some snickering followed, then everyone flinched as Anna walked past Ren. They controlled their breathing measures and prayed for their lives.
Anna just went to the left cupboard took a bottle of pills and left the kitchen not paying any attention to anyone.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp…
They sighed in relief once more.
By now every occupant of the Inn was aware of the dangerous situation in the house. And each one hoped for a miracle to survive the next few days…
"Danna!" a cheerful cry came from the doors as Bokuto no Ryu walked inside the Onsen.
HoroHoro and Ren looked at each other in the cupboard where they were currently hiding, trying to keep quiet, less they would be discovered.
"He doesn't know that he walked into the Lioness's Liar, does he?" Ren whispered.
"Aye, Aye" HoroHoro nodded. A pause.
"Poor Guy" they said simultaneously.
They watched with sympathy as a slim figure appeared before the tall man.
"AHHH!" Ryu recoiled from the blond girl before him as if it was the scariest monster in the whole world. Which to some it actually was…
"What are you screaming about?!" Tokageroh appeared beside his Master. Then turned his eyes to where Ryu's terrified were fixed.
"AHHH!" he shouted, flying backwards as far as possible. He gulped. "Ah, Ryu! Um, I gotta go, I think- I think Amidamaru – yes! -Amidamaru wanted to meet or something, Bye!" he said quickly and disappeared. Ryu blinked. Anna just raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, her left foot tapping.
"A-Anna-Okami?" Ryu asked tentatively, focusing on the intimidating Blonde before him. "C-can I help you?"
"Yes." Her voice was cold and emotionless. "Bring me those." She presented him something that looked suspiciously like a shopping list.
"Do you think she is making him…?" HoroHoro whispered looking from the cupboard at the pair before him.
"I bet she is!" Ren nodded his head. "Thank Kami, it's not us."
"Aye, Aye." HoroHoro agreed. Both of them watched as Ryu's face paled.
"B-but, Anna-Okami…" he protested weakly. "These are- these are-"
"I know what those are!" she shot back at him, her left eye twitching. "I've written this list myself!"
"But I-I can't buy-"
"You can. And you will." She said coldly. "And hurry up. Or else…"
"Iie, iie! I'm going I'm going" he screamed and launched at the doors leaving instantly the list in his hands.
"Ah, poor Ryu..." HoroHoro said. Unfortunately too loudly.
"BAKA! Now she's heard us!" Ren punched HoroHoro's head.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
"No..." they gulped as the cupboard doors were opened forcefully revealing a very angry Itako.
"Okay, I can do this. I can do this." Ryu stood in front of the store, a look of determination on his face, the shopping list in his right hand. "Anna-Okami wanted them and thus I must bring them!" Ryu said trying to gain some courage.
He stood before the store, looking at it with a lot of trepidation. No real man would do such a thing… But the prospect of a very painful death at the hands of Anna could bring a lesser man to do this… So, Ryu took a deep breath and started-
No, I can't do it! He wailed. He has been standing there for the past ten minutes taking steps toward and backwards the doors of the shop. And people began to stare.
"Ryu-san!" He heard Muscle Punch call him and yelped surprised. No, they can't see me here! He panicked not sure where to hide, finally making the decision.
He dashed inside the store and sighed in relief. He turned around relieved only to be met with a risen eyebrow of a very old, Victorian looking lady standing behind the counter. He stiffened, feeling shaky and uneasy, and walked toward her.
"What can I do for you, lad?" the woman asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Ah…well… um…" he stammered turning a very interesting shade of red, his eyes looking everywhere but at the old lady. Then he blurted embarrassed "A box of tampons and a bottle of Midol, please."
"Here you go, Anna-Okami." Ryu said as he gave her the parcel he was holding in his hands.
"Did you bought everything I wanted?" she asked him.
She walked away and Ryu sighed praying no one will ever find out about this shopping adventure…
Yoh went upstairs after his usual 50 km run around the neighborhood, his thoughts already on the cold shower he's planning to take in a few minutes. He was about to open his doors to his room to take some clothes when a strange noise caught his attention. He stopped, straining his ears. Surely, it couldn't be…
He took the few tentative steps toward Anna's room and stopped before the slightly ajar doors. And yet…
He opened the sojo door fully and entered quietly, his heart clenching at the sight before him. Anna, who has not heard him yet, was lying on her futon in a fetal position, hugging her pillow. She was whimpering softly as she tried to bury her face in it, tears streaming down her face.
Yoh walked toward her involuntarily and fell to his knees beside her. It was then that Anna noticed his presence in her room. She turned quickly, her eyes wide as she found herself face to face with her fiancé.
"What are you doing here?" she said, looking away quickly, her voice unusually shaky and small. She tried to wipe the tears from her face with her hands hastily. "I did not invited you here!" she snapped.
"I heard you crying." He stated simply, feeling lost at what he could do to her. Anna never cried. "Why are you crying, Anna?" he asked finally.
"I'm not!" she denied her eyes fierce. Then she winced obviously in pain. Yoh's eyes widened. He has never seen Anna in pain either and he wished he never would.
"What-? Why are you hurting?" he asked her, his right hand coming toward her involuntary.
"Why do you think, genius?" Anna shot back sarcastically. "My period has begun and there isn't a simple painkiller left in the house!" she said, a rebellious tear running down her face and she wiped it away angrily.
"Does it… does it always hurt?" Yoh asked tentatively. It must have been a hell of a pain if Anna was crying. He had no idea women undertook such a torture with their periods…
Anna shifted to sit more properly, and making unconsciously a room for him on her futon. She winced once more.
"It depends. Sometimes it's worse than the others." She said finally, not looking at him.
"C-can I help you somehow?" Yoh asked, watching her carefully. "Bring you something to drink? Or maybe I should call Tamao-"
"No!" she interrupted him fiercely. "I don't want others to see me like this!" she said, then flushed embarrassed. Yoh just stared at her, biting his lip. She winced once more.
"Where are you hurting?" he asked suddenly. "You sure I can't help you?"
There was a pause. Anna was looking away from Yoh, as he waited for her answer.
"My abdomen" she whispered finally. "I've got a hell of cramps today…"
"Isn't there anything I can do for you?" Yoh asked.
"Ryu got me already the painkillers I need." She said simply.
"But they are not working yet, obviously." He stated. She didn't reply and they sat in silence for a while.
"Cramps, you say…" Yoh said thoughtfully. "Sometimes after a tiring training session I get cramps as well." He said and smiled at her. "I know what will help you."
She stared at him, one eyebrow risen.
"Belly rub!" he said happily and Anna choked.
"What?" she exclaimed.
"I'll give you a massage. It helps when a muscle cramps and since your belly is a muscle and is cramping, it should help, ne?"
Anna just stared at him surprised. Well, she did not expected that, but Yoh's reasoning made sense.
"Um, yeah, I think." She said.
They stared at each other for a while.
"So?" Finally, Anna asked.
"Um…" Yoh scratched the back of his head. "Maybe you should lay down." He said.
"Oh." Anna blinked. "Okay." She did as he asked her and Yoh swallowed. Suddenly, giving a belly rub to Anna was not such a great idea. She was laying defenseless before him, her breasts rising and falling as she took each breath, teasing him tantalizingly. His palms sweated and he swallowed.
But he promised her he'll help! And she has just winced once more when she was laying down… his resolve returned.
He put his hands on her belly tentatively and noticed how warm and soft she was. He started making circle motions giving a slight pressure just like he tried to put relief into his tired muscles after a training session. He worked silently, avoiding Anna's eyes.
Then he heard it.
No, it couldn't be. He it came once more.
A soft moan of relief from Anna. He looked up at her involuntary and stopped at the sight of her.
Her eyes were closed, her breathing shallow and quickened, a look of utter relief an pleasure on her face.
Yoh wished he could put that look on her face all the time.
Suddenly, her eyes opened and a small frown appeared on her face. "Why did you stop?" she demanded.
"Oh, sorry." He blushed and looked down, feeling suddenly very hot. He started with the rubbing once more, praying for his cheeks to stop being so warm.
A small soft hand stopped his ministrations and he looked up, questioningly, only to have his lips assaulted by a pair of gentle ones. He could feel Anna's other hand coming around his neck as she got closer to him. His eyes widened before closing involuntary, the last sight he saw was Anna's closed eyes.
The kiss was gentle and long. Full of tenderness and sweetness. It left the two of them breathless and lightheaded.
"You are sticky and you stink." Anna whispered, still hugging him.
"Ah, ano, I've been going to take a shower after my run, but I heard you crying and well-"
"Thank you." She interrupted him and kissed him once more.
He didn't protested.
"Did you see Pirika?" Manta asked. "She wanted me to bring her a book from the library."
"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her today." HoroHoro said, scratching his cheek thoughtfully.
"I think she said yesterday about some great sale in the Heiyu Store." Ren added as he came toward them.
"Damn, she has probably bought out the whole shop!" HoroHoro complained.
Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp.
Ren's eyes widened, HoroHoro gulped loudly and Manta yelped taking a step back. They turned around slowly, dreading the sight behind them. But it wasn't what they had expected.
Before them stood an angry but cutely looking Pirika, holding a few bags of her shopping and shooting draggers at the three boys before her.
"Um, g-guys…" Manta squeaked, sweating. "I-I just r-remembered that women synchronize when the live together…"
"What?!" Ren asked in a strangled voice, his eyes wild. "I think… I think I just remembered that Jun asked me to run an errand for her. Yes! An errand!" he said hurriedly "Ja ne!" And he shot toward the doors, disappearing, before Manta could even blink.
"Tell me you're kidding, please, tell me you're kidding!" HoroHoro begged, his voice desperate.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
Manta looked to his right and Pirika stopped in her angry stride, surprised.
They stared at the lifeless body of HoroHoro.
"He- He fainted." Manta said.
"What a whimp!" Anna huffed, her arms crossed in front of her chest. she and Yoh came down to see what's the commotion was about.
Yoh just laughed at this. He locked his eyes with Anna's for a second, a small smile gracing their lips.
After all, sometimes good things can come out during this time of the month…