Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory belongs to creators Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady and CBS. Sheldon, Penny, Leonard, Raj, and Howard are not mine!
A/N: After watching last night's episode, I found myself wondering what Sheldon did to receive a restraining order from Leonard Nimoy, so I decided to write my own explanation. Yes my own biases in regards to Star Trek ships are leaking through. But this is honestly how I believe Sheldon, as a TOS fan, would view the Spock/Uhura relationship. He states a lot of facts and presents them logically. Just saying!
Also, I wrote this with no ill will towards S/U shippers. Your ship is XI canon! I'm pretty sure they'll still be going out in the sequel. You have nothing to worry about.
This takes place right after last night's episode with Stan Lee.
The Leonard Nimoy Restraining Order Conundrum
"Sheldon, wait!" Penny called after the spindly scientist.
"Make it quick, I have a paper on my new findings on string theory I must finish." Sheldon informed her, sticking his nose in the air.
"What did you do that made Leonard Nimoy take out a restraining order on you?" The blonde wanted to know. Sheldon just couldn't drop an interesting fact such as that one and leave it unexplained! Besides, Penny had met Nimoy once at the Cheesecake Factory. He seemed like a nice old man, and had been willing to sign a napkin as a Christmas present for Sheldon. She felt sorry for the guy if he'd had to put up with Sheldon's antics.
"I asked him a question," was the reply. Leonard rolled his eyes, while Howard and Raj made themselves comfortable on the couch. Even though they'd been there when it had happened, it was still an entertaining story to hear Sheldon tell.
"He's neglecting to tell you that he asked Mr. Nimoy a question at the 2009 Las Vegas Official Star Trek convention in front of thousands of people," Leonard clarified.
"So?" Penny shrugged. "Compared to most things Sheldon has said or done to people, that actually sounds pretty tame."
"You haven't heard the question," said Howard. "It even made me blush!" Raj nodded in agreement.
"Wow, that is serious," Penny deadpanned. "Let's hear it." Sheldon's eyes glazed over as he remembered that very day he spoke to his idol in person.
"It all started during the question and answer panel…"
Seven months ago
Sheldon stood in line in front of the stage with a dozen other trekkies as they waited patiently to ask the beloved icon their question. From the fifth row in the audience, Leonard, Howard, and Raj all gave him the thumbs-up sign. While they all envied Sheldon, they'd agreed earlier that since Sheldon was the biggest Spock fan out of the foursome, he would be the one to try and ask Leonard Nimoy a question. The line moved relatively quickly, and finally it was the physicist's turn. He stood close to the microphone and introduced himself.
"Hello, Mr. Nimoy. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper and I've been a fan of Spock since I was five years old." On stage, Leonard Nimoy approached him, holding his microphone.
"Thank you," said Nimoy. He gave Sheldon a pleasant smile. "What's your question?"
"Well, I was wondering, in your opinion, in the new Star Trek movie was young Spock exhibiting signs of Pon Farr when he choked Kirk on the bridge of the Enterprise?" The audience gasped while aged actor cleared his throat. In the audience, Leonard (Hofstader) covered his face with his hands, and fervently wished that Scotty would beam him someplace else.
"Pardon me?" Nimoy asked, not believing his ears at the rather intrusive question. Sheldon started again.
"In your opinion, in the new movie was Spock-"
"I understood the question." Nimoy interrupted, raising an eyebrow. "You came to this conclusion how, exactly?" Sheldon's face lit up with glee, as though Christmas, or rather, Saturnalia, had come early. He had the opportunity to give one of his longwinded explanations to Leonard Nimoy, of all people!
"As you know, Vulcans are a non-violent species," Sheldon began. "The only time Spock has ever choked anyone besides in Star Trek XI was during his attack on Kirk in the Original Star Trek classic episode 'Amok Time', which coincidentally happens to be your favorite episode. At that time he was experiencing 'plak tow', the blood fever associated with Pon Farr, or the time of mating." Leonard Nimoy's expression resembled a deer caught in headlights. He quickly recovered and responded to the statement.
"In the movie Spock had just lost his planet and his mother," Nimoy reminded him. "I believe Kirk's insult was the straw that broke the Vulcan's back." The audience chuckled at that.
"You didn't answer my question," whined the physicist.
"If Spock was experiencing Pon Farr, wouldn't it be logical for him to mate with his girlfriend Uhura?" Nimoy tried. "But he turned her down when she asked him what he needed, which he would not have done had the time of mating been upon him." Sheldon gave him a strange look.
"He wouldn't want Uhura," Sheldon scoffed. "In the original series, Spock was never interested in females unless he was under the influence of external factors. Kirk was the only person that could bring out his emotions. It's a constant in both universes!"
"I believe you've had your turn, Mr. Cooper," Nimoy said firmly. Sheldon ignored that statement.
"And also, do you not believe that making Lt. Uhura be Spock's girlfriend was an illogical move on the writers' part? She was only used as a stand in for Kirk, who would've comforted Spock after the loss of his planet save for the fact they weren't friends yet."
"Well, I don't-" Nimoy tried, but he was interrupted by Sheldon.
"You yourself stated in Star Trek XI that Kirk and Spock would have a friendship that would define them both, in ways that they could not possibly imagine." Nimoy shifted uncomfortably on his feet. In the audience, Raj whispered to Howard,
"A close friendship, yes," Nimoy finally answered. "Can I have the next person?" Sheldon gave a small smirk. The actor couldn't deflect him that easily! Now he would reveal his ace-in-the-hole.
"Ah, but true friendship for Vulcans is quite rare. It means something different to them than it does to humans. The ancient Vulcan word t'hy'la, invented by Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, has three meanings: friend, brother, and lover. This implies that-"
"Roddenberry also confirmed that Kirk prefers the fairer sex." Nimoy glanced sheepishly at the fascinated audience, who was hanging on Sheldon's every word.
"Damn right," Howard whispered to Raj. "Captain Kirk's a player. Taught me everything I know about picking up chicks."
"Too bad your track record isn't as good as his," Raj sniggered. Howard punched him in the arm, then winced because he hurt his hand. Back on stage, Sheldon was still trying to argue his point that Kirk and Spock were a lot closer than friends.
"Ah, that is what Roddenberry leads you to believe." Sheldon held up one finger. "His exact words are, and I quote, 'I have always found my best gratification in that creature woman.' Simple physical gratification is hardly grounds on which to build a relationship. Even I know that! Kirk and Spock were already friends and brothers, perhaps it would not be a stretch to presume that-"
"Excuse me, sir. Please step back from the microphone - your time is up." Two security guards approached the eccentric physicist.
"I'm sorry, but my time is up when I say it is," Sheldon said, affronted. "Mr. Nimoy, why-"
"Let's go, buddy." Each guard grabbed one of his arms.
"Wait, I didn't even get to hear his answer!" Sheldon wailed as he was dragged out of the auditorium. "I know where you live, Mr. Nimoy!" He called over his shoulder. "I'll get my answer somehow!"
Return to present day
"That explains it, alright," said Penny, patting Sheldon's hands in sympathy.
"I received the restraining order in the mail a week later," he sniffed. "But on the bright side, how many people can say they have a restraining order from Leonard Nimoy?" Penny just shook her head.
"Sweetie, we have got to work on your people skills." Her frenemy (friend/enemy) looked insulted.
"It's not me who's the problem. It's them! Now, if you are all quite satisfied, I shall turn in for the night." Penny and Leonard shared a knowing look. Unless they did something drastic, Sheldon would never willingly improve his people skills, as he believed they were perfectly adequate. Then Leonard remembered something he'd forgotten to ask Sheldon when they'd been in Vegas.
"Hang on," said Leonard. "I never got to ask you this before at the convention. Sheldon, do you actually want Kirk and Spock to be a…" he winced, "a couple?" Sheldon shrugged.
"I wouldn't care either way as long as there were plenty of space battles with the Klingons." Leonard, Raj and Howard breathed a sigh of relief. They couldn't think of their beloved space heroes being involved with each other. That would just be weird!
"Then why did you ask that question?" A baffled Leonard wanted to know.
"I wanted my question to be unique and memorable while at the same time give me the opportunity to demonstrate my vast knowledge of the Star Trek universe. Goodnight." Sheldon left the room to go to bed, leaving his astounded friends behind.
"You have to give him props; it certainly was memorable," said Howard, shuddering as he recalled that very moment. Leonard put his arm around his girlfriend, who snuggled close.
"Yeah, I don't think anyone in the audience is going to forget that one anytime soon."
A/N: This is my first Big Bang fic. Did I get Sheldon right?