Disclaimer: i do not own NCIS. Even though i wish every night at 11:11, I know it's not gonna happen. So i make do with writing instead.

Every night, when I lie in bed, I think of her. How her eyes twinkle when she laughs, how she sings quietly when listening to her ipod while working, how she unknowingly swings her hips when she walks, how she can make me smile while driving me insane. I think of how she laughs, loudly and exuberantly, how she smiles. I can think of so many different ways to describe her.
I remember all the times she put her life on the line to protect me - how she refused to let me put myself in harms way. I remember all the times she rolled her eyes when I suggested an idea that was totally stupid, how she would smile smugly when I was proved wrong.

I think about the way she stuffs up idioms left, right and centre, how she acts all annoyed when I can't resist correcting her. How her stubbornness refuses her to be proved wrong.

I think about the way we met; me thinking about Kate, her coming up and asking "Having phone sex?" I still laugh about, even to this day, four years later.

Ziva David is one amazing woman.

And now, after it's too late to tell her, I realize that I love her.

I remember Gibbs telling us there were no survivors, how my heart broke in two. I think about how hard it is to get up in the mornings, knowing I'm never going to see her again.

But I don't regret it not at all. I'll never regret loving Ziva David.