Disclaimer: All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
SM owns all of Twilight. I own nothing but the plot and the O's. Enjoy!
~ B ~
It was always the case, after I came, that all I wanted to do was lie back and watch the stars twinkle against the inside of my eyelids. It was also always the case that Edward had other plans for me. It would have been irritating if he wasn't so sexy about it, and if I didn't have the promise of even more release as an incentive. With my eyes closed and my head thrown back against the headrest of my seat, I felt Edward's hands – one of them with fingers that were still damp from being inside me – find a tight grip on my hips and attempt to pull me toward him.
I opened my eyes, gazing over at him lazily. I had about an inch of space I could move into before I hit the parking brake. Stubbornly, I let my weight sink deep into the seat, making myself heavy. I didn't want to move.
I realized that I was being selfish. I knew that, and yet I continued to fight against the gentle tugging at my hips. I wanted to enjoy my orgasm! I could still feel dull waves of pleasure rolling through my body, causing my toes to curl and uncurl as they hit. I could still hear the low rasp that Edward's voice had become as he'd breathed seductive commands into my ear. I could still see the look on his face when my scream had forced my eyes open. His eyes had been half closed too, his lips slightly parted as he'd taken in the sight. I squeezed my thighs together, trying to hold onto the latest wave of pleasure that rocked through me as I thought about his voice; his face. A numb, tingly feeling assaulted my fingers and toes as the feeling returned there.
And then I felt his fingers tighten even more around my hips as he attempted to pull me over.
No! Come on, Edward, my thoughts screamed at him. I'm on a cloud. Let me be on my cloud!
"Silly Bella," he whispered, leaning over and peppering kisses all over my exposed skin. "What makes you think I'm trying to take you down?" My eyes popped open. I was sure I hadn't spoken.
"What do you mean?" I cautiously inquired.
"I mean – " his lips brushed against my skin as he spoke " – I want to keep you on your cloud. Now be a good girl and bring your sexy ass over here."
Yes, sir, I thought, already adjusting my position to scoot toward him. I reminded myself to interrogate him later – sometimes it was like he was reading my mind. But right now there were more important matters at hand.
I looked over to find Edward fiddling with his belt.
Yes, much more important matters.
The nerves I'd felt earlier had left me, endorphins in their place. I gazed at Edward now from under my lashes, ready to do as he asked; the shock of being underdressed in public abandoned, the fear of being inadequate forgotten. Edward's hand traveled up past my waist and came to rest on my shoulder. As he pulled me closer so that he could kiss me, I vaguely noted that neither of my bra straps were on my shoulders where they belonged, hanging uselessly down my arms instead.
Our kiss was slow, soft. I kissed him almost lazily, calmly enjoying his taste on my tongue, still quite content with my release. He kissed me sweetly at first, but soon his kisses became more urgent, and he was nipping at my bottom lip, eliciting increasingly desperate responses from me.
He released my shoulder to hold tightly to my hip again, pulling me closer still with every touch of our lips. Soon I was panting and needed to come up for air. Edward's perfect lips released mine only to wander down my neck and start worrying over my collarbone. I felt my hips getting uncomfortably close to the parking brake. Where is he trying to pull me to? But then I noticed that he was attempting to lift me, and finally understood his purpose.
He wanted me to climb over into the other seat. It wasn't that I wasn't desperate to get closer to him as well. It was just going to be tricky in my high heels and the brand new stockings I had no intention of ruining. I was going to have to make my way over both the parking brake and gear shift, into the passenger seat in a compatible position with Edward.
Concentrating extra hard on both preserving my stockings and not looking like an idiot, I swung my legs over my seat and into his, placing my hands directly behind me in order to push myself up and over. I looked over at Edward, focused on the task at hand, waiting for him to scoot over to make room for me. He didn't scoot. That was when I realized there was only one way we could fit. That was when my fears came rushing back to me.
He saw me hesitate. I wasn't sure what he made of it, but whether he asked or not, there was no way I could tell him my concerns without embarrassment. He was sitting in the middle of the seat. He didn't seem to have any intention of moving. My only option would be to straddle him. This was definitely not what I'd had in mind for our first time. I thought perhaps we'd get in my back seat together or… or… something! Anything but this!
He wants me to be on top, I thought. I couldn't do this. I just couldn't. I had to say something. Fast. Before I ended up completely humiliating myself.
"Edward," I blurted out, my voice sounding clipped and panicked.
"What is it, Bella?"
I sighed. "I don't think I can… I mean…" My voice trailed off, but Edward had already slid over in his seat, his face concerned. He cupped my face in his hand and looked into my eyes.
"You're shaking," he whispered. "Not like before. Are you scared?"
"Yes," I squeaked. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just… I've never been on top before. I would have no idea what I was doing."
For a moment the expression on his face was completely unreadable. Slowly he shook his head, his mouth beginning to turn up into my favorite crooked smile.
"I thought you were going to say that you weren't ready to – "
"Have sex?" I spoke over him, just as he had said 'make love.' The fact alone that he'd chosen those words helped to slow my heart a bit. "I'm more than ready," I breathed. "I just don't know… you know… how to – "
"Ride?" he smirked.
"Edward!" I squealed, smacking his arm. He laughed. I managed a small smile, but I couldn't keep all of the worry out of my expression. As sweet as he was being with me, and as easy as our interactions still felt, this had been the thing that I had been most afraid of. Me not having a clue as to what I was doing; Edward laughing at me.
I felt myself beginning to pout. I didn't want to be upset, I didn't want to ruin the night, but I honestly couldn't help the constricting feeling that was bearing down on my chest. Despite myself, I felt exposed and embarrassed, and the fact that I was scantily clad and half sprawled across the car wasn't helping.
"It's okay, baby," Edward tried reassuring me. I didn't budge.
"I'm serious," I told him, my voice small. "I don't know what I'm doing."
"I'm sure you'll do just fine," he said, still obviously teasing. The smirk left his face, though, when he realized I wasn't laughing along anymore.
I shook my head, trying desperately to clear it. I hated this. I hadn't wanted to seem young, naïve, or inexperienced, and now I was succeeding in doing all three!
He reached for me then, lifting me right off my seat and placing me gently on top of him. Christ, he was strong! My legs responded of their own accord, landing me with a knee on either side of his hips. My thighs brushed against his, but very slightly. For the most part, we weren't touching at all.
I hovered there, breathing hard, looking anywhere but his eyes. It wasn't that I didn't want to be here. I was just too nervous to act, scared into stillness, just like when we'd first pulled into the parking spot.
Surprisingly, he made no moves to touch me right away. Once he'd gotten me here, he'd let his hands drop to his sides. I sucked in a deep breath to calm myself and looked to his face to see what was holding him up. When I found his eyes, they weren't trained on mine. They were darting around uncertainly instead, focusing anywhere but me.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was as nervous as I was.
~ E ~
Girls were always saying things they didn't mean.
'I hate her,' they would claim mid-fight with their best friend. Two days later they'd be walking arm in arm, in and out of shops as though nothing had ever happened.
'My hair is too long. It's so annoying,' they'd say, until you suggested they cut it. Then they'd pull it over their shoulder, clutching it protectively, revealing just how much they actually prized it.
"What if I dressed up for our first time?" Bella had said, a playful edge to her voice last night on the phone. "It would certainly keep things interesting."
I had chuckled at the thought. "That would be interesting," I'd agreed. "What would you dress up as?"
"I was thinking I could be a sexy school girl. You know, I've always kinda had a student-teacher fantasy."
"Really? That would be… yeah. That would be cool."
"You'd like that?"
Would I? I'd thought. "Hell, yes. Will you wear those thigh-high stocking things?"
She'd giggled. "Of course. Anything you want."
When she pulled up in front of my house tonight I hadn't even been thinking about our conversation. Not until I'd opened the passenger door and spotted her plaid vest. She'd noticed my gasp and seemed amused at my surprised expression, even a little offended. And yes, I admit, I'd been shocked.
I mean, sure she had said she was going to dress up, but I never thought she'd actually do it.
The drive here had been excruciating as I discovered just how far she'd gone. When I'd glanced at her feet I'd spotted spiky, black heels. Her pencil skirt crept up just a little bit more each time she switched from the brake to the gas, exposing more and more of the stockings which she'd assured me were only thigh high. Her crisp, white button down was gaping a bit, and I could see just a bit of royal blue lace when she moved, which was often. Her breathing seemed extra hard tonight, and I wondered if it was because she was nervous about what would happen between us later on or because her tie was too tight.
Her tie. She had really gone all out for me. The outfit looked really nice on, too. Not cheap or trashy at all.
In a way it was a shame, because as soon as she put the car in park I was going to take it right off.
Or at least, that's what I'd planned, but Bella had gone mute as soon as she'd cut the engine. She had been nervous, and I couldn't lie – so had I.
Knowing Bella, she had been running a list of insecurities in her head. She'd been biting into her bottom lip, probably without even realizing she was doing it. If she had kept it up much longer she would have drawn blood, and for some reason the idea had made me extremely uncomfortable. So I'd stopped her.
Once I'd gotten things started by making conversation with her the rest came naturally. There was a pull between us. A magnetic energy I knew she felt too. All we'd ever had to do was relax, stop thinking, and let it take over.
In retrospect, I suppose I'd relied on our natural chemistry a little too much. I should have known things would be different tonight – our first time.
We'd already crossed our familiar thresholds. I'd kissed her, I'd muttered sweet, mellifluous nothings in her ear. I'd touched her everywhere I knew she liked, and even more places she'd never known she liked until I'd touched her there. She'd come apart in my arms, screaming my name at first, then panting it out later over and over as she came down from where I'd sent her. She was hovering over me now as I lay back in the passenger seat. I knew that all I had to do was unzip, move that flimsy piece of lace to the side, and pull her hips down to be inside her. But the look on her face told me she wasn't ready, so I waited.
The problem was that I didn't know what to say to make her ready. She wasn't a virgin, she'd told me, so I was left to believe that it was making love to me and not the act itself that was making her so nervous.
I wanted to tell her not to worry. That I was here, that I wasn't going anywhere; that she could trust me. I could feel her anxiety coming off of her in waves, and I somehow understood that it stemmed from a fear of abandonment. After all, she'd only been intimate with one other person before me. Jacob Black – he played center for our rival school's basketball team. She hadn't told me herself, but rumor had it that their relationship hadn't outlived their first sexual encounter by long.
Yes, it made perfect sense. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became. That explained her hesitation, her insecurity, and the plain fear in her eyes. Sex was supposed to be a new beginning in a relationship, but her first time had marked the end.
I was all ready to tell her not to worry, that I understood her apprehension completely, when I realized that telling her that I understood why she was hesitating probably wasn't going to make her feel any better. She needed something more from me before she could give me this. I just couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was.
I love you.
It was barely a whisper, but I heard it. I looked up at Bella expectantly, waiting for her cheeks to flush or for her to shake her head and start muttering nervously to herself. Neither of those things happened. Bella was still glancing nervously around the car, trying not to look at me as though she hadn't just told me she –
Do you love me?
Her lips hadn't moved. I'd been looking right at her and I know I hadn't seen her lips move. I hadn't heard the words very loud, but I had heard them. It had been Bella's voice, clear as a bell.
I probably should have been freaking out, but I wasn't. The truth was, this type of thing happened to me all the time. Responding to questions people swore they hadn't asked, or doing someone a favor they later told me they were only thinking of asking me. Anticipating the moves of an opponent during lacrosse games, when no one else on my team thought he'd move that way. Still, though it seemed I must have some insight into people's minds, it had never been quite this clear before. Not like it had been just a moment ago – like I'd literally read Bella's mind.
A part of me wanted to focus on her harder, to try to hear her mind as clearly as I had just a moment ago. But another part of me knew that would be wrong. How could I use my advantages to know her every thought when there was so much she didn't yet know about me? Things I still didn't know if I could tell her. Like the fact that Carlisle and Esme weren't my birth parents – I'd lost my parents in a car accident when I was ten, and though they had been my godparents, I'd never met Carlisle and Esme before that day.
Everyone knew how protective I was over my younger sister Alice, but no one knew why. How could I admit to Bella that Alice and Emmett, my adopted siblings, were the only real friends I had? Since Emmett was going away to college next year, I was being extra careful to keep Alice close before I lost her too. I'd had lots of friends in Forks, Washington, where my birth parents had lived, but Carlisle and Esme lived in New York City.
People at our high school treated me like a God – athletics affected the masses in strange ways – but as for my life before lacrosse… those stories I couldn't even tell. My first time had happened two years ago with a teammate's mother. When I'd realized she was in love with her husband and had only used me to make her Tuesday afternoon less mundane that day, I'd gone wild and slept with most of the cheerleading team in just a few months.
I wish I could say that the fear of Bella's disgusted expression the moment she knew the truth about me was what I was afraid of. It wasn't. Bella had a way of cutting through what I was actually saying and hearing what I really meant. The truth was, she was my first real girlfriend and she knew it, but if she found out about my past, then she'd know why... and I… I wasn't ready for that. Looking out for myself, and only myself had always been easy. I knew I would never leave me; I would never betray myself, never use myself, and never let myself down. She could do all those things to me, though. She may not have realized it herself just yet, but I knew she could. What would I do if she ever left me? She was so important; what would become of me if she walked away?
I glanced up at Bella, still at a loss for words, when she surprised me by taking my hands in hers and placing the tips of my fingers on the outside of her thighs. Instinctively, I traced the soft skin up to her hips and grasped her there firmly. She closed her eyes and sighed, reacting to the pressure of my hands, and then leaned forward as if to kiss me. I parted my lips ready to receive her, but her nose only brushed against mine and she nodded her head repeatedly.
She was nodding her consent.
A part of me wanted to take her word for it and run, to just get inside her as quickly as I could. Truthfully, I'd done it enough times. But right now, I couldn't. Not tonight; not to her.
I had to be sure.
~ B ~
"Are you sure?" he whispered, his voice a breathy rasp. A moment ago I had been nodding eagerly, but now I stopped, pulling back to look at his face. I was sure for the most part, but a tiny part of me was nervous; nervous enough to postpone our first time indefinitely. I had negotiated with that smaller part just a moment ago, telling her that if we backed out now, we might lose Edward, and neither of us wanted that, now did we? But the way he was looking at me right now… he seemed… earnest and… sincere. I suddenly trusted that he wouldn't have asked me if he wasn't prepared for me to say no – prepared and okay with it.
Feeling brave, I spoke up. "I think so," I admitted.
"You think" – he quirked an eyebrow at me – "or you know?" He smiled slightly at me, but I could tell it was because he was nervous.
"Honestly…" My voice turned up at the end like a question. "I'm worried that you'll disappear… you know… after…"
"You don't have to be worried about that." His eyes bore into mine as he spoke the words, slowly and clearly. I could have been focused on the elegant shapes his mouth made as he sounded out each word, or the deep rasp his voice receded into when it got low. But I wasn't paying attention to any of those things. For the moment, all I could decipher from his words was the absolute truth of them.
"You promise?" I whispered, my voice shaking a bit. He opened his mouth to reply, but I cut in before he could answer. "I just… you don't realize…" I was trying to get the words out. The three little words I had been thinking all night, the ones that I was terrified of saying. It was strange – somehow I knew how he felt about me. He'd never outright said it, I just knew. Still, if I said… it… and he didn't say it back…
I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
"You mean a lot to me." I held his gaze as I spoke, the same way he'd held mine a moment ago, as though he'd been willing me to find more in his words than what he'd said. My voice was shaking from the effort it was taking to keep it from being a mere whisper. "You have no idea how I feel about you. How important you are to me."
He sighed. "Trust me, I know. I know exactly how you feel, because I feel that way too. I felt it even before you did."
Was he…? Was this is way of telling me he –
"I promise," he said, interrupting the thought I'd been having. "I'm not going anywhere." He gripped my hips tighter, then, as if to punctuate his meaning. "I'm here."
Yes, I thought. But for how long?
"Forever," he whispered.
I swear, sometimes it was like he was reading my mind. His words had left my heart racing even more than it had been before, but that wasn't the only physical response I was currently experiencing.
"I'm sure," I told him, somehow managing to keep the tremors out of my voice. He lifted his chin, bringing his lips closer to mine, and I eagerly met his lips in a sweet, slow kiss. In that moment, it felt like all the vows we'd just made to each other – both spoken and unspoken – were being sealed. I felt myself relax as his lips moved with mine, and, just in case he was inside my head, deliberately thought the three little words that I had so far only managed to imply.
I felt my breath quicken as his kisses became more urgent. He pushed his tongue authoritatively into my mouth, and I yielded to him each time, reveling in the way it felt when he took control.
I didn't have time to be worried anymore as Edward placed his fingertips on the outside of my thighs and slowly, almost torturously, slid them up over my hips. The feeling of his rough fingers moving over my skin was tantalizing. His touch was cool despite the way it caused my own skin to heat. I shivered and noticed his breath quicken, the color of his hooded green eyes darken as he took in my obvious arousal.
The car was getting hot – even hotter than before. It was incredible. We weren't even kissing – only touching – but the anticipation in the air was so thick; it was palpable. My eyes darted to one of the windows as I observed the white layer of fog that surrounded us, hopefully shielding us for the curious eyes of any passersby. I wanted to delay things some more, partially because I was getting nervous again, and partially because this moment was so sweet. I wanted it to last. Yet Edward's sweet, tart taste was still lingering on my tongue, and I found myself taking my own lips in my mouth just to capture the leftover traces of him. Edward moaned a low and throaty sound while I worried over my bottom lip with my teeth. His scent blew into my face as he let out a deep breath. Somehow, even tainted from having had parts of me in his mouth earlier, his smell was as exquisite as ever. Our combined aroma may have been the most incredible thing I'd ever experienced in my life.
Edward used his thumb to move the lacy fabric of my panties to one side, tracing a painfully gentle path over my sex, then proceeding in the slow, deliberate circles that had so successfully undone me before.
Okay, so maybe this was the most incredible thing I'd ever experienced.
I gasped, a high pitch sound from somewhere in the back of my throat accompanying the breath. His lips turned up into the slightest of smirks as he watched me react. Somehow the smugness of his expression was even sexier than the way he was touching me. The moisture between my legs began to pool as he touched me, so much that the journey his index finger made to proceed inside me was actually audible. I whimpered at the contact, and though he seemed in no hurry to move things along, I suddenly found that I was the impatient one.
I leaned forward and kissed him hungrily, if clumsily, while my hands fumbled with his belt. I felt around for the hook for double the time it usually took to undress myself, which was already double the time it would have taken me to do it with my eyes open. Edward didn't interrupt my progress, instead focusing intently on the dance our tongues were doing as his fingers continued their rhythmic maneuvers in and out of me. When the belt was finally unfastened, it was time to worry about his pants button. I slid my thumb firmly over the button several times before realizing that the clasp actually snapped shut, and all I had to do was pull. It released with a loud pop.
I fingered the zipper until I found where to hold it and slowly slid it down as far as it would go. Edward's fingers came to a halt inside me. I tugged at his jeans, indicating that I wanted him to pull them down his legs, and he pushed his hips up from the seat in order to pull both his pants and boxers down over his ankles.
I'd meant to reach down and grasp the bottom of his shirt and pull it over his head, but when I looked down I was distracted by…
It was incredible. Intimidating, but incredible nonetheless. I had felt Edward before, in my hand, the few times that I'd given him some release in that way, but I'd never actually seen his endowment until now. A part of me was scared suddenly, remembering that pain was a key part of sex for me – at least in the beginning – but there was another part of me that was only more anxious to get him inside me now that I realized his size. I looked back to his face – after staring at his remarkable appendage for who knows how long – only to find that he had somehow removed his shirt himself.
Edward was naked. Right in front of me, for the first time ever. And just inches – literally – from the one place I needed him most.
To say that I attacked him next would be an understatement. His kisses seemed hesitant, but it only made me kiss him harder; faster. I wanted to get lost in him. I wanted to be distracted. I needed him to enter me now, while I was still jaded from his exquisite smell, his taste, and less likely to feel the extent of the pain his initial penetration would inspire.
His touch became rougher as I worked my tongue against his. One hand was firmly holding my ass in place, causing my sex to brush against his just slightly when my hips stubbornly bucked, as his other hand pulled the cups of my bra down, exposing my breasts. His finger flicked over my nipple, then squeezed it roughly between his fingers. It only just didn't hurt, and I was surprised to find that I wouldn't have minded if it had hurt… just a little. We continued to accidentally brush into one another, and, though I was enjoying the taste of his tongue and the waves of pleasure that were beginning to reach my toes, I could still feel so much… even through the lace. It was making me impatient. Every time my hips passed over him, there, I discovered something new. He was warm; he was thick. I was terrified and impatient at the exact same time. I didn't want to wait any longer. I couldn't.
Just do it, I thought, praying he could hear me.
Edward broke our kiss. He shifted in the seat, though I wasn't sure what he was trying to achieve by doing so, and pointedly moved the lace between my legs completely out of the way. He kept his eyes focused on mine as he did this, and I felt myself panting as I stared back at him, aware of the fear that must have been evident on my face. I prayed that he wouldn't misinterpret my expression; I was only afraid of the pain – I trusted him completely.
He placed his hands around my hips and attempted to lower me further. This would be difficult. I found that I needed to spread my knees wider, which wasn't the easiest task given the rather permanent width of the seat. I placed one knee on the very edge of the seat while the other was almost off completely, resting uncomfortably on the seatbelt. He tilted my hips forward with his hands and began pulling me toward him until I felt the hot, wet tip of his dick slowly pushing inside me.
I bit down on my lips, hard, and dug my nails into his shoulders. My muscles were tensed though I fought to relax, which was probably making this worse than it needed to be. The pain of him stretching me began to travel down my legs before the pain of him filling me shot up my spine. But then he paused, as though to let me get used to some of the length before giving me the rest, and my hips, reluctant to endure anymore, shifted just slightly upward. The feeling caused something to tighten in the pit of my stomach, and I moaned, because it had felt better than good… better than great… better than anything. He reclaimed my hips with his hands and slid the rest of the way inside me, pausing when how deep he'd gone inside me caused me to scream.
"Sorry," he muttered, quickly pulling out just slightly.
But I didn't want him to be sorry. Oddly, the slight pain was…somehow… turning me on…? I pushed back, trying to lower myself back down to send him the message. My lips were still trapped between my teeth and I didn't trust the sounds that would escape if I released them just yet.
Apparently he'd understood my purpose. Edward licked his lips, then parted his lips and slid his hands just under my ribs. His grip on me caused the feeling in my stomach to clench at me again. His hands around me were strong and firm, not gently caressing my sides as if I were some delicate, breakable thing. I imagined that I should feel concerned at the way he was handling me, but I didn't. Instead, the idea of his need controlling him this way only served to increase my need for him. I moaned appreciatively as he pulled me swiftly off of him, then lowered me back down, stretching me again.
His fingers were closing around me as though I didn't have a waist to speak of, the fast up, slow down movement causing my knee to connect with the seatbelt over and over again. I couldn't have cared less. A small, vague part of me knew that my knee would be black and blue in the morning, and that I may have to fabricate being pulled out of the path of an oncoming bus should anyone notice the thumbprints he was no doubt leaving behind. But the rest of me wasn't thinking about any of that. The rest of me had forgotten what pain even felt like.
He increased the speed of his movements, until soon he was quickly slamming me down onto him, his hips pushing up to meet mine every time. I barely heard my own screams. His hands on me, his pulsing length inside me, the ever tightening knot in my stomach – that was all I could process.
Until suddenly the knot exploded.
My own voice sounded foreign to me, as though a thick fuzz was surrounding me, blocking out the senses that should have been much clearer. All I could do was feel him. I knew that he'd slowed, deliberately moving my hips up and down the full length of him once again.
"Fuck, yes," he muttered, and I struggled to respond somehow, though I doubt I succeeded in forming any actual words. My entire body was tingling, shaking from the strength of the explosion, searing hot everywhere. And yet the tension in my belly was building again. Faster this time.
I squeezed my eyes shut as the next one came, vaguely aware that he was slamming into me again. I felt my body struggling against him – my hips would have been bucking wildly were he not holding me firmly in place. But suddenly something felt wrong. Suddenly I couldn't feel him anymore. What had happened?
I opened my eyes, peeking out reluctantly to understand why he'd stopped. He was grinning at me, and for a moment I thought it was over.
Then, "Turn around." His whisper alone went straight to my clit sending a dull wave down to my toes. I didn't move. Not because I didn't want whatever he wanted to give me, but because I had no idea what he meant me to do. Did he want me to lean over the dashboard?
The confusion must have shown on my face and, thankfully, Edward seemed to realize that I was too gone to process his words. He lifted me off of him and shifted to the side, placing me on the seat, and gently pushed me over so that I was laying on my stomach. My lower back arched naturally as the seat could not recline to the point of being perfectly flat, but something told me that wouldn't be a problem.
Edward positioned himself behind me and pushed his hand into my lower back causing me to arch even more. He slid into me effortlessly.
Ah! He felt so different. I thought I'd felt him everywhere before, yet now he was everywhere else. He leaned forward toward me, his full weight on top of me now. I was somehow more aware of him than I had been before. I whimpered when his lips brushed vaguely over my cheek; my ear. I hissed when his teeth sank into my neck; my shoulder. I heard his voice, but couldn't make out any words, until suddenly his right hand released my hip and came down on my ass – hard.
"Who's is it, baby?" Fuck, he's sexy. Somehow the slap on the ass had caused the new knot in my stomach to lurch, and despite how the movement had shocked me, I was un-offended – just turned on.
"Ungh… it's yours…" My voice was barely audible. I was trying to speak, but I was panting too hard. I didn't have the air.
"Louder," he demanded, another quick sting to my rear shocking me into a quick response.
"Yours," was all I could manage, though my voice was nearly a shriek.
"That's right," he rasped, and the sound of his voice, laced heavily with need and sex, made the heat that had been building inside me burst again. I screamed. He rightfully understood the sound as encouragement and renewed his grip of my hips, holding me in place as he picked up his pace. Soon I was shaking, but it was different this time. It wasn't a quick burst like the others. It continued to build, buzzing through me, making everything he wasn't touching numb, hot, tingly, and useless. I felt my body bucking, my muscles clenching. "Who fucks this pussy better?"
"Nobody, Edward!" I screamed. I was shocked at both of us – at the language I'd never before heard from his lips; at my automatic response, and the pleasure they'd both brought me. He repeated the question, thrusting into me harder, but I couldn't answer with words this time, only a scream, as my orgasm rocked through me harder than anything I'd ever felt before.
He pushed as far inside me as he could, his grip on me becoming tighter than ever, and I knew he had finally found his own release. The weight of his body on top of me was welcome, as I had no intention of moving anytime in the immediate future. Suddenly the sound of our breathing seemed incredibly loud. In fact, everything was suddenly loud. Everything looked brighter and smelled sharper. My mouth was dry, probably from all the panting. But my body was… pleasantly numb. Like there wasn't a single bone left.
Eventually Edward moved, presumably to relieve me of the weight that had never bothered me in the first place, and sat in the driver's seat, just watching me. I shifted ever so slightly, so that turning my head to watch him watch me would be more comfortable. I stared at him, all the while replaying our encounter in my mind. We'd just made love. It hadn't been slow, or soft, and we hadn't been lying in a soft bed over rose petals…
Truthfully, that sounded a bit boring compared to how we'd just… I wasn't even sure how it should be described. Yet this, I realized, was what I liked. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that I was starting to feel a bit tender and sore already, I'd be ready to do it again.
I loved him so much. That was the other feeling weighing down my body along with the numbness – the certainty with which I felt that feeling. Tonight he'd made me his…
He began to squirm in his seat, as though uncomfortable with something he was hearing. I knew I wasn't saying anything, but wondered if that really made any difference. If he could hear what I was thinking at all, it probably wouldn't only take effect when I wanted it to. The idea of his being uncomfortable with my thoughts of… loving him… (if one could whisper one's thoughts, I just had) didn't bother me. It probably should have. I probably should be in a frenzy, paranoid that he didn't return the feelings I felt for him. Yet, he wasn't really subtle about demonstrating the way he felt about me. He just didn't seem very comfortable at expressing his feelings for me with words. It wasn't that I didn't want to hear it. I did – I really, really did. But I could live with that…
It had to be enough, because regardless of whether he said it or not, I already knew. I knew somewhere inside me – maybe in my heart, maybe in my gut. But some part of me knew he loved me. I didn't know if or when he'd ever look me in the eyes, the way I so desperately wanted to look into his right now, and say the words.
Nevertheless, it didn't matter. Tonight had only clarified how much I needed Edward. As long as he stayed with me, as long as we stayed like this, I would wait as long as I had to for him to say the words.
Even if it took forever.
~ E ~
I sat in the driver's seat, craning my neck slightly to stare at her. For a while, she'd stared back at me, just watching me watch her, neither of us feeling the need to break the silence in the car. I didn't know how long it had been before she'd finally moved, rolling over onto her back. The light from the streetlight overhead shined in at an angle that obscured my view of her face from here. I got up and put my feet in the chair, sitting awkwardly onto the dashboard. The gear shift poked uncomfortably at me no matter how I shifted, and I had to lean forward to avoid hitting my head. Not exactly the most comfortable position in the world. But I could see her now.
She was lying on the reclined seat, her feet in mid air as she got more comfortable. She slowly removed her heels, then slid a stocking down her leg, flinging it into the backseat with the rest of her clothes. Her royal blue bra straps hung down her arms, but her bra stayed in place, pushing her modest breasts up toward her collar bone. She unhooked her garter from the second stocking and removed that one too. With both smooth legs propped up on the dash, she reached behind her and unhooked her garter belt, giggling as I openly stared. She started to throw the garter belt into the backseat, but stopped, giggling even louder now as she hung it around my neck. I felt my grin spread wide across my face, placing one hand over the lacy fabric that now adorned my neck. I fingered the clasps and the ribbons, wondering if she had meant it as a trophy of some kind. The lingerie still smelled of her faintly, and hung from my neck like a medal. The idea seemed silly to me as I eyed her, sprawled comfortably in the seat, her cheeks still flushed from our encounter.
She was the real prize.
I opened my mouth to tell her that, but closed it quickly, afraid that she would use it against me if she knew the extent of my feelings for her. She eyed me suspiciously, and I suddenly got the feeling that she was wondering what I saw when I looked at her.
Beautiful, I thought. But because I might reveal too much of myself by telling her that, especially after all we'd just done…
"You look so sexy right now," I told her. A safe response. She smiled, seeming satisfied that I appreciated what I saw. And I smiled back, pleased that she knew I enjoyed her, and grateful that she didn't yet realize just how much. "Come," I told her, lifting her legs off of the dashboard and moving to position myself in the passenger seat with her. "Let's go to sleep."
She looked disappointed suddenly, and it only took me a moment to realize why. Not understanding my intentions, she began to climb over into the driver's seat.
"No," I said, my voice a little panicked as I put a hand on her arm to stop her. "Stay with me."
She barely reacted, but I sensed her relief somehow. We tried several positions before we found one that was comfortable for both of us. I was lying on my back in the center of the seat, my feet stretched out in front of me. She was curled up in my lap, her head resting against my chest.
She seemed stiff at first, and I suddenly remembered that she had trouble sleeping.
"Go to sleep," I instructed, hoping she would respond to my commands as well as she did when we made love.
"Okay," she sighed. There seemed to be amusement in her voice, but I felt her muscles relax a little and was satisfied enough not to retort.
I wrapped my arms around her and stroked her hair to soothe her as I felt myself beginning to drift off. She softly muttered something I didn't hear, then began idly tapping on my chest. At first I wrote it off as a restless habit. After a few seconds, though, I realized she was tapping along with my heartbeat.
"I love you," she whispered. I didn't respond. There was no right answer except 'I love you too,' and I didn't have the strength to say that right now. She had breathed the words out, almost slurred them. It was clear that she was half asleep already. I wrapped my arms even tighter around her, willing her to fall asleep before the words escaped me anyway.
I wasn't sure how or why I knew this, but she wasn't upset that I hadn't said it back. She sighed deeply as I tightened my hold around her, and when I glanced down I thought I saw her smile a little. I was surprised when, after just a few moments, her breaths became incredibly even.
"Bella?" I whispered, but she didn't answer. She was fast asleep.
I had never been around Bella when she was asleep before, and she had never told me she talked in her sleep. So it surprised me when I started to drift off again and heard her mumbling against my chest. At first I thought she had woken up, but her breathing was too even, and her eyes were tightly shut.
"So'em…barsing…" she murmured, shifting a bit on my chest. So embarrassing? "Sexy…" she breathed. Sexy, huh? I hoped she was dreaming about me.
Her next words eliminated any doubts I might have had, though. My name escaped her lips over and over again, clear as a bell, sounding like music on her lips. Sometimes she said my name adoringly; sometimes she said it desperately, the way she'd sounded when I was inside her. My body had stiffened underneath her, my heart pounding so hard I was surprised she didn't wake.
Unthinkingly, I began to trace circles on her arm, and this time she sighed my name, as though acknowledging that I was the one holding her while she slept. She smiled a little as she said my name that last time, and finally, I could no longer resist.
"I love you," I breathed, saying the words so slowly that I could have been sounding them out.
"I know," she murmured, lifting her hand from around my arm and placing it directly over my heart.
I gasped, fearing the worst – that she had woken up and heard me. But she didn't react. She was still sound asleep.
I closed my eyes and began to drift. My pulse was beating harder than usual, made only more obvious by Bella's hand resting possessively over my chest. I thought of removing her hand, but didn't bother, instead leaving it there on my heart.
There'd have been no point in the action, after all. Apparently we both knew it was hers.
~ The End ~