Gin looked around, his whole world had been turned upside down in a matter of hours. He shuddered at the monstrosities that has occurred. No one in Soul Society or Las Noches would ever be the same. But the story doesn't start here.
Hours earlier at Las Noches
Gin had just come from the Espada computer room. He was walking quickly towards Szayel's lab, which was clearly not good for anyone with sanity. His smile was bigger than ever and as he passed random arrancar and some espada, they shivered. Except for Ulquiorra who had simply lifted an eyebrow and sighed inwardly, wondering what chaos would occur now. Gin reached Szayel's lab to find him not there, 'perfect' he thought. Then as one of Szayel's fraccion walked by, Gin grabbed him and whispered in his ear. The fraccion, being completely terrified by the creep with the smile nodded quickly. He didn't want to help Gin, but he heard what happened to the last arrancar to deny Gin his random requests. 'Not good' he thought as he shuddered. He shuddered again as he handed Gin the glowing vial. Gin smiled bigger and ran out of the room. Once Gin was gone the arrancar broke down sobbing in terror.
The Espada were in another one of Aizen's tea meetings. Stark was sleeping, Barragan was testing his breath, Harribel was fidgeting, Ulquiorra was watching Aizen and listening intently, Nnorita was trying to look down Harribel's uniform but had no luck because of her collar thing, Grimmjow was rolling his eyes at Nnorita, Zommari was doing whatever Zommaris do. Szayel was wondering why his fraccion had been sobbing hysterically before he ate him, Aaroniero was arguing with himself, Yammy was wondering why Aizen had tea parties, Orihime was daydreaming about herself being a super spy ninja in space, Tousen was turning his head at the strange gushes of wind he kept feeling but he couldn't see what was going on, and Gin stopped blowing at Tousen to finger the vial in his sleeve.
Suddenly the wall exploded as Ichigo, Ishida, Captain Zaraki, Yumichika, Ikkaku, Captain Hisugaya, and Rangiku burst through the wall. The espada leapt to action. Stark said,
"Ok I see you guys have this handled, I'm going to sleep." Then he laid on the ground with a pillow he pulled out of nowhere. Ulquiorra stood back and said,
"You trash handle the other trash." Aizen was just watching his espada. Tousen was running in circles yelling,
"JUSTICE." Yammy and Barragan were fighting Captain Zaraki, Harribel was fighting Captain Hisugaya, Szayel vs. Ishida, Grimmjow vs. Ichigo, Yumichika vs. Aaroniero, Ikkaku vs. Zommari. Gin was running towards Rangiku when he tripped over Stark.
"No," Gin yelled as the vial smashed on the floor, releasing a vapor that rose and surrounded everyone.
Gin woke up first. He coughed and randomly said,
"The reason I smile all the time is because there is an implant in my jaw that a fan girl put in when I was sleeping. It only disappears when I open my eyes which I also can't do for too long or they burn out. Which is also why my eyes are red."
"Really?" Ichigo asked.
"Yep, wait why did I say that I mean n-" His throat closed forcefully. "Oh right, the vial."
"What vial," Aizen asked in a dangerous tone.
"The vial I stole from Szayel's lab," Gin said.
"What exactly does it do?" Rangiku asked.
"It forces anyone who breathes it to only say the truth and occasionally to blurt out stuff they would normally never admit or say." Gin said unwillingly. He turn and saw that everyone was awake except Ulquiorra. Even Stark.
"Umm guys, I think there is something wrong with emospada over there," Ikkaku said.
"Emospada?" Aizen asked.
"Yeah, that's what we call him. No one can pronounce his name," Ikkaku replied. Grimmjow started laughing.
It had been decided that until the effects of the vial had worn off, the shinigami, espada, and Quincy would get along and stay in Las Noches. The shinigami and Quincy were sitting on one side of the room and the espada were sitting on the other side. Ichigo and Ishida were sitting on the floor watching Orihime, who was trying not to peek at the still unconscious Ulquiorra. Even Stark was starting to worry about the amount of time Ulquiorra had been unconscious. Gin suddenly remembered why he stole the vial in the first place. Smiling bigger than usual he said,
"So, Yumichika. Is it true you're gay?"
"No, I am not gay, I was never gay and I will never be gay." Yumichika said frustrated. Everyone stared in shock.
"Why does everyone think I'm gay. Have I ever did anything to make people think I was gay?" Yumichika yelled.
"I'M GAY," A voice rang out. Everyone turned again in shock to see that the voice was Ikkaku.
"No," Gin said in a hushed voice.
"Yes, damn you all, if I had never gone on this mission my secret would be safe." Ikkaku said defeated.
"So that wasn't Yumichika's women stuff in the bathroom," Captain Hisugaya asked.
"Whoa whoa whoa, so slow down, what did you find in the bathroom, and why did I never hear of this," Yumichika asked.
"Well we found thongs, tights, make-up, waxing strips, lipstick, and tampons." Hisugaya said in disgust. "And no one ever said anything to you because they all care about you in a non-gay way," He continued.
"Ok, so lemme get this straight. Yumichika...Not gay...Ikkaku...Gay?" Aizen asked.
"Yep, pretty much," Rangiku said.
"Wow, never saw that coming. So is anyone else gay. If so speak up, otherwise speak up cause the vial will force it out of you." Gin said. He was enjoying this. But he was hoping and praying to anyone who was listening that Rangiku would be with him. A strangled choke was coming from behind them. Grimmjow was biting his lip and struggling not to make a sound. But he was failing.
"No, it can't be. He can't be..." Aizen said. Then Grimmjow started laughing.
"Hahahaha you people actually though I was gay. " Grimmjow laughed again. Aizen sighed in relief, he couldn't deal with another gay espada, 2 were hard enough. He was surprised that the abovementioned gay espadas had kept quiet for this long. He counted in his head 3...2...1... and sure enough Nnorita let out a strangled scream,
"Yes I'm also gay, curse you Gin, this is your fault," He started sobbing. Captain Zaraki slowly rose to his feet and walked over to Nnorita, knelt down and patted Nnorita on the back and said,
"Same here," Ichigo and Ishida screamed in horror. The espada started laughing hysterically then stopped as Kenapachi glared. The rest of the shinigami was in shock. So far there were 2 gays in the 11th division, and 3 in the room now.
"Ok anyone else." Aizen asked as he looked pointedly at a certain espada. Barragan sighed and said,
"Me and Charlotte are a couple."
"That creepy fraccion of yours?" Zommari asked.
"Yes." Barragan sighed. Grimmjow sighed too many gays in one room. 4 gays total, and two in espada.' he was going to have to kick some major gay butt.
Ulquiorra sat up and screamed,
"I LOVE YOU ORIHIME. I LOVED YOU SINCE YOU SHOWED ME WHAT A HEART WAS. AND I GIVE MY HEART TO YOU. FOR ETERNITY." Time froze as Orihime ran to him and hugged him.
"I feel the same way," She whispered. He leaned forward and kissed her. When they broke apart, he smiled. Everyone in the room froze in shock. Ichigo and Ishida got nosebleeds, and The espada screamed in fear of Ulquiorra smiling, and hid being Harribel and Yumichika who were hugging each other and crying and smiling, because it was so sweet. But you couldn't tell because of her collar. Ikkaku screamed and ran in circles.
"EMOSPADA SMILED THE WORLD IS ENDING," Ulquiorra and Orihime were too busy kissing to notice.
"We will be together forever," Ulquiorra said as Orihime smiled through her tears of joy.
"Aannnyyywwwaaayyy, Ok so now everyone shout one secret about themselves," Gin shouted. And this is how it went
Aizen: I have my hair this way because when I was young I got a perm. The reason was my sister was getting more attention than me so I got a perm to look more like her.
Zommari made a mental note to get a perm.
Tousen: I'm blind because when I was a boy...I met Michael Jackson *shudders*
Michael Jackson pops in and giggles and waves at Tousen. Causing everyone to shudder.
Stark: I hide my emergency pillows in my pants
Nnorita looks at Stark's pants and sighs disappointedly.
Barragan: I have a fetish for cross-dressers
Charlotte waves and makes kissy noises as Yumichika shuddered.
Harribel: I wear the high collar because I have a chin condition
Captain Zaraki pats her on the back as she tears
Ulquiorra: I'm emo because it IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you. Also I sleep upside down.
Grimmjow shouted, "I KNEW IT!"
Nnorita: I look down Harribel's collar to see if she smiles
Grimmjow: When Aizen leaves his room open, that's when I get my secret stash of catnip
Ulquiorra says," And you judge me for being emo." Then he fist bumps Orihime.
Zommari: I am the last of an ancient race of super robot monkeys
Szayel: I dye my hair pink because pink gives me smart powers
Yammy plots to buy pink hair dye
Aaroniero: I have a personality disorder
"No you don't." "Yes I do," This went on for a while as everyone backed away slowly.
Yammy: I think I'm fat
Ichigo: My hair is orange because it got stuck in radioactive waste
Grimmjow laughs as Orihime backs away slowly.
Ishida: I like to sew because I have both male and female reproductive parts.
Loly and Menoly who popped out of nowhere, looked at each other and decided he would be fun as they dragged him away screaming.
Captain Zaraki: I found Yachiru in my sammich
Aaroniero stared and looked away guiltily.
Yumichika: The feathers on my head were glued on by accident
Yumichika looks away dramatically to the distance.
Ikkaku: The red on my eyes is lipstick
Rangiku said," That's where my favorite lipstick went." Then she glared at Ikkaku.
Captain Hisugaya: I was Lady Gaga in a past life
"How is that possible?" Ichigo asked. "It has to be true, my vial is foolproof." Szayel said as he stared obsessively at Captain Hisugaya.
Rangiku: I still love Gin
Gin: *screams and leaps into her arms*
Orihime: I got my cookbook from a nice man who was in prison for assassination attempts on the president.
Suddenly so much made sense to everyone in the room.
And that's where we are now. Everything Gin thought was gone and everything had changed. He almost regretted taking the vial. Almost...
Gin: I want some reviews or I will spill all of your secrets. I know where you live.