HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YUKIMURA SEIICHI!!! This is a birthday fic dedicated to my most favorite character in the series, the Rikkaidai Captain. It's not exactly a birthday scene, more like Yukimura-centric, but since it's his birthday tomorrow (I posted a day or two early, so sue me guys) I just had to write... something about him. Anyways, since I'm inspired today, I've finally decided to continue another chapter of Affair, and starting to brainstorm on Stop the Wedding and finally getting new ideas on a new plot for Adorable, Dirty and Silver Pair. I MIGHT be posting some fics for these pairs, I don't know, but the possibility of me writing about them in the future is extremely high. Keep your fingers crossed.

Warnings: SUPER-ULTRA-MEGA-POSSESSIVE!Yukimura ('cause it's his day and all), shounen-ai Alpha Pair, lame humor, some typos and EXTREME OOCNESS AND CRACK. You have been warned.

By nature, Yukimura Seiichi was a selfless and thoughtful person.

Where else would you find a person attaching 100 kilogram weights on his teammates during their stamina practice so it would help them 'lengthen their enduring time' and letting them run five hundred laps while being chased by starving wild dogs in the excuse of 'developing faster reactions and reflexes'?

Yes, he considered himself as a very generous individual, and he always insisted on helping people reach their highest potentials, which includes tying a person above a crocodile pen at one particular point in his life and trying to see if he could be stealthy enough to not awaken the slumbering reptiles.

Suffice it to say that in Yukimura Seiichi's dictionary, 'helping people reach their highest potentials' equals to 'pushing a person to the brink of death to see if they would survive'.

However, he was still human after all, and naturally, humans have their own wants and desires.

In his case, his wants and desires came in the form of a tall, handsome, and stoic-looking capped teen. His desire's name was Sanada Genichirou, and it was in his good fortune (or maybe not, in Sanada's case) that he had made friends with the silent male and was able to make him his vice captain in the tennis club (or was it slave, he can't remember too much…)

In any case, everything in the Kanagawa region was as perfect as it can be, with the clear sky, the cool wind, and the fair weather; it was the most perfect moment for tennis practice. And there he was, standing as he foresaw the work his team was doing. Idly he wondered if it was going to be labeled as abuse if he brought his leather whip to practice and snap it around a couple of times to make the non-regulars run twice as fast around the courts…

He giggled to himself, making Yanagi, who was standing by his side, look at him questioningly, or as curious he could with his eyes closed. Honestly, how he could do that was beyond Yukimura's ability to comprehend and it frustrated him. He was supposed to know everything about everyone, for god's sake! He was the Child of God! He was supposed to know who's who, what's what, who loves who, who likes what, who screws what…

Wait. … What?

Shaking his head out of the confusing thoughts, he scanned the tennis courts, chuckling when he saw his son with Sanada, Kirihara Akaya. Well, he meant that in the metaphorical sense, since it was plain obvious that he was too young to have a child and he just wasn't biologically made for it (and the fact that Sanada would be horrified to know that he had impregnated his captain despite the absurd impossibility of it), but he loved the younger teen dearly, and when he saw that Sanada was rather fond of the boy as well, he decided to adopt Akaya as his legal son.

Well, in his mind anyway.

Eyes skipping past Niou and Yagyuu making out in the courts (actually, Niou wasn't able to catch the tennis ball in time and ended up slamming against Yagyuu, causing both them to fall to the ground in a rather compromising position, but he was the Child of God after all, and so he could bend reality to his will if he so wished, even if it was the complete opposite of what was happening. What he didn't understand was that why it won't work against his beloved Sanada…); he finally found his object of affection.

He smiled, swooning internally. Sanada looked so buff, so handsome; barking out orders to a couple of second years who were slacking off… it was undeniably sexy. Of course, it would be Sanada who's going to wear the metaphorical pants in their hypothetical relationship, as he fits the stereotypical 'seme' category (yes, he knew about all about yaoi and shouen-ai, as Yagyuu, despite his looks, was an avid fan of manga and has introduced to him a couple of good animations, one being Loveless. He absolutely adored Ritsuka, the little kitten that he was, but not as much as his darling vice-captain, who was a big, lovable, and very obedient big puppy) but there's a difference in wearing the pants and letting him wear them.

He suddenly caught Sanada staring at him. He smiled more widely, giving him a little wave back in greeting.

The teen unexpectedly blushed and quickly turned away from him. He felt his smile turn into a little smirk.

Things can't get any better, no sir.

But as the rule goes: don't say that it's a good day today, or you just might end up jinxing it. He didn't believe in that sort of nonsense (because he's the Child of God, duh) but today that rule would apply specifically for him.

"Oh, look there, Jackal." He heard Marui say to his doubles partner. "It's Sanada's secret admirer."

Sanada's secret admirer? Sanada has a secret admirer? A secret admirer?

"Really?" The Brazilian craned his bald head, trying to get a glimpse of the 'secret admirer', sounding incredulous. "Sanada has an admirer? I always thought that Sanada usually scared people away with his looks."

That's because it was him who taught Sanada to look like that when they were younger, Yukimura thought, pouting slightly. The fact that there are still people who were noticing Sanada and his charmingly good looks told him quite plainly that he did not succeed in frightening the possible competition. He grumbled inside.

"Yeah, Yukimura, he has." Marui commented with a light pop. Jumping a little internally (cause it wouldn't be cool if he would physically jump at the sentence, and he had a reputation to uphold, after all) he turned to the volley specialist, a bit confused, eventually realizing that he had said those words aloud. "There's a girl in my class who has the hots for him, and word's out that she's gonna confess to him soon."

"… I see." He said softly, although inside, he was starting to get a little irritated. "Who is she?" He asked sweetly, cracking open a silver of sapphire. Marui felt like someone just poured a dozen ice cubes on his back. Alarm bells were ringing in his head. Run away!!! You're going to die!!! His mind screamed, but his legs seemed to be frozen under the captain's glance-glare.

"Fu-Furuya Sachiko." Marui stammered an answer and nearly collapsed in relief when Yukimura had accepted his answer, clearly intending to spare his life for another day. He sighed audibly.

If people thought that Seigaku has it tough with running laps and drinking that horrible drink of mass destruction (a.k.a. Inui Juice), they may as well say that Yukimura Seiichi was the most innocent and angelic tennis player in the middle school circuit.

Marui shuddered violently at the thought.


Yukimura was still smiling, and his voice stayed in its sweet, melodious tenor, but everyone on the tennis team scrambled to save their lives as the captain walked by passed them, the temperature in the tennis courts actually dropping a few degrees. The murderous aura blackened a thousand fold and nobody stuck around to be a scapegoat of the Rikkaidai captain's obvious rage. There was once a second year who didn't get away quick enough.

Suffice it to say he he's still in a comatose state right now.

Yukimura's thoughts ranged from beheading to throwing a bloody and mangled corpse (which strangely looked like a teenage girl) to a pit of starving lions. He thought about the various torture devices he had kept hidden (smuggled really, but same difference) in his room and was thinking of the best way to pull off a gruesome and violent murder without getting blamed for it.

Furuya Sachiko. Just the mere name of it makes his fingers twitch, clearly intent on wrapping itself on the frail girl's neck and strangle her to death. Sanada Genichirou was HIS (and that was in bold, italic and underline) dammit, and he there was no way in hell that he was going to share. It would have been all right if it was some sweet girl who was just completely taken by Sanada's chivalry (He really can't blame her for that. After all, Sanada does make a good knight in shining armor) but it just had to be her, the school's renowned Slut Queen, who has the reputation of changing her boyfriend every day, and was trying to make a world record of having bedded every male student in school. Even the tennis team didn't escape her clutches. She had been interested in him once, during their second year, but he made it very clear to her that he wasn't interested, which he did by grabbing a random male from the hallway and kissed him soundly in front of her. (She was shocked, of course, and quickly stormed away. The person he kissed and the witnesses were sworn to absolute secrecy, something that they were all too happy to do. Besides, his first kiss was already taken away by Sanada, although the male in question didn't know that… yet.)

But it seems that her male radar has finally caught Sanada, and he, as Sanada's rightful hypothetical boyfriend, should put a stake on his claim. That girl was nothing but Satan's spawn on Earth, and he, as the Child of God, was born to destroy evil and save humankind. He was going to save his beloved Sanada from her wicked claws.

And speaking of Satan's spawn…

Speak of the devil and she shall appear, he thought contemptuously as he saw her on the other side of the fence, with her dark make up on and losing about half of her school uniform, leaving very little to imagination. Her ample bosom strained against that Rikkaidai green and white uniform, and Yukimura internally retched, feeling disgusted. He would have to think about his strategy well. His Sanada was a straight-laced, forward guy. Any form of seduction, no matter how minute it may be, would make him blush and lose all rational thinking, making him putty in another's hands. That was a side of Sanada he was NOT going to let anyone claim for themselves.

And then he saw her eyeing his man as if he was a piece of meat. Her eyes roamed around Sanada's body, licking her lips appreciatively.

His vision turned crimson. NOBODY admires his vice-captain and rape him in his daydreams except for HIM.

He would have to act quickly. If Marui was right in saying that she was going to ask Sanada out today, she would ask him after tennis practice.

… Which would end in five minutes.

Yukimura internally cursed. He needed some more time for his plan to take effect, which mainly constituted of him diverting her path to Sanada and ask her on a... date. While the idea nearly made him empty the nonexistent food in his stomach, he had no choice and that was the quickest thing he could come up in an impromptu situation.

Ask her on a date, yes… then take her to his house… then never letting her see the light of day again…

The idea sounded very much appealing now that he had thought about that…

"Practice is over! Everyone, pack up! Don't forget to attend morning practice!"

"Yes, Fukubuchou!"

Sanada's loud voice and the chorus of the club members alerted him of the present. He quickly looked for his prey only to see her quickly walking towards his vice-captain.

She's fast! He thought, swearing loudly, making some of the members near him quickly get on their knees and asking him for eternal mercy. He couldn't care less at the moment, since the bitch was going to reach his Sanada at any second now and she would have him wrapped around her finger soon.

Oh NO. NO NO NO NO NO. This was NOT happening. Not on his watch.

He was too far from Sanada to call the teen to him, and he can't run, since he would look very stupid if he would suddenly give a war cry and chase after her with a tennis racket, yelling to get her chubby, ugly paws off his territory (although he was very tempted to do that…), so there's only one thing left to do. He didn't like using this tactic, as it would hurt his pride very deeply and he would be using Sanada's weakness, but this was war, and you don't get to win if you don't fight dirty.

And he had every intention of winning this battle.

Having no time to spare, he readied himself. She was already talking to Sanada, and he knew that she was going to pop the question soon. He took a deep breath, letting himself sway slightly as he let himself turn pale, stumbling forward, letting himself lose balance and fall, giving out a loud cry of pain as his body made contact with the ground. He winced internally as his side collided with the hard earth, knowing it would bruise later, but that wasn't important right now.

"Yukimura!" "Buchou!" "Seiichi!"

Yukimura didn't stop the grimace that formed on his lips. This was the downside of this tactic; you divert all of the attention to yourself and you make yourself look weak in front of other people. In actuality, he despised it, only doing it when it's a life and death situation. He grasped his leg, rocking back in forth, looking like he was in extreme pain.

But it produced the effect that he wanted.

"Seiichi!" Sanada's deathly concerned face appeared in his vision and he smiled weakly, keeping up with his charade. "Are you all right?"

"T-This is nothing. I was returning a smash and I suddenly felt pain on my ankle… " He couldn't help but smirk internally, imagining her outraged face. "I don't know if I just shocked the muscles or if I really twisted it…" Stage one: completed.

"Let me see." Sanada carefully helped Yukimura up, letting him sit on the ground, untying Yukimura's rubber shoe and pulling out his sock, trying very much not to stare at the long, milky legs that disappeared under loose, white tennis shorts… He coughed loudly, trying to cover his blush.

"Ow…" Yukimura winced when Sanada lightly grasped the back of his foot with the care of a servant carrying the finest porcelain. Sanada looked up quickly and seeing the flash of (theatrical) pain on the captain's face, he didn't dare touch it anymore.

"Let's go to the clinic. It looks serious." Sanada made to stand, but Yukimura shook his head, refusing the offer, smiling as he ducked his head. Second stage: Reverse Psychology. "No, it's not sprained or anything. I'll be fine, really."

"But Seiichi–"

"I'm fine." He insisted, standing up before, crying out again at the pain on his 'twisted' ankle, before falling down again. But sure enough, just as he predicted, Sanada was there to break his fall. Am arm was quickly wrapped around his waist and he steadied himself by grasping Sanada's shoulders. Stage Three: Damsel in Distress: in operation.

"Are you all right?" Sanada murmured, still holding him close, his breath tickling his ear. Yukimura had to blush at their close proximity. Sanada was attractive yes, but when you're close enough, he looks so devastatingly handsome.

"I-I'm okay." He smiled back and was sufficiently shocked when he felt his knees go out from under him. He squeaked, instinctively linking his arms around Sanada's neck he felt himself be carried. Bridal-style.

He internally squealed.

"Don't be stubborn, Seiichi." Sanada chastised him. "There might be something wrong with your foot. I'll take you to the clinic."

"… Okay." He said it like a resigned acceptance, thrilled when Sanada gave him a quick smile. Both of them started to walk away into the building, and Yukimura looked over Sanada's shoulder to look at the dumbfounded girl and mouthed a single sentence.

He's mine, bitch.

And the angelic smile to go in for the kill.

As both of them left the tennis court with someone shrieking incoherent things behind them, Yukimura snuggled closer, content that he had triumphed and had shown her who owned Sanada. He really needed to thank Yanagi for forcing him to come on those acting workshops last summer.

She may be a Queen, but he was a demigod.

You can't write Yukimura without Sanada, because they're like, a package deal (well, for me, anyway). I was almost afraid that I won't be able to write this fic because I've been grounded from the computer in a while. But I was able to make it, and forgive the total randomness and the crack that this fic has, because I was feeling high when I was writing this, and also because this is the first time I've written such an OOC fic. I feel so ashamed and so I'm gonna bury myself in the ground and think why the hell did I make this. *shot*