Disclaimer: All characters in the Sookieverse belong to Charlaine Harris.

So, here it is, the final chapter! Sorry it took a bit longer than usual, it is quite lengthy, and I had to try to get it right! I hope I did *chews fingernails and rocks nervously*

Thanks to everyone who has followed the story - reading it, subscribing, and/or reviewing. Especially those who have taken the time and very kindly commented/reviewed. You guys are awesome, and have spurred me on to keep writing and, particularly with this being my first story, the support has meant a lot.

Special thanks go to my friend and beta-reader, RubySun03, for all the time and effort, e-mails, corrections, outrageous SVM knowledge, and the superb ideas. I owe her big-style.

So, I don't know what I'll do to fill the hole Dead or Alive has left. There's always the possibility of a sequel. Who knows!

For those of you who may be interested, I have posted a one-shot follow-up to this story, and the link is on my profile page. A little honeymoon goodness ; )

Anyhoo, hope you've enjoyed the story, please let me know your thoughts! I really appreciate the feedback : ) I'll zip it now! *sniff* Bye!

Chapter 35

"Sookie, where are your shoes?"

"In the bathroom," I shouted.

"What the hell are they doing in there?"

I sighed and shook my head. Amelia was way more nervous about today than I was.

"Sookie, where are my shoes?"

"Find your own shoes, witch." Pam smiled as she came in and stood behind me, looking at me in the mirror. "You look good enough to eat."

I smiled and pulled at the top of my gorgeous strapless gown for the 50th time since I'd put it on.

"Thanks. Like a big ol' eclair kind of good, or a petit four kinda good?"

"Like a sweet and tasty, melt in your mouth beignet." She held her cell phone out to me, and gave me her trademark eye-roll. "He wants to speak to you."

I momentarily panicked. He wasn't going to bail on me was he? I took it from her and she winked at me before leaving.

"Hey. I'm missing you."

"Well hello Mrs. Northman. Why are you not answering your phone?"

"I'm kinda busy getting ready to marry you. Pam spent, like, an hour on my hair alone. You did remember we were getting married tonight, right?"

"Of course. I've thought of nothing but you all evening, and all of yesterday. I'm practically bursting out of my pants to marry you, Sookie, so please don't keep me waiting."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll be there."

"With bells on?"

"Bells and whistles. I'm not wearing them though."

"So what are you wearing?"

I giggled and perched on the end of the bed.

"I'm not allowed to tell you. You'll see for yourself pretty soon, anyways."

Eric groaned. "Well, how about we just pretend you're wearing that little furry number on my poster? Or perhaps that is what you are really wearing?"

"Yeah, I am. I thought I'd go for something a little, you know, different. The post-modern cave-woman bride."

"Mmm. I like it. Very neo-savage. It will compliment my outfit, since I am wearing traditional Viking wedding attire."


"Did I not tell you? Well, it will be a nice surprise."

"Are you seriously wearing fur?"

I heard him chuckle. Then his voice deepened. "Does the fur feel soft next to your skin, lover?" My pulse started to quicken.

"Stop that. There's no way I'm having phone sex with you right before our wedding. For one thing I might mess up my hair, and then Pam will kill me."

"I can take care of Pam. We had such spectacular phone sex while you were in New Orleans last month. You have such a dirty mouth."

"I do not!"

"You do. Such a wonderfully dirty mouth. Why don't you tell me what you'd like to do with that filthy mouth of yours?"

A few things did actually spring to mind. This just wasn't the time.


"How about I tell you, and you can just listen? Maybe do some heavy breathing."

"Eric! Stop trying to get me all hot, I'll have to shower again."

"Well if you won't indulge me on the telephone can I come and see you? You can blindfold me, and keep the dress on to save time."

"Will you stop? I'll see you in less than an hour," I giggled.

"Ugh. You don't want to have phone sex with me, or see me. You don't love me any more."

I could picture his mock-pout, his mischievous smile.

"I can't wait to see you." I sighed. "Then I'm gonna treat you so good, honey. I'll make it worth the wait."

"Damn, Sookie. I want to bite you." He let out a frustrated groan. "I'm going to fuck you so long and hard, lover, I'll have you begging for mercy. You'd better be ready for me. Prepare those extra orgasm storage jars."

I laughed out loud. Amelia came in and waved my shoes at me.

"I've got to go. I have a hot vampire to marry."

"I love you, Sookie."

"I love you too."

"Prepare the jars."

I grinned and snapped the cell shut.

"Amelia, why do I need to put my shoes on already?"

She looked down at her feet. "I've got mine on," she gestured. She was wearing blue heels to match her cute, electric blue, cocktail-length, boat-neck dress.

I took the shoes from her, put them on the floor and sat on the end of the bed.

"Will you chill the eff out?" Her mind was such a mess, I couldn't read a word.

She took a deep breath and came and sat beside me.

"Sorry, you're right. I don't know why I'm freaking out. Aren't you supposed to be the nervous one? Shouldn't you be crying and throwing a fit about your hair or something?"

I shrugged. "What's there to be nervous about?" Then I threw her a concerned look. "Does my hair look bad? Did Pam do it too pouffy?"

Amelia grinned, and then her smile fell as she started to cry. "No, it looks perfect."

I took her hand. "What's up, roomie? You're starting with the waterworks early. Are you upset about the tattoo?" It was the silhouette of a little slinky black cat, tastefully done, thankfully, on her left shoulder blade.

She took another deep breath and exhaled. "No. I'm just happy for you, that's all. And you look so beautiful, and I just know how great you two are together. You deserve it. I love you, Stackhouse."

"I love you too, Broadway." I hugged her, choking back the tears, and saw Pam poke her head around the door.

"What's going on in here? Well, there appears to be a lot of love in this room. Why am I not involved?" She came and sat beside me. "Ooh, a little ménage a trois. Sookie, we do have a little time before you have to be downstairs. This could be your last chance." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"And ruin my make-up? You'd have to re-do my hair, too."

"I'll be gentle."

"Yeah, right, that doesn't sound like you. Not from what Amelia tells me."

Amelia looked at Pam agape, shaking her head. "Er...I..."

"Well, Amelia likes it rough. Sookie, your mascara needs touching up. You've not been leaking have you?"

They finished preening me, and Amelia helped me take a pee, then the time came. Suddenly, all my nerves seemed to appear at once. I sat down on the bed, taking a moment alone in the room, and tried to focus. Pam came in.


I nodded.

"You know Sookie, I truly think you and Eric are perfect for one another. I don't want to get all emotional on your ass, but," she pulled a face, "your happiness warms my dead heart. There, I said it. Let's go."

I smiled. "Thanks Pam."

I took one last look in the mirror before we left. My dress was simple. It was a strapless, empire-line, floaty ivory-chiffon gown. I wore my hair down, trailing in perfect loose curls, with a small garland of pretty flowers. My make-up was simple, and I carried a small bouquet of wild-flowers. I hadn't realized, until Amelia called the style 'ethereal' that I'd unconsciously gone for the 'fairy-bride' look.

Amelia was waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs, speaking to someone who had their back turned to me. She saw me, poked at the guy, and he turned. It was Jason. I hadn't recognized him from behind, perhaps since I wasn't used to seeing him in a suit. He beamed as he watched me come down Pam's outrageously grand staircase.

"Sookie, you look... amazing."

I threw my arms around him, and he hugged me tightly.

"Hey, watch the hair, jerk-wad," Pam warned. Jason pulled away.

"You came."

"Of course I did. I'm sorry, sis. I'm such an asshole."

I smiled at him, and tried to fight back the tears.

"I'm sorry too. Can you be happy for me?"

"Yeah, I think I can. I'm gonna try real hard. I want you to be happy, Sook. Maybe I was jealous or over-protective or something. I've been pretty messed up, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I've had some of that too."

"I love you, and I want us to be in each others lives again."

Sam poked his head around a door. "Ah, are you guys ready?"

"Is anyone giving you away?"

"I'm not really anyone's to give, am I, Jason?"

"Well, I should like to do the honors anyway."

I smiled and nodded at him. I took a deep breath and we made our way through the house, out through the back door and down the steps that led to Pam's garden. I could hear the soft music that Eric had picked out - serene harp and flute music from a distant time - and the low murmurings of the guests' words and thoughts. I put my shields up; now was no time for that. I needed to focus. Breathe. I held on to Jason's arm, as Pam led and Amelia followed.

The whole garden was lit with fairy lights and pretty lanterns. It was a perfect, mild, still night.

My heart was in my mouth as I stood and glanced around at the guests, all facing front. I was suddenly even happier that we'd kept the numbers small, since I was now so nervous. The beautiful music got louder, and people turned to look at me. I blushed. When Eric turned to look at me, I had to breathe deeply to stop myself from crying. Pam went and stood down at the front, and Jason tugged at me a little, leading me forward.

Eric's eyes never left my face, and mine his, and finally I reached the end of the aisle and stood beside him. Jason stepped away, and I was left alone with my Viking. Suddenly my nerves faded away, and I was completely at ease. I pulled my gaze away from his eyes to take him in fully. He was dressed in a beautiful light gray three-piece suit, white shirt, and a silk striped tie. His hair was loose around his shoulders. As always, his perfection took my breath away. Which reminded me to breathe. Our eyes locked again, and he took my hand, and smiled at me lovingly. I was completely lost in his eyes and the moment. I could tell someone was talking, but couldn't focus. Finally, someone coughed, and Eric turned.


It was the Justice of the Peace, Cath, waiting to begin the ceremony.


She smiled. "Shall we begin?"

I looked at Eric and nodded.

"You look radiant, Sookie." My eyes widened as I realized Eric was projecting his thoughts at me. How had he managed to break through my shields? He grinned when he realized it'd worked.

"I adore you. You are everything to me."

I smiled, and turned to Cath as she began to speak.

"Your breasts look fantastic."

I reinforced my shields.

Cath began the ceremony, and then asked us to repeat our lines.

"I, Sookie, take you, Eric, to be my friend, my lover, my husband, and my one true love. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity."

We exchanged rings, simple gold bands. Both were engraved on the inside, in Old Norse, and the words translated as 'My Heart's Desire'. Pam was kind of 'best man', and took care of the rings.

"With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all the treasures of my mind, heart, and hands." Eric cocked an eyebrow at me. Oh yeah, I knew the treasures of his hands, alright. By this point, I was getting teary, and Eric's mischief was a welcome relief from the overwhelming emotion.

"By the power vested in me by the state of Louisiana, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride."

Eric gave a little growl and smiled at me, then bent down to gently place his lips to mine. I wrapped my hands around his neck, still grasping my bouquet, and melted into him. He lifted me around the waist, picking me up off the floor, and our kiss deepened. I was brought out of my daze suddenly by some clapping and hollering.


"Woop woop!"

I blushed and pulled away, then turned to our guests and grinned. The music started up again, more energetic this time, and Cath had us sign the register, and then there was a chance for some photographs. Everyone came up and offered their congratulations.

Amelia was crying again, and kept telling me how beautiful everything was. I thought I might have seen some red-rimmed eyes from Pam, too. Tara and JB gave us their best, and Jason gave me another hug, and actually smiled at Eric. Sam kissed me on the cheek, and Eric barely flinched in reaction.

"You look beautiful, Sookie."

"Thanks, Sam. You look good too." Sam was wearing a suit, and I couldn't remember ever seeing him wear one before. He scrubbed up good.

"Yeah, well, I don't get much chance to dress up. We're missing you at the bar. You gotta stay in touch. And, well, look after each other." Sam looked at Eric specifically when he said this.

"Oh, we will," Eric responded. "My wife and I will be keeping a very close eye on one another."

"Well, that's good." He forced a smile and moved on.

Terry was up next, and then Holly and Hoyt. All the Fangtasia vamps did some respectful bowing, and I politely thanked them all for coming.

Bill stepped up slowly, and when he seemed reluctant to do it himself, I hugged him.

"Congratulations to you both. I hope that you will be very happy."

"Thanks Bill." I could tell this wasn't exactly easy for him. If Eric wanted to gloat, then he kept quiet about it, and I couldn't feel it. Maybe we were past that now.

Alcide offered his congratulations; he was here with his new girlfriend Tori. Octavia had made it too, and brought along her gentleman friend, Louis. I'd invited Remy and Hunter, out of politeness really, since it wasn't exactly a good idea for them to attend. Remy realized this too and politely declined, saying it was way past Hunter's bedtime. We both knew it was better for my and Hunter's relationship to remain low key, and for him to stay clear of non-humans. I was sad to see Claude hadn't made it. I'd sent him an invitation but hadn't seen or heard from him since that time he appeared on my porch. With all the vamps around, it was probably for the best.

After all the hugging (thankfully, the human guests seemed to realize Eric wasn't the congratulatory hug type) and thanking I'd done, I was pretty exhausted and overwhelmed. At some point Eric sensed this, and made a gesture to Pam.

"Everyone, there's drinks and nibbles in the tent, if we could all make our way there." Pam had everyone's attention, and they were all soon making their way further down the garden. We were suddenly alone.

"So, Mrs Northman, do you finally accept that you are my wife?"

"Yes. I gotta say, it feels pretty good."

"You will obey me now?"

"That wasn't in our vows."

"It was, you took it out." He kissed down my neck, and as he held me close, we swayed and turned a little in time with the music. "That was very sneaky. I missed you."

"Hmm. Me too. You didn't dress Viking style."

"No, and you aren't wearing fur. I'm still enjoying the alternative, though. You are the picture of beauty, my love."

I unbuttoned his jacket to take a better look at his outfit, but it was more of an excuse to get closer to what lay beneath. I ran my hands over his vest, and around his waist, and then let my hand wander down to caress his ass. Eric brushed his thumb gently over my cheek, then leaned down and kissed me.

"I find it hard to believe that I could ever love you more than I do now. And yet I know I will still love you more tomorrow."

I smiled up at him. "You always say the right thing."

"I do? Well, how about I say, 'it's time we went upstairs and you got me naked because we're quite obviously desperate to fuck one another.'"

"Like I say, always right."

"Finally, you admit it. I think you will be a good wife."

I rolled my eyes at him, took his hand and began to drag him towards the house.

"Come on, husband. I need me some hot Viking ass."

"Did I say good wife? I meant spectacular."

We flew up the stairs, literally, because Eric was actually flying and I was in his arms. The sensation of it had me in a fit of hysterics. I was still giggling when he dropped me down on the bed. Eric knelt on the edge and pulled off my shoes.

"Why did I never get you to do that before? That was so much fun. We're never walking or driving anywhere ever again. You're my new mode of transport."

"You can ride me any time."

I burst out laughing again, and couldn't seem to stop.

"Sookie, I believe you are hysterical."

"I can't help it. You can ride me any time? Eric, that's just so bad."

"You have to stop. It's transferring through the bond and I feel like a school-girl. I can't perform under these circumstances."

That just made me giggle even more. I clutched at my stomach and tried to breathe.

"Sookie," Eric sighed, and then lay down beside me, propped himself up on his elbow, and smiled while he waited for me to ride out the laughter.

"Ah. Ooh. That was good." I wiped away a tear and turned to face him. "Aah. Sorry. Where were we?"

"If it makes you laugh that much, I'll be happy to fly you around every day."

He pulled me close, and I enjoyed some quality make out time with my hubby. I finally pulled away to take a breather and closed my eyes as his lips trailed down my neck.



"When we said our vows, and I said I'd stay with you for eternity, I meant it. Literally."

Eric stopped licking my neck and looked into my eyes. We hadn't spoken about this in months. I knew that Eric was waiting for me to instigate it.

"Yes? Are you sure, my love?"

"Yes, I'm sure. But we need to talk about it more, obviously. I'm a little worried about the fact that vampire/maker couples don't stay together too long."

"Oh, I think we can be the exception to the rule. We will talk of this soon. There will be much to discuss. Not tonight." He resumed his neck-kissing.

"You do want it though, don't you?"

"Of course. I want you forever. I want you to be happy. You will make a sensational vampire, and I know you will adapt."

"I'm kinda scared. What do you think it will do to my telepathy? Will it make it worse?"

"You'll probably be able to control it better, I'm guessing. Sookie," he grabbed a handful of my hair and ran his other hand up my thigh, pulling my dress up, "focus. This is our wedding night. I do want to talk about this, it is very important to me. However, I think we've gone far too long without consummating our marriage."

"What, half an hour?" I smiled as I felt his fingers toying with the sparse lace of my underwear.

"Too long."

He pushed my panties to the side, and I let out a deep sigh as he plunged his fingers into me.

"Oh, God that feels good." He kissed me, his tongue following the rhythm of his fingers, and I hitched my leg around his waist to give him better access.

"Mr. Eric."

I screamed out. Bubba had climbed over the balcony and somehow opened the French windows.

"Bubba. What are you doing here?" Eric was not happy. I pulled away from him and stood, righting my dress.

"Miss Pam asked me to keep an eye out for anything suspicious, Sir. Everyone was outside, and I thought I saw movement in here." Eric groaned and rolled on his back on the bed.

"Yes, Bubba, that will have been us. You are dismissed. You really should stop walking in on people like that."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sir. Miss Sookie. I'll be gone now."

I was fixing my hair in the mirror, and turned to smile at him, before he exited the window and began climbing over the balcony.

"He really does walk in at the most inopportune moments. It always appears to be when I'm in the middle of fingering you. Come back here, I'm nowhere near finished."

"Look at my hair, the flowers are everywhere. And my makeup's all over my face. Amelia said this was supposed to be waterproof mascara."

"Never mind about that, come and undress me. I want out of this suit."

I went and knelt on the bed next to him.

"Shouldn't we be getting back to our guests?"

"All in good time. Do you not want your husband, lover?"

I smiled. Oh Lord, did I. As I undressed him I kissed and licked and nibbled at the skin I was exposing. Eric was letting out beautiful noises of pleasure, and I took my time, savoring it. When I finally had him completely naked and exceedingly hard, he sat up and unzipped my dress, and had me out of it in seconds. I straddled him, and he took a moment to peruse my sexy silk and lace underwear, biting at the cups of my strapless bra, before whipping that off too, along with my thong.

"Where was I?"

He slid his fingers into me, and I gripped onto the back of his neck and threw my head back in pleasure.

"Oh, right about there." I wriggled a little.

"Mmm." Eric leaned me back and trailed his tongue up my body, finishing at my mouth, where my own tongue was waiting for him. He withdrew his fingers and gave my nub a teasing rub, before picking me up at the waist and flipping me around so I was facing away from him, and then lying back and pulling me back towards him by my thighs. I let out a little excited scream at his swift move. I became even more excited when I saw what I was looking down upon. I was a very, very lucky woman, that was for sure.

I wasted no time, gripping his huge, hard shaft, and let my tongue and fingers wander, doing all the things I'd come to know he loved. Eric caressed my thighs and ass, and when I finally took him into my mouth he pulled me lower towards him, and I closed my eyes and moaned out from the pleasure of it. His tongue was making all the right moves, and he reached between us to massage one of my breasts, and rolled my nipple in between his thumb and forefinger. I tried to focus on what I was doing, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. As the pleasure built I sat up and braced myself on him, and his fingers found my nub as his tongue probed deep within me. I wiggled my hips on him a little, and moaned out as the exquisite pleasure continued to increase, and worked my hand on him, twisting slightly, just the way he loved. I couldn't contain my screams as I came. I left my body for a moment, and when I returned to Earth, I hoped that everyone was still outside, and that Bubba had closed the French windows properly. I was becoming a real screamer.

"Fuck, Eric, that was good."

I returned to pleasuring him, and from the sweet sounds he was making, I could tell he was very happy to enjoy it. I took my time, enjoying it myself. In fact, I couldn't get enough oral sex with Eric. Pleasing him this way had become my all time favorite thing. He was soon teasing me with his fingers, pumping them inside me, pressing on my G spot. His body began to tense beneath me.

"Ah. Stop, I have to fuck you, lover. Now."

He flipped me over, and then he was on top of me, and my head was hanging off the end of the bed. He kissed his way up my body and then took a breast in between his lips, licking, and then sucking. I felt the sharp point of his fangs, and he nipped a little, and then sucked hard. I arched my back and pressed his head closer to me. He stopped sucking and gently squeezed at my breast, then ran his tongue in little circles over where he'd bitten, gently lapping up the small beads of blood. Then he grasped me by the waist, pulling me further down the bed, before thrusting deep inside. We both groaned, and I smiled with the sweet pleasure that flooded my body. He began thrusting, slowly and gently at first, taking his time, until he had me begging for more. Then his thrusts deepened, and he began to push in hard, and pull back slow. He was driving me wild.

"She makes me so fucking hard. Ah, so fucking good." That was all I heard, before he started thinking in Norse, which turned me on just as much.

"Ah! Tell me out loud. I wanna hear it out loud."

"Hmm. Am I forgetting to tell you how much I am enjoying myself? Every time we have sex I want more and more of you. I'm so greedy for you. For your perfect breasts, your beautiful pussy, your delicious soft skin. You intoxicate me, Sookie. I want you so much, every minute, every day. I can never get enough, lover."

I arched my back, and Eric hooked my legs over his shoulders, and he plunged further and harder into me. He was relentless, and I moaned with delight at every thrust.

"Oh, that's so good, Eric. Harder. More. More!" My words might not be so eloquent or romantic, but they were just as sincere.

He continued to pound me, and I twisted the sheets in my hands as I came, screaming out his name. My muscles tensed and I pulled him in deeper, and this sent Eric over the edge with me. We were soon letting out little contented sighs, and I lay back, wrapping my legs around his waist, and enjoyed his gentle mini-thrusts.

"Consider me consummated."

Eric laughed and rolled over, pulling me with him so I was lying on top.

"That was outstanding. You keep hearing me. Pretty soon I won't need to bother talking out loud to you at all."

"Oh don't say that. I like when you talk out loud better. Plus it just makes us seem even weirder."

Eric laughed again. "What do you mean? We're not weird."

"We're hardly your usual couple. The thousand year old Viking vampire who can fly, and the part fairy, human telepath."

"That's not weird. That's special. Perfect, in fact."

I smiled up at him. "Yeah, you're right. Perfect."

"Right again. I'm on fire tonight."

I sat up, and my hair fell in front of my face in tangles.

"Oh Lord, Pam won't be impressed with this. I stayed looking like the blushing bride for what, all of an hour?"

"At least we have photos."

"Well, I think I'm gonna need a shower."

"I won't pass up the opportunity for one of those."

We showered, having more sex in the process, of course, and got ready again. I dressed in my new Matthew Williamson floral printed, halterneck silk-chiffon gown, and attempted to do something with my hair and make up. Eric put his suit back on, but I could tell he wanted to get some jeans on, or even better, stay naked with me.

We had to be polite for our guests, though, this was our wedding after all. As we stepped back outside I tried to look sweet and inconspicuous, but then I thought, well, what do people think we've been doing in there all this time after we just got married? Reading?

More people had arrived for the party who we had to greet and receive congratulations from, including Andy and Halleigh Bellfleur. Everyone was mingling and dancing, and there were gifts piled in the tent next to the cake, even though we'd asked guests to donate to charity instead. There were a couple of waiters behind the table serving drinks. The cake was three tiers of pure chocolate indulgence, by the way, and I couldn't wait to grab a slice.

"I think it's time for the entertainment to begin, don't you?" Eric said, with a grin. "Where's the sheriff?"

I spotted her, chatting with Indira in the corner near the little stage. Eric went over to her, bent to her ear and whispered. I saw Pam close her eyes and grimace, before she stepped up onto the small stage, and picked up the microphone.

"Good evening everyone. Eric and Sookie would like to thank you for celebrating this special day with them, and I," she paused and closed her eyes. She looked sick. Eric walked back towards me, chuckling. "I'm going to... sing for you, tonight. This is my favorite love song," she gritted her teeth, "and this is my special gift to the happy couple."

I felt so bad for her, standing there looking uncharacteristically vulnerable in her spectacular vintage pink Chanel suit. She turned around with her back to the audience, feet apart, hands by her sides. I thought I heard her groan.

Someone started a backing track. It was trumpets or something, and then a beat came in. Pam started shaking her ass.

"Pfft!" Eric burst out laughing beside me.

The backing track continued. "What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk."

Pam turned around. "I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump." Her voice was monotone, almost bored. She pointed at her ass, and looked mortified.

"My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump," she rotated her hips, but her moves were hardly graceful. This was so not Pam. "My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. Check it out."

Eric laughed again. I noticed people were looking uncomfortable, not sure whether this was serious or not.

I had to help her out.

"Whoo! Go Pam!"

I made my way closer to her and grabbed Amelia and Tara. We started clapping and busting some moves. Pam looked my way and I gave her a wink.

"What you gon' do with all that ass, all that ass inside them jeans?"

Pam shook her booty again. "I'm a make, make, make, make you scream. Make you scream, make you scream."

Amelia and I both screamed. More people started dancing, and Pam's moves got more raunchy. I could tell she was starting to relax. Maybe even enjoying it.

"My hump, my hump, my hump. My lovely lady lumps."

She turned around, looked over her shoulder, and slapped her cheek. Someone started up some disco lights.

"They say I'm really sexy, the girls they wanna sex me, they always standing next to me. Always dancing next to me. Tryin' a feel my hump, hump. Lookin' at my lump, lump." She was popping now, and pouting her lips seductively. I glanced over at Eric. He had his arms folded, but I could tell he was still amused.

"You don't want no drama, no, no drama, no, no, no, no drama." She waved her finger and gave it some 'tude. Jason and Hoyt joined us, and Pam started playing to them.

"So don't be checking out my fangs boy, you ain't my human, boy. I'm just tryin'a dance boy, and move my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump."

She was definitely loving it now, any trace of refined, restrained Pam had gone out of the window.

"Spending all your money on me, up on me, on me."

The music finished, Pam struck a pose, and everyone cheered. She gave a toothy grin, and took the applause, before stepping down. Some more music started up, and people carried on dancing. I was so excited I hugged her.

"That was so great! You were awesome. Way better than Fergie."

"Did you like the moves? Was I ghetto fabulous enough?"

"The moves were on point! Where'd you learn to pop like that?"

"I watch Randy Jackson's Dance Crew."

Eric came over.

"Pam, that was interesting."

Pam bowed.

"It was indeed a heinous punishment."

"What?" Amelia piped up. "Punishment? You loved it!"

"Oh, yes, she may have enjoyed her moment in the spotlight, but she has been in turmoil for months now. The anticipation of the moment is the true punishment."

Pam tutted. "Well, it's over now. I don't ever have to do anything like that again in public."

"Well, we can enjoy watching it back," Eric smiled.


"Yes. Maxwell Lee was recording, at the back, there," he pointed. Maxwell gave us a wave, and pointed at the camera.

Pam growled.

"He's my underling now, Eric. I'll be getting that video off him."

"I don't think so Pam. This is going on YouTube. I'm sending copies to all the other sheriffs."

I was pretty sure he was joking about that, but they carried on arguing about it for another 10 minutes at least.

Pretty soon, after some of us had drunk some more champagne, we were all up on the stage, following Pam's lead. I couldn't get Eric to sing, though. I did a duet with Tara, and we sang 'We are Family' by Sister Sledge. Amelia busted out some Celine Dion, and Terry did a drunk version of 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees. At some point we cut the cake and I finally got to sample it. I'd hardly eaten all day, which wasn't helping my intoxicated state, and it was delicious. Then we all danced the night away. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun fully clothed.

Eric twirled me around the floor while Alcide sang 'Blue Moon'. Fairly badly, but we'd all stopped caring about that a long time ago. He was a little drunk, too.

"Do you think Bubba might sing for us?"

"I don't think that would be such a good idea, do you? You have quite a voice, my love."

I snorted. "Oh yeah, I got the pipes. I'm a real Mariah Carey."

"Did you enjoy our wedding?"

"It was perfect. I never thought I could ever be this happy. Tonight's been like a fairytale."

"And you're the fairy. What does that make me, lover?"

I reached up to kiss him.

"My Happily Ever After."